Ranma; Protecter of Nerima
"WHAT?!?" Ranma shouted incredulously.
"YOU'RE MARTIAL MASTER!!!" Akane accused.
"WHAT?!?" Ranma shouted incredulously.
"YOU'RE MAR-"
"GIVE ME THAT DAMN BULLHORN!!!" Ranma shouted, jerking the megaphone from the other girl, "What the HELL is wrong with you?"
"I know your great secret!" Akane said with a smirk.
"Wha-what makes you think I'm Martial Master?" Ranma asked nervously, while twisting his pigtail between his fingers, fidgiting, and not meeting Akane's eyes.
"Honestly," Akane chided, "You have guilt written all over your face."
Ranma reached up and smeared the writing on his forehead and cheek, "Hey! That's just from one of Kasumi's kinky sex games! That don't mean nutt'n!"
"Well then," Akane started again, "First, you're gone during the day, that's when Martial Master shows up... DURING THE DAY!!!"
"Coincidence!" Ranma shot back.
"He also knows martial arts, YOU KNOW MARTIAL ARTS!!!"
"Uh, doesn't Mousse and Ryoga?" Ranma asked curiously.
"He also wears a mask, YOU'RE WEARING A MASK!!!"
"HA! I'm not... oh, damn," Ranma reached up, and removed the martial master mask from his face, "I guess I'm busted, huh? So, what's it to ya?"
"Oh, nothing..." Akane replied casually, then started to walk away.
"Hmm, that was strange..." Ranma thought to himself, before he turned away himself.
"Lemme help, pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!!!!"
"HEY LEGGO!!!" Ranma tried desperately to shake Akane from his leg with no success. The commotion brought Kasumi into the living room to see what was going on.
"Oh my," Kasumi said sweetly, "Akane, did you want to join in next time?"
Akane blinked, "Uh... that's okay, sis."
"Oh, okay then," the elder Tendou sister replied, "Then would you please get your filthy, shit wiping hands off my man, please?"
"Oh, sorry, you cum guzzling Tiaquana crack whore," Akane replied sheepishly.
Kasumi smiled, and walked back into the kitchen.
"You can't come with me," Ranma said valiantly, "it's too dangerous."
Akane huffed, "I'm a martial artist, too!"
"The like of a crime fighter is fraught with peril," Ranma replied wisely.
"So is a martial artist's!"
"Well, a crime fighter's life is fraught with even MORE peril!" Ranma retorted.
"Is not!" Akane shot back, in Ranma's face.
"IS TOO!"
"NOT!"
"TOO!!"
"NOT!!!" Akane was an inch from Ranma's nose.
"TOO... er, you're not gonna kiss me, are you?" Ranma asked nervously.
"NOT... don't be vulgar," Akane replied.
"Ah, okay," Ranma replied, nodding, "TOO!!!"
"Honestly," Akane snorted, "NOT!!!"
"Okay, look, fine," Ranma stated, breaking the stalemate off, "You can help, but..."
Akane listened intently.
____________________________
Martial Master leapt onto the rooftop, his black cape with red lining fluttering behind him and settling against his back majestically. Behind him, a ladder landed against the edge of the rooftop, and on it ascended a second masked caped crusader, wearing short blue bloomer like shorts, a red Chinese shirt, blue sneakers, a black mask, and a red cape with white lining.
"Can't we just stick to ground level?" Martial Master's new partner huffed, as she climbed the ladder."
"No, we cannot," Martial Master replied, overlooking the cityscape from his vantage point.
"And why does this outfit make me look like a guy," the girl in costume asked with a frown.
"Well, that's not the costume. You're body is built like a guy's, you have a short haircut, and you like girls." Martial Master replied simply.
"Huh, HEY! WHAT DOES MY LIKING GIRLS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!?!"
"It doesn't, I just made a bet with Kasumi that I could get you to admit it." The girl looked at Martial Master nervously from the corner of her eyes.
