A/N: I guess I should apologize for keeping you waiting so long after that little teaser I posted. The truth is I meant this to be up two weeks ago but a bunch of crazy stuff happened at work and I was quite distracted for a while… damn real life getting in the way of things… anyways this chapter is quite different from the others, mainly do to it being from Christine's perception. I should also note that she will probably seem out of character here, this is vampire Christine speaking without Erik grounding her as I'm sure you'll notice.

This is also the chapter that I was worried about turning the story into an R rating but everything seemed to flow, telling what I wanted it too, without even coming close to that line… I'm not sure if this is a good thing as it means I'm growing soft, shall have to remedy that in the future.

Christine sat nervously before Erik, vainly attempting to calm her thoughts. When she looked up, she saw the man leaning against the adjacent wall, his arms stiffly crossed over his chest.

"Catherine… she…" The girl paused, unsure of how to continue. "The woman was just so," she made an odd gesture with her hand and then slumped in defeat, taking a deep breath.

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, the words began to flow from her mouth, words of truth, uncensored, and un-weighed.

"What you have to understand Erik, is that above all else, I was lonely. Yes I had Raoul but it just wasn't the same with him, despite all he had done for me I knew I was not an equal and therefore I was alone. And then she came from nowhere at all, I knew nothing of her but she came to me, knowing me, as if she knew me my whole life.

"She took me under her wing, protected me, became my constant companion, became everything I needed to survive and because of this, she gave me strength. I was no longer timid and could stand on my own in a room full of enemies, those ladies of society who would never dream of welcoming a penniless opera whore into their graces.

"But all things come with a price you see. She knew I was beginning to doubt my place with Raoul, not that I didn't love him. Oh no, I loved him too much you see. I saw the sacrifice he was making to allow me to become his wife. I saw him turn his back on family, friends, and what even seemed a continued legacy just to allow me to stand at his side.

"Catherine saw this right away and told me so, made it perfectly clear that such behavior was rare and she began advising me. It's not that she told me Raoul would leave me, oh no, she praised the dear boy for his chivalry and continued to set him on an ever higher pedestal, a pedestal I knew to be false. I knew he was not such a perfect savior for me. So as she praised, I saw the flaws and they became ever the more apparent.

"This continued for some time and I soon found my life revolving around hers. She had such an incredible personality; such freedom and passion flowed through her veins. She could do anything, anything at all, and we could do them together. Never had I felt such freedom, such life! It was beyond words. Her very presence intoxicated me.

"And then the evening came when she introduced me to her kin, others like her, who accepted me at first welcome, who had been told of and expected me. It was a party of sorts and later I learned it was when she first gave me a taste of her world. I don't really know what happened to me, the entire night was like a dream.

"It was strange, after that. I felt connected to her somehow, it wasn't the same as before, but I couldn't leave her. I grew ever more distant to those around me, breaking what small ties I had to those in my acquaintance and bushing Raoul ever the farther away, though in my mind it seemed as though it were everyone breaking with me.

"She introduced me more properly to her friends who were always about in her home. They seemed to share Catherine's odd, spirited lust for life and all the worldly pleasure they could consume. I admit I was intimidated by their vivacity but Catherine shielded me from much of their eccentricities. Her friend Aiden had also taken to conversing with me when Catherine was unavailable.

"He was… well I suppose I should tell you of our first real meeting for you to understand his presence."

Christine paused to search the mans eyes, looking for a reaction for she had divulged but none came. Breathing deeply, she continued.

"I had arrived just after noon to meet with Catherine. He opened the door and announced that Catherine was seeing to an urgent matter at present and that I should wait for her in the east parlor. He left me then to tend to myself as I made my way there. By that time I should say, I was accustomed to going about the house and knew my way.

"After sitting for a few minutes, Aiden appeared carrying a tray of refreshments with tea and sat them down before me. I thanked him, to which he merely nodded with the slightest smile before sitting himself down in the chair opposite me. His eyes locked with mine as he fixed me with the most… encompassing stare—as though his eyes were alight with fire yet they were, as always, stone cold and unresponsive. It made me shiver and I looked away.

