"You spent all of last year trying to drag me down, and now her!"
Cobalt eyes flashing with anger, breath coming in sharp pants, wet hair sticking to the forehead covered in a thin sheet of sweat.
I didn't mean to, she wants to say. I didn't mean to, I didn't, I didn't.
She didn't realise that she was trying to drag Ryan down. She knew she was piling all her problems on him, she knew she shouldn't, but he said he could handle it, he said he'd be there for her …
Had she really been dragging him down all this time?
She didn't mean to drag him down, she didn't mean to let Lindsey get as drunk as she did, she didn't mean to breathe wrong, didn't mean to exist without permission.
"… Messed up …You're sure doing a great job now …"
She lets the spiteful, sarcastic words wash over her like a waterfall of strong, bitter whiskey, slowly burning her away from the inside out and prays that she won't cry in front of him.
Maybe he'll tell her something else, too?
He's already told her what he thinks of how she's holding it all together, now will he tell her what he thinks of her figure? Too fat or too thin, it doesn't matter. Will he tell her what he thinks of her personality? Selfish and up herself, as if she's the only girl in the world.
She wishes she were, to him.
She almost prays that he carries on insulting her, her life, her family, her issues, just her her her.
Drag me down, Ryan, Marissa thinks bitterly, and I will still love you forever.