"THERE!" The pigtailed vigilante shouted, as he pointed down the rooftops, "INJUSTICE IS BEING PERFORMED, TOMBOY!"
"Huh? All I see is Shampoo... what did you call me?" the crimefighter known as Tomboy growled.
"Tomboy, the Girl Peculiar," Martial Master replied as if it were an obvious answer.
"Girl.. Peculiar?" Akane asked, puzzled by the name.
"Of course, we've all wondered about you for a while, thanks for clearing up the confusion a minute ago," Martial Master replied with a smile, before taking off onto the rooftops.
"Wait! Ranm-er-Martial Master," Tomboy shouted after her partner, "You know, about that girl thing. It's not true, really!" The Girl Peculiar took off on the rooftops, glad that roof hopping was much easier than getting up on them.
____________________________
The lavender haired young lady rode her bike with unparalleled skill across the Nerima rooftops, unheeding of the shouts and complaints of her noisy route of transportation. She had a delivery to make, and she was damned if she was going to be late.. again.. for the forth time that day... with only three deliveries the whole time. Great Grandmother's cat of nine tails may sting, that she didn't mind, but the leather she put on when punishing Shampoo...
The girl shivered at the memory, and pedaled faster. Unfortunately, her progress was to still be impeded.
"HALT, FIEND!!!" Shampoo turned to see her beloved wearing a stupid mask and cape, but loved him anyway.
"Aiyah, Ranma take Shampoo on date now?"
"No I'm not taking you out-I'M NOT RANMA!!!" the pigtailed crusader shouted, "I'm Martial Master; Protecter of Nerima."
"Why airen use too, too stupid name?" Shampoo asked, and then looked over the crimefighter's shoulder, "Silly outfit make Akane look more like boy, and blue shorts no suit you."
"He won't let me wear leggings" Tomboy pointed towards her partner with an irritated expression.
"How many times do I have to tell you, Tomboy..." Martial Master started again, with exasperation in his voice.
"What... did you call me?" Tomboy growled.
"Tomboy," Martial Master replied, "Anyway, we're still Golden Age, when we get to Silver Age, then you can have tights or leggings."
"I guess," Tomboy replied dejectedly.
"Now, let us put an end to Cattywoman's reign of terror," Martial Master proclaimed, turning to the puzzled Amazon.
"Who Cattywoman?" Shampoo asked, pointedly ignoring Tomboy's rolling around and laughing her ass off.
"Do no attempt to stall us! Your days of disturbing the peace have come to an end!"
"So husband want to come back to China with Shampoo?"
"NO I'm NOT going back to China with you!" Martial Master shouted.
"CA-CATTYWO-WOMAN!! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA"
Cattywoman pouted, and then suddenly perked up, "Oh! Shampoo have too, too delicious Ranma for husband!"
"Really?" Martial Master perked up, in turn brining Tomboy out of her hysterics with a scowl.
Cattywoman nodded, and presented her takeout carrier, and lifted the lid, displaying a lucious bowl of steaming ramen. Martial Master whipped out a pair of chopsticks from his utility, um, belt (yeah, that's it), and leaned over to take a sample.
"MARTIAL MASTER, DON'T..." Alas, because of his five syllable name that was spoken with perfect Engrish, Tomboy couldn't warn her partner of the trap. Well, she was going to suggest that if he touched it, he would recieve the beating of his life, same difference. The ramen suddenly snaked out, and wrapped up the Defending Duo in a stranglehold of broth soaked death.
Cattywoman chuckled sinisterly, "Aiyah, Ranma and Akane fall for Shampoo too, too dangerous trap!"
"HA!" Martial Master barked, "This trap is flawed! We shall EAT our way out!!!!"
"Shampoo think that already," Cattywoman's grin got wider, "This display ramen, no good eating. Taste too, too much like Akane cooking!"
"PTUI! She's right!" Martial Master shouted, spitting out the fowl tasting substance, "It's too vile to eat!"