"'I've been meaning to speak to you for some time now, Christine." His voice was soft yet hollow. I'm not sure if he meant to be gentle or unnerving but the latter was the result. I turned my eyes back to his and gestured for him to continue, though I'm sure he could see I was unsettled. My exposure to him up to that point had been quite limited; I should mention too that he and Catherine seemed to be the ones holding court over the others in the house. An odd term, I know, but you will understand as I continue.

"'Catherine has become quite attached to you, as I'm sure you are aware.' He seemed to weigh each word carefully on his tongue before proceeding. 'Though I know it will not always appear so, there is quite a bit of history between us, Catherine is my friend, as statement I do not make lightly. It is because of this I feel it necessary to advice you to precede with caution, for your sake as much as hers. She is not a woman of halves, Christine, she will not settle for anything less. So take this as a clear warning, you will soon be given a choice of which there is no turning back, be sure to think carefully before making that choice and do not think only of yourself.'

"And he left me with that. When Catherine did arrive, I told her of his odd behavior though she brushed it off as Aiden being overly sentimental. I wanted to push to find out what she meant by that but I thought it best not too."

Here Christine took a pause, obviously shivering from the memory yet Erik remained still, waiting for the girl to find voice to continue. She seemed to be struggling to find her next words.

"The choice was given to me later that week… it's hard to describe what it was I was thinking, or rather the was I was at that time. I suppose I should just state facts rather than try to justify myself. Looking back there truly isn't anyway I could justify myself that would make sense to any sane being. But as it was, I didn't trust Raoul to stay by my side as a loving husband, I didn't believe my marriage to Raoul would remain so once he grew older and out of his youthful ideals of love and marriage."

Christine shook he head with closed eyes. "I thought I was being noble, that I was making a sacrifice for his happiness. Pathetic really. Little, selfish, Christine, who'd done nothing but take and take from the men in her life… Little Lotte who wanted to be good and hear the angel of music in her head… what did I do in return but take? Well here I though, here was the opportunity to prove just how much I loved him, that I would put his happiness, his future above mine!"

The girl made a snorting sort of noise as Erik saw her eye take on a glossy appearance.

"I knew he would suffer when I first left, but I told myself it was for the best… but then, once I had left that… place… I ran straight to him, as though he could protect me. My selfish need for another to take care of me, to tell me in which direction I should run, placed him directly in Catherine's path of me. She disposed of him as though he were nothing, less than human, a tool to prove a point. And it was I that made him so!"

Tears streamed down her pallid cheeks. Erik noticed that she made no effort to brush them away or hide them. She didn't want to hide them; to hide them would be to deny their reason. The man shifted, making her aware of his presence so that she wasn't lost in her own guilt.

She smiled wryly up at him. "I suppose what you're interested in is what happened then, why I would accept this-- half life," she practically spat the words. "Well it's very simple see. I believed Raoul would leave me and that he would be better off with out me. Catherine introduced me to a life free of constraints where passion ran wild."

She paused and leaned back slightly, taking on a sardonic aurora mixed with bitter contempt. "You know me, Erik. Perhaps better than Raoul ever could. You know what raptures can over take me when my passions are released. Most would think of passion and raptures as expressions of physical love, but neither of us has ever been so, base, in our expressions to one another… Catherine and her world were the same. It was beyond the physical, beyond even music; the sound it spoke of was untouched by human fallibilities. It was pure. It was natural beyond animalistic. It was base in its primal need yet spiritually enlightened in its quest. It was freedom untouched by societies ethics and it spoke to me in a language of music that only the wolves howl."

If Erik was at all concerned by this declaration, he made no show of it yet the tears, which were formally in his loves eyes seemed to have vanished completely. Instead that wry smile was back in place yet her eyes were distant and her breathing excited.

"So when she told me her nature, what she was, what her people were, I said yes! At first, of course I didn't believe, but she made me believe. She made me see what exactly she was and I wanted it! And there I confess my sin. I knew! I watched her take life without remorse and even seeing such horrors I still wanted it! I believed it to be me! How could I not? Her world spoke to me so-- it's passion! It's instinct! It encompassed what I was at heart, freedom and passion uncensored, life unknown to those too blind, those too weak and frightened to seize it! How could I be true to myself and not take it? I was a fool so blinded by the devil's temptations to see the damned before my eyes.

