Um, I just thought I'd let everyone know that this may be the last chapter
for a while. I get my marks on Thursday, and they're significantly less
than amazing, so I may be grounded from the computer until summer. I'll do
everything I can to sneak on whenever I get the chance, but I can't promise
anything. Don't worry though. I'm still writing, don't give up on me!
*
Haldir walked into the twins' room and made himself comfortable.
"What do you want?" Elladan demanded.
"Traitor," Elrohir added.
"Aw, come on. It's not my fault," Haldir protested.
"So what are you doing here?" Elrohir asked. "Shouldn't you be somewhere sucking Celeborn off?" Elladan made a face.
"Oh, please. I'm not Legolas." The twins stared at him. "It's not that bad. I mean, apart from Legolas. Things get a bit kinky, but it's mostly the same as if I was dating some girl."
Elladan looked at him skeptically. "So you're not running around looking for the first sexual opportunity with a guy?"
"No."
"And you're not thinking icky thoughts about us?" Elrohir persisted. "Such as how to lure us into your bed?"
"No! You're still my friends."
"Oh, okay then." The twins sat down comfortably.
"So what's it like?" Elladan asked. Elrohir looked at him quickly. "I'm just curious."
"It's tiring," Haldir said. "And... weird. It's great, you know, when..."
"Okay, okay!" Elladan shouted. "Spare us the details. He's still our grandfather."
"But then, after, when you think about it, it feels wrong, but still right."
There was a knock on the door. Elrohir opened it. Legolas was standing there in a garter, thigh-high fishnets, and a corset-type top. He was holding a whip and handcuffs.
"Anybody bored?"
They all stared at him, for a moment too shocked to speak.
"Uh, no," Haldir finally stammered. "We're all fine here, thanks."
Legolas pouted. "Oh, I'm sure I could be of some use..." He walked over to Elladan, who was still sitting, straddled his lap and ravaged his mouth. There was an instant in time that seemed to drag on forever before he could react. Then he shoved Legolas out of his lap and jumped to his feet, looking as though he were going to cry. He stared at Legolas, who was pouting at him seductively, and ran into the bathroom. They could hear water running.
"I think you should go, now, please," Elrohir suggested.
Legolas turned his gaze to the other twin. "What about you? Are you bored?"
"No, I'm great. And hey, I hear Aragorn calling you."
Legolas gave Elrohir the same superior gaze that Thranduil often had. "I don't hear anything."
It was purely luck that Aragorn came running in, looking for Legolas at exactly that moment. "Oh, there you are. I uh, I have something for you." He enunciated his words carefully, licking his lips so that there would be no confusion as to what this something was.
Legolas looked immensely pleased. "You'll excuse us?" he said, rising to his feet.
Ignoring him, Elrohir looked at Aragorn. "What about Arwen?"
The man shrugged. "She's not here." He ran off down the hall, Legolas giggling after him. Elrohir sighed as he shut the door.
"Oh great," Haldir muttered. "It's a mini SKT."
"SKT?" Elrohir repeated, turning to look at him.
"Sex kitten Thranduil," Haldir explained. Elrohir started to laugh. At least Haldir was mostly normal.
Elladan came back into the room with a box of breath mints and a huge bottle of rum. "He gone?"
Haldir nodded, but Elrohir frowned. "I was saving that rum."
"For what?"
"You know... stuff."
"Too bad."
Elrohir was about to protest further, but they heard Celeborn's roaring voice in the hall. Curious as to what was going on, they went to look. Celeborn was stomping up the hall with Galadriel just behind him. "This is unbelievable!" he yelled.
"Celeborn, please lower your voice," Galadriel requested, remaining calm as ever.
"No I will not lower my voice," he replied. "Here I am trying to run a company, and I find out that my wife is shacking up with every female between here and Tokyo."
Galadriel rolled her eyes. "You've hardly been running a company. You've been too busy going off with Haldir to get off." She glanced at the former March Warden. "Apologies, Haldir."
"Accepted, my lady," he answered automatically.
Flustered, Celeborn sputtered for something to say. "Well... at least I've been monogamous about this whole mess!"
"And at least I've not let it effect my daily life," Galadriel retorted.
Celeborn took a deep breath. "Perhaps it would be better if we don't see each other until this whole mess is over."
"That's fine by me," Galadriel agreed.
"Fine."
"Fine." She started to walk back down the hall toward the elevators.
"Fine."
"Fine."
"Fine."
The esteemed Lady Galadriel waited until just before the elevator doors closed. "Fine."
"Damn." Celeborn hit the wall with his fist. Without invitation, he walked into the apartment, the twins and Haldir following. He seated himself on one of the chairs and reached up to pull Haldir onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around the slim waist, their foreheads pressing against each other.
The twins stood there, unsure of what to do. They did everything they could to avoid looking at them. They tried to say something multiple times, but would just end up looking at the other helplessly. Finally Elladan cleared his throat.
Haldir looked up. He kissed the top of Celeborn's head and ran his hands through his hair. "Come on," he said. "Let's go somewhere more private." Elladan looked sick. Celeborn nodded tiredly and they left. The twins collapsed on chairs, relieved to finally have peace.
Of course, nothing ever goes right for the twins.
A frantic pounding came at the door. "Let me in!" a small voice pleaded. Elladan did, and Frodo tumbled into the room. "Lock... door," the hobbit panted. Elladan did, and not a moment to soon.
