Hi! I'm back!

Erik: Ah, the triumphant return... How was your brother's wedding?

Beautiful... My new sister-in-law looked absolutely lovely... My brother was very handsome... My nephew is turning into quite the ladies man... Oh, and I caught the bouquet... I had to wrestle with the Maid of Honour for it, but behold Canada, I return to you victorious!

Erik: How very nice for you...

Ha! Yeah right! Since I caught the bouquet, the guy who caught the garter had to put it on my leg! I hated it!

Erik: Really? I thought that you might enjoy something like that!

Well, first of all, I didn't even know the guy! Second of all, I was, like, the centre of attention, which I hate. And third of all, I felt so violated! The next guy who touches my bare leg had better be my husband! But enough of that... Let's get to those reviews.

darklady5289: Not caramel! Erik will be awake all night!

Erik: Oh, come off it!

Silent Phantasy: Oooh, brownies! Well, I was fairly well-behaved in Connecticut, so I do believe I deserve a treat.

Erik: You keep Yoda in your basement? What is the world coming to?

Yoda: Strong am I in the force...

VagrantCandy: Oh, don't worry about it... It just means you get double the updates the next time you check!

Erik: I'm not confused!

Tadriendra of Mirkwood: Yay! You used the sacred 'eh' right! I loved your commentary.

Erik: Oh, poor Legolas, haha! Could you use a tissue? Monster spiders, eh? You think I'm scared of that? Well, say hello to my little friend! (Pulls out his Punjab and swings it around).

Erik! Put that thing away!

MasqueradingThroughLife: Why, thank you! I hope we continue to impress you.

Erik: MY-Erik, you are not a noseless wonder or a sarcastic corpse... You are an under-appreciated musical genius whom no one can understand and who had a very crummy childhood... How on earth did we get stuck with these teenage girls?

dulciluisa: No! Not caramel popcorn! If you give that stuff to him, he'll be up all night with stomach cramps and I'll be the one who has to look after him!

Erik: You really are a trial, Angel...

Pharaohs Daughter: Well, I tried to update as early as possible... Hope you get this before tomorrow...

Erik: Thanks for the advice... Ow, my brain hurts... Translation, please?

GalindaxlovesxErik: Grilled cheese? My favourite! Much healthier than all that sugar, too.

Erik: Like I care about my health?

Haley Macrae: Sorry about the wait... Glad you liked the last chapter.

Erik: Mr. Holmes' violin? We used to play poker every Friday night... Come to think of it, he still owes me some money... I guess this violin will pay off his debt.

Araiona Dubois: Hey, Erik! When she's famous we'll get box seats to all of her perfomances!

Erik: Oh, darn! I was hoping I could threaten someone in to giving us a box seat...

Elly McGregory: Hey, Erik! Wanna watch Timeline tonight?

Erik: We can eat this popcorn. Elly, you win the Best Newcomer award. Three boxes of popcorn? I'm in heaven.

Starrylibra: No more talk of mini phantoms! It's too soon!

Erik: Hello? Helloooooo? I hate kids! I always have! No more kids!

RowenaIsolde: I'll be keeping my eye out for that fic.

Erik: No kids! I swear, anymore of this talk and I'll go to the doctor and get the old "snip-snip, stitch-stitch", if you know what I mean...

MJ-Skywalker: Aww, sorry about that... Happy belated birthday! Here's your belated birthday update!

Erik: Don't worry, my humble Jedi companion... I shall teach you whatever you wish to know.

Carkeys: Wow, to think we were in the same state for four days... How interesting...

Erik: Angel? How come the U.S. calls them "states" and Canada calls them "provinces/territories" and the U.S. calls their leader "President" and Canada calls their leader "Prime Minister?" It's all very confusing.

What do I look like? An expert?

Erik: No... more like a local...

Alatariel Maris Telcontar: Why, thank you for sticking up for me!

Erik: I am the genius, here! I say it sucks! So, neh!

Mrs. Gerard Butler: Ha! You think I'd give Erik the chance to touch my PC again? Nope, he came to Connecticut with me... And I locked him in my hotel room's bathroom.

Erik: And you didn't let me out except to get some action in that fist-fight on Saturday night.

Me and My Shadow: Glad you liked it!

Erik: It's a popcorn heaven today!

Jedi Knight Padme: Wow, for a Jedi you are pretty twisted... Hmmm... I wonder if Obi-Wan Kenobi had such naughty thoughts, LOL.

Erik: "An Exploration and Analyzation of the Twisted and Perverted Workings of an Phan-Girl's Mind"? I like it. Hey, MY-Erik? What do you think of that title? We may have found ourselves a guinea pig, here.

the Unrequited Lover: Awesome analysis, as usual... Yeah, I know I haven't given much BG-info on Fantine yet. Don't worry! Patience. We'll get to that pretty soon, but I'm saving it up for a little later. I thought it would be better if we made Fantine's past (other than her previously mentioned engagement and career at the Opera Populaire) as mysterious as possible. It should make for a few surprises later on...