"The night she took me, I dressed in a white shift. The others in the house watched as I climbed the stairs to her rooms, Catherine trailing mournfully behind me. I sat on her white linen bed, listening ominously as the door closed behind me. 'I give you one last chance Christine, to turn back, to leave what through me you have come to know. Think carefully because there is no turning back.' As though at that point I could think of such a thing. Her manipulation had been so complete, so precise; I was nothing but a puppet to her. I shook my head at her and look up into her impassive face as she stood before me. Her emotions almost seemed sad if I did not know any better while she looked into my wide eyes. She was dressed in white as well though it was hardly a shift. She wore a gown of white silk, well not really a gown; it had no petty coat or under garments but its intricacies was nonetheless apparent. I suppose for her it was a sort of wedding gown in a way… as she took her virgin to the marriage bed." Christine bit off the words with a sneer but made no pause in her story.

"'Please' was all I could managed to choke out as she looked at me with such haunting green eyes. And with that, she bent down with those succulent crimson stained lips and took mine in hers. She pressed on until I found myself lying back against the bed and her face above my own. 'I don't mean to hurt you,' she said before letting her hand trail from my cheek to caressing my neck. Her other had lightly turned my head away before hers lowered and I felt the to slightest pinpricks trail from an open mouth from my jaw bone down my throat."

Christine smiled slightly. "She pushed with the lightest touch, only barely breaking the skin. I remember gasping as her tongue touched my throat, tasting my bloodied skin. Her lips trailed lower and brushed against my collarbone before pressing down against my chest. Again my skin broke and she lapped from my wound. This strange homage of blood continued over my flesh, she would move her mouth to a yet untainted portion of my body and press her demon fangs into me, letting me bleed, and tasting me, until that white shift and those delicate sheets were spotted, stained, and clogged with my life's red essence.

"At some point I remember tasting her own blood, from her arm, chest, mouth and other places I'm sure. It was all a haze you see… I can't help but smile at the memory though. It was so… fantastic, for lack of a better word, dreams, prayer, love, could not touch what I touched that night even if it was called forth from the devils bosom."

The girl sighed though whether it was in remorse or revel Erik could not tell. "At some point I passed out. When I awoke, I was alone on sheets coated in stale blood, my shift ripped and barely covering my stained body. In a wave, just as the putrid stench of my own essence assaulted my nose, I realized the gravity of what I had done, of what madness had taken over me the night before. Too week to scream, instead I cried, trying to clean my body with my hands. I scratched at the flaking blood that still clung to me. Desperately I ran my nails down my arms, scoring harsh lines, that it's a wonder I didn't break my skin once more in my futile effort to cleanse soul.

"It was in this state that Catherine found me. No longer was she dressed in that mockery of a wedding gown but a simple dress. I stopped moving as soon as she entered and eyed her with suspicion but she only sighed and looked to the curtained window. She spoke no word as she approached and I could do nothing but whimper. I made a slight effort to stand but my strength was all but gone.

"'Rest child,' was all she whispered as she laid a cold hand against my forehead. A wave of dizziness over took me then and I fell back into my pillows. She came and stood looking down to me with that damned smile. A pitiful excuse for a smile, only a half smile with no triumph or accomplishment. I tell you Erik; she looked afraid, as though she had any right to appear so! I wanted to slap her, if my arm had the strength but instead I just lay there trying to keep focused.

"And then with no effort at all, she lifted me in her arms and carried me into a lavish bathroom where a marble bath, filled scented water awaited. Carefully she lowered me into its depths before pealing away that tattered rag I had been wearing. I could do nothing but sit there, the heat taking away the remainder of my strength while she left with the bloodied mess of fabric.

"She returned shortly to my side and began to wash me in a manner which reminded me of my own mother when I was still a child. Never speaking a word, she scrubbed at my tangled locks and pale skin, washing away all traces of the night before. And as I sat there in that strange remembrance, a mocking imitation of family lost, I cried."

Please R&R

I'm curious as to how the view change comes out.