I just saw Orlando Bloom on TV! He's so cute. Oh, and I apologize for the
fact that the editing on this is shite. I'm just trying to get the chapters
up.
Bratprincess- Hobnob cookies! And Faramir!
Lady LeBeau- I love you. Seriously. You're like, my new hero.
Jordan- Although I seriously doubt you'll read this since you didn't seem to be able to make it past the first chapter, I'd just like to point out that you spelled 'piece' wrong. I don't know what fanfictions you've been reading, but a lot of them are like that. Oh, and if you're the basis of what good writing should be, I'd rather not be a good writer.
*
The head elves were all gathered in the huge conference room of the New York office. This, however, was most definitely not your average meeting. Galadriel sat at the head of the table, and at the other end was Elrond- both were still quite sane. Celebrían had flown in from London and sat to the left of her husband, glaring at Thranduil who was eyeing him. Celeborn sat to Galadriel's right, playing footsies with Haldir, who sat on her left. Orophin was sitting beside his older brother, smacking him when the occasional misplaced sensual foot brushed up his leg. Rúmil sat on his other side, beside Legolas. Thranduil sat beside Celeborn, looking bored in his sex kitten way. Erestor was on his other side. Legolas was holding hands with Aragorn, who was beside him. Frodo, across from Legolas and beside Erestor, stared at them in horror, as did Sam. Even Gimli, on Sam's other side, looked shocked instead of his usual unfazed self. Elladan was sitting beside Aragorn, his head resting forlornly on the table. Glorfindel sat next to them, sharing a look with Elrohir across from him.
Thranduil drummed his fingers impatiently. "Why are we here?" he asked.
"We are here," Galadriel announced dramatically, "Because a great evil threatens to consume us all."
Celeborn rolled his eyes at Haldir, who grinned back rather seductively.
Erestor raised his hand tentatively. "I apologize my lady, but I don't see what the problem is."
"That's just because you're finally getting laid," Glorfindel growled.
Erestor was about to say more, but Thranduil's hand slipped under the table and instead his eyes widened, his mouth dropped open, and he half choked. Frodo backed away until he was practically in Sam's lap.
Legolas yawned, resting his head on Aragorn's shoulder. "Could we please get on with it? I'd like to go to bed." The way he spoke the word suggested anything but sleeping, and his other hand trailed over Aragorn's cheek.
Gimli stared at his friend in awe. "Are you sure that's Legolas?" he asked.
"That is, of course, our problem," Galadriel said. "This curse that afflicts us changes everything about us until we are twisted beyond recognition."
"I received a phone call from Galdor, in Paris, today," Glorfindel announced. "Things are falling apart there. While here it is only the 'main' elves falling under the spell, in Paris they've all been afflicted. They're behaving as most fanfiction authors believe everyday elves do. It's not pretty."
"And it's spreading day by day." Galadriel paled visibly. "Legolas, kindly stop screaming those thoughts. No matter how hard you try, Aragorn will not hear them and I can."
"Has anyone heard from Círdan?" Elrond asked.
"Nope. He's still sailing his 'cruise ship' down on the Caribbean. We haven't been able to get in touch," Rúmil answered.
"So the question is, how can we stop this," Elrohir decided.
"And is it only the elves and men," added Orophin. The sane ones all turned to look at Frodo, Sam and Gimli.
"I haven't felt anything odd or different," Frodo said. Sam and Gimli nodded their agreement.
"It may be you have a stronger resilience to it as well," Elrond offered.
"Alright, that's it!" Galadriel said suddenly. "Haldir, kindly remove your foot from my husband's crotch. And Thranduil, just take Erestor and sneak off already. You've been planning to do it for the past fifteen minutes, get on with it." She paused for a moment. "Legolas, you two leave as well. I really don't want to have to visualize that fantasy developed any further."
When they had left, Frodo sighed. "Is there no hope at all?"
Galadriel smiled at him kindly. "Not all hope is lost. We are doing all we can to find a means of correcting this."
"Aye, and what happens when everyone is caught up in this madness, and no one is left with any sense?" Gimli demanded. "Begging your pardon of course, my lady."
