When last we left our hero...
"Oh, good, you're awake."
Martial Master's muddled mind began to clear, and found himself tied up, standing behind the teller window that read 'Express Line', "What's this?"
"Heh, heh, heh, you feel for plan of attack #62 of my patented 'Dealing with costumed Do-gooders' protocols," Ice Queen said triumphantly. "Now, I shall reveal my sinister plans for you..."
"Wha-what are you planning to do?" Martial Master swallowed dryly, fearing for himself.
"As you can see, I have you tied to the Express teller window, and I will leave you there all day to assist with payday deposits!"
"YOU'RE INSANE!" our hero exclaimed, fighting against his bonds futilely.
"Soon, the waves of patrons of my bank will slowly drive the sanity from you, doing away with you for good!" The villianess checked her gold pocketwatch that had emeralds lined up in the shape of a Yen symbol on it, "Girls, I'm feeling generous today. Let's open fourty seconds early!"
Two of the henchgirls nodded, and unlocked the doors to allow in the ocean of awaitng citizens...
____________________________
Ranma; PROTECTER OF NERIMA!
Episode 5
'Dire Discovery!'
The clock on the wall of the bank slowly ticked to ten A.M., and then to eleven. Eventually, the hours became a the blend that only those forced to suffer customer service could only experience.
The patrons came in droves, anxious to get in and out with their business done, yet never sufficently prepared as one would suspect a person who approaches the express line should be. The excuses given with false smiles, the faked politeness that was grated with apparent irritation was the nicest one who served in the position that is known throught all public services and businesses as the sanity corroder, the rest gave no such contempt. Their way was just, their way was precious, their way was *always* right, for they were the customer.
Such a barrage was not meant for any do-gooder to handle. How would our hero cope with the dramatic pressures presented to even his formidable psyche? Could the Martial Master survive such an ordeal without becoming a jabbering idiot or a fiend of the firearms?
The Ice Queen smiled triumphantly; the bank had been so packed today, she decided to allow it to stay open one more hour. He had instructed all her henchgirls that the more difficult transactions and inquiries be directed to the express line, well intending the overload towards her newest 'employee' to finish the thorn in her side off for good.
The arch-villianess strode confidantly into the main room, as her henchgirls closed up for the evening, "Exellent," She said with a hiss that had the tone of a smirk in it, "Let us now see how the Martial Moron faired."
The Ice Queen laughed, as her girls dragged a drooling and babbling Martial Master in their arms. He would be no trouble at all for her and her plans now.
"Ahh, the once great Martial Master..." the nefarious woman cooed, holding up the chin of her enemy with one hand, "To think I had concerns that you could foil my great plot."
The pigtailed crusader looked at her with unfocused eyes, that suddenly grew intelligent, and smirked, "You bank heisting days are over, Ice Queen!"
The villiness stepped back and gasped, as the Martial Master threw the girls holding him up to the sides. "HOW!" She demanded, her heinous and devious trap was flawless, there was no way he could have survived working overtime in a bank, commanding the expressline aline, on payday!
Martial Master's smirk grew wider. "Simple," he started in a haughty 'it-was-ever-so-logical' tone, "I had the foresight to coat my stomach in sour milk..."
The Ice Queen and her henchgirls looked at each other with blank expressions... "Come again?"
"I coated my stomach in sour milk, for I knew that you would have a heinous and devious trap set for me. As I was incapacitated by you, my stomach became... unsettled. And as it did, I became uncomfortable. And as you well know, that anyone in customer service when they become agitated, will return the attitudes of patrons without remorse."
"Clever," the Ice Queen commented, "Thus, you irritated them enough so that they quickly would finish their business with as little fuss as possible" The villiness brought pointed defiantly at her enemy. But, that shall not save you this time, GET HIM!" The Ice Queen commanded her remaining eight henchgirls.
"[POW! POW!]" Martial Master delivered a dual kick to two agressing henchgirls.
"[ZIST, BOOM, BA!]" A crescent kick subdued three oncoming girls holding swords with hilts shaped like yen signs.
"[Now how about them digits?]" Martial Mastter's sign asked, while he had his arm around a coy acting girl, while he ax kicked another one in the chin.
"[Beeedowwww]" the final henchgirl was subdued in a manner this narrator would not like to discuss in polite company, though it was done in a rather courteous and gentlemenly fashion.
"ARRRRRRRR, CURSES!" Ice Queen cursed, and attempted to run. Martial Master deftly landed in front of her, and reeled back his fist...
