Why don't you let me be
Leave me alone
You start a fire inside
That I could never control
You wanna see a reaction
Come on and cut me down
You've gone as far as I'll go
Now you're crossing the line
And I am letting you know
Well here's your reaction
Stand up
I have had enough
Walk away before I finish what you started
Face to face I will put you in your place
End this game before I finish what you started
Face to face everything will change
You planted the seed
How my anger has grown
Got a feeling inside
That I can't seem to control
You wanna see a reaction
Come on and cut me down
You've gone as far as I'll go
Now you're crossing the line
And I am letting you know
Well here's your reaction
Stand up
I have had enough
Walk away before I finish what you started
Face to face I will put you in your place
End this game before I finish what you started
Face to face everything will change
Insult after insult after insult after insult after insult
After insult after insult after insult after insult after insult
Stand up
I have had enough
Walk away before I finish what you started
Face to face I will put you in your place
End this game before I finish what you started
Face to face everything will change
Walk away
Everything will change
End this game
You wanna see a reaction
You wanna see a reaction
Stand up
"Stand Up"
Trapt
Chapter Seven
Stand Up
Angel perched on the edge of the living room sofa, his elbows resting on his knees and his hands folded together. He stared straight ahead, his face expressionless. Beside him sat Wood, who was leaning against the worn back cushions. Angel knew he too had a blank mask for a face, but the emotions underneath his careful façade were complex and threatening to break forth. A deep breath from across the room broke the silence that had settled like a theatre's velvet curtain.
Angel's eyes darted to where Faith sat in one of the arm chairs, her posture much the same as his own. She was frowning slightly, her usually bright eyes dim with confusion and a slight mix of anger. Beside her sat Spike. He was somehow sprawled across a metal fold-out chair, looking relaxed and completely at ease. Out of all of them there, Spike seemed the most comfortable with everything that was happening.
"Well," Spike said, breaking Angel's sudden drifting thoughts. "Let's hear it then – tell us a tale, storyteller." Angel looked back to the center on the room, and the young man fidgeting restlessly on another metal fold-out. The man smiled brightly.
"OK then, Spike," he said, his voice still as high pitched and effeminate as ever. "Well, it really started with – "
"Let's get the Cliff Notes version, Andrew," Faith said darkly. "We all know you tend to get a bit long winded." Andrew giggled anxiously before nodding quickly.
"OK, Faith. Well, what happened… Mr. Giles wanted me to come here to… well, just to watch how everyone interacts with the Slayers, and… um… could I have some water?" Andrew looked around hopefully, smiling. He was met with silence. "OK, well, no big. Um, anyway, he just wants me to report back to him on the situation here – "
"What situation?" Wood asked calmly. Angel knew he was very unhappy. Last night Wood and Faith had stayed up late trying to get a hold of Giles, with no result. They were not happy at all about having someone sent with no advance warning. But if Wood was angry, it was nothing compared to the rage that seemed to burn outward from Faith. She saw this as a huge slap in the face, and she was ready to blow.
"Nothing bad," Andrew said hastily. "I told you – with the Academy open now, the Watcher's Council in England just want to keep a tighter watch on everything that goes on. They just want to make sure the girls are getting the best training possible. If there's anything you guys miss, they can tell you and you can fix it." Angel looked down at the floor.
"But they didn't think I should know?" Faith asked. "Spike and Angel were ready to take you apart last night," she said. "Don't the Watchers value your life?" Andrew shifted fretfully. Angel knew he had some serious esteem issues, but now was not the time for them to surface.
"They thought you might… change your methods… if they alerted you," Andrew told her.
"So you were just gonna run around spyin' on us the whole time?" Spike asked. Angel sensed something strange at that point – Andrew actually seemed to relax when speaking with Spike. Angel swallowed back a chuckle – Andrew was, in some way, attracted to Spike.
"Well, I would have come to you sooner, if I had been given the go-ahead," Andrew shrugged slightly. Angel's eyes moved to Spike's face – Spike was sensing what he was also. Andrew had a small crush on the blonde vampire. Angel felt as though his plain blue t-shirt was shrinking while he wore it. A sudden twinge of jealousy washed over him, and he felt his appearance harden. Spike still stared at Andrew, which only fueled Angel's envy.
"How do we know you're even really here on Council business?" he asked suddenly. His brown eyes flashed gold for a second as he watched Andrew's reaction.
"Honestly," Andrew said, his breath becoming very quick and heavy. "I really am here on official orders. I swear!" Angel felt his beast rising up inside him – Angelus wanted to come out and play.
