Open or Closed

Allie Helms

Chapter Eight

Holding onto Something

You caught me while I was falling. I've never seen anything so pure. I admit I love you. I admit you found a cure.

I was standing at the top of an apartment building. I looked down and saw endless black beneath me. I leapt off, and started to fall. It felt wonderful. The joy was overwhelming. But then as I fell I saw the ground coming closer and closer to my falling body. I hit the pavement, and then I was back at the top of the apartment building. I looked down upon my lifeless body and smiled. I stayed there a few minutes then walked away.

I woke up in a cold sweat, and noticed it was morning. I felt a sharp pain shoot through my back and thigh. I let out a yelp at the feeling of discomfort. I looked around and noticed I was in a room of the palace. The light of the morning sun was shining through the tall windows. Just then I heard to door open.

"Goodness gracious you're awake," said a plumb looking woman. She was dressed as a nurse, and rushed over to my bed to help me sit up.

I looked at her eyes bulging, "Who are you?"

"My name is Jean. I am the nurse maid, who has been tending to you," she answered.

"How long have I been asleep for?" I asked.

She fluffed up my pillow, "Just for a day dearie."

"Where is Anakin and Padme? Are they okay?" I asked in a quick hustle as I realized what happen.

Jean chuckled, "Such questions such questions."

I laughed a little too, and gave a small grunt, "Since when does laughing hurt?"

"Since you got those wounds. The one on your back was not deep, but the on you got on your stomach and thigh was a gash," she said.

I was about to say something and then Queen Jamilla walked in, "Lady Jedi we just heard you were awake. We are so glad you are all right."

"So am I. Where is Anakin and Padme? Are they okay?" I asked again.

She smiled, "They are quite all right I assure you. They are both waiting outside if you would like to see them."

"I would thank you," I answered her.

A couple minutes later Padme walked in and rushed over to my bedside, "Oh I am so glad you are alright. I don't know what I would have done without you. November, I sang you a prayer song while we waited, and it worked."

"Thank you. You are so sweet. I really do consider you as a sister. And I have to tell you something," I said seriously.

She sat on the side of my bed, and took my hand, "What is it?"

"Before I blacked out I think I told Anakin I loved him," I said quietly.

She looked at me strange, "Why is that a problem? Do you love him?"

"Yes, but it's just I don't know how he will react in four years when I die, and with everything I have going on with my past and stuff. I don't know if I could handle it. You know?" I asked.

"Well it seems to me you were meant to fall in love, and if you were meant to fall in love with Anakin then you should be with him. It's fate. I sure it will work out," she said kissing my hand.

I smiled up at her, "Thanks."

She hugged me, "Do you want me to send him in?"

"I guess it's either now or later. Right?" I said.

He laughed at walked out. Two minutes pasted before Anakin came in. I took a deep breath as he entered. "How are you feeling?" he asked coming over and taking my hand in his.

I could feel the warmth of his relief in my veins spreading to my heart. "I'm fine. Are you okay?" I asked.

"Just some bruises but that's it. Can I talk to you about something?" he asked.

My eyes made contact with his. The seas of deep blue drowned me in love and concern. "If it's about what I said before I blacked out Anakin I do love you, ad even if you felt the same way about me as I do you we could never be together. I think that when I die your grief would consume you. Plus with all the crap in my past and all I couldn't deal with it."

"Rose," he began.

"Rose?" I asked.

He smiled, "I thought November was too long so I'm going to call you by your middle name. But, Rose when you came here you had a chance to start your life over. Do not be bothered and haunted by your past." I looked at him and studied his face. That little piece of wisdom on the corner of his mouth was growing. "I do love you, but if you think that you couldn't handle it then I will respect that."

I smiled, "Thank you."

"I will wait for you though," he said looking deeply within my eyes.

I stared back at him, "I may not come."

"Then I will be forever waiting," he said and he kissed my forehead. "I'll go figure out when we can leave we have to get Padme to the lake country as soon as possible," with that he got up and walked out the door.

I was left to wallop in my own realization that I could let go of everything . . . maybe.

A couple hours later Jean came back in, "You are free to go Miss."

"Really?" I asked. I had wanted to get out of this bed for the last two hours.

She smiled, "Yes, there is a dress for you in that cupboard." She pointed to a carved dresser, and I got out of bed and opened it.

"This one?" I asked as I held up a beautiful flowing white gown. She nodded. "Am I going to have scars?" I asked out of the blue.

"I am sure of it," she said.

I punched my fist in the air, "Awesome!"

"I don't know why you would be so happy about scars they are ugly things, and most women don't like them," she said.

I looked at her," I'm not like most women."

She helped me into my dress, and she took off my bandages. It was true I was forming scars down my back and thigh. The dress was a halter top, and flowed down to the floor. It had a slight train in the back.

