Kakashi lifted the glass swallowing the harsh liquid. 'Sakura had her first kill ', he said slowly to no one in particular. Both Asuma and Genma looked up sharply. Genma was the first to speak, "You know she is a lot older than any of us were. Still, it's rough. Is she OK?"

"I'm not sure. I don't think she knew he was there til the kunai was at her throat and she just reacted. She didn't say anything afterwards. I saw her earlier at the memorial but when she felt me there she left. I don't think she is ready to talk about it and to be honest I'm not sure I want to talk to her about it." Both Genma and Asuma nodded at that and the conversation moved on to other, more comfortable things...weapons, recent missions and such. Each of them knew the affects of that first kill and none of them wanted to reopen that wound that would never quite heal, that first real loss of innocence. The moment when the reality of death as their ever present shadow finally hit home. No matter how many times you are told, no matter how many times you recite the hundred rules, you never really believe, never really understand until the reality hits you full force in the head, the stomach...the heart. That moment changes you, you die a little and it hurts a lot.

Sakura walked up to the door, knocking gently and almost hoping it would go unanswered. The door opened and Ino appeared. "Hello Sakura."

"I had my first kill." She looked at the floor as she said it then glanced quickly up at Ino to see the look of concern spread across her friend's face.

"Was it bad?", she said watching Sakura closely.

"I didn't know it would feel like this. I watched him die. It's funny, as he died I could see the flash of realization when he knew he was going to die. Then there was the blood and he was gone. I really don't want to talk much about it but I don't want to be alone either."

"Wait there.." . Ino ran into the house grabbed a bottle of sake from her parents cupboard and then dashed quickly out the door with her friend. "Come on lets go for a walk."

Sakura followed Ino walking slowly, neither one talking. It was late afternoon and the sun was going down. They walked out of the village down the path til they reached a small pond. Ino sunk down to the ground at the edge of the pond and pulled out the bottle. She opened it and held it out to Sakura who had slid down to the ground next to her. "Sorry, no glasses." Sakura took the bottle and looked at it, smiling slightly. She had tasted sake before but had never really drank it. 'What the hell', she thought. Sakura took her first swallow, coughing slightly but finding it not all together unpleasant. She handed the bottle back to Ino who took a small sip and passed it immediately back.

"I really don't know what to say and I'm not sure that anything will make it better but I'll listen if you want to talk about it." Ino looked at her friend.

Sakura took another long sip, sitting there quietly. After a few minutes she shook her head and said, "No, there really isn't anything to say." Then after a long pause, "Do you ever think about the things you've never done that you want to do? I have spent so much time chasing Sasuke, wanting him to love me but I think that is just a waste of time and right now I'm not even sure I want that any more. " She stared off across the pond. "It could have just have as easily been me that died. It was so quick and then he was dead. I wonder what things he never had a chance to do."

Sakura and Ino sat there passing the bottle back and forth til it was empty. The sky had grown quite dark and Sakura was beginning to feel a bit restless. "Thanks Ino, I think I'm going to head back to town." Sakura climbed back to her feet, a bit surprised and the slight unsteadiness she felt. She laughed quietly...'"Oh yeah, the sake." She started walking back towards the village ahead. Ino silently followed. Ino glanced at her friend as they reached the village streets and said a quick good night.

Genma, mission completed and paperwork filed headed towards his favorite bar. It was still a bit early but he figured he could get started while he waited for the regulars to drift in as the night wore on. He entered the dark room, looking slowly around for a familiar face. His eyes stopped when he saw her sitting there, thinking. "She is way too young to be in here." He remember the conversation with Kakashi earlier. Sakura glanced up as the jounin slid onto the stool next to her. "Hello Sakura", he said softly. "You seem a bit out of place here."

Sakura glanced up, looking at the handsome jounin. She had seen him around before but never noticed how beautiful he was. She wondered if that was the sake and realized that she didn't care. She knew she wanted him. The events of the last few days had made it evident to her that the future was a luxury not often granted to shinobi. She stood up, moving closer to the jounin, "Buy me a sake?".

Genma had approached Sakura to give her a shoulder to lean on if she needed it. He was not expecting her to be hitting on him. She was hitting on him, wasn't she? Buy her a drink? That is just crazy, she isn't even 16, is she..?

She sank back onto her stool and began talking quietly without looking up. "In his eyes, I could see he knew it was over. He was maybe a year older than me. I don't want to die like that with so many things I've never done. Please don't look at me as a child. In this world, we don't have the luxury of growing up over time it happens all at once suddenly. In that instant he realized that his life was over. In that same instant my childhood ended. I don't have time to wait for a future I may never see. Right now I would really like to have a drink with you. "

Genma waved to the bartender, ordering a bottle of sake and two glasses. The bartender stared at the two briefly, raising one eyebrow then turning to fetch the requested bottle and glasses.

To be continued...please review.