"MMM!!!" Akane shouted, apparently gagged by the offending noodles. It wasn't long before darkness overcame both of them...
____________________________
::MARTIAL MASTER INSIGNIA JERKING OFF TO INTERNET PORN TO SIGNIFY SCENE CHANGE::
(damn it, put your pants back on, we're in the middle of a show here!)
____________________________
Martial Master awoke to find himself in a white tuxido, bound and gagged in front of an alter with a drunken preist and Catty Woman at his side in a white wedding dress. On the alter sat a box with two buttons saying 'yes' and 'no'. A cursory check told him he was in a wedding chapel, with Akane, bound and gagged, hanging upside down from a rope over a large pool of furry objects.
"Oh, Airen awake!" Cattywoman stated cheerfully, "Shampoo begin thinking that husband miss own wedding! Shampoo always want western wedding!"
"Mmmm mm mmmm Mmmm mmm?" the Pigtailed Crusader demanded.
"Oh, plot too too simple. See box in front? When priest get to 'You Ranma take Shampoo to be bride', you either press 'yes' or 'no'. If you press yes, we married! You press no, then Akane fall headfirst into pool of mink-fur muffs!"
"How diabolical!" Martial Master proclaimed, "Tomboy is allergic to mink fur!!!"
"Is right!" Cattywoman chirped, "If Ranma no marry Shampoo, Akane axphi-asphit.. choke really bad to death!" The lavender haired villiness then turned to the priest, "Now, begin cerimony!"
Martial Master began to sweat, as the priest began to drone.
WILL MARTIAL MASTER BE FORCED INTO UNHOLY MATRIMONY WITH THE FIENDISH CATTYWOMAN? OR WILL HE SACRIFICE HIS NEWFOUND PARTNER, AND SEND HER INTO THE DEADLY MUFF DIVE? TUNE IN SOME EVENTUAL PIGTAILED TIME, SAME PIGTAILED CHANNEL!!!
"WHAT?!?" Ranma shouted incredulously.
"YOU'RE MARTIAL MASTER!!!" Akane accused.
"WHAT?!?" Ranma shouted incredulously.
"YOU'RE MAR-"
"GIVE ME THAT DAMN BULLHORN!!!" Ranma shouted, jerking the megaphone from the other girl, "What the HELL is wrong with you?"
"I know your great secret!" Akane said with a smirk.
"Wha-what makes you think I'm Martial Master?" Ranma asked nervously, while twisting his pigtail between his fingers, fidgiting, and not meeting Akane's eyes.
"Honestly," Akane chided, "You have guilt written all over your face."
Ranma reached up and smeared the writing on his forehead and cheek, "Hey! That's just from one of Kasumi's kinky sex games! That don't mean nutt'n!"
"Well then," Akane started again, "First, you're gone during the day, that's when Martial Master shows up... DURING THE DAY!!!"
"Coincidence!" Ranma shot back.
"He also knows martial arts, YOU KNOW MARTIAL ARTS!!!"
"Uh, doesn't Mousse and Ryoga?" Ranma asked curiously.
"He also wears a mask, YOU'RE WEARING A MASK!!!"
"HA! I'm not... oh, damn," Ranma reached up, and removed the martial master mask from his face, "I guess I'm busted, huh? So, what's it to ya?"
"Oh, nothing..." Akane replied casually, then started to walk away.
"Hmm, that was strange..." Ranma thought to himself, before he turned away himself.
"Lemme help, pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!!!!"
"HEY LEGGO!!!" Ranma tried desperately to shake Akane from his leg with no success. The commotion brought Kasumi into the living room to see what was going on.
"Oh my," Kasumi said sweetly, "Akane, did you want to join in next time?"
Akane blinked, "Uh... that's okay, sis."
"Oh, okay then," the elder Tendou sister replied, "Then would you please get your filthy, shit wiping hands off my man, please?"
