When Last we left our periled Duo of Nerima's Defense...
"Oh, plot too too simple. See box in front? When priest get to 'You Ranma take Shampoo to be bride', you either press 'yes' or 'no'. If you press yes, we married! You press no, then Akane fall headfirst into pool of mink-fur muffs!"
"How diabolical!" Martial Master proclaimed, "Tomboy is allergic to mink fur!!!"
"Is right!" Cattywoman chirped, "If Ranma no marry Shampoo, Akane axphi-asphit.. choke really bad to death!" The lavender haired villiness then turned to the priest, "Now, begin cerimony!"
Martial Master began to sweat, as the priest began to drone.
______________________________
Ranma; Protecter of Nerima
Episode 7
"We are gathered here today..." The priest started; his voice heavily slurred.
"Shampoo see no one else gathered. Stupid drunken priest get to good part!" Shampoo grumbled, "Dress chaff Shampoo crotch badly.
"Good part? Oh, oh yes. Do you Shampoo take this man... ummmm..."
"Ranma/Martial Master," the bride and groom both said in unison.
"Do you take Rarmal Master to be your awefully wedded husband?"
"Stupid priest do backwards! Ask husband he want marry Shampoo first!"
"Oh, he's already married? I'm afraid we do not practice poligamy in this..."
"Shampoo no care about funny Sout African midgets run round in underwear! Shampoo want marry Ranma and get out of stupid dress!"
"Oh, oh dear, I..." the preist hemmed and hawed.
"ASK HUSBAND STUPID QUESTION!!!!"
The priest stopped hemming and hawing, "What are we doing again?"
"Too, too stupid priest repeat after Shampoo..."
"After Shampoo," the priest repeated.
"Okay, Shampoo kill too, too stupid priest after marry Ranma. Now say, 'Ranma, you take too, too pretty Shampoo to be Wife, to worship and make babies with and cook and clean and do cunnilungus when Shampoo too, too agitated?"
"Ranma, you take too, too pretty Shampoo to be wife.."
Shampoo kicked the priest in the face, "That good enough. Now Ranma choose!"
Martial Master stared at the buttons in concertation. If he chose yes, he had a luscious, curvatious, amorous, and downright gorgeous foreigner wife. The neighbors would shun him for sure. If he chose no, his trusty androgenous and sexaully confused partner would be forced into an obscene parallel referense towards her estimated orientation. Martial Master's eyes lit up, as he came up with a plan. Taking a deep breath, he bowed down until he came in contact with the buttons...
Tom Boy plunged head first, and immidiately began kicking her legs in panic.
"Um, why Ranma press both buttons?" Shampoo asked, looking at the lit up 'yes' and 'no' buttons. Akane's flailing legs became more urgent. They were also starting to turn purple.
"Mm mmm mmmmmm..."
"Oh, Shampoo remove ball gag." The Amazon removed the erotic device from her intended.
"It was simple," Martial Master proclaimed, "You see, I coated my stomach in sour milk..."
Shampoo blinked, "What Husband bad gas have do with anything?"
The pigtailed avenger pointedly cleared his throat, "What I mean to say, was that I knew that if I pressed yes, I would be married to you, and if I pressed no, Tom Boy would suffer."
"Shampoo already establish that fact," the Amazon stated dryly. Akane's legs stopped kicking.
"Well, then I considered, 'what if I were to press *both* buttons?"
"Then Ranma show he too, too stupid?" Shampoo asked with a curious lilt.
"No, then the answer is a very clear 'MAYBE'!" Martial Master took on a smug expression at his solution.
"Truly brilliant!" the drunken priest proclaimed.
"And now, Catty Woman," Martial Master shouted, pointing his nose towards Shampoo, "it is time you were brought to justice!" The box containing an upside down Tom Boy and mink fur muffs tipped over in the background.
"Second thought, Shampoo put ball gag back on Ranma." Suddenly, Shampoo's eyes became unfocused, and she dropped into unconciousness. a seething Tom Boy stood behind her, with a purple swelling and blotched face, holding a large mallet with her teeth, as the rest of her body was bound.
"DAN ITH! ITH TOOTH WEEKS THOR THE STHWELLING THO GO DOWN LATH THIME!!!!"
"GOOD WORK, TOM BOY!" Martial Master congradulated, "and if you don't mind me for saying, you look like Hell..."
______________________________
::MARTIAL MASTER ENSIGNIA CHASING WOMEN WEARING THIN WHITE T-SHIRTS WITH A SUPERSOAKER TO SIGNIFY SCENE CHANGE::
______________________________
"Well, I don't believe we've ever had a felinus domesticus exibit here before..." the zookeeper stated, scratching his head.
"I'm... not sure what the situation was, but a job well done!" the mayor praised.
