Ranma; Protecter of Nerima
Episode 7;
'The Menace of M.O.M.'
After saving Nerima from the dastardly Catty Woman, our heroe in disguise takes the oppurtunity to begin training his newest partner in earnest...
"Keep going! Don't give up!" Ranma shouted, as, ignoring Akane's tears from the endurance.
"I... I can't! Make them go away!" Akane screamed, as she huffed in stress, but continued her frantic pace.
"Oh, look! I found a five hundred yen coin in here!" Ranma bent down to show Akane, and almost fell, "Hey! Careful not to jostle me like that!"
"Excuse...huff... me if... wheeze... I'm not being DELICATE HERE, while I'm running for my life... huff... with a damn COUCH on my back with a martial artist on top of that that insists on COUCH SURFING!!!"
"They're gaining, I suggest not wasting your breath," Ranma commented, idly, as he sat back on the couch Akane was currently running with on her back.
"MAKE THEM GO AWAY!!!" Akane shouted, as she looked back to the beasts chasing her.
"They won't until they get ahold of the lunchmeat strapped to you, and I think Kasumi wouldn't appreaciate it if you let them do that. I believe it was for school," Ranma laid down on the couch, and pulled out a newspaper, "Hey! Nikkei gained four points today, not that I care about anything like that, I just wanted to be distracting."
"WHERE THE HELL DID.... wheeze... YOU COME UP WITH THIS INSANE TRAINING EXERCISE, ANYHOW?!?" Akane screamed, half in rage and half in absolute fear.
"Ah... I read it on the internet somewhere," Ranma answered, "Though, they didn't try hard enough. I mean is it REALLY that hard to find wolves in Japan? Really, how effective can rats be for motivation? Why, back in my day, we wouldn't be satisfied until we were thrown into a dark pit full of ravenous cats while wrapped in fish sausage!" Ranma flipped the page of the newspaper, and scowled, "Hey, why don't our papers have page 3 girls, like in England?"
"Rats... I could have lived with rats," Akane breathed, as she looked back to the wolves chasing her, almost to the point of snapping at her heels.
You know? I didn't really think you'd make it this far..." Ranma actually sounded impressed.
"How are... cough... we going to finish this up?" Akane whined.
Ranma rolled his eyes, and started scanning the ads in the paper, "Wussy. Hmm, Akane, that deoderant you like so much is on sale. Not that I'm implying you're gamey or anything... I just realized, exactly how *are* you going to stop with a pack of enraged and hungry wolves on your tail?"
"YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT?!?".
"Well, keep up the good work, next, the Nekoken training." Ranma pondered that for a second, "Although... I don't think a pit of hungry cats would be traumatizing enough for someone your age... wanna go to the Zoo, later?"
Akane whimpered.
"Leave the lunchmeat on if you manage to lose the wolves..."
Akane whimpered again.
"Let's go surfing now, everybody's learning how..."
Akane whimpered a third time.
"Could you stop that, you're starting to sound annoying!"
___________________________________
"First, I would like to welcome all of you to our lovely secret organization," Agent S greeted.
"Oh yes, it is a nice secret organization, isn't it?" Agent D replied.
"Oh, Agent S, you should invite us over more often!" Agent H stated gleefully.
"My husband said I should be more sociable," Agent G commented.
"It certainly is nice to get out every so often," Agent T said with a smile.
"Um, I mean no offense, Agent T, but aren't you supposed to be dead? And didn't you have three daughters, no sons?"
Agent T blinked, "Um, this isn't a Magus fic?" All agents shook their heads.
"Then, my youngest daughter hasn't been cursed to become a guy, and I'm not a 5,000 year old magus with an early 90's style attitude that has been ressurected?" All agents nodded.
"We won't be ressurecting you for another few episodes yet," Agent S commented.
"Oh," Agent T replied, simply.
"Anyhow, onto our second order of business," Agent S continued, "Agent M?"
"Please, call me Mrs. Mu," Agent M corrected.
"I would like to, but it kind of defeats the purpose of secret code names," Agent S replied.