"NO!!!" Suddenly, the young woman began to sob in dismay, "Y-y-you wa-wouldn't hit a-a young g-girl... would you?"
Martial Master looked around the room at the fallen henchgirls, and then scratched the back of his head nervously, "Heh, uh, I guess that wouldn't be right and all, um, would it?"
The Ice Queen's smirk returned, "So, we have a stalemate then, you cannot hit me, therefore, subdue me. It appears your only choice is to let me go!"
Our hero's face scrunched up tightly at the declaration, "Damn, I shouldn't have had so much lettuce and cheese in my all you can eat salad buffet!" He exclaimed, "You're right! I... I..." Martial Master pulled his fist back again, and punched forward. The Ice Queen gasped, but the smiled in victory when the fist stopped inches from her nose.
Martial Master pouted a bit, and then he too smiled in victory. He grabbed the villianess's right hand with his left, and held her arm straight out in front of her. Then, in a brilliant maneuver crossed his right forearm over her bicep near the elbow.
"What the Hell are you..." Ice Queen commanded, before a fist to the face silenced her.
"Why you hitt'n yourself? Why you hitt'n yourself?" Martial Master chanted, as he kept forcing the Ice Queen's arm to bend and strike herself in the face until she fell unconcious.
____________________________
"Really, now," the Mayor of Nerima began, "Do you not think that there is a more appropriate place to put this... refuge of society?"
"Dear Mayor," Martial Master replied, "It matters not where we lay our trash. Wether it be in the proper waste receptical, or on the lush grass of our fair parks, it is only important that we stand ever vigilant against their dastardly plots! Plus, that I will collect my wages from today from Ice Queen later."
"Well said, well said," the Mayor of Nerima congradulated, and then turned to find Martial Master dissappeared, "Huh? Where did he go?" He didn't seem to notice half the crowd gathered was pointing at a nearby consession stand.
"Hey, do you use real Japanese beef and pork in your frankfurters?" Crimefighting was hungry business, you know?
That day, the zoo's business picked up exponentially, supported by the mass exodus of teenage males that had come to see Nerima Zoo's newest exibit. The crowd of boys gawked openly and happily, at least until the inhabitants of the cage began to hurl their defication at them in irritation.
____________________________
::A CHORUS OF MARTIAL MASTER INSIGNIAS RIVERDANCE ACROSS THE SCREEN TO SIGNIFY A SCENE CHANGE::
____________________________
"Well, Ranma" Akane asked, seeming to read the magazine, "How has your day been?"
The pigtailed boy lay on the floor, exhausted from his earlier ordeals, "Eh, it's been slow."
"Is that so?" Akane asked, not looking up from her magazine. Ranma lifted his head, and looked towards his once-fiancee.
"Hey, haven't we done the magazine gag already?"
"Gag? What are you talking about?" Akane asked nervously, missing her father lean over her shoulder.
"Hmm? What's this?" Soun pulled the magazine out of the magazine Akane was holding. He looked at it, sighed, and closed it.
"You know, it's not abnormal to be interested in that sort of thing," he said. "I know I certainly was at your age. Of course, I had very poor role models when I was your age. If Genma or I ever came across anything like this, we either destroyed it or hid it, because the master *would* confiscate it."(*)
"Oh, great," Akane gritted out, while glaring at Ranma, "See what you did? Now he's ripping off of other fics!" Akane walked away from her father, as he kept drolling on as if she were sitting in the same spot about her apparently finding it difficult not knowing, or something along those lines.
Ranma grunted non-commettedly in reply.
"Hey, you jerk! Pay attention!" Akane growled, and then turn her head slightly back to her father. "Yes dad, I understand," she replied in a droll manner after her father said something like, 'I'm certain some of them are doing it for a thrill or for some other reason, but blah blah blah blah...."(**)
"Can this gratuitous and perpetual irrational rage to gratify a personal charactoristic developed for you by anime and fandom wait until another time? I'm kinda wore out today," Ranma replied, picking himself up off the floor to head upstairs.
"Yes dad, whatever you say, Dad," Akane switched back to her angered tone, "You're not going anywhere, I still have one more thing to say!"
"Yeah, what?" Ranma asked in a tired voice.
"YOU'RE MARTIAL MASTER!!!!"
(*)Shamelessly ripped off from Chris Jone's 'New Ranma' at www.furinkan.net
Try it! Is good fic filled with enough self-discovery, psychological profiling, and gratuitous sex to make even Jim Bader blush ^_^
(**) Same fic, now go kill some kittens, fanboys.