"Yes, it was a job well done, indeed," Martial Master struck a pose, "We must ever stand vigilant, my partner and I. For whenever a new menace shall pop up, from bank theft to disturbing the peace, Martial Master and Tom Boy shall be there. Be there to protect Nerima."
"You know how corny that sounded?" Tom Boy grimaced at the speech.
A purple cat mewed pitifully in its cage, as young men taunted it by throwing peanuts at it. The cat soon retaliated with its own defication.
______________________________
"So... Akane," Ranma started, biting down on his smoking pipe in contemplation, while reading a newspaper, "Now you understand the perils of the superheroe."
"I guess..." Akane replied, wearing a pair of men's khaki slacks, a white dress shirt, and a cheezy looking sweater vest, "But... gee wiz Ranma, I wouldn't give it up for the world!"
Ranma's eyebrows raised, as he nodded, and continued to read the paper, "Indeed, Akane, indeed. Perhaps Kasumi has some delicious brownies freshly baked for us..."
"You're not touching my hash brownies!" Kasumi's voice stated sweetly from the kitchen, "I'll make some chocolate ones for you in a little bit."
"Oh gosh darn," Akane griped, "Now we'll have to wait!"
At that moment, Nabiki walked in the house, looking none worse for wear, and glared at her youngest sister, "Why in the Hell are you two dressed like that. Akane, 'gosh darn'?"
"Uhh... Akane started it!" Ranma accused, pointing to his once-fiancee.
"I DID NOT!" Akane shouted indignantly, and then looked at her apperal, "Damn, this outfit is fugly..."
"Anyhow, I have a gig in an hour, so I must take my leave," with that, Ranma got up and went to the bathroom to change.
______________________________
"I'm impressed," Nabiki commented, "I believe that's the first time you've ruined a gig before you ever got out the door."
Ranma-chan brooded in her oversized baby's pajamas, "Well, at least I still got paid."
"Yeah, but next time, I don't suggest not stating you're doing the baby strip show to the 'Anti-Pediphilia Association'."
"I though APA stood for 'American Psychological Association."
"It does, we're not in America, though."
Ranma-chan was suddenly donning a cloak and specticle over one eye, "It matters not, anyhow. I have amassed a small fortune..."
"About 70,000 Yen, by my estimate," Nabiki calculated.
"Hardly a fortune, Ranma," Akane added.
Ranma-chan pointedly ignored them, "I shall soon have enough funds to begin my conquest of Nerima!"
Nabiki's face twitched, "You don't say...?"
"Ranma, you do realize that table you want is a lot less than what you have, right?" Akane asked, wondering why Ranma was still building money for that ugly table they saw at the used furniture store.
"Oh, but there's this lovely love seat with foot stool it comes with that I simply must have!"
"Whatever, Ranma," Akane sighed, sitting back down in a couch.
"You still doubt my plans?" Ranma-chan asked in a low voice. When she ruled Nerima, the insolent girl Akane would be the first that she fed to her experamental earth worms with buzzsaws attached to their tails.
"Ranma," Akane replied in a tired voice, "Has anyone told you that you're completely schizo?"
Ranma continued to glare at Akane, wishing she had something to pet, "And why wasn't I informed of this earlier?" Akane blinked, and groaned.
"Well, I got two days of homework to catch up on, so I'm heading to my room," Nabiki replied, turning to the stairs.
Suddenly, without provication or true surmisable reason, Akane, Ranma-chan, and Nabiki laughed in merryment.
______________________________
"Mrs. Gosenkugi, in closing, do you swear to uphold all of our beliefs, teachings, and gosphels, which shall lead us to the golden age of Japan?"
"Uh, I do!" The meek looking woman with bags under her eyes replied.
The woman wearing a lavish kimono with short red hair smiled, lowering her right hand, "Welcome to the fold."
"Um, thank you for having me!" Mrs. Gosenkugi replied, "Oooh, this is so exiting! I've never been a part of a secret organization, before!"
The woman with red hair picked up her rice-silk wrapped bundle, and turned to a wall covered totally with moniters, "Agent H, report!"
"I have recruited Mrs. Tzu into our fold," replied the woman who appeared on the moniters. She wore a brown dress with a mustard yellow shirt. Around her neck she wore a loosely tied tiger striped bandanna.
"Nice work, roving agent H. Soon we shall be ready to make our move, for the glory of Japan!"
"Um, Mrs. Agent S, ma'am?" Mrs. Gosenkugi began to ask, "If you don't mind, what is our goal?"
Agent S turned to look at the new agent, Agent G, "Why? The goal of MOM is nothing short of complete manliness of all of Japan, and the WORLD!"
"Oh, how dramatic!" stated Agent G exitedly.
"Yes, Mothers Obsessed for Manliness is nothing less than dramatic for our ritious cause!"