"Oh, all right, they're so neat, at least." Agent M cleared her throat, "We have finished construction of our secret weapon..."
"Oooh, secret weapon? How interesting!" Agent H stated gleefully, "My little Hiro would find this so fascenating!"
"The secret weapon was designed to enhance the manliness factor of those it comes in contact with to their maximum levels. Thus, we have dubbed it, the 'Manliness Ray'!" Soft clapping was heard all around.
"Yes, let us all thank Agent M for creating such a cute little satilite death-ray type of device for us, and for also baking this cake!" Agent S held up the red velvet cake for all the agents available to see.
"Oh, yes, that cake looks quite nice!" Agent G complimented.
"Oh, it's going to go straight to my hips!" Agent K stated with a bit of a frown.
"Oh, look, it's got cute little flower decorations on top!" Agent H cooed.
___________________________________
"Hey, Akane, you getting tired yet?" Ranma commented, as he lounged on the couch, bored.
"WHEEZE, HACK, COUGH!"
"Okay, because we're home, and it's lunch time," Ranma stated, as he pulled a hunk of lunchmeat off of Akane, and chucked it at the equally tired wolves. Both Akane and Ranma entered the Tendou household, anxiously awaiting refreshments.
"Hey Kasumi, I'm feeling a bit peckish, how about... some nice chicken, seasoned lightly with lemon salt, mint, and paprika over rice pilaf with sauteed mushrooms surrounding it?"
"Here you go, Ranma-kun," Kasumi laid a plate of delicious chicken over rice with mushrooms for her man.
Akane looked longingly at Ranma's plate, "Uh, Kasumi, can I...?"
"You have to learn to cook, sometime, Akane-chan," Kasumi replied with a smile.
"Hey, don't fret over it, Akane, here, I'm saving you a drumstick!" Ranma held up the piece of chicken for Akane, who's mouth began to water, as her eye's glistened.
"LOOK OUT!!!" Ranma screamed, as he tossed the drumstick at Akane, which just barely passed by the side of her head. The drumstick connected solidly between the eyes of a wolf that was sneaking up behind Akane; instantly killing it. Two more wolves leapt into the open, and started fighting over the drumstick.
"Lucky I had that handy!" Ranma stated, proud of himself.
Akane grumbled about Hepititus culturizing whores, as she walked to the fridge. Suddenly, Kasumi jolted straight up, as Ranma's eyes went wide, and he doubled.
"Ah, Akane, never mind what I said, earlier," Kasumi suddenly stated, while pulling Ranma's plate from him, and sitting at the table, "You can have this, as long as you come and sit on my lap!"
Akane was immidiately in her sister's lap, scarfing down on the meal meant for Ranma.
"HEY!" Ranma shouted, indignantly, "You'd better be putting out for me later on tonight for eating at my expense!"
"She's gonna be all mine for the evening, Ranma, go get your own one-night-stand!" Kasumi growled back.
"HEY, you wanna take this outside?" Ranma growled with equal fervor."
"Hey, I'm trying to eat here!" Akane stated, irritatingly through a mouthful of rice. She then blinked, and realized something, "Hey, why you two acting so funny?"
Ranma shook his head, and then grabbed it with both hands, "Must, enforce... dicipline..."
"Are you okay, Ranma?" Akane asked with slight concern.
"Oh, the little pussy's just faking it for sympathy," Kasumi stated nonchilantly, "Now, Akane, how about you grab them ankles, and I show you what REAL horsepower feels like against your ass?"
"Kasumi's talking raunchy!" Ranma exclaimed in surprise, "QUICK! TO THE DOJO!!!"
Both Ranma and Akane were out of the kitchen in a flash, and in the dojo. They pressed a button hidden behind a sign, causing a secret passageway with two sliding poles that descended with it. Akane and Ranma slid down the poles to an underground secret layer that was the stronghold for Nerima's heroes; Martial Master and Tom Boy.
Ranma and Akane then quickly ascended the stairs out of their secret stronghold, and rushed upstairs to their rooms to gather their costumes from where they were hidden in the back of their closets.
