A/N Awful sorry about the delay on this chap. It was written, but I got caught up in writing so much other stuff I forgot to post it! I've got a massive Garret angst thing in the works which may or may not be a G/J (I'm crossing that bridge when I come to it, I have just friends and freinds to something more both fighting in my head. Let's see how it works out) and I'm about a third of the way through writing that, and I've got what STARTED as a smutty slashy one shot and has evolved into a rather large multipart smutfest up on AdultFanfic that features Garret and everybody's OTHER favorite detective (not Woody). Not to mention about a pound of chem and history homework a night...
She stared off into space, staring out the window, not really paying any attention to anything. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't even notice when the door opened and Garret stepped in, sitting down next to her on the couch. "Still stuck?" he asked, startling her out of her reverie. She jumped slightly, and thought about it.
"Yeah." She said simply after a moment. There was a fierce battle going on between her head and her heart. Black hair and blue eyes against blond hair and green eyes. She wanted Shaw, she loved Shaw, she fell in love with Shaw after the first date. But she had no clue when she had started or stopped loving Woody.
"Completely torn?" She nodded. She didn't want to have to let Shaw down. She didn't want to risk heartache again with Woody. She was split.
"I just don't know." She confessed. She leaned back against him, searching for anything comforting. He gently kissed the top of her head, letting her know that he was the one that she could turn to, that he was there to lend a sympathetic ear and be her relationship sounding board: a shoulder to cry on without passing judgment.
She loved him and hated him at the same time, he was her best friend, but everyone that he had loved he seemed to able to get over once things went sour. He had gotten over his wife, Rene, everyone, he learned how to move on with his life. It was so much easier for him, he didn't have his heart and mind and body tearing him in different directions like she did. "That's the problem with love, it messes with all your plans." She smiled.
"Yeah. Just when I thought I got my life together everything gets screwed up." He grinned.
"Did you ever get over Woody?" He asked, suddenly serious. "Ever stop loving him?" She shook her head, trying to think about if she did. And she knew the answer.
"No." She admitted.
"Keep seeing him in your dreams?" She nodded.
"I don't know why. I'm happy with Shaw, I love him." She was happy with him, happier than she had ever been in her life.
"You never really get over that one. Especially when they leave you." He had a point. And she knew that he knew what he was talking about, he may act like he was over Maggie, moved on with his life, but she saw the way that he was around his ex wife. She had moved on, the same way he had, but there was still a part of her heart attached to Woody. "The thing you have to wonder isn't if you'll get over them, it's whether or not you can get over the what-if's."
She held his gaze for a long minute. It was all about the what ifs. If she was ever going to be able to move on. Would she let him walk out of her life again when she had the chance to make things right between them? Could she handle the what-ifs from letting him leave without even a goodbye. She leaned back against him, looking up at the compassion in the dark eyes.
He was her best friend for this very reason. They just got each other, they could say so much without speaking. And right now, that was what she needed most of all. "I love him, I really do, but I love Shaw too." he pulled her as close as he could to her without hurting her.
"What will you regret more? Do you think Shaw will be happy with only part of your heart, with you constantly regretting letting Woody slip away?" He made a good point. She had to decide.
"I don't know which one I'll regret more." She was torn.
"What do you think? What does your brain keep telling you." She thought for a minute.
"It keeps telling me to love Shaw, Woody's already lost me, he had his chance, if I go with him it'll only hurt me more." He nodded.
"And what does your heart tell you?" She thought.
"It tells me to love Shaw, but to love Woody too." He smiled down at her.
"Follow your heart, Jor. Even if your brain says its wrong, sometimes your own mind can take you down the wrong path. He kissed her forehead gently as he got up, walking out leaving her to decide.
Hear heart knew the answer. Being forced out of Woody's life once was hard enough. She couldn't let him go again, not with the chance for their relationship to work. "And Jordan?" She looked up to see him with his head back in her doorway. "Stabzy's a good guy. Let him down easy." She grinned, and kicked her feet up on the couch, trying to think of what she would say to each man.