"Oh, plot too too simple. See box in front? When priest get to 'You Ranma take Shampoo to be bride', you either press 'yes' or 'no'. If you press yes, we married! You press no, then Akane fall headfirst into pool of mink-fur muffs!"
"How diabolical!" Martial Master proclaimed, "Tomboy is allergic to mink fur!!!"
"Is right!" Cattywoman chirped, "If Ranma no marry Shampoo, Akane axphi-asphit.. choke really bad to death!" The lavender haired villiness then turned to the priest, "Now, begin cerimony!"
Martial Master began to sweat, as the priest began to drone.
______________________________
Ranma; Protecter of Nerima
Episode 7
"We are gathered here today..." The priest started; his voice heavily slurred.
"Shampoo see no one else gathered. Stupid drunken priest get to good part!" Shampoo grumbled, "Dress chaff Shampoo crotch badly.
"Good part? Oh, oh yes. Do you Shampoo take this man... ummmm..."
"Ranma/Martial Master," the bride and groom both said in unison.
"Do you take Rarmal Master to be your awefully wedded husband?"
"Stupid priest do backwards! Ask husband he want marry Shampoo first!"
"Oh, he's already married? I'm afraid we do not practice poligamy in this..."
"Shampoo no care about funny Sout African midgets run round in underwear! Shampoo want marry Ranma and get out of stupid dress!"
"Oh, oh dear, I..." the preist hemmed and hawed.
"ASK HUSBAND STUPID QUESTION!!!!"
The priest stopped hemming and hawing, "What are we doing again?"
"Too, too stupid priest repeat after Shampoo..."
"After Shampoo," the priest repeated.
"Okay, Shampoo kill too, too stupid priest after marry Ranma. Now say, 'Ranma, you take too, too pretty Shampoo to be Wife, to worship and make babies with and cook and clean and do cunnilungus when Shampoo too, too agitated?"
"Ranma, you take too, too pretty Shampoo to be wife.."
Shampoo kicked the priest in the face, "That good enough. Now Ranma choose!"
Martial Master stared at the buttons in concertation. If he chose yes, he had a luscious, curvatious, amorous, and downright gorgeous foreigner wife. The neighbors would shun him for sure. If he chose no, his trusty androgenous and sexaully confused partner would be forced into an obscene parallel referense towards her estimated orientation. Martial Master's eyes lit up, as he came up with a plan. Taking a deep breath, he bowed down until he came in contact with the buttons...
Tom Boy plunged head first, and immidiately began kicking her legs in panic.
"Um, why Ranma press both buttons?" Shampoo asked, looking at the lit up 'yes' and 'no' buttons. Akane's flailing legs became more urgent. They were also starting to turn purple.
"Mm mmm mmmmmm..."
"Oh, Shampoo remove ball gag." The Amazon removed the erotic device from her intended.
"It was simple," Martial Master proclaimed, "You see, I coated my stomach in sour milk..."
Shampoo blinked, "What Husband bad gas have do with anything?"
The pigtailed avenger pointedly cleared his throat, "What I mean to say, was that I knew that if I pressed yes, I would be married to you, and if I pressed no, Tom Boy would suffer."
"Shampoo already establish that fact," the Amazon stated dryly. Akane's legs stopped kicking.
"Well, then I considered, 'what if I were to press *both* buttons?"
"Then Ranma show he too, too stupid?" Shampoo asked with a curious lilt.
"No, then the answer is a very clear 'MAYBE'!" Martial Master took on a smug expression at his solution.
"Truly brilliant!" the drunken priest proclaimed.
"And now, Catty Woman," Martial Master shouted, pointing his nose towards Shampoo, "it is time you were brought to justice!" The box containing an upside down Tom Boy and mink fur muffs tipped over in the background.
"Second thought, Shampoo put ball gag back on Ranma." Suddenly, Shampoo's eyes became unfocused, and she dropped into unconciousness. a seething Tom Boy stood behind her, with a purple swelling and blotched face, holding a large mallet with her teeth, as the rest of her body was bound.
"DAN ITH! ITH TOOTH WEEKS THOR THE STHWELLING THO GO DOWN LATH THIME!!!!"
"GOOD WORK, TOM BOY!" Martial Master congradulated, "and if you don't mind me for saying, you look like Hell..."
______________________________
::MARTIAL MASTER ENSIGNIA CHASING WOMEN WEARING THIN WHITE T-SHIRTS WITH A SUPERSOAKER TO SIGNIFY SCENE CHANGE::
______________________________
"Well, I don't believe we've ever had a felinus domesticus exibit here before..." the zookeeper stated, scratching his head.
"I'm... not sure what the situation was, but a job well done!" the mayor praised.