Martial Master and Tom Boy met in the upstairs hall, rushed downstairs, and out the house.
"Martial Master, why don't we just hide our costumes in the secret layer?" Tom Boy asked.
"Patience, Tom Boy, we need to fumigate down there, first!" Martial Master replied, "you wouldn't want weevils eating our awe-inspiring capes, now, would you? And besides, we have to first keep your father and your sisters from playing on the poles."
"Kami-blessed Pole Hogs, you're right, Martial Master!" Tom Boy exclaimed.
Martial Master came to a quick stop, "What the Hell did you just say?"
____________________________
::BAT-LOGO SPINS ON THE SCREEN, BEFORE THE MARTIAL MASTER INSIGNIA DROP KICKS IT OUT OF SIGHT SIGNIFYING A SCENE CHANGE::
____________________________
Martial Master and Tom Boy arrived in Nerima Park, just in time to witness dasterdly events.
"I bet I can make you moan louder than sixty decibels," Yuka stated to Sayuri suavely.
"Heh, enough about me, how about we head over to your place, and you show me your room?" Sayuri answered, smoothly putting her arm around Yuka's shoulder.
"Heh, but really, you know? I *am* the school's kendo champion, how's about we find somewhere cozy, and you can take a look at my bokken techniques?" Kuno stated with *actual* competent suaveness.
"Heh, told you my armpits stink more than yours!" Ukyo claimed towards Ryoga in triumph.
"Anyone got a BEER?" Nabiki shouted, before belching loudly.
"They're all acting... macho!" Tom Boy exclaimed in shock.
"That is correct!" A voice stated behind them, "And, as I suspected you would, Martial Master and Tom Boy, you have walked right into our trap!"
"How'd you know to set a trap for us at the park?" Martial Master exclaimed in surprise.
"We shall not discuss the particulars of this plot hole," The red-headed woman wearing a kimono with a porcelin maske over her face while carrying a long package wrapped in rice silk, stated.
"How dastardly!" Martial Master stated in awe of the new villiness's deviousness.
"Now, you shall stand there impotently, as we train a more compact and potent version of our 'Manliness' Ray upon you!"
"A manliness Ray?" Martial Master stated in shock, "So THAT'S your nefarious game!"
"If you actually hit him with that, you'll make Martial Master an even MORE arrogant, obnoxious, stubborn Jerk!" Tom Boy cried out in dismay.
"HEY!!!" Martial Master sputtered indignantly.
"Yes, we of M.O.M., Mothers Obsessed for Manliness, are attempting to convert all our sons to the pinnicle of manliness!"
"At the cost of the femeninity of all women, everywhere?" Tom Boy, questioned in distress.
Agent S just shrugged, "You can't have an omlette without breaking a few eggs..."
"How come you're not affected by your own ray?" Martial Master enquired.
"These absolutely adorable flowers in our hair were exported out of the Quangxi Providence by one of our newest agents," The villiness answered, "They counteract the effects of our manliness ray, allowing us to move about unscatched."
"And how exactly are you going to get us to stand here so that you'll zap us with that beam?" Martial Master challenged.
"It's quite simple..." Agent S stated with a sinister grin, before putting on a more cheerful one, "Agent G-chan came up with it all by herself, isn't she so smart!"
"Right... your plan?" Tom Boy reminded impatiently.
"Oh, my apologies," Agent S trained the beam on our two heroes, "BY CALLING IT'S NAME OUT AS IF IT WERE A MARTIAL ARTS ATTACK!!! That way, you'll be obligated to stand there and defend against it, instead of dodging it!"
Both Martial Master and Tom Boy's eyes widened in shock at such a devistating ploy.
____________________________
WILL MARTIAL MASTER AND TOM BOY FALL VICTIM TO THE 'MANLINESS-RAY-CHAN'?!? WILL THEY BE ABLE TO SAVE NERIMA FROM THE OVER-ABUNDANCE OF TESTOSTERONE?!? TUNE IN SOME PIGTAILED TIME, SAME PIGTAILED CHANNEL!!!