"Oh, good, you're awake."
Martial Master's muddled mind began to clear, and found himself tied up, standing behind the teller window that read 'Express Line', "What's this?"
"Heh, heh, heh, you feel for plan of attack #62 of my patented 'Dealing with costumed Do-gooders' protocols," Ice Queen said triumphantly. "Now, I shall reveal my sinister plans for you..."
"Wha-what are you planning to do?" Martial Master swallowed dryly, fearing for himself.
"As you can see, I have you tied to the Express teller window, and I will leave you there all day to assist with payday deposits!"
"YOU'RE INSANE!" our hero exclaimed, fighting against his bonds futilely.
"Soon, the waves of patrons of my bank will slowly drive the sanity from you, doing away with you for good!" The villianess checked her gold pocketwatch that had emeralds lined up in the shape of a Yen symbol on it, "Girls, I'm feeling generous today. Let's open fourty seconds early!"
Two of the henchgirls nodded, and unlocked the doors to allow in the ocean of awaitng citizens...
____________________________
Ranma; PROTECTER OF NERIMA!
Episode 5
'Dire Discovery!'
The clock on the wall of the bank slowly ticked to ten A.M., and then to eleven. Eventually, the hours became a the blend that only those forced to suffer customer service could only experience.
The patrons came in droves, anxious to get in and out with their business done, yet never sufficently prepared as one would suspect a person who approaches the express line should be. The excuses given with false smiles, the faked politeness that was grated with apparent irritation was the nicest one who served in the position that is known throught all public services and businesses as the sanity corroder, the rest gave no such contempt. Their way was just, their way was precious, their way was *always* right, for they were the customer.
Such a barrage was not meant for any do-gooder to handle. How would our hero cope with the dramatic pressures presented to even his formidable psyche? Could the Martial Master survive such an ordeal without becoming a jabbering idiot or a fiend of the firearms?
The Ice Queen smiled triumphantly; the bank had been so packed today, she decided to allow it to stay open one more hour. He had instructed all her henchgirls that the more difficult transactions and inquiries be directed to the express line, well intending the overload towards her newest 'employee' to finish the thorn in her side off for good.
The arch-villianess strode confidantly into the main room, as her henchgirls closed up for the evening, "Exellent," She said with a hiss that had the tone of a smirk in it, "Let us now see how the Martial Moron faired."
The Ice Queen laughed, as her girls dragged a drooling and babbling Martial Master in their arms. He would be no trouble at all for her and her plans now.
"Ahh, the once great Martial Master..." the nefarious woman cooed, holding up the chin of her enemy with one hand, "To think I had concerns that you could foil my great plot."
The pigtailed crusader looked at her with unfocused eyes, that suddenly grew intelligent, and smirked, "You bank heisting days are over, Ice Queen!"
The villiness stepped back and gasped, as the Martial Master threw the girls holding him up to the sides. "HOW!" She demanded, her heinous and devious trap was flawless, there was no way he could have survived working overtime in a bank, commanding the expressline aline, on payday!
Martial Master's smirk grew wider. "Simple," he started in a haughty 'it-was-ever-so-logical' tone, "I had the foresight to coat my stomach in sour milk..."
The Ice Queen and her henchgirls looked at each other with blank expressions... "Come again?"
"I coated my stomach in sour milk, for I knew that you would have a heinous and devious trap set for me. As I was incapacitated by you, my stomach became... unsettled. And as it did, I became uncomfortable. And as you well know, that anyone in customer service when they become agitated, will return the attitudes of patrons without remorse."
"Clever," the Ice Queen commented, "Thus, you irritated them enough so that they quickly would finish their business with as little fuss as possible" The villiness brought pointed defiantly at her enemy. But, that shall not save you this time, GET HIM!" The Ice Queen commanded her remaining eight henchgirls.
"[POW! POW!]" Martial Master delivered a dual kick to two agressing henchgirls.
"[ZIST, BOOM, BA!]" A crescent kick subdued three oncoming girls holding swords with hilts shaped like yen signs.
"[Now how about them digits?]" Martial Mastter's sign asked, while he had his arm around a coy acting girl, while he ax kicked another one in the chin.
"[Beeedowwww]" the final henchgirl was subdued in a manner this narrator would not like to discuss in polite company, though it was done in a rather courteous and gentlemenly fashion.
"ARRRRRRRR, CURSES!" Ice Queen cursed, and attempted to run. Martial Master deftly landed in front of her, and reeled back his fist...