"Not everyone will be affected, "Celebrían spoke for the first time. They all turned to look at her. "From London we have been doing extensive research into fanfiction. With the exception of Paris, it is only the well- known elves being affected. Which leaves every other elf with, once again, the exception of Paris, to work hard against it. I am not well known at all, and in the few fanfictions where I do exist, I am more or less in character. You can be assured that I will not stand by and watch my family and friends fall apart around me."
The twins stood up on their chairs and began cheering.
"Go Mum!" Elladan yelled.
"Sit down," she told them. They did so, heads hanging like children.
"Yes, naneth."
"You see, Gimli, there is hope yet," Galadriel said.
"I have one last question," Elrond announced. "When's the last anyone heard from Gandalf?"
There was silence for a moment as everyone tried to remember.
"Didn't we see him in Ancient Egypt?" Rúmil asked Orophin.
"Yeah, and Greece too," his brother agreed.
"I think I saw him when I passed through the court of Richard V," Glorfindel mused.
"I remember seeing him in Germany about the time Elizabeth was on the throne," Haldir offered.
"Wasn't he friends with Marie Antoinette?" Celebrían asked.
Celeborn nodded. "And Ferdinand and Isabella."
"I saw him at the War of 1812," Frodo remembered.
"He helped the rebels in the French Revolution," Elladan said.
"And wasn't he friends with Queen Victoria?" Elrohir asked.
"Mmm..." a dazed expression came over Glorfindel's face. "I liked Victoria. I liked her a lot."
They stared at him for a moment before continuing.
"Wasn't he in the Civil War?" Sam questioned.
"The last I saw of Mithrandir was during the Russian Revolution," Galadriel spoke. The room grew quiet after that.
"No one has seen him since them?" Elrond asked. They all shook their heads, except Orophin who had gone suddenly white.
"Do you think Gandalf could help?" Rúmil asked. "Or could- Orophin, WHAT is the matter?"
Everyone's gaze was instantly drawn to the panic-stricken blond.
"Uh... nothing." Orophin desperately tried to avoid Rúmil's eyes.
Rúmil looked back at his brother. "No, out with it, come on!"
Celebrían looked up the table at the two brothers, guessing what was going on. She was about to warn them when she noticed that Rúmil had lost his inquisitive stance and was now looking rather flustered. Then his eyes closed as he moaned in pleasure and the meeting abruptly broke up.
Bratprincess- Hobnob cookies! And Faramir!
Lady LeBeau- I love you. Seriously. You're like, my new hero.
Jordan- Although I seriously doubt you'll read this since you didn't seem to be able to make it past the first chapter, I'd just like to point out that you spelled 'piece' wrong. I don't know what fanfictions you've been reading, but a lot of them are like that. Oh, and if you're the basis of what good writing should be, I'd rather not be a good writer.
*
The head elves were all gathered in the huge conference room of the New York office. This, however, was most definitely not your average meeting. Galadriel sat at the head of the table, and at the other end was Elrond- both were still quite sane. Celebrían had flown in from London and sat to the left of her husband, glaring at Thranduil who was eyeing him. Celeborn sat to Galadriel's right, playing footsies with Haldir, who sat on her left. Orophin was sitting beside his older brother, smacking him when the occasional misplaced sensual foot brushed up his leg. Rúmil sat on his other side, beside Legolas. Thranduil sat beside Celeborn, looking bored in his sex kitten way. Erestor was on his other side. Legolas was holding hands with Aragorn, who was beside him. Frodo, across from Legolas and beside Erestor, stared at them in horror, as did Sam. Even Gimli, on Sam's other side, looked shocked instead of his usual unfazed self. Elladan was sitting beside Aragorn, his head resting forlornly on the table. Glorfindel sat next to them, sharing a look with Elrohir across from him.
Thranduil drummed his fingers impatiently. "Why are we here?" he asked.
"We are here," Galadriel announced dramatically, "Because a great evil threatens to consume us all."
Celeborn rolled his eyes at Haldir, who grinned back rather seductively.
Erestor raised his hand tentatively. "I apologize my lady, but I don't see what the problem is."
"That's just because you're finally getting laid," Glorfindel growled.
Erestor was about to say more, but Thranduil's hand slipped under the table and instead his eyes widened, his mouth dropped open, and he half choked. Frodo backed away until he was practically in Sam's lap.