Episode 7;
'The Menace of M.O.M.'
After saving Nerima from the dastardly Catty Woman, our heroe in disguise takes the oppurtunity to begin training his newest partner in earnest...
"Keep going! Don't give up!" Ranma shouted, as, ignoring Akane's tears from the endurance.
"I... I can't! Make them go away!" Akane screamed, as she huffed in stress, but continued her frantic pace.
"Oh, look! I found a five hundred yen coin in here!" Ranma bent down to show Akane, and almost fell, "Hey! Careful not to jostle me like that!"
"Excuse...huff... me if... wheeze... I'm not being DELICATE HERE, while I'm running for my life... huff... with a damn COUCH on my back with a martial artist on top of that that insists on COUCH SURFING!!!"
"They're gaining, I suggest not wasting your breath," Ranma commented, idly, as he sat back on the couch Akane was currently running with on her back.
"MAKE THEM GO AWAY!!!" Akane shouted, as she looked back to the beasts chasing her.
"They won't until they get ahold of the lunchmeat strapped to you, and I think Kasumi wouldn't appreaciate it if you let them do that. I believe it was for school," Ranma laid down on the couch, and pulled out a newspaper, "Hey! Nikkei gained four points today, not that I care about anything like that, I just wanted to be distracting."
"WHERE THE HELL DID.... wheeze... YOU COME UP WITH THIS INSANE TRAINING EXERCISE, ANYHOW?!?" Akane screamed, half in rage and half in absolute fear.
"Ah... I read it on the internet somewhere," Ranma answered, "Though, they didn't try hard enough. I mean is it REALLY that hard to find wolves in Japan? Really, how effective can rats be for motivation? Why, back in my day, we wouldn't be satisfied until we were thrown into a dark pit full of ravenous cats while wrapped in fish sausage!" Ranma flipped the page of the newspaper, and scowled, "Hey, why don't our papers have page 3 girls, like in England?"
"Rats... I could have lived with rats," Akane breathed, as she looked back to the wolves chasing her, almost to the point of snapping at her heels.
You know? I didn't really think you'd make it this far..." Ranma actually sounded impressed.
"How are... cough... we going to finish this up?" Akane whined.
Ranma rolled his eyes, and started scanning the ads in the paper, "Wussy. Hmm, Akane, that deoderant you like so much is on sale. Not that I'm implying you're gamey or anything... I just realized, exactly how *are* you going to stop with a pack of enraged and hungry wolves on your tail?"
"YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT?!?".
"Well, keep up the good work, next, the Nekoken training." Ranma pondered that for a second, "Although... I don't think a pit of hungry cats would be traumatizing enough for someone your age... wanna go to the Zoo, later?"
Akane whimpered.
"Leave the lunchmeat on if you manage to lose the wolves..."
Akane whimpered again.
"Let's go surfing now, everybody's learning how..."
Akane whimpered a third time.
"Could you stop that, you're starting to sound annoying!"
___________________________________
"First, I would like to welcome all of you to our lovely secret organization," Agent S greeted.
"Oh yes, it is a nice secret organization, isn't it?" Agent D replied.
"Oh, Agent S, you should invite us over more often!" Agent H stated gleefully.
"My husband said I should be more sociable," Agent G commented.
"It certainly is nice to get out every so often," Agent T said with a smile.
"Um, I mean no offense, Agent T, but aren't you supposed to be dead? And didn't you have three daughters, no sons?"
Agent T blinked, "Um, this isn't a Magus fic?" All agents shook their heads.
"Then, my youngest daughter hasn't been cursed to become a guy, and I'm not a 5,000 year old magus with an early 90's style attitude that has been ressurected?" All agents nodded.
"We won't be ressurecting you for another few episodes yet," Agent S commented.
"Oh," Agent T replied, simply.
"Anyhow, onto our second order of business," Agent S continued, "Agent M?"
"Please, call me Mrs. Mu," Agent M corrected.
"I would like to, but it kind of defeats the purpose of secret code names," Agent S replied.