"NO!!!" Suddenly, the young woman began to sob in dismay, "Y-y-you wa-wouldn't hit a-a young g-girl... would you?"
Martial Master looked around the room at the fallen henchgirls, and then scratched the back of his head nervously, "Heh, uh, I guess that wouldn't be right and all, um, would it?"
The Ice Queen's smirk returned, "So, we have a stalemate then, you cannot hit me, therefore, subdue me. It appears your only choice is to let me go!"
Our hero's face scrunched up tightly at the declaration, "Damn, I shouldn't have had so much lettuce and cheese in my all you can eat salad buffet!" He exclaimed, "You're right! I... I..." Martial Master pulled his fist back again, and punched forward. The Ice Queen gasped, but the smiled in victory when the fist stopped inches from her nose.
Martial Master pouted a bit, and then he too smiled in victory. He grabbed the villianess's right hand with his left, and held her arm straight out in front of her. Then, in a brilliant maneuver crossed his right forearm over her bicep near the elbow.
"What the Hell are you..." Ice Queen commanded, before a fist to the face silenced her.
"Why you hitt'n yourself? Why you hitt'n yourself?" Martial Master chanted, as he kept forcing the Ice Queen's arm to bend and strike herself in the face until she fell unconcious.
____________________________
"Really, now," the Mayor of Nerima began, "Do you not think that there is a more appropriate place to put this... refuge of society?"
"Dear Mayor," Martial Master replied, "It matters not where we lay our trash. Wether it be in the proper waste receptical, or on the lush grass of our fair parks, it is only important that we stand ever vigilant against their dastardly plots! Plus, that I will collect my wages from today from Ice Queen later."
"Well said, well said," the Mayor of Nerima congradulated, and then turned to find Martial Master dissappeared, "Huh? Where did he go?" He didn't seem to notice half the crowd gathered was pointing at a nearby consession stand.
"Hey, do you use real Japanese beef and pork in your frankfurters?" Crimefighting was hungry business, you know?
That day, the zoo's business picked up exponentially, supported by the mass exodus of teenage males that had come to see Nerima Zoo's newest exibit. The crowd of boys gawked openly and happily, at least until the inhabitants of the cage began to hurl their defication at them in irritation.
____________________________
::A CHORUS OF MARTIAL MASTER INSIGNIAS RIVERDANCE ACROSS THE SCREEN TO SIGNIFY A SCENE CHANGE::
____________________________
"Well, Ranma" Akane asked, seeming to read the magazine, "How has your day been?"
The pigtailed boy lay on the floor, exhausted from his earlier ordeals, "Eh, it's been slow."
"Is that so?" Akane asked, not looking up from her magazine. Ranma lifted his head, and looked towards his once-fiancee.
"Hey, haven't we done the magazine gag already?"
"Gag? What are you talking about?" Akane asked nervously, missing her father lean over her shoulder.
"Hmm? What's this?" Soun pulled the magazine out of the magazine Akane was holding. He looked at it, sighed, and closed it.
"You know, it's not abnormal to be interested in that sort of thing," he said. "I know I certainly was at your age. Of course, I had very poor role models when I was your age. If Genma or I ever came across anything like this, we either destroyed it or hid it, because the master *would* confiscate it."(*)
"Oh, great," Akane gritted out, while glaring at Ranma, "See what you did? Now he's ripping off of other fics!" Akane walked away from her father, as he kept drolling on as if she were sitting in the same spot about her apparently finding it difficult not knowing, or something along those lines.
Ranma grunted non-commettedly in reply.
"Hey, you jerk! Pay attention!" Akane growled, and then turn her head slightly back to her father. "Yes dad, I understand," she replied in a droll manner after her father said something like, 'I'm certain some of them are doing it for a thrill or for some other reason, but blah blah blah blah...."(**)
"Can this gratuitous and perpetual irrational rage to gratify a personal charactoristic developed for you by anime and fandom wait until another time? I'm kinda wore out today," Ranma replied, picking himself up off the floor to head upstairs.
"Yes dad, whatever you say, Dad," Akane switched back to her angered tone, "You're not going anywhere, I still have one more thing to say!"
"Yeah, what?" Ranma asked in a tired voice.
"YOU'RE MARTIAL MASTER!!!!"
(*)Shamelessly ripped off from Chris Jone's 'New Ranma' at www.furinkan.net
Try it! Is good fic filled with enough self-discovery, psychological profiling, and gratuitous sex to make even Jim Bader blush ^_^
(**) Same fic, now go kill some kittens, fanboys.