"Mr. Frodo! Mr. Frodo, please let me in!"
"Sam's... chasing me," Frodo gasped. "Said... he wants to... have... kinky... hobbit sex."
*
Haldir walked into the twins' room and made himself comfortable.
"What do you want?" Elladan demanded.
"Traitor," Elrohir added.
"Aw, come on. It's not my fault," Haldir protested.
"So what are you doing here?" Elrohir asked. "Shouldn't you be somewhere sucking Celeborn off?" Elladan made a face.
"Oh, please. I'm not Legolas." The twins stared at him. "It's not that bad. I mean, apart from Legolas. Things get a bit kinky, but it's mostly the same as if I was dating some girl."
Elladan looked at him skeptically. "So you're not running around looking for the first sexual opportunity with a guy?"
"No."
"And you're not thinking icky thoughts about us?" Elrohir persisted. "Such as how to lure us into your bed?"
"No! You're still my friends."
"Oh, okay then." The twins sat down comfortably.
"So what's it like?" Elladan asked. Elrohir looked at him quickly. "I'm just curious."
"It's tiring," Haldir said. "And... weird. It's great, you know, when..."
"Okay, okay!" Elladan shouted. "Spare us the details. He's still our grandfather."
"But then, after, when you think about it, it feels wrong, but still right."
There was a knock on the door. Elrohir opened it. Legolas was standing there in a garter, thigh-high fishnets, and a corset-type top. He was holding a whip and handcuffs.
"Anybody bored?"
They all stared at him, for a moment too shocked to speak.
"Uh, no," Haldir finally stammered. "We're all fine here, thanks."
Legolas pouted. "Oh, I'm sure I could be of some use..." He walked over to Elladan, who was still sitting, straddled his lap and ravaged his mouth. There was an instant in time that seemed to drag on forever before he could react. Then he shoved Legolas out of his lap and jumped to his feet, looking as though he were going to cry. He stared at Legolas, who was pouting at him seductively, and ran into the bathroom. They could hear water running.
"I think you should go, now, please," Elrohir suggested.
Legolas turned his gaze to the other twin. "What about you? Are you bored?"
"No, I'm great. And hey, I hear Aragorn calling you."
Legolas gave Elrohir the same superior gaze that Thranduil often had. "I don't hear anything."
It was purely luck that Aragorn came running in, looking for Legolas at exactly that moment. "Oh, there you are. I uh, I have something for you." He enunciated his words carefully, licking his lips so that there would be no confusion as to what this something was.
Legolas looked immensely pleased. "You'll excuse us?" he said, rising to his feet.
Ignoring him, Elrohir looked at Aragorn. "What about Arwen?"
The man shrugged. "She's not here." He ran off down the hall, Legolas giggling after him. Elrohir sighed as he shut the door.
"Oh great," Haldir muttered. "It's a mini SKT."
"SKT?" Elrohir repeated, turning to look at him.
"Sex kitten Thranduil," Haldir explained. Elrohir started to laugh. At least Haldir was mostly normal.
Elladan came back into the room with a box of breath mints and a huge bottle of rum. "He gone?"
Haldir nodded, but Elrohir frowned. "I was saving that rum."
"For what?"
"You know... stuff."
"Too bad."
Elrohir was about to protest further, but they heard Celeborn's roaring voice in the hall. Curious as to what was going on, they went to look. Celeborn was stomping up the hall with Galadriel just behind him. "This is unbelievable!" he yelled.
"Celeborn, please lower your voice," Galadriel requested, remaining calm as ever.
"No I will not lower my voice," he replied. "Here I am trying to run a company, and I find out that my wife is shacking up with every female between here and Tokyo."
Galadriel rolled her eyes. "You've hardly been running a company. You've been too busy going off with Haldir to get off." She glanced at the former March Warden. "Apologies, Haldir."
"Accepted, my lady," he answered automatically.
Flustered, Celeborn sputtered for something to say. "Well... at least I've been monogamous about this whole mess!"
"And at least I've not let it effect my daily life," Galadriel retorted.
Celeborn took a deep breath. "Perhaps it would be better if we don't see each other until this whole mess is over."
"That's fine by me," Galadriel agreed.
"Fine."
"Fine." She started to walk back down the hall toward the elevators.
"Fine."
"Fine."
"Fine."
The esteemed Lady Galadriel waited until just before the elevator doors closed. "Fine."
"Damn." Celeborn hit the wall with his fist. Without invitation, he walked into the apartment, the twins and Haldir following. He seated himself on one of the chairs and reached up to pull Haldir onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around the slim waist, their foreheads pressing against each other.
The twins stood there, unsure of what to do. They did everything they could to avoid looking at them. They tried to say something multiple times, but would just end up looking at the other helplessly. Finally Elladan cleared his throat.
Haldir looked up. He kissed the top of Celeborn's head and ran his hands through his hair. "Come on," he said. "Let's go somewhere more private." Elladan looked sick. Celeborn nodded tiredly and they left. The twins collapsed on chairs, relieved to finally have peace.
Of course, nothing ever goes right for the twins.
A frantic pounding came at the door. "Let me in!" a small voice pleaded. Elladan did, and Frodo tumbled into the room. "Lock... door," the hobbit panted. Elladan did, and not a moment to soon.
"Mr. Frodo! Mr. Frodo, please let me in!"
"Sam's... chasing me," Frodo gasped. "Said... he wants to... have... kinky... hobbit sex."