An hour and a half later we were in a small boat heading toward the lake country. The ride was peaceful, and I was in complete harmony. Padme was right there was something about this place that made you feel in tuned with fantasy.

We pulled up to the little lake house, and I stared in wonder. It was almost like the palace, but a little bit smaller. Anakin got out of the boat first, and then offered a hand to Padme. After Padme he took my hand with a gentle tug, and I stepped up to the platform. "Dinner will be in and hour," one of the servants said. We nodded.

"I'm going to go and put my stuff in my room, and then cozy up with a book," Padme said winking to me. I rolled my eyes at her, and she giggled. With that she walked off.

We walked a ways and stopped to look at the beautiful water. "This reminds me of when we would go to the beach," I said looking at Anakin. 'Was it just me or did his eyes turn a deeper blue when he looked at me?' I thought. 'Oh well.' "We would go every summer, and I would sometimes take a friend. I would have so much fun, and we would go to these really neat restaurants. We would also go putt – putting. I never won," I chuckled at my own memory. Anakin chuckled a little too.

"When I got home after doing my chores at Watto's shop me and my mom would sit down, and tell each other of our day. Like who we saw come into the shop, and I would give anything to do that again," he said looking me deep in the eyes.

I looked at him too, "I don't think you want to go back to being a slave."

"No, that's not what I meant. I meant just to talk like that with my mom again," he said still looking at me.

"My mom and I never got along real well. Arguing was like our sport. We would use it to decide who was right. There are somethings I wish I never said to her. Somethings I wish I could take back," I said. "But there are no such thing second chances. At least not for me."

He cupped my cheek in his hands, "You're an angel, and for you there are such things."

A tear slipped out of my eye, "No I'm not. I'm the farthest thing from perfect."

"What might not be perfect for you might be perfect for someone else," he said drying my tears.

I looked down at his hand, and something occurred to me, "Did you have a nightmare when I slept with you?"

"No," he said.

My eyes smiled, "That's it." I started to walk towards the entrance.

"What is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Anakin asked confused.

I didn't answer I left him in a confused state, but there were other things more important, very important. I ran inside, and asked the nearest servant where I could find a transmitter. He pointed me towards a room, and I ran that way. I quickly activated the transmitter to contact the Jedi Temple. The holographic image of the Council Chambers. "Master Yoda?" I asked.

"Here, I am," The small figured master came into the picture. "Urgent news, you have."

I blushed, "You can sense it, huh?"

"As big as a tauntaun, it is," he said laughing a little. "For me, what do you have?"

"Well, Master, Anakin and I were attacked by three Sith Soldiers and a Dark Jedi. At least I think it was. I know it was trained in the Jedi Arts. Anyway, but I was wounded, but before that happened I had slept beside Anakin, and I didn't have a nightmare. I also think I know what it means, and what had caused me not to have one. Master, my nightmare is not a nightmare but a strange premonition. Me leaping of the building is me facing reality, me falling is me falling for love, and me crashing is me surrendering to love. And we smiling after that is me being happy for myself, for once I am happy, and it's with Anakin. That's why I didn't have my nightmare. Anakin and I are very connected. I think our force signatures have bonded, and I also love Anakin," I said in a rush.

Master Yoda looked at me, and pondered at this, "Meant to be, this was. Strange thing, fate. Knew this would happen, I did. Meditate on this together, you must. No objections, I have about you and Padawan Anakin."

"Really? That's it?" I asked.

He laughed, "Yes."

"Thank you, Master," I said. I bowed, and turned off the transmitter. Then ran back to Anakin. "Sorry," I said. "I had to do something."

He smiled, "Apology accepted. What was it you had to do?"

"I contacted Master Yoda," I said, and then told him everything I said to Yoda.

His eyes widened, "So, he is okay with this?"

"Yes, and so am I," I said.

What?" he asked.

I looked deeply into Anakin's eyes, "I realized I can deal with it as long as you can deal with your pain when I'm gone. Anakin I love you, and my past won't change that. I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then. This is me now, Annie. I want to be with you, and you made me realize I was holding onto something that was long gone. Thank you. Are you still waiting?"

"Yes," he said cupping my cheek.

"Good," I said. Then he pulled me closer to him, and our lips touched. It was a sweet and harmonic kiss. I felt whole, and alive. I was happy, and this love I didn't want it to end. His love was all I needed, and that's all I wanted. My heart was like a locked room, and I hid the key, but Anakin found it, and opened it. I was a new person. I was me.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to make an update. School has been dragging me down. But anyway I hoped you liked it. Much more action, and love coming next chapter. It may be up Sunday but I don't know. Well I love my readers, and the reviews. Keep it up.