"Oh, all right, they're so neat, at least." Agent M cleared her throat, "We have finished construction of our secret weapon..."
"Oooh, secret weapon? How interesting!" Agent H stated gleefully, "My little Hiro would find this so fascenating!"
"The secret weapon was designed to enhance the manliness factor of those it comes in contact with to their maximum levels. Thus, we have dubbed it, the 'Manliness Ray'!" Soft clapping was heard all around.
"Yes, let us all thank Agent M for creating such a cute little satilite death-ray type of device for us, and for also baking this cake!" Agent S held up the red velvet cake for all the agents available to see.
"Oh, yes, that cake looks quite nice!" Agent G complimented.
"Oh, it's going to go straight to my hips!" Agent K stated with a bit of a frown.
"Oh, look, it's got cute little flower decorations on top!" Agent H cooed.
___________________________________
"Hey, Akane, you getting tired yet?" Ranma commented, as he lounged on the couch, bored.
"WHEEZE, HACK, COUGH!"
"Okay, because we're home, and it's lunch time," Ranma stated, as he pulled a hunk of lunchmeat off of Akane, and chucked it at the equally tired wolves. Both Akane and Ranma entered the Tendou household, anxiously awaiting refreshments.
"Hey Kasumi, I'm feeling a bit peckish, how about... some nice chicken, seasoned lightly with lemon salt, mint, and paprika over rice pilaf with sauteed mushrooms surrounding it?"
"Here you go, Ranma-kun," Kasumi laid a plate of delicious chicken over rice with mushrooms for her man.
Akane looked longingly at Ranma's plate, "Uh, Kasumi, can I...?"
"You have to learn to cook, sometime, Akane-chan," Kasumi replied with a smile.
"Hey, don't fret over it, Akane, here, I'm saving you a drumstick!" Ranma held up the piece of chicken for Akane, who's mouth began to water, as her eye's glistened.
"LOOK OUT!!!" Ranma screamed, as he tossed the drumstick at Akane, which just barely passed by the side of her head. The drumstick connected solidly between the eyes of a wolf that was sneaking up behind Akane; instantly killing it. Two more wolves leapt into the open, and started fighting over the drumstick.
"Lucky I had that handy!" Ranma stated, proud of himself.
Akane grumbled about Hepititus culturizing whores, as she walked to the fridge. Suddenly, Kasumi jolted straight up, as Ranma's eyes went wide, and he doubled.
"Ah, Akane, never mind what I said, earlier," Kasumi suddenly stated, while pulling Ranma's plate from him, and sitting at the table, "You can have this, as long as you come and sit on my lap!"
Akane was immidiately in her sister's lap, scarfing down on the meal meant for Ranma.
"HEY!" Ranma shouted, indignantly, "You'd better be putting out for me later on tonight for eating at my expense!"
"She's gonna be all mine for the evening, Ranma, go get your own one-night-stand!" Kasumi growled back.
"HEY, you wanna take this outside?" Ranma growled with equal fervor."
"Hey, I'm trying to eat here!" Akane stated, irritatingly through a mouthful of rice. She then blinked, and realized something, "Hey, why you two acting so funny?"
Ranma shook his head, and then grabbed it with both hands, "Must, enforce... dicipline..."
"Are you okay, Ranma?" Akane asked with slight concern.
"Oh, the little pussy's just faking it for sympathy," Kasumi stated nonchilantly, "Now, Akane, how about you grab them ankles, and I show you what REAL horsepower feels like against your ass?"
"Kasumi's talking raunchy!" Ranma exclaimed in surprise, "QUICK! TO THE DOJO!!!"
Both Ranma and Akane were out of the kitchen in a flash, and in the dojo. They pressed a button hidden behind a sign, causing a secret passageway with two sliding poles that descended with it. Akane and Ranma slid down the poles to an underground secret layer that was the stronghold for Nerima's heroes; Martial Master and Tom Boy.
Ranma and Akane then quickly ascended the stairs out of their secret stronghold, and rushed upstairs to their rooms to gather their costumes from where they were hidden in the back of their closets.
