Hi all! This is a parody, so if you see some like stuff or behaviors that don't match the character...DON'T SUE ME PLEASE! I just did this for fun while I was bored and waiting for my friend to go on aim and the idea just hit me! So...without further ado...

P.S. Rated T for a little language.

I kill chickens...don't mess with me

Chapy 1

Ginny was in the Gryfindore common room. 'Hmmmmmm what should I do today?' she thought staring stupidly at Harry and Ron.

"What are you gapping at Gin?" Ron said annoyed.

"Hu...? you say something faggot?" Ginny said meanly.

"WOULD YOU STOP CALLING ME THAT! I HATE IT!" Ron burst out angrily.

"Why should I...aren't you having an affair with Malfoy?" Ginny asked surprised.

"NO! WHERE THE HECK DID YOU GET THAT IDEA?" Ron said hurt.

"I'M A KITTY!" Harry burst out suddenly.

Silence

"Um...OK then...I'll be going then..." Ginny said getting scared.

"Why?" Ron said worried about his younger sister.

"MEOW!" screamed Harry.

"That's why...Buh-Bye then." Ginny said leaving the common room.

Ginny was walking down the hallway to the bathroom when she heard:

"Come to me...MY PRECIOUS...come to me...let me lick you...PRECIOUS!MY PRECIOUS! STUPID HOBBITSES STOLES IT FROM US! COME TO ME!"

Ginny was curios so she went to the bathroom that she thought it was coming from. She walked in and...GASP...she sees a...a. thingy that looks like a mix of goblin...and...snake...

"EW!" she screamed pointing at the thing.

"MINE! MY PRECIOUS! GIVE...ME...MY...PRECIOUS!" it screamed.

Ginny stared.

"I don't have your 'precious'." Ginny exclaimed.

"We knows you don't! The filthy Hobbitses stoles it from us!" 'It' growled.

Then, suddenly, the 'thing' started coughing.

"GOLLUM GOLLUM GOLLUM!"

"So your name is Gollum?" Ginny asked staring at Gollum.

"Well well well...what do we have here?" Said a soft evil voice.

Ginny turned around suddenly. She turned so fast she look like a ballerina...until she slipped on the wet slippery floor that is.

"O FU- FUDGE MONKEY!" She yelled.

"Here eat this." the mysterious man said, giving her a blood red pill.

"What's this?" Ginny asked taking the pill.

"It will help your buttox." Said the man sniggering

Ginny shrugged and swallowed it without thinking.

"So who are you anyway?" She asked the strange man.

The man began to laugh an evil high pitched cold laugh that sends shivers up most peoples spines.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! I am...LORD VOLDEMORT! AND NOW THAT YOU TOOK THAT PILL...YOU HAVE TO...KILL CHICKENS!

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!

"HEY! What about my precious?" Gollum said sadly.

Suddenly, there was a low flush, and Frodo came walking from the stall. Voldemort stared in disbelief.

"Sorry Gollum. I had diaria." (however you spell that ) said Frodo casually.

"Who the hell are you?" Voldemort said staring.

"OH NO! IT'S THE WITCH KING!" Frodo yelled, pointing a shaky finger at Voldemort.

"Well...heh...I wouldn't say I am the king of witches. But most witches fall at my feet." Said Voldemort brushing his sleeve playfully.

There was another flush and a foul odder came from the stall right next to Ginny.

"Sorry Mr .Frodo! Those elves shore know how to cook Sir." Said a quite fat little man.

"COME ON SAM! WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!" said Frodo grabbing Sam and Gollums hand. There was a soft pop and all the little men and gollums disappeared.

By this time Ginny had blood red eyes and was literately jumping on the spot.

"HEH HEH HEH...CHICKENS...WHERE ARE THE CHICKENS...?" she yelled shaking and smiling gleefully.

"MWAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!" yelled Voldemort gleefully, rubbing his hands. "They are in the Gryfindore common room! Go get 'em! And when you come back I'll tell you where the last chicken is!"

Ginny ran to the 7th floor right through the portrait of the fat (slightly drunk) lady.

"Hey...that was my good dre- oh forretic." she slurred, and fell asleep.

"GINNY!" screamed Ron, looking at her menacing red eyes and her shaking fists. But what worried him most was that...was it...no it couldn't be...that evil grin.

"CHICKEN NUMBER ONE!" Ginny yelled, pointing at her brother, her evil grin pasted on her shaking face. Her hands slowly turn to fists. "YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE FRIED AND SERVED WITH FRENCH-FRIES!" She yelled gleefully.

Lol! I know it's short but...that's what Chapy number 2 is for! Now I want a goo 5-10 reviews before I continue! Till then! Be safe be curiouse!

Ruskie4u