I sat on the windowsill, dressed in the clothes that I had worn when I first came to Ningenkai. Back then my life was so full of purpose, and now there was this unfillable void that ate away at me entirely. If not for Keiryi, I would have given up.
Weeks had passed, even months, and I had moved into the Minamino house...in Kurama's old room. The place was a paradox in and of itself. While I hated to look at the pictures of a time when I had still been happy, I loved to see him, so that I could never forget him. There was one picture of him alone, though, and that was the one I valued most. It stuck in my mind obstinately, and I refused to let it go. If he hadn't come along, I would have never thought I would have settled in this quiet world.
Thoughts jumbled themselves together in my mind, from the time when we had first met, until the time when he had died. I could still feel the sting that had been inflicted on my pride when he first spoke to me. Slowly, I started to hum the tune I had heard in Tina's bar. She had helped me to find him, and I didn't have the courage to go there and tell her that my heart had been broken again. It seemed so selfish to complain in front of one who had always been rejected.
Easily enough, the words came to mind, and I relished them, knowing that they were my memories of Kurama, the one thing I had left to remember him by...
So you sailed away
Into a gray sky morning.
Now I'm here to stay...
Love can be so boring.
And nothing's quite the same now,
I just say your name now...
Nobody was there to stop me from singing, and for the first time I felt free to mourn the one I had loved more than anything. Pictures of him around me, I visualized everything about him, from his vivid red hair to his enchanting emerald eyes...
But it's not so bad.
You're only the best I ever had.
You don't want me back.
You're just the best I ever had...
My voice lilted as if it really was a guitar, strumming along to the beat of an inaudible tune. A smile crept across my face as I remembered his caressing touch, the thing that I would miss the most.
So you stole my world,
Now I'm just a phony.
Remembering your girl
Leaves me down and lonely.
Well send it in a letter,
Make yourself feel better...
Kurama's lover died with him. I would never be able to love as I had loved him, and I would never be able to let anyone else in so easily either. Stopping for a moment, I stared at the sunset and closed my eyes. For a split second, he was there, holding my hand. He whispered quiet words of endearment, clasping my left hand, which still bore the ring. I still wouldn't be able to forget my imaginary wedding to the man of my life...
But it's not so bad,
You're only the best I ever had,
You don't want me back,
You're just the best I ever had...
And it's gonna take some time to
Patch me up inside,
But I can't take it so I...
I run away and hide.
And I will find in time that
You were always right,
You were always...right...
Grinning at my imaginary Kurama, I leaned over to kiss him, and he wrapped an arm around my waist. The orange jacket that was hung on my shoulders blew slightly in the wind, but it was heavy enough so that it didn't come off. Enjoying his company, I leaned over, only to find that there really wasn't anyone there. Tears rolled down my cheeks in small, shining rivulets. My voice was almost entirely choked up as I sang the very last part of the song with all the strength I had left...
So you sailed away
Into a gray sky morning.
Now I'm here to stay,
Love can be so boring.
Was it what you wanted?
Could it be I'm haunted?
But it's not so bad,
You're only the best I ever had.
It's not so bad,
You're just the best I ever had.
You're only the best I ever had...
When I opened my eyes, I saw a certain green eyed fox standing right in front of me. His beautiful red hair blew in the wind, and I caressed it, knowing that he was real. "How did you-?" He pressed a finger to my lips and then kissed me, wrapping his arms around me, and running his hands up and down my back. When we broke apart, I looked up, and there he was, smiling innocently at me. Sometimes Shuiichi, the boy he had possessed, shone through, an entirely intelligent, innocent child. Kurama, however, was dark, mysterious, and dangerous. If someone was his enemy, caution was their main concern.
The sun set on the two of us,. and we just sat on the bed for a while. He whispered things into my ear that I had never heard him say, but it pleased me nonetheless. Soon, I lay down, and he pressed a hand to the area below the base of my neck. A tingling feeling swept over me, and I lost all thoughts of doubt. His fingers swept over the outside of my thigh, and then up my lower back. Lost in this euphoria, I smiled up at him, and he kissed me, sending fire through my veins.
During the whole night we were awake, and by the morning I had a broad smile on my face. Hours were slept away, and I woke up to find that he wasn't there anymore. He must have been fixing breakfast, or getting dressed. I sat up and saw a girl who looked very much like Ithryl standing at the window. "How sad," she said distantly. "He just left you. He took everything you had...your pride, your heart, your possessions, and your virginity. That child is just an accident." Looking up at her, I snarled under my breath and waited for further explanation.
"He used you...took advantage of your willingness to submit. He took away every part of you that was ever worth protecting. Your father would be so disgusted." Bolting to my feet at such a statement, I put my fists at the ready. The feeling of nirvana from the previous night was gone, but it wasn't because of him. It was because of this filthy, lying bitch. Ithryl had always gotten in my way, and now it was time to make her pay for all the misery she had caused me. The blade was still at my bedside, and I grabbed at it carefully.
"That might be what you think," I said, and lunged forward. Ithryl looked at me and then I was frozen in place, gazing emptily into space. Strange thoughts went through my head, things that I had never thought before...Was I really good enough to be his? Did I deserve to have such a wonderful demon at my side? While doubts flashed through my mind, Ithryl had begun to attack with her bare hands, throwing quick punches, but not quick enough. I had been trained by some of the best fighters in Makai, and I hadn't forgotten my training in my misery.
Steeling myself, I threw up the blade and jumped up to meet it, driving the edge down into Ithryl's arms, which were arranged in a defensive position. Blood ran down onto the floor, dripping quickly as I watched it flow steadily. "You think a little scratch can stop me?" she shouted, pushing forward until the blade was embedded in her forearms. The crystalline weapon buried itself in her pale flesh, and I twisted it until her skin was ripped open, bearing both muscle and tissue.
Enraged by what I had done to her, Ithryl charged forward, blood flying away from her body as she did so. I grasped the blade by the hilt I had made for it. Holding it like this, it felt so right in my hands. This was the blade meant to kill Ithryl, the retreat for the killer of my one love. "I saw his thoughts as he died," she screamed. "You were his torment, his escape, everything that he didn't need to screw over his life. Grinning maniacally, she stopped short when I pressed the blade to her throat. Delicate as could be, she tilted her neck back and tried to escape. The crystal sliced easily through her throat, and I held her up by the neck of her shirt. Her wings beat furiously at the air, but I had the foul beast cornered.
"You always were a beautiful fighter to watch," Lirra choked out, spitting blood onto my face out of spite. Her hands were clenched into tight fists as she glared into my eyes. "I feel honored to have died at the hands of such a great warrior." After she said that, she breathed her last breath and collapsed into me. Slowly, the world melted away around me, and there lay Lirra, naked, with only her wings to cover her. Before Shiori could come up and inquire about the dead body in my room, I spirited her off to Makai, to rot with the master she had loved so dearly.
Deep within my heart, I knew that Kurama always had loved me, and Lirra had been lying to try and get to me. I snuggled up with one of the shirts that he had worn, feeling its softness beside me, and fell slowly to sleep, welcoming the world where I knew I could see him...
"Katie?" a voice called, and I looked over to see Kurama standing there in all of his glory. This time, he didn't look as his original form had, but he retained his brilliantly colorful hair and eyes. I looked up at him and saw that it was really him, and not the imposter that Lirra had persuaded me into lying with.
"Are you truly dead this time?" I asked. "Isn't there any way I can bring you back?"
"Not yet," he said. "I'm not sure if it will be another sixteen years, but the Avatars have told me that I must simply wander this place for a while, and learn from their teachings."
"Can't I stay with you?" I pleaded, and gazed into those enchanting eyes. "I don't want to be without you for so long again."
"Come now, Katie," he said. "You're stronger than that, and you have our child to raise. Please, live on and be happy for me while you're in Ningenkai. My time to return will come soon enough. For now, live and enjoy what you have, Katie. Let our child have a normal childhood instead of one filled with war and fighting." With that, he kissed me and sent me off. Tomorrow would be his funeral...
A/N- Hey! Next chapter will be the last, and I can't wait to write the finale. I know this leaves a lot of questions unanswered, which is why I am writing a sequel(eventually) to wrap things up! For all of you loyal fans out there, and those of you who converted, I thank you so much for being so supportive. I love you all, and I hope you come back for the next installment.
Rock On, dudes and dudettes,
Miari