Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and Co. J.K. Rowling does.

Summary: Death comes to pay the boy-who-keeps-avoiding-him a visit. How is Harry going to explain Death's presence to his friends? Think "Meet Joe Black".

Chapter 4: Three's a Crowd

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Aunt Petunia may have been harsh, but she always wanted to appear hospitable, especially towards guests. By the time the boy and Harry had gone back up to his room, there was already a cot set up next to Harry's bed complete with sheets, a blanket, and a pillow.

"Um, so you can sleep here," said Harry, motioning to the bed.

Death walked over to the bed, sat down, and bounced a few times. "Yes, this will do."

Death fingered the blanket, as if testing it, and patted the pillow. Harry watched all this with an eyebrow raised and his arms crossed. Harry had just opened his mouth to say something when a scream was heard from downstairs.

"What was that?" asked Harry, to no one in particular.

Death looked towards the door, unconcerned.

A rush of footsteps could be heard coming up the stairs, and the unmistakable sound of Dudley slamming the door could be heard next. More footsteps followed and Petunia could be heard bargaining with her son outside his door.

"Please, Dudleykins, it's only for a while…" pleaded Petunia. "The school won't let us send him away. Besides, he can't hurt you…"

"No!" shouted the muffled voice of Dudley. "I refuse to live in this house with another one of those freaks! They're dangerous!"

Harry smiled. "Looks like Aunt Petunia just told Dudley that you were staying…" he said wryly to Death.

"I wonder why he is so upset," said Death thoughtfully.

Aunt Petunia was still pleading with Dudley. "Come on, Dudleykins, I'll buy you a new game…"

"No! If that freak doesn't leave this house, I-- I won't eat! Not one thing! And it will be your fault! Because of you, I'll starve!"

"Unlikely…" muttered Harry.

"But Dudley--" started Petunia.

"No! No, no, no!" screamed Dudley.

"Your cousin-- He seems a bit… needy…" stated Death.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Boy, is he ever!"

Petunia burst into Harry's room. "Harry, you have to tell your school that your friend can't stay here! He is upsetting this household!"

Death looked at Harry pointedly, interested in what his answer would be.

"Um," said Harry, glancing at Death's patient expression, "No?"

Petunia's eyes widened. "You have no choice! He has to leave!"

"But Hogwarts won't let anyone else take care of him," lied Harry, a bit unevenly. "There're no other students in the area."

"What about those friends of yours who are always visiting? Can't they take him?"

"No…"

"Then we'll put him into a hotel! He's leaving tomorrow." Petunia was about to close the door in finality.

"No!" shouted Harry.

Petunia opened the door again with a glare. "What?"

"I mean-- You can't just send him away," Harry stammered. "He and I will only be here for another twelve days. That's less than two weeks! The school needs me to host him while his family is away! I'll get in trouble if I don't. You'll get in trouble if I don't. And he's normal, not like my other friends. He can't hurt Dudley! He can't do any magic whatsoever!"

The "m-word" shocked Petunia, but it helped Harry's argument. "Fine. Your friend stays. But I don't want you bothering Dudley, understand?" Petunia's tone of voice was laced with threats.

"Yes, ma'm," said Harry. "Thank you."

Petunia slammed the door.

Harry turned around. Death looked very amused, which didn't help Harry's mood.

"I hope you're happy!" said Harry.

"That was very well done," complemented Death, pleased.

Harry narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, well you wouldn't be so happy if Aunt Petunia hadn't given in. I still have Uncle Vernon to deal with, never mind more of Dudley's tantrums…"

Death smirked. "I'm sure you'll find a way to deal with it."

Dinner that night was quiet, relatively. Aunt Petunia had warned Vernon the boy was staying over beforehand, so Vernon had no sudden outbursts. His face also had time to fade into a lovely maroon color, instead of his usual purple.

Petunia sat at the table, glaring at her husband and son, willing them not to make a fuss in front of a guest, whose family was new to the area, and in front of the windows where the neighbors might see them. After all, she didn't want gossip to be spread (although she seemed to have forgotten her little stint that afternoon).

Vernon ate quickly, angrily glaring at Harry, as if all this was his fault. Dudley kept shooting frightened glances at Death while shoving his food into his mouth in an effort to leave the table as soon as possible. Apparently, he had forgotten about his earlier promise and was as hungry as ever.

Harry just felt awkward. On one hand, his aunt was making an effort to be polite in front of this guest, but on the other, he knew that it was taking a lot of energy for the Dursley's not to kick Harry out of the house right then and there.

Death seemed to be the only one undaunted. He ate his food carefully, examining every bite on his fork before he ate it.