"And we should believe you?" he asked softly, letting the yellow slowly bleed back into his eyes. He stood very slowly and walked to Andrew's chair, then squatted in front of it. "We can't get a hold of Giles, or anyone at the Council for that matter." He felt himself change – felt an unnerving sense of relief as his demonic side shone through. "Tell me why I shouldn't rip your head off – right now."
Andrew sat, petrified, tears beginning to leak down his cheeks as he tried to speak. All that he could do though was to sit and blubber while Angel stared at him menacingly. "I… I…" He kept choking on his words, too afraid to say anything. Angel continued staring at him, knowing he was enjoying this far too much. "I… I really… a-a-am…" Andrew stammered. "I'm h-h-here on… b-business. Please," he begged. Angel suddenly regained his thoughts, pushing Angelus back down and changing his face. He looked at Andrew for a moment more before standing and turning to Spike and Faith.
"He's telling the truth."
"You're sure?" Wood asked, hauling himself off the couch and coming to stand next to Angel. He looked down at Andrew, who still sat crying, although he appeared to be slowly regaining his composure.
"I can't be one hundred percent, but I can usually smell someone who's lying."
"Wish we had Lorne here right now," Spike mused. "Course, if his singin's half as bad as yours is, I'm almost glad Lorne's not around."
"Hey!" Angel growled. Spike smiled deviously. Next to him, Faith stood.
"So, what do we do with him now?"
"No, no, no." Spike smirked as he watched Wood correcting one of the girls as she attempted to stake Angel. She had the power. She had the speed. She had the ability. She just didn't have –
"Aim – use your senses to visualize his heart. Concentrate, Sidney." Sidney was the typical spoiled little rich girl. Her ripped and faded jeans were bought that way – from some horrible and expensive store that Spike was sure Angel would shop at if given a chance. Her hair was styled and sprayed into place so as not to ruffle even one strand of those raven curls. Her latte-colored skin was flawless. Even her t-shirt looked pressed and expensive.
Sidney took several deep breaths as she flexed and relaxed her grip on the spring-loaded stake. Andrew had a notebook out and had been scribbling hastily for the past fifteen minutes. His pen was still flying. Sidney took one last breath before looking at him, then back at Wood.
"I can't do this with him… doodling," she complained. Andrew's eyes darted up from the notebook and he smiled sheepishly. He turned slightly and continued writing, trying to be quieter.
"Sidney," Wood began. "You can't ask the world to stop when you have to slay a vampire."
"Why not?" she asked. Wood sighed, exasperated.
"Sidney, just… try again." Sidney rolled her eyes and concentrated on Angel's chest. Spike smiled outright.
Angel stood in front of the Slayer, looking bored and almost nervous. She brought the stake up, then down onto his chest. Her hand thumped on his chest as the weapon retracted into itself. She looked at him hopefully. He forced a smirk and glanced at Wood.
"OK Sidney – that's enough," Wood said. She looked dejected but stepped back and handed the plastic weapon to the next girl. Spike sauntered over to take Angel's place.
"Thanks," Angel whispered as they passed. Spike nodded, just enough to let Angel know he had heard him. As he stepped in front of the next girl (the brunette Spike remembered as Marie), he heard someone clear their throat. He looked at Wood, who was now scowling.
"What?" Spike asked.
"Um…" He turned his head to see Andrew smiling a little uneasily. "Do you really think it's best for them to try on Spike now?" Wood still stared at Andrew. "I mean, it's just… well, they were having trouble… you know… with Angel… and, why endanger – "
"There's no danger," Wood told him flatly. "The stakes are plastic. Which means, if the spring doesn't work, it won't kill them should they get impaled by it." Andrew grinned, still nervously, and nodded a bit.
"Yeah, I know, but… I-I was thinking," he half shrugged, "maybe they should have more practice… with Angel, ya know? Just… maybe… they shouldn't have a new target each time."
"Andrew," Spike said slowly. Andrew's gaze fell happily on the blonde vampire. "If you don't like what we're doin', you come over here and do it for us." Andrew's smile faded quickly as he realized what Spike was saying.
"Oh, uh, that…" He fumbled with his notebook and pen as he spoke. "That could… potentially… put me in danger. And I don't… well…"
"You don't think you could take them whackin' you on the chest, ay?" Spike asked, smirking. Andrew nodded guiltily. "Well then, don't criticize." Andrew nodded again, his eyes trained on the next girl to practice her aim. Spike glanced at Angel, who was standing next to Wood. Spike wasn't completely sure, but he thought he saw a spark of jealousy in Angel's eyes whenever he looked at Andrew. The thought captured him – could Angel possibly be jealous of Andrew's attraction? Spike didn't want to believe it. Didn't want to let himself see something that probably wasn't there. But he couldn't help it. The way Angel glared at Andrew seemed to scream it – he was insanely jealous.
"Alright ladies – good job tonight. Go home, get some rest." Spike watched the girls as they walked away, all of them rubbing their shoulders and flexing their hands. The night was over – and he hadn't even noticed it. He saw Angel exiting the training room swiftly, and Spike could detect his annoyance.
"Hey, uh, Spike?" Spike's attention wandered to Andrew, who was standing near him, his notebook clutched tightly to his chest like a little boy on his way home from school.
"Yeah, Andrew?"
"Um, I was just… wondering… could we…" Andrew took a deep breath and steadied himself before continuing. "Could we maybe go… talk?" Spike stared at him with raised eyebrows.
"Talk?" he asked. "About what?"
"Well," Andrew began. "Maybe, about… the training, ya know… or… um… personal lives, if you wanted… or I could tell you about my favorite moments from Doctor Who – "
"Right," Spike cut him off. "Training it is then. Where shall we go?"
"I was thinking, there's this nice looking little Italian place right down the road," Andrew shrugged, trying to sound casual. "We could go there, talk strategy – "
"And what about Faith and Wood?" Spike asked. "They're the ones runnin' this place – they should be the ones you talk to about trainin' strategy. Or even Angel." At the mention of the older vampire's name, Andrew seemed to blush slightly and looked away.
"Oh, I… I don't think Angel likes me very much," Andrew muttered. "I don't… don't wanna push him, ya know?"
"I know, pet," Spike softly, his gaze traveling back to where he had last seen Angel. "Believe me, I know."
"So, we can go?" Andrew asked. Spike pursed his lips then nodded.
"Yeah. Let me change – and shower. And while we're on the subject, you might want to do the same." Spike looked at Andrew seriously. "Just a thought."
About thirty minutes later, Watcher and Vampire walked down the street together. Spike inhaled, taking in the scents around him. He was dressed in loose fitted black jeans, with black boots and a plain white t-shirt under an open button-down royal blue shirt. Andrew was wearing black slacks, a white long-sleeved button shirt, and a brown tweed jacket that Spike was sure had been Giles' at one point. The young man seemed optimistic – excited, even. Spike wasn't sure why, but he didn't care enough to question. He was still trying to figure out why he had been chosen to go on this little excursion.
"It's nice here," Andrew commented. Spike snorted in reply.
"Yeah, for an American city."
"You have a point," Andrew agreed. "England is incredible. I love London."
"London," Spike chuckled. "I wonder if I'd recognize any of it."
"Probably," Andrew told him as he grabbed the door to Bianco's and they walked in.
The restaurant was small – it would seat maybe fifty people if it had to. But it was quiet, and really quite posh inside, in Spike's opinion. He and Andrew took a small booth next to one of the windows. Andrew sipped greedily at the water that was placed in front of him while Spike nursed an imported beer he had never tried before – and probably wouldn't again.
"So," he said, regarding the Watcher in front of him. "Here we are then – entertain us." Andrew looked at him, confused. "What's on your mind?"
"Oh," Andrew said, sounding relieved. "Um… actually, it's not training." Spike nodded.
"This would be one of those personal matters you wanted to talk about?" he asked. Andrew smiled as Spike rolled his eyes. "Figures. Listen, Andrew, I'm not one for the listening and hugging and sharing bit – that's really more of Angel's style."
"But – " Andrew began. "I… Angel wouldn't understand."
"You'd be surprised just how perceptive and understanding that cro-magnum vampire is, mate," Spike told him. "He sees more than most people."
"Except what's right in front of him," Andrew scoffed. Spike frowned.
"What are you on about?" he asked. Andrew blushed.
"He just doesn't see what's really there for him," Andrew stated. Spike lifted his beer to his lips, taking a small swig.
"And what's there that he doesn't see?" Spike asked, intrigued.
"You."
Spike stared, surprised, at Andrew for a moment before looking down at the table. "Have you – "
"No," Andrew told him. "And I won't. Not even if you asked me to." Spike nodded, his eyes still staring at the table's flowery cloth held under a large glass surface.
"And Faith?"
"I haven't said anything to anyone – just you, so far." Spike inhaled deeply, feeling his nerves slipping. He couldn't believe it – he knew Faith saw it. Faith had seen it before he had really seen it. He was sure Wood saw it too. But that man was an enigma, and Spike wasn't about to try and dig under the surface anymore than he had to. They would never be friends – why push it?
"You've only been here a day, and you could tell?"
"Uh, hello – I'm a Watcher," Andrew said flippantly. "I've been trained and taught everything there is to know about vampires and vampire behavior, both souled and unsouled. And, since you and Angel are the only two vampires ever to have souls, I know a lot about you."