"Oh, sorry, you cum guzzling Tiaquana crack whore," Akane replied sheepishly.
Kasumi smiled, and walked back into the kitchen.
"You can't come with me," Ranma said valiantly, "it's too dangerous."
Akane huffed, "I'm a martial artist, too!"
"The like of a crime fighter is fraught with peril," Ranma replied wisely.
"So is a martial artist's!"
"Well, a crime fighter's life is fraught with even MORE peril!" Ranma retorted.
"Is not!" Akane shot back, in Ranma's face.
"IS TOO!"
"NOT!"
"TOO!!"
"NOT!!!" Akane was an inch from Ranma's nose.
"TOO... er, you're not gonna kiss me, are you?" Ranma asked nervously.
"NOT... don't be vulgar," Akane replied.
"Ah, okay," Ranma replied, nodding, "TOO!!!"
"Honestly," Akane snorted, "NOT!!!"
"Okay, look, fine," Ranma stated, breaking the stalemate off, "You can help, but..."
Akane listened intently.
____________________________
Martial Master leapt onto the rooftop, his black cape with red lining fluttering behind him and settling against his back majestically. Behind him, a ladder landed against the edge of the rooftop, and on it ascended a second masked caped crusader, wearing short blue bloomer like shorts, a red Chinese shirt, blue sneakers, a black mask, and a red cape with white lining.
"Can't we just stick to ground level?" Martial Master's new partner huffed, as she climbed the ladder."
"No, we cannot," Martial Master replied, overlooking the cityscape from his vantage point.
"And why does this outfit make me look like a guy," the girl in costume asked with a frown.
"Well, that's not the costume. You're body is built like a guy's, you have a short haircut, and you like girls." Martial Master replied simply.
"Huh, HEY! WHAT DOES MY LIKING GIRLS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!?!"
"It doesn't, I just made a bet with Kasumi that I could get you to admit it." The girl looked at Martial Master nervously from the corner of her eyes.
"THERE!" The pigtailed vigilante shouted, as he pointed down the rooftops, "INJUSTICE IS BEING PERFORMED, TOMBOY!"
"Huh? All I see is Shampoo... what did you call me?" the crimefighter known as Tomboy growled.
"Tomboy, the Girl Peculiar," Martial Master replied as if it were an obvious answer.
"Girl.. Peculiar?" Akane asked, puzzled by the name.
"Of course, we've all wondered about you for a while, thanks for clearing up the confusion a minute ago," Martial Master replied with a smile, before taking off onto the rooftops.
"Wait! Ranm-er-Martial Master," Tomboy shouted after her partner, "You know, about that girl thing. It's not true, really!" The Girl Peculiar took off on the rooftops, glad that roof hopping was much easier than getting up on them.
____________________________
The lavender haired young lady rode her bike with unparalleled skill across the Nerima rooftops, unheeding of the shouts and complaints of her noisy route of transportation. She had a delivery to make, and she was damned if she was going to be late.. again.. for the forth time that day... with only three deliveries the whole time. Great Grandmother's cat of nine tails may sting, that she didn't mind, but the leather she put on when punishing Shampoo...
The girl shivered at the memory, and pedaled faster. Unfortunately, her progress was to still be impeded.
"HALT, FIEND!!!" Shampoo turned to see her beloved wearing a stupid mask and cape, but loved him anyway.
"Aiyah, Ranma take Shampoo on date now?"
"No I'm not taking you out-I'M NOT RANMA!!!" the pigtailed crusader shouted, "I'm Martial Master; Protecter of Nerima."
"Why airen use too, too stupid name?" Shampoo asked, and then looked over the crimefighter's shoulder, "Silly outfit make Akane look more like boy, and blue shorts no suit you."
"He won't let me wear leggings" Tomboy pointed towards her partner with an irritated expression.
"How many times do I have to tell you, Tomboy..." Martial Master started again, with exasperation in his voice.
