When last we left our crimefighting duet...
And how exactly are you going to get us to stand here so that you'll zap us with that beam?" Martial Master challenged.
"It's quite simple..." Agent S stated with a sinister grin, before putting on a more cheerful one, "My maniacal plan will have you frozen to the spot!"
"Wait a minute..." Tom Boy interjected, "You didn't say that last time!"
Agent S blinked in confusion, "Yes I did."
"No you didn't!" the sidekick argued.
"Alright, young man, exactly what did I say, then?" Agent S curtly replied with irritation in her voice.
Tom Boy's eye twitched at the 'young man', answered anyhow, "You said something about Agent G or B or someone coming up with it, and that she or he was very smart!"
"No I didn't," Agent S argued.
"Guys..." Martial Master interrupted the argument with a droll voice.
"Oh, I apologise," Agent S apologised, and then mumbled under her voice, "Damn dual scripting..." She resumed her previous riteous villiness pose, and...
When Last we left our crimefighting Duet...
"I SHALL EXCLAIM AS IF IT WERE AN ULTIMATE MARTIAL ARTS ATTACK!!!"
"HEY! THAT'S NOT... oh, forget it."
Agent S aimed the weapon at our heros in dire straits.
"Quick..." Martial Master whispered to his partner, "when she fires, jump in front of the beam!"
"WHAT?!?" Tom Boy exclaimed, not in a whisper "ARE YOU INSANE?!?"
"Oh, do please hold on a sec, I just need to caliberize this, just be patient," Agent S apologized.
"Comon, Tom Boy," Martial Master urged, still ready to guard against the oncoming ray, "You're confused, anyway! This'll just help give you a firm direction on your sexuality."
"I'M PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE WITH MY SEXUAL IDENTITY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!" Martial Master couldn't help himself, as he collapsed to the ground in laughter.
"M.O.M. ULTIMATE ATTACK; THE STRIKE OF MANLINESS!!!"
Tom Boy stood over Martial Master with a furious expression and a blushing face, not even paying attention to the ray that passed just a couple of inches from her torso, where Martial Master would have been standing, if he were not rolling around on the ground in hysterics, that is.
"Oooh, fudge! You were supposed to stand still!" Agent S pouted, holding the impotent yet large ray that at the moment stood for a twisted metaphor for penis envy.
"A-HAH!" Martial Master shouted, as he jumped to his feet, "My ploy worked!"
"But.. how could you have escaped such a fool-proof plan?" Agent S whined.
"It was quite simple," Martial Master began to explain, "You see, I coated my stomach wi-"
::SMACK::
Martial Master glared at Tom Boy, as she retracted her hand, and began whistling innocently. "You see," Martial Master started again, "All I had to do was coax Tom Boy into denying her confusion that is so obvious to everyone.
"He's got you there, Sugar," an okonamiyaki chef added, as she passed by, trying to swat a running wooden Native American Cigar statue with her large spatula.
"Tom Boy too, too confused," a ramen delivery girl commented, as she flew overhead on her bike.
"AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN A CAGE SOMEWHERE?" Tom Boy shouted. Martial Master's sidekick got her panting down to minimal before continuing, "And for the last time, I know what my orientation is!"
"Tom Boy, we're trying to be serious now!" Martial Master admonished, after calming his snickers down, "Anyhow, the gut-wrenching laughter negated my obligation to defend against your attack,allowing me to escape unsatched."
"You may have escaped my trap, but we still have you!" Agent S stated arrogantly, "AGENTS OF M.O.M. ATTACK!!!"
Several women wearing porcelin masks jumped out of hiding, galvanizing Martial Master into action, as he leapt at Agent S, and totally kicked her in the HEAD!!! Tom Boy and the other agents looked on in shock, as Martial Master began to totally flip out and wail on an ax guitar.
"That's it, no more realultimatepower.com for him," Tom Boy mumbled under her breath, as she looked around herself, and found several motherly type women wearing masks surrounding her, "Um, Martial Master..."
"Yeah, Tom Boy?" Martial Master replied, while punching Agent K in the gut so hard the next generation would feel it...
___________________
In the Kuno mansion, Kodachi groaned, holding her stomach, as the girl she was busy seducing (and being seduced by back), sat up in concern (mainly for the fear of not getting any nookie so she could brag about it to her best buds how she scored with a rich chick. Feh, pigs...)
"Damnation!" Kodachi cursed, "Someone's hit mother in the gut again!"
___________________
"I don't quite feel comfortable with hitting these, um, villains," Tom Boy gulped, as the group of women drew closer to pounce.
"Just think of them as someone else's mother!" Martial Master encouraged, while pile driving another agent of M.O.M. onto the concrete.
"I-it's not helping..." Tom Boy whined in nervousness, as the Agents were slowly drawing closer, yet remarkably seemed to not have gotten any closer than the last time due to cheezy attempts at prolonging suspence.
"Then thing of them as the mother of someone you reallllly hate!" Martial Master swung a blowtorch around, setting aflame several agents of M.O.M.
Tom Boy lightly shoved an agent back, "It's still not helping!"
"Tom Boy, remember the time when you were eight, and your mother beat you for the broken vase in the hall?"
"THAT WAS NABIKI'S FAULT, DAMMIT!!!" Tom Boy brought out her mallet-staff, and connected with the head of Agent M, "MOM! IT WASN'T FAIR! I WASN'T EVEN IN THE HOUSE!!!"
"Good work, Tom boy!" Martial Master proclaimed, while giving the last of his opposing agents a wedgie.
"AND THIS IS FOR MAKING ME WEAR THAT UGLY DRESS FOR THE FAMILY REUNION! AND THIS IS FOR MAKING ME EAT THAT NASTY ASPARAGUS! YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH I HATE ASPARAGUS?!?!?"
Martial Master nodded in approval.
___________________
"I see you're still a bit confused as to what belongs here..." the zookeeper sighed in resignation, and walked off to leave the two crimefighters, the 'Mayor' of Nerima, and a few zoo visitors passing by to see what all the commotion was about to their own devices.
"Nerima, Japan, and all the world thank you for bringing in the notorious M.O.M. organization, before they could fully recognize their devious plot!" the mayor congradulated, "But I must ask, how is it you were able to stave off it's ill effects?"
"It's all very complicated to explain, but I shall attempt to reveal the fatal flaw in M.O.M.'s plans," Martial Master said in a somber, yet enlightened tone, "You see... their manliness ray works by sending the glands that produce the male hormone 'testosterone' into maximum production. But... my sidekick, Tom Boy, is already at maximum machoicity, which made her able to escape it's dire effects."
"I didn't see much change in you, moron," Tom Boy growled in reply.
"Well done, well done indeed!" the mayor of Nerima applauded, "Now, how about I show you my little corner of Nerima Park, Tom boy? I have a cozy bench you might find comfortable against bare skin..."
"We forgot to turn off the ray?" Martial Master enquired to his side kick.
"We forgot to turn off the ray," Tom Boy answered, keeping her right foot adjusted on the concrete-eating mayor of Nerima's head.
The effects were noted once again, by the crowd of boys and girls, making catcalls and whistles at the captives of the cage, until one of them got splatted in the face with a handful of fecies.
"Oh my, it was so nice of the zookeeper to supply us with sugeons gloves an a bucket of chimp fecies," Agent S stated.
"Nice throw," Agent M complimented
"You put a nice spin on it," added Agent D.
___________________
Many, many miles above the earth...
"Ooooