Freezing in the deathly cold water, I hovered on the surface for a little while, waiting for my body to become numb. Why did it have to take so long before I could go under? The water looked crystal clear and very soothing, once I got past the part of its temperature. Knowing that it really wasn't going to get much warmer, I dove under, and images started to swirl...

I was in an open field, with soft green grass below me and a boundless blue sky above me. In the distance to my left there lay several patches of longer grass. To my right was a very gorgeous cathedral, with a long steeple that rose, large and black, into the heights of the sky. However, it was missing one thing...Kurama. This place was so much like the world of my dreams, but this place did not feature Kurama. "I miss you," I said aloud, hoping no one could hear me. "I miss you with everything I have!" Looking up to the sky, I almost expected some sort of response, some sign that said he was listening from a place far beyond where I was.

Instead, there was a rustling behind me- the sound of footsteps on the soft cushion of the springy grass. "Days pass and hope fades," a familiar voice said. "Night slowly becomes day, which slowly turns into absolute darkness. And yet you search." Everything went silent. I didn't breathe, since I didn't know the source of this voice. To do so would prevent a threat as it was.

"Who are you?" I asked, my eyes wide with terror. "Why are you here?"

"I am the messenger," it replied. "You know me, you harbor a part of me in you."

"What kind of part?" I snarled, turning around to see that no one was there either.

"All of the darkness that you have ever felt. I am the part that you left behind, the part that you abandoned when he died. After I melted away, I took shape, and you still know me. You're not Kaiina anymore...don't even try to fool yourself like that. You're Katie, the weakling, the one who can't get over the loss of her beloved." I shifted my eyes to the side and caught sight of a winged figure with black feathers flying all around her. Dark features shimmered as she placed a hand on her slight hip. Smirking, I stood up, ready to confront this part of me.

"So is it you who provided all those distractions...all those things that stopped me from loving him?" I asked, looking into those eyes that burned lividly like two hot coals.

She had a look of triumph on her face as she confronted me, and I took on a fighting stance, hardly rusty at all even after all those years. My saber hung at my hip now as I changed back to the demoness that I was before fleeing to Makai. Every part of me was disheveled and wild now, but I paid that detail no heed. Grabbing a long black string, I tied my hair pack into a loose ponytail, watching as she let me prepare. It was unnerving to see her standing there as if it didn't matter how long I took. After all, it must have looked like I was stalling my inevitable death.

Finally, I was ready, and she charged, using her massive dark brown wings to propel her forward. Dodging to the left, I swiped at her and caught the wing that was flying by me. Obviously, no blood spurted forth, but the messenger seemed to stumble, falling onto one knee. When her wings folded in, they disappeared, and she was free to fight me. Remembering Kurama, and all that she had done to distract me from him, I smirked and charged forward. She smiled playfully and jumped up in the air, claws coming out from her fingers, spreading until they were almost a foot long. Black liquid dripped from them, and I laughed,realizing that she knew my fighting style by heart...it was mine, after all.

"What do you want from me?" I asked, pausing to take a few quick breaths before charging again, zig-zagging back and forth this time.

"If you're defeated," she said, panting as she blocked my series of blows with the saber, "I'll be able to get into Ningenkai, and take it for my own. Yes, there will be nothing to stop me. Your fox won't even know I'm there until it's too late...and you'll be trapped in this realm for eternity." Laughing wickedly, she thrust her claws forward, and I felt them sink into my sword arm, slowly rendering it limp and numb...virtually useless.

"That just means I can't let you win," I said, keeping that blatantly ridiculous smirk on my face. "Kurama's mine, and I've looked too long to just give up on him." Then I dashed forward.

It was a matter of seconds before she was impaled on my merciless sword, and I knew she was dead. I didn't even need to check it and see if she had a pulse. "You lose," I said, drawing the blade out of her stomach. "You can't have my body." Smiling viciously, I looked at that dead body. Spread out there, I hadn't realized how much she looked like me. Her face wasn't as round as mine, but her features were the same color and she had moved with the same litheness. Somehow, I had been able to distract her for that split second, which was just enough for me to come in for the kill.

Now silence was back once more. It haunted me, amplified the loneliness of this vast, empty space. Still, there was no Kurama, but I felt so at peace. Slowly, ever so slowly, a song crossed my lips. It was one I had heard Jakiri sing so long ago...

The shattered glass on the floor

Can never be restored.

All that now is broken

Will ever be no more.

Yet light will shine through cloudy days,

Illuminate the dark.

It chases dreary shadows away

And drives out the twilight stark.

You'll never be the same,

But here I'll be,

Calling out your name

Until you return to me.

My emotions fly like birds

With wings that are meant for speed.

My thoughts remain unheard

Taking wing without heed.

Honestly, I couldn't remember the rest, but it had been just as beautiful. The emotions that that song carried for me were far beyond what I had shared with Jakiri in our friendship. My love for Kurama shone through the darkness and mystery that shrouded his current form, hiding it deftly from my hungry eyes. Moving on, I decided to head toward the cathedral.

When I got there, it was extremely beautiful. Ebon doors were carved with vines that climbed up to the arch. Roses were dispersed in various places, and they were marked with intricate patterns of rubies. No one could have duplicated that pattern if their lives depended on it. Pressing my hand against one of the doors, I heard it creak open and walked through the slender space. Once again, I was in my human form, being quite used to it after these past few days.

Inside the building was even more spectacular than outside. Behind the altar hung a cross. Wrapped loosely around the cross were vines with roses on them, identical to those carved into the doors. Each one was a rich shade of crimson, and the petals slowly fell to the ground, leaving a soft carpet for me to tread upon. Strangely enough, none of the flowers lost their fullness no matter how many of their petals fell. For a moment, I thought of Kurama. He had always smelled like roses mingled with other scents from the wild. Sometimes, however, his thorns numbered more than his petals.

"So, you still want to find him, do you?" a familiar voice said. It sounded like my dark side's voice, but it wasn't tainted with hostility--yet.

"Of course I do," I said. "It's very lonely, but you wouldn't know, now would you?"

"Oh," the voice said, and I heard her clasp a hand to her mouth. "You must have met Oretheia. She has been here a while, but never before has she attacked anyone like that."

"You're not her?" I asked, turning around to face that hooded figure solemnly. As proof, she took down her hood. My first reaction was her beauty.

Pure blonde hair spilled down her back and into the robes that she wore, shining like the sun it resembled. Her eyes were the deep blue of the ocean at twilight, and there seemed to be the same tumult within them as within the ocean. However, they were free from the darkness that had possessed Oretheia's eyes. "My name is Lirra," she said, pulling her hair out and letting it fall down to her lower back. Two thick locks fell a short way past her shoulders, resting on her arms. The white robes only made her seem like some sort of goddess as she stood there in all her regality.

Lirra. It was a pretty name to fit a pretty face, but I still felt as though I had to be on guard. Staring directly at me, her blue eyes were a challenge, her beauty was an awe-inspiring distraction. However, she kept her robes wrapped tightly around her as she stepped forward once, twice, three times. That face's expression still didn't change, and I felt as if it were my time to die, the way her face was stuck in such a solemn expression. "What did you want from me?" I asked, a little fear

"Nothing," she replied softly. "I took pity on you. Two demons, feeling mutual love...it must be very strong to affect you so. Usually it wouldn't even be possible, but you, at least, are different. In case you haven't noticed, you're not exactly a full demon."

Anger rose up within me, and I clenched my fists, trying to hold back from attacking Lirra. "What the hell do you mean?" I demanded, restraining my fury by a thread. "I belong to one of the longest lines of demonic aristocracy!"

"You're not a demon. Everything about you, your thoughts and emotions, they're not those of a demon." She looked into my eyes directly and mine shot open as wide as they would go. Though I tried, I couldn't close my eyes. "You're an elemental spirit in essence, but you are still part demon. Fehreil, your father, was a wolf demon, but your mother, Rhia, was the spirit of Hell's Grove in solid form. Honestly, you weren't supposed to be born. Rhia was told to kill the child because Fehreil didn't want a 'filthy half-breed' in his bloodline."

"It's all a lie," I screamed, infuriated that she could deny my bloodline. "I lived in my father's palace for the first years of my life! He could have just exiled me." Lirra smiled at my apparent ignorance and shook her head, blonde hair swaying from side to side.

"Fehreil was going to exile you, at first. However, Rhia disguised your appearance, making you look more like your father, but giving you most of your mother's powers. Upon seeing that he would have a powerful daughter, Fehreil thought he could bring you up his way and make you into a ruler fit to inherit his place. When you fled to Hell's Grove, though, you and Jakiri developed without all the training your father wanted you to undergo. Thus, the side of you that is more like your mother came out."

Staring up at the cross, I saw the petals falling down from nothingness. When I looked up at where the ceiling would have been, there was just eternal darkness. Lirra picked up one of the rose petals off the floor, and it turned into a flower in full bloom. "Your mother had the ability to enter the Plane of Luminescence, too," she said gently. "I see now why you didn't enter this place before. Your mother's blood needed to be awakened, so that you could learn her abilities. You're on a level with your servant, and, as you know, she's not a demon. In truth, Jakiri is a dragon from Reikai, from the deepest caves of that world. Even King Yama doesn't know about them."

"I've always known where Jakiri came from, but I always thought I was a pure wolf demon! My mother's name wasn't Rhia! I'm a pure-blood, and I know that for sure!" I lunged forward at Lirra, grabbing her by the neck.

"So," she said, "you are willing to listen to me, but only when I say what you want to hear, is that right?"

"No!" I screamed. "It's all a lie! You're just lying to me...!" Clutching my head, I sank to my knees, screaming in agony. I was a demon, a pure-blood wolf demon! Some stranger couldn't just come up and tell me that everything I'd known all my life had been a lie!

"If you deny it, you'll never be able to tap your full power," she said, backing away at my anger. My face was in the floor, my back arced, and I looked at my hands. Tanned, smooth, flawless, they had been the hands of a demon so long. Now I looked at myself differently. Petals fell on my back, mingled with my hair. They smelled so sweetly like Kurama's scent, that which I had taken in when everything was still simple, and I still knew that I was what I thought I was. More and more petals fell on top of me, and Lirra tipped up my chin, gazing into my eyes.

"Listen to me," she said. "Hear me out." I nodded and waited, petals falling off of my neck as tears ran silently down my face. "You are more earth apparition than you are earth demon, but you are still part wolf demon. I'm not saying that you're not a demon, you're just more like a half-blood. Remember that there are even more abilities that you will be able to unlock due to the blood of your mother. In truth, you really are stronger than Jakiri, and she knows you always will be." Sighing, I calmed myself and stood up, feeling all the petals fall off of my back. Lirra smiled at me and took my hand. "Now," she said, "do you want to see him?"

"Yes," I said. "I've wanted to see him for so long."

"Then follow me," Lirra replied, and led me outside the cathedral.

Slowly, we walked out toward the long grasses. When I stepped inside the patch she directed me to, I felt it brush against my head, and the colors of the whole place swirled. My head spun, and I started to feel dizzy. A flash of green streaked across my vision, and I gazed helplessly at the spinning images until they finally stopped.

I was in a bedroom made entirely of dark colors. Deep blue sheets were on the bed, with silver bedposts. An ebony nightstand was next to there, with a single crimson rose sitting in a vase on the table. Obviously, it must have been Kurama's bedroom. Suddenly, I heard footsteps, and tried to find a place to hide...to no avail. He came in, his toga-like robes wrapped loosely around him. His silver hair flowed freely over his shoulders, making him seem so glorified. "I haven't seen you in so long," I said, running over to greet him. I was swept up in his strong arms, and felt his hands run down my back, soothing my fears.

For now it didn't matter what the real truth was. I just knew that Kurama was here, and I would be able to find him soon. He had to be here. There was no other way for me to keep on going without him. "Where have you been?" I asked. "Please, what does the vessel look like?"

"He will be the one who rescues you from the lake," he said simply, kissing my neck just below the cheekbone. "You've been away a while too. Here, it's such an eternity, but he can't discover me yet. Though he knows that he is me, I'm still locked away here for a while."

"No matter what form you're in," I said, "I just need to see you in reality once, to feel you close to me. I don't want to believe what LIrra told me."

Kurama looked at me gently. "You have to," he said, and drew me closer until we were kissing passionately. I was pressed up against him, taking deep breaths whenever he needed air too. My hands wrapped around his neck and I shook. If only it weren't a dream. If only this were the reality that I wanted so badly.

"Now I know that you'll find him," Kurama said. "Amazingly, you still haven't lost access to this place, and I hope you won't...ever."

"I hope so too," I replied, and smiled up at him lovingly. It was possible for me to love, but it was in a less savage way than he loved me. I really was the daughter of Rhia and Fehreil. They had borne me, and whether I was a mistake or not, I was what I was. That was when I slowly slipped out of that Plane, back to reality.

I was lying on my back, and I could feel a few rose petals still tangled in my hair. An orange jacket that was too big for me covered up what needed to be hidden, and there was the smell of some sort of food. "Kurama?" I called, remembering the words of Youko Kurama, my lover. When I sat up, I gaped at my own stupidity. How could I not have known?

Hey! Cliffhanger! Alrighty, you probably know what's going to happen, but this took a while to finish. I had this chapter on a floppy disk but then that disk wasn't working, so I had to retype the whole thing! Argh ! Anywho, I really must apologize. My frustration coupled with the start of my freshman year really slowed down this update, which was supposed to be out around the 23rd. Also, I will probably only get to update about once a week, since I have papers and such to type up also. For now, I bid you adieu, hoping that I am able to update soon!

Ciao!

Miari