"What... did you call me?" Tomboy growled.
"Tomboy," Martial Master replied, "Anyway, we're still Golden Age, when we get to Silver Age, then you can have tights or leggings."
"I guess," Tomboy replied dejectedly.
"Now, let us put an end to Cattywoman's reign of terror," Martial Master proclaimed, turning to the puzzled Amazon.
"Who Cattywoman?" Shampoo asked, pointedly ignoring Tomboy's rolling around and laughing her ass off.
"Do no attempt to stall us! Your days of disturbing the peace have come to an end!"
"So husband want to come back to China with Shampoo?"
"NO I'm NOT going back to China with you!" Martial Master shouted.
"CA-CATTYWO-WOMAN!! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA"
Cattywoman pouted, and then suddenly perked up, "Oh! Shampoo have too, too delicious Ranma for husband!"
"Really?" Martial Master perked up, in turn brining Tomboy out of her hysterics with a scowl.
Cattywoman nodded, and presented her takeout carrier, and lifted the lid, displaying a lucious bowl of steaming ramen. Martial Master whipped out a pair of chopsticks from his utility, um, belt (yeah, that's it), and leaned over to take a sample.
"MARTIAL MASTER, DON'T..." Alas, because of his five syllable name that was spoken with perfect Engrish, Tomboy couldn't warn her partner of the trap. Well, she was going to suggest that if he touched it, he would recieve the beating of his life, same difference. The ramen suddenly snaked out, and wrapped up the Defending Duo in a stranglehold of broth soaked death.
Cattywoman chuckled sinisterly, "Aiyah, Ranma and Akane fall for Shampoo too, too dangerous trap!"
"HA!" Martial Master barked, "This trap is flawed! We shall EAT our way out!!!!"
"Shampoo think that already," Cattywoman's grin got wider, "This display ramen, no good eating. Taste too, too much like Akane cooking!"
"PTUI! She's right!" Martial Master shouted, spitting out the fowl tasting substance, "It's too vile to eat!"
"MMM!!!" Akane shouted, apparently gagged by the offending noodles. It wasn't long before darkness overcame both of them...
____________________________
::MARTIAL MASTER INSIGNIA JERKING OFF TO INTERNET PORN TO SIGNIFY SCENE CHANGE::
(damn it, put your pants back on, we're in the middle of a show here!)
____________________________
Martial Master awoke to find himself in a white tuxido, bound and gagged in front of an alter with a drunken preist and Catty Woman at his side in a white wedding dress. On the alter sat a box with two buttons saying 'yes' and 'no'. A cursory check told him he was in a wedding chapel, with Akane, bound and gagged, hanging upside down from a rope over a large pool of furry objects.
"Oh, Airen awake!" Cattywoman stated cheerfully, "Shampoo begin thinking that husband miss own wedding! Shampoo always want western wedding!"
"Mmmm mm mmmm Mmmm mmm?" the Pigtailed Crusader demanded.
"Oh, plot too too simple. See box in front? When priest get to 'You Ranma take Shampoo to be bride', you either press 'yes' or 'no'. If you press yes, we married! You press no, then Akane fall headfirst into pool of mink-fur muffs!"
"How diabolical!" Martial Master proclaimed, "Tomboy is allergic to mink fur!!!"
"Is right!" Cattywoman chirped, "If Ranma no marry Shampoo, Akane axphi-asphit.. choke really bad to death!" The lavender haired villiness then turned to the priest, "Now, begin cerimony!"
Martial Master began to sweat, as the priest began to drone.
WILL MARTIAL MASTER BE FORCED INTO UNHOLY MATRIMONY WITH THE FIENDISH CATTYWOMAN? OR WILL HE SACRIFICE HIS NEWFOUND PARTNER, AND SEND HER INTO THE DEADLY MUFF DIVE? TUNE IN SOME EVENTUAL PIGTAILED TIME, SAME PIGTAILED CHANNEL!!!