Legolas yawned, resting his head on Aragorn's shoulder. "Could we please get on with it? I'd like to go to bed." The way he spoke the word suggested anything but sleeping, and his other hand trailed over Aragorn's cheek.
Gimli stared at his friend in awe. "Are you sure that's Legolas?" he asked.
"That is, of course, our problem," Galadriel said. "This curse that afflicts us changes everything about us until we are twisted beyond recognition."
"I received a phone call from Galdor, in Paris, today," Glorfindel announced. "Things are falling apart there. While here it is only the 'main' elves falling under the spell, in Paris they've all been afflicted. They're behaving as most fanfiction authors believe everyday elves do. It's not pretty."
"And it's spreading day by day." Galadriel paled visibly. "Legolas, kindly stop screaming those thoughts. No matter how hard you try, Aragorn will not hear them and I can."
"Has anyone heard from Círdan?" Elrond asked.
"Nope. He's still sailing his 'cruise ship' down on the Caribbean. We haven't been able to get in touch," Rúmil answered.
"So the question is, how can we stop this," Elrohir decided.
"And is it only the elves and men," added Orophin. The sane ones all turned to look at Frodo, Sam and Gimli.
"I haven't felt anything odd or different," Frodo said. Sam and Gimli nodded their agreement.
"It may be you have a stronger resilience to it as well," Elrond offered.
"Alright, that's it!" Galadriel said suddenly. "Haldir, kindly remove your foot from my husband's crotch. And Thranduil, just take Erestor and sneak off already. You've been planning to do it for the past fifteen minutes, get on with it." She paused for a moment. "Legolas, you two leave as well. I really don't want to have to visualize that fantasy developed any further."
When they had left, Frodo sighed. "Is there no hope at all?"
Galadriel smiled at him kindly. "Not all hope is lost. We are doing all we can to find a means of correcting this."
"Aye, and what happens when everyone is caught up in this madness, and no one is left with any sense?" Gimli demanded. "Begging your pardon of course, my lady."
"Not everyone will be affected, "Celebrían spoke for the first time. They all turned to look at her. "From London we have been doing extensive research into fanfiction. With the exception of Paris, it is only the well- known elves being affected. Which leaves every other elf with, once again, the exception of Paris, to work hard against it. I am not well known at all, and in the few fanfictions where I do exist, I am more or less in character. You can be assured that I will not stand by and watch my family and friends fall apart around me."
The twins stood up on their chairs and began cheering.
"Go Mum!" Elladan yelled.
"Sit down," she told them. They did so, heads hanging like children.
"Yes, naneth."
"You see, Gimli, there is hope yet," Galadriel said.
"I have one last question," Elrond announced. "When's the last anyone heard from Gandalf?"
There was silence for a moment as everyone tried to remember.
"Didn't we see him in Ancient Egypt?" Rúmil asked Orophin.
"Yeah, and Greece too," his brother agreed.
"I think I saw him when I passed through the court of Richard V," Glorfindel mused.
"I remember seeing him in Germany about the time Elizabeth was on the throne," Haldir offered.
"Wasn't he friends with Marie Antoinette?" Celebrían asked.
Celeborn nodded. "And Ferdinand and Isabella."
"I saw him at the War of 1812," Frodo remembered.
"He helped the rebels in the French Revolution," Elladan said.
"And wasn't he friends with Queen Victoria?" Elrohir asked.
"Mmm..." a dazed expression came over Glorfindel's face. "I liked Victoria. I liked her a lot."
They stared at him for a moment before continuing.
"Wasn't he in the Civil War?" Sam questioned.
"The last I saw of Mithrandir was during the Russian Revolution," Galadriel spoke. The room grew quiet after that.
"No one has seen him since them?" Elrond asked. They all shook their heads, except Orophin who had gone suddenly white.
"Do you think Gandalf could help?" Rúmil asked. "Or could- Orophin, WHAT is the matter?"
Everyone's gaze was instantly drawn to the panic-stricken blond.
"Uh... nothing." Orophin desperately tried to avoid Rúmil's eyes.
Rúmil looked back at his brother. "No, out with it, come on!"
Celebrían looked up the table at the two brothers, guessing what was going on. She was about to warn them when she noticed that Rúmil had lost his inquisitive stance and was now looking rather flustered. Then his eyes closed as he moaned in pleasure and the meeting abruptly broke up.