"Do you know that I'll rip your throat out ya keep talkin' that loud?" Spike asked quietly, smiling. Andrew shrunk back slightly, his shoulders hunching up.
"Sorry," he said. "But, as I am well versed in vampire behavioral patterns, your response was one of four I would have expected," he said happily. Spike just stared at him.
"You need to get out more," the vampire muttered.
"So, is he, ya know, interested?" Andrew asked. Spike wearily rubbed his eyes.
"I've no idea, mate," Spike told him. "And why are we even talking about this?"
"Because," Andrew stated, "I thought it would be a good idea to bring it into the open. Besides – this could be a real breakthrough for the Watchers – "
"No," Spike said forcefully, causing Andrew to jump. "My love life isn't fodder for the Watchers. It's not gossip for the Slayers. And as of now, it is officially off limits for you to talk about – ever again." Andrew opened his mouth to protest, but quickly shut it again at Spike's glare.
"I just want to help you out, Spike," Andrew murmured after a few tense moments of silence. Their waiter came by then with Andrew's plate of Fettuccine Alfredo, asked Spike if he was sure he wasn't hungry, then left them again. Andrew dug into his plate, devouring most of his meal before either of them spoke again.
"Alright, Watcher Junior," Spike resigned. "We can talk about bleedin' Angel. But everything – and I mean everythin' – stays off record and out of the books. You don't talk about this with anyone else, or the things I'll do to you will make what the Watcher's Diaries say about me look like children's books, you got it?" Andrew beamed and nodded, swallowing a bite of noodles.
"I will take these conversations to the grave," he vowed.
"Damn right you will," Spike told him.
"So, how long have you… ya know?" Andrew sat up at attention, eager to hear the story. Spike sighed.
"Few weeks – maybe a month," he said.
"What made you realize how you felt?"
"Angel was bein' haunted – these spirits kept tellin' him he killed 'em."
"Like The First?" Andrew asked, captivated. Spike nodded.
"Yeah – just like it, actually. But it was only after Angel. The First would have come after the rest of us. Anyway, I watched him – lyin' in his bed, not doin' anythin' – he was catatonic. I knew then – because I knew I would have done anythin' to bring him out of it. But I couldn't work that kinda mojo."
"Willow," Andrew said. "That's why she left so suddenly. Giles wouldn't tell anyone, and when she got back all she said was that Faith and Wood had needed a powerful Wicca – so she went."
"Thought you were a Watcher," Spike mocked. "Thought you would have figured that out before now." Andrew shook his head, blushing.
"When The Council wants information concealed, no one finds out what it is. Their resources are a lot better than before." Andrew finished the last of his food and pushed the plate to the side, sipping some water to wash it down. "So, tell me what happened – how did Willow bring him back? Were you scared? Did you get to help?"
"Hang on, chap," Spike said. "First off, I'm not givin' details about how he came back. The witch did a spell – simple as that – and yeah, I helped. That's all you get on that." Andrew nodded, frowning slightly. The waiter came back again with the check and cleared the table. Andrew left some money and the two got up, nodding their thanks as they stepped outside. The night had grown a bit chilled, and Andrew pulled the worn jacket around him tightly.
"You will tell him though, right?"
Spike looked over. "Dunno, Andrew. Might not be the best idea."
"Spike, how can admitting your feelings not be a good thing?" Andrew asked. Spike laughed.
"Do you have any idea what you're sayin'?" he barked. Andrew smiled at him and nodded.
"Yeah, I do. Spike, sometimes, you have to stand up for what you want. You have to just put it out there and take a chance that something could go wrong. Because if you don't, you'll never know what might have been."
"You sound like a man who speaks from experience," Spike said softly, looking down at the ground. Andrew snapped out a harsh laugh.
"I am a man with a burden," he said. Spike smiled as he continued. "A man with a dark past." Andrew shook his head. "I know that there are times when you should go for what you want. This is one of those times, Spike. I mean, what if for the rest of eternity, you felt this way for Angel and he felt it too?"
"Please," Spike growled, suddenly feeling more than frustrated. "Angelus would never. Never," he repeated. The two continued walking along in silence until Andrew finally spoke again.
"It could be worth a shot," he said softly.
A/N: My dearest readers, please forgive the lack of posting – It's been crazy in my life for the past few weeks. Work went insane for a few days, and now there is a new acquisition in my life – a boyfriend. Shrugs Wasn't looking, and that's usually when it happens. So, please forgive me as I am just now getting this up. It is the first I have been on a computer in several days. Just know that I love you all so very much and am hoping you stick around for the next chapter.
Well, still no smoochies. But hey, Andrew was being insightful – that's worth something, right? I know this was shorter than usual. But bear with me - I am getting somewhere with all of this, I promise. Hands you all some cookies Keep reading?