My friends want me to go out with them tonight and I said I would so even though I feel like hibernating at home I'm going. It's just the guys tonight. They figured that since the anniversary of Jamie's death is coming up just they would take me out without their girlfriends hanging around. I mean they're my friends too but when they are together things just really remind me of the love Jamie and I shared. I can't live like that anymore so I've tried moving on but it hasn't happened yet and I have a hard time believing that I will ever really move on. How can I when the love of my life is dead and I still think of her everyday? It is just not possible. I will always miss Jamie and how sweet she was to everyone.
Knock…knock.
"Coming." I called from the hallway as I walked towards the door.
I opened the door and saw Jake, Matt and Steven standing there ready to go.
"Hey, guys." I said, "Come in for a sec and I'll be back."
"Sure." Jake said.
When I came back two minutes later we left and headed to the pool hall. The guys were all ready to have a blast and I was ready to fake the fun. I was not in the mood to be hanging with the guys. I wanted to be at home feeling sorry for myself.
"Hey, Carter! Snap out of it!" Matt called from the game of pool he was playing with Steven and Jake.
"Ya. You should join us, then we can play doubles." Jake said, "Me and you against these two."
"When you guys are done that game I will." I heard myself say.
"OK." Steven agreed, "You can't back out when we're done, dude."
"Wouldn't think of it." I said.
'Get a grip, Carter!' I told myself, 'Have fun with your friends. You know Jamie would want you to.'
The guys finished up their game then I joined them and after three games Steven and Matt gave up. Jake and I beat them every time.
"OK. You guys are good." Matt said.
'And I wasn't even trying. Interesting.' I thought.
"Landon and I rule at pool." Jake said.
"No, you and Tasha rule at pool." I said.
"We do but that's only because Tasha loves the game." Jake said.
"I thought we agreed no girlfriend talk." Matt said.
"We did." Steven said.
"It doesn't matter guys." I said, "One way or another you would've started to talk about them."
"You sure you're fine with it?" Jake asked.
"Yep." I replied.
"Well we'll go back to not talking about them. They know tonight was a no girlfriend night anyway." Matt said.
"Fine with me." Steven said, "Sara's mad at me anyway."
"You say something like that, Steve, and then we want to know why." I said.
"No idea why. She just is." Steven replied.
"Could it be because you told her that tonight was strictly a guy night?" Jake asked.
"Yah, probably. I'll ask her later." Steven said.
"You should." I said, "You guys are great together."
"Yes, but even a little problem seems to rip us apart." Steven said.
"You guys have always been on and off." Jake said, "Since high school."
"You've been together that long?" I asked.
You see, Matt, Jake and Steven have been friends since high school. I met them in college and Jake is also in medical school. He wants to be a pediatrician. Jake and Steven have been best friends since elementary school and they met Matt in junior high. Jake and Steven known Sara and Tasha since elementary school too. Matt and Kate met in college. The guys and I were talking when my cell phone rang. I answered it and was surprised to hear Eric on the other end.
"Hey, man." He said.
"Hey, Eric. How is the gang?" I asked since I hadn't seen them since graduation over four years ago.
"Great. Dean and Belinda were caught...Trish is mad at both of them now and Craig is doing great in law school." Eric replied, "How are you? Seriously?"
"How I always am." I replied cryptically because I couldn't really say with the guys around.
They know about Jamie but they don't know I was married to her because I can hardly talk about her.
"You're with Jake, Matt and Steven aren't you?" Eric asked.
"Yah." I replied.
"OK. I'll let ya go and talk to ya later then." Eric said.
"OK. Bye, Eric." I said.
"Bye, man." Eric said.
I hung up the cell and went back to talking with the guys about nothing much.
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