"This fish is quite delicious," the boy would say. Or he would hold up a piece of asparagus and ask Harry, "What is this tasty food called?" Death seemed to enjoy every bite and seemed quite fascinated with eating in general.

Petunia and Vernon just looked at the boy with dubious and suspicious expressions, trying to understand why this boy was so interested in dinner.

Dinner was soon over, and though Harry tried to pull the boy away from the dinner table, Death insisted that he should stay right where he was.

"I think I would enjoy eating more food," Death told Harry factually.

Aunt Petunia glared at the boy slightly.

Vernon and Dudley quickly left the room and left Petunia to deal with the "freaks" and dishes.

"Um, I guess I can make you some more dinner…" said Harry uncertainly.

Petunia frowned at Harry.

Harry walked over to the refrigerator and peered inside. "You could have some chocolate cake… or some celery… or vanilla pudding… or left-over meatloaf… or a grapefruit…" Harry closed the refrigerator. "I guess I could also make you some toast, or a peanut butter sandwich, or some soup…" Harry trailed of lamely. He finally just shrugged his shoulders and mumbled, "Oh, I don't know…"

Death looked thoughtful. "I think I will try all of them."

Harry blinked a few times. "Um, excuse me?"

"I would like to try all the foods you mentioned."

Harry looked at Aunt Petunia. She was furiously washing dishes and it appeared as if she was making an effort to ignore her nephew and his friend.

"Aunt Petunia?" asked Harry. "Would that be okay? Are you saving some of those foods for anything?"

"Your friend can have the celery," Petunia answered.

Death raised an eyebrow.

"That's it?" asked Harry, interpreting Death's look.

"And the peanut butter sandwich, if he must," ground out Petunia. "But nothing else. Especially Dudley's food."

Death looked mildly pleased and Harry pulled out a plate to fill with celery, toast, and peanut butter. Aunt Petunia finished with the dishes and, with one final glare towards Harry, left the kitchen.

Death and Harry sat down at the table with the plate of celery and sandwiches in front of them. Death munched on the food while Harry stared into space.

"I think the peanut butter tastes better with the celery than with the toast," commented Death after several minutes.

Harry's thoughts were scattered. "What? Oh, the peanut butter. Yes, some people do eat peanut butter with celery."

Death stopped munching suddenly. "What is that?" he asked.

"What's what?" asked Harry. The sounds of a television program drifted into the room. "You mean the television?"

"That is where the sounds are coming from?"

"Yes…"

The boy looked curious. "I have always wanted to see one of those…"

And before Harry could stop him, Death grabbed the plate of celery and peanut butter and shot towards the living room.

Harry walked in after the boy and was met by a very strange sight. Death had wedged himself in between Dudley and Petunia on the couch. Aunt Petunia looked extremely disgusted, as if a cockroach had just crawled onto her lap and died, and Dudley looked as if the only thing that stopped him from screaming was that he was too afraid to scream. Vernon was purple. Dark purple. And livid.

"Now, see here, boy!" shouted Vernon in Harry's general direction. He had jumped up from his chair and was waving his finger wildly around as if still unsure whether to blame Harry or the boy. "This is preposterous! I won't have your kind ruining my family's evening! You should think yourself lucky to have had dinner with us! Now remove that freakish friend of yours from the couch and GO AWAY! I don't want to see you in here again!"

Death slowly turned his head to look at Vernon. "I do not think you should care whether or not Harry and I join you here," Death said politely.

Vernon swiveled around and looked ferociously at the boy.

Death's eyes bored into Vernon's eyes. "I think it is perfectly acceptable if we want to watch the television," continued Death. "We can watch it together."

Vernon took a step backwards with a mixture of fear and dumb acquiescence on his feature.

"You do not mind if your nephew and I sit here with you," said Death pleasantly but forcefully.

It appeared to be a battle of wills, and Vernon finally backed down.

"No… you're right… You may sit with us tonight only. …" said Vernon as he sat back down in his chair. "This is the only exception…" he finished weakly.

"I knew you would agree with me," said Death, turning his eyes back to the screen. "After all, I would not want to miss out on watching television."

Dudley and Petunia stared in shock at Vernon. He was never this lenient!

"But--" started Petunia.

"He can't—!" said Dudley.

Vernon waved his hand in dismissal and muttered, "Just for tonight, just for tonight…"

Death winked and waved Harry over to sit next to him. Harry hesitantly made his way over and sat down where Dudley had quickly made room for him. Unfortunately for Dudley, his love of television caused him stay in the living room, but his now heightened fear of his cousin made him quite complacent.

Two weeks until school didn't sound that bad to Harry if every day was going to be like this.

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Um… I realized I had a few chapters already written from, like, a year ago. Sorry…

-heart- Adah