Martial Master and Tom Boy met in the upstairs hall, rushed downstairs, and out the house.
"Martial Master, why don't we just hide our costumes in the secret layer?" Tom Boy asked.
"Patience, Tom Boy, we need to fumigate down there, first!" Martial Master replied, "you wouldn't want weevils eating our awe-inspiring capes, now, would you? And besides, we have to first keep your father and your sisters from playing on the poles."
"Kami-blessed Pole Hogs, you're right, Martial Master!" Tom Boy exclaimed.
Martial Master came to a quick stop, "What the Hell did you just say?"
____________________________
::BAT-LOGO SPINS ON THE SCREEN, BEFORE THE MARTIAL MASTER INSIGNIA DROP KICKS IT OUT OF SIGHT SIGNIFYING A SCENE CHANGE::
____________________________
Martial Master and Tom Boy arrived in Nerima Park, just in time to witness dasterdly events.
"I bet I can make you moan louder than sixty decibels," Yuka stated to Sayuri suavely.
"Heh, enough about me, how about we head over to your place, and you show me your room?" Sayuri answered, smoothly putting her arm around Yuka's shoulder.
"Heh, but really, you know? I *am* the school's kendo champion, how's about we find somewhere cozy, and you can take a look at my bokken techniques?" Kuno stated with *actual* competent suaveness.
"Heh, told you my armpits stink more than yours!" Ukyo claimed towards Ryoga in triumph.
"Anyone got a BEER?" Nabiki shouted, before belching loudly.
"They're all acting... macho!" Tom Boy exclaimed in shock.
"That is correct!" A voice stated behind them, "And, as I suspected you would, Martial Master and Tom Boy, you have walked right into our trap!"
"How'd you know to set a trap for us at the park?" Martial Master exclaimed in surprise.
"We shall not discuss the particulars of this plot hole," The red-headed woman wearing a kimono with a porcelin maske over her face while carrying a long package wrapped in rice silk, stated.
"How dastardly!" Martial Master stated in awe of the new villiness's deviousness.
"Now, you shall stand there impotently, as we train a more compact and potent version of our 'Manliness' Ray upon you!"
"A manliness Ray?" Martial Master stated in shock, "So THAT'S your nefarious game!"
"If you actually hit him with that, you'll make Martial Master an even MORE arrogant, obnoxious, stubborn Jerk!" Tom Boy cried out in dismay.
"HEY!!!" Martial Master sputtered indignantly.
"Yes, we of M.O.M., Mothers Obsessed for Manliness, are attempting to convert all our sons to the pinnicle of manliness!"
"At the cost of the femeninity of all women, everywhere?" Tom Boy, questioned in distress.
Agent S just shrugged, "You can't have an omlette without breaking a few eggs..."
"How come you're not affected by your own ray?" Martial Master enquired.
"These absolutely adorable flowers in our hair were exported out of the Quangxi Providence by one of our newest agents," The villiness answered, "They counteract the effects of our manliness ray, allowing us to move about unscatched."
"And how exactly are you going to get us to stand here so that you'll zap us with that beam?" Martial Master challenged.
"It's quite simple..." Agent S stated with a sinister grin, before putting on a more cheerful one, "Agent G-chan came up with it all by herself, isn't she so smart!"
"Right... your plan?" Tom Boy reminded impatiently.
"Oh, my apologies," Agent S trained the beam on our two heroes, "BY CALLING IT'S NAME OUT AS IF IT WERE A MARTIAL ARTS ATTACK!!! That way, you'll be obligated to stand there and defend against it, instead of dodging it!"
Both Martial Master and Tom Boy's eyes widened in shock at such a devistating ploy.
____________________________
WILL MARTIAL MASTER AND TOM BOY FALL VICTIM TO THE 'MANLINESS-RAY-CHAN'?!? WILL THEY BE ABLE TO SAVE NERIMA FROM THE OVER-ABUNDANCE OF TESTOSTERONE?!? TUNE IN SOME PIGTAILED TIME, SAME PIGTAILED CHANNEL!!!