Mind's Eye - Part 15
Parker sat in her living room with a fresh drink, watching the flames in the fireplace dance in the darkness. She had taken the remainder of the week off once she was sure that Broots had successfully locked or erased all the data pertaining to Black Arrow. She also made sure Raines was doing as she ordered by calling off the search for the children who were now trying to live normal adult lives. She saw directives from him, ordering the end of the project and everything associated with it. He had declared it a failure, exonerating himself in the eyes of the Triumvirate. To be sure, she had Broots verify everything she saw to make sure it was legitimate and not a forged attempt to pacify her conditions. It was a bittersweet victory, for she would have loved nothing more than to fry Raines until he was nothing more than a pile of cinders. That was not going to happen, though, because she had chosen to protect people she did not know over attaining revenge or stepping up her status in the Centre.
Her body still ached, but she awoke that morning more mobile than in previous days. She would have had a difficult time explaining what had happened if Thomas had still been at her side. He would have wanted to protect her, to hold her in his arms and keep her safe from what it was he was not permitted to see or know. He would have insisted on taking her away from her secret life and making her his own for the rest of their lives. The melancholy feeling inside her turned to anguish as she thought of him, of his face and the smile that melted her to the core. She longed for his embrace so that she would not feel afraid anymore of the things she could not control.
Parker's eyes moistened with tears, but she held them at bay, even in the privacy of her home. She had to maintain control, which was important - especially now, when she was most vulnerable to deposal.
The scotch burned as it went down, and she welcomed the lithe feeling of slight intoxication. To her left, on the end table, was the picture of her mother. She had transferred it from the bedroom to the living room the day before with the intention of adding it to the collection of photographs and mementos special to her. She looked at it intently, studying the dent from the bullet in the frame - the bullet that had nearly killed her. The glow of the fire bounced off the awkward creases and bumps in the metal, creating a rippling effect of colors that were never still.
Her mind raced back to the events at Prime Hook. She tallied the results of the whole ordeal in her head. Neil Case, it turned out, would pull through with time. He would lead a normal life once he healed. She doubted he even comprehended the circle of conspiracy surrounding his near-death at the park where he worked.
Peter Stoltz was left with a stump on his leg where his foot used to be. The trap had done too much damage to salvage the ankle. The bones had been splintered so badly that not even surgical screws would hold them in place. As she had demanded, a directive was sent forth to deactivate Stoltz and his assassination program. He would most likely live out the rest of his life confined in a maximum-security mental institution for the attempted murder of Neil Case.
The phone rang with a steady chirp. She picked it up. "What?" she said quietly.
There was a beat of silence on the other end, then, "Miss Parker, I was calling to see how you were feeling."
It was Jarod. She ran a hand through her hair in disquiet. He had a knack for calling at the wrong time. "I'm feeling like I really don't want to have a conversation with you."
"I know you're tired, and I know you hurt," he said gently, intimating something more than her physical condition, "but unlike bruises, heartache doesn't go away so quickly. You can't bandage the pain."
He was so in tune with what she was feeling that it startled her. It was like he had been in her mind. Still, she had to reassert her mission against him. "It doesn't matter what I feel, Jarod. I still have a job to do, and that is to find you wherever you're hiding."
"You can keep telling yourself that all you want, but until you believe you're worth more than what the Centre says you are, you'll never find peace over Thomas or your mother." She was going to rebut him, but he continued with, "Despite the spin you're trying to put on it, you helped people you didn't even know."
She rubbed at her eyes with two fingers and laughed. "Don't flatter yourself, Smokey. It was coincidental that the picture you left in my house and Lyle's agenda happened to be similar."
"I don't believe that," he contradicted. "I think you saw something so wrong that you wanted to make it right. Your mother tried to do the same all those years ago. You're more like her than you're willing to admit."
Parker leaned her head against a pillow on the couch. She had come to learn there was nothing to be lost by talking to Jarod. He had yet to hold what she said privately to him over her head or use it against her. There was an undeniable trust she felt with him, one that superceded the task she had been given by the Centre. It was stronger than anything she had felt of late.
She picked up the picture and looked at it for what felt like the millionth time that week. "I miss her so much, Jarod. And I miss Thomas," she told him, her voice faltering as she said the words.
"I know," he comforted, though there was something so neutral in his voice that allowed her to believe he was keeping his distance so as not to put her on her guard. "That's how I know the heart inside you is stronger now more than ever, no matter what the Centre tries to tell you. The pain you feel will make you stronger and help you find who you really are."
She said nothing in return. Parker simply looked for wisdom in her mother's eyes once more. There was always something there, but it seemed to be just out of reach to Parker. Perhaps she had grasped just a small part of it in the deep backwoods of Prime Hook. Jarod was right, she allowed. She had gone there to protect Neil Case and the children and to fulfill a promise. She had not put herself in harm's way to appease Lyle or Raines. It was because it was the right thing to do.
"I do know one thing for certain, Miss Parker."
"What's that, Jarod?" she asked as she pulled the picture tightly against her in an embrace. She had no more energy to dodge him. Indeed, she could find no basis on which to argue what he was saying.
"Your mother," he said, "would have been proud."
END OF MIND'S EYE