Disclaimer: Don't own anyone you recognise.

Summery: Kira loses someone dear to her...

Goodbye

I see the look on my dad's face as he enters my room and I know something's happened, "Sit down Kira, I have some bad news," he says. "Your Grandad died last night."

I sit down. This isn't happening. This can't be real. I mean, I knew my Grandad was in hospital, but he was fine. They weren't worried.

"It was a heart-attack," Dad carries on. "He didn't suffer. They tried for an hour to resuscitate him but they couldn't bring him back." He says it so simply, just facts.

Mum and Dad had gone to see him yesterday, while I had gone out with Conner and Ethan instead. I was going to see him on Monday. Not anymore. I hate myself right now; I should have gone to see him. I should have.

"You're going to have to be brave for Mum and Granny," Dad says without emotion. It wasn't his dad that died, or his grandad.

We go to Granny's and the family is there. My Mum and Aunt are in tears, and I've never seen my Uncle cry. I've never seen a man cry like that. It's so surreal, so sudden. We're all in shock. I can't do much, but I don't cry, not in front of them. I have to be brave.

I go home that evening and just go to bed. School tomorrow – what am I going to wear? What is Dr. O going to say, I didn't do his homework. It doesn't seem to matter anymore – nothing seems to matter anymore. My Grandad is dead. I curl up into a ball under my duvet and cry myself to sleep.

School isn't much better. Everyone is kind, polite. But I can't stand it – I run out of Dr. O's class. I just have to get away. It's not fair. Grandad hadn't finished living yet. And he'd promised me he'd take me out next weekend. How could he break that promise?

I can't sleep. I try to picture him, what he looked like, how he would smile at me, how proud he was when I got good school grades… But I can't. I can't remember his face. I only saw him last week, why can't I remember? The next few days pass in a daze. I try to focus on school and work, but nothing seems to matter any more. I don't cry, I can't. It's like I'm numb.

The funeral is solemn. Grandad had lots of friends; he was always happy and cheerful. My Mum had played a joke on him the day before he… She'd pretended to eat all his grapes, and then had given him a new bag. Last time I saw him I got frustrated trying to explain to him how to use MSN Messenger. He never did figure out how to use it. He also wouldn't shut up while we were trying to watch a film, kept making comments about it. I wouldn't mind now. We bought him a book to read while he was in hospital. I hold it now – he never got to read it. I know he would have loved it.

I can't imagine life without him. He's been there my whole life – every important moment. And now he's never going to see me go to Uni, or get married, or have children. He used to tease me about having a boyfriend, but he's never going to meet a single one. I always thought he was going to be here forever, but he's gone. A hole in my heart. I miss him so much. I want this pain to go away.

As they carry the coffin away, hot tears flow down my cheeks. My make-up's ruined. I don't know why I thought that. It's stupid, it's all stupid. The tears keep coming. Someone puts their arm around me: Conner. I just let him hold me as I sob.

The tears are my goodbye. I will always love you Grandad. You were everything to me; I can never forget you. Thank you for everything, for most of all being a part of my life.

Goodbye…

This story is dedicated to George Dawson (24 December 1934 - 18 September 2005) – the best Grandad a girl could have ever wished for. I hope you knew how much you mean to me. Missing you more each day, all my love, Charlotte.