"Yes, it was a job well done, indeed," Martial Master struck a pose, "We must ever stand vigilant, my partner and I. For whenever a new menace shall pop up, from bank theft to disturbing the peace, Martial Master and Tom Boy shall be there. Be there to protect Nerima."
"You know how corny that sounded?" Tom Boy grimaced at the speech.
A purple cat mewed pitifully in its cage, as young men taunted it by throwing peanuts at it. The cat soon retaliated with its own defication.
______________________________
"So... Akane," Ranma started, biting down on his smoking pipe in contemplation, while reading a newspaper, "Now you understand the perils of the superheroe."
"I guess..." Akane replied, wearing a pair of men's khaki slacks, a white dress shirt, and a cheezy looking sweater vest, "But... gee wiz Ranma, I wouldn't give it up for the world!"
Ranma's eyebrows raised, as he nodded, and continued to read the paper, "Indeed, Akane, indeed. Perhaps Kasumi has some delicious brownies freshly baked for us..."
"You're not touching my hash brownies!" Kasumi's voice stated sweetly from the kitchen, "I'll make some chocolate ones for you in a little bit."
"Oh gosh darn," Akane griped, "Now we'll have to wait!"
At that moment, Nabiki walked in the house, looking none worse for wear, and glared at her youngest sister, "Why in the Hell are you two dressed like that. Akane, 'gosh darn'?"
"Uhh... Akane started it!" Ranma accused, pointing to his once-fiancee.
"I DID NOT!" Akane shouted indignantly, and then looked at her apperal, "Damn, this outfit is fugly..."
"Anyhow, I have a gig in an hour, so I must take my leave," with that, Ranma got up and went to the bathroom to change.
______________________________
"I'm impressed," Nabiki commented, "I believe that's the first time you've ruined a gig before you ever got out the door."
Ranma-chan brooded in her oversized baby's pajamas, "Well, at least I still got paid."
"Yeah, but next time, I don't suggest not stating you're doing the baby strip show to the 'Anti-Pediphilia Association'."
"I though APA stood for 'American Psychological Association."
"It does, we're not in America, though."
Ranma-chan was suddenly donning a cloak and specticle over one eye, "It matters not, anyhow. I have amassed a small fortune..."
"About 70,000 Yen, by my estimate," Nabiki calculated.
"Hardly a fortune, Ranma," Akane added.
Ranma-chan pointedly ignored them, "I shall soon have enough funds to begin my conquest of Nerima!"
Nabiki's face twitched, "You don't say...?"
"Ranma, you do realize that table you want is a lot less than what you have, right?" Akane asked, wondering why Ranma was still building money for that ugly table they saw at the used furniture store.
"Oh, but there's this lovely love seat with foot stool it comes with that I simply must have!"
"Whatever, Ranma," Akane sighed, sitting back down in a couch.
"You still doubt my plans?" Ranma-chan asked in a low voice. When she ruled Nerima, the insolent girl Akane would be the first that she fed to her experamental earth worms with buzzsaws attached to their tails.
"Ranma," Akane replied in a tired voice, "Has anyone told you that you're completely schizo?"
Ranma continued to glare at Akane, wishing she had something to pet, "And why wasn't I informed of this earlier?" Akane blinked, and groaned.
"Well, I got two days of homework to catch up on, so I'm heading to my room," Nabiki replied, turning to the stairs.
Suddenly, without provication or true surmisable reason, Akane, Ranma-chan, and Nabiki laughed in merryment.
______________________________
"Mrs. Gosenkugi, in closing, do you swear to uphold all of our beliefs, teachings, and gosphels, which shall lead us to the golden age of Japan?"
"Uh, I do!" The meek looking woman with bags under her eyes replied.
The woman wearing a lavish kimono with short red hair smiled, lowering her right hand, "Welcome to the fold."
"Um, thank you for having me!" Mrs. Gosenkugi replied, "Oooh, this is so exiting! I've never been a part of a secret organization, before!"
The woman with red hair picked up her rice-silk wrapped bundle, and turned to a wall covered totally with moniters, "Agent H, report!"
"I have recruited Mrs. Tzu into our fold," replied the woman who appeared on the moniters. She wore a brown dress with a mustard yellow shirt. Around her neck she wore a loosely tied tiger striped bandanna.
"Nice work, roving agent H. Soon we shall be ready to make our move, for the glory of Japan!"
"Um, Mrs. Agent S, ma'am?" Mrs. Gosenkugi began to ask, "If you don't mind, what is our goal?"
Agent S turned to look at the new agent, Agent G, "Why? The goal of MOM is nothing short of complete manliness of all of Japan, and the WORLD!"
"Oh, how dramatic!" stated Agent G exitedly.
"Yes, Mothers Obsessed for Manliness is nothing less than dramatic for our ritious cause!"