Erik: Hey, I am underappreciated! Most phan-girls just like the Gerard Butler Erik because they think he's oh-so-sexy... And other girls like other Eriks because they think he's a poor tortured soul... Few girls truly appreciate my unparalleled genius!

LadyArika: Thanks... I always try to keep them coming back for more...

Erik: Dracula 2000? No thanks. Too much G.B. On the other hand, Cursed sounds good. Let's watch that!

Crystalized Ayame Pedals: Ack! All that sugar is going to give Erik a hang-over! A sugar hang-over!

Erik: I like this girl already.

DarkSilverMaiden: You've never heard of clodhoppers? Girl, you don't know what you're missing! They're little graham candies smothered in chocolate. You can get them in vanilla or cookies n' crème or even peanut butter! Be careful! They're highly addictive.

Erik: Th-th-th-th-is m-m-m-m-assage ch-ch-ch-air f-f-f-f-eels g-g-g-g-g-ood!

Well, this will be a short chapter. Sorry about that. But I promise that they'll be longer from now on! Enjoy!

XxXxX

"What the Hell was that all about?" Fantine demanded as she and Erik returned to their lair.

Erik removed his skull mask and set it down on his desk. "I'm unsure of what you're referring to," Erik replied, nonchalantly.

"You know damned well what I'm referring to!" Fantine snapped. "You have barely even spoken two words to me in three days! Now I turn around and find you licking the back of my throat?"

"What's wrong, Fantine?" Erik smirked. "Did you enjoy my attentions more than that of your pretty boy lover's?"

Fantine didn't answer, but stood glaring at his bared face.

"Yes," she thought. "I did enjoy his attentions. I enjoyed them very much!"

"I want an answer, Erik!" Fantine cried. "I'm tired of your games! What are your motives?"

"I can't tell her my feelings," Erik thought. "It's obvious she does not care for me. Why pour out my heart to her? In the end, it will only hurt more…"

"I have no motives!" Erik snapped. "The reason I acted so forward with you back there was to protect our cover. If we keep brawling like that in public, it will not take long for people to figure out that we are not husband and wife!"

"Of course," Fantine thought sadly. "He could never wish to kiss of his own accord. Guilt or cover… That's all he thinks about…"

"And why exactly do you want them to think we're husband and wife?" Fantine placed her hands on her hips.

How Erik desired to grab hold of those hips now and–

"It's the only way they won't become suspicious of us!" Erik said, casting aside his previous thought. "Think on it, Fantine. For years, there was only one Phantom. Now suddenly, there are two! Don't you think that appears – oh, I don't know – suspicious?"

"So you think a Phantom bride is less suspicious?" she sneered.

"It's more believable than allowing people to think you just fell out of the sky!"

Erik turned his back on her, clenching his jaw. He despised himself for speaking angrily with her. But, oh, how this woman managed to get under his skin!

He sighed. "Everyone will be returning the day after tomorrow," he told her.

"Yes, I am aware of that."

"Your pretty-faced lover will be returning as well…"

"What are you getting at?"

Erik sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth. "I don't want you seeing him, Fantine!"

"A shame you have no choice in the matter," she said coldly as she turned and stalked off to her room.

Erik went to his own room and changed out of his costume.

Was it possible to feel more miserable than he did right now?

Erik left his room and walked over to her room. Careful not to make a noise, he reached out and stroked the smooth wood of the door. Every fibre in his being ached to throw the door open, pull Fantine into his arms, and tell her how much he loved her over and over…

Erik rested his deformed cheek against the wood. He pushed ear up against it, hoping to hear her movements within. All was silent. She must have gone to bed. A single tear fell from Erik's face as he pressed his lips against the door.

He moved away quickly and went over to his organ. His mask was sitting on top of it. Picking it up, Erik looked at the white leather scrap mockingly.

"This is all you are, old fellow," Erik murmured. "A mask… An empty shell… A cold, unfeeling exterior, with nothing inside… Nothing worth loving… Nothing worth caring for…" With a sad sigh he slid it onto his face.

Erik took a seat at his organ and slipped away from the world as every sadness and every sorrow flowed through his fingertips, transforming themselves into beautiful music…

XxXxX

Erik's eyes opened slowly. He was still seated at his organ. His head rested on the keyboard.

"Must have made an awful sound when my head hit it," he mused. He sat up, his neck and back protesting as he came out of the uncomfortable, hunched-over position. He arched his back slightly and listened to the sound of his bones cracking. Reaching up he rubbed his neck painfully.

Then he froze.

He heard tiny, timid footsteps behind him, approaching him slowly.

He sighed. "Fantine, about what I said earlier…" he began.

"Um… Wh-who's Fantine?"

Erik's eyes grew wide. He knew the voice even before he turned around to see the speaker.

Why? Why now?

"Oh, dear God!" he thought, horrified. "Dear God, no!"

XxXxX

Your comments, Erik?

Erik: (makes retching noises).

Uh, thank you? Oh, fine! Well, it's good to be back. I'll see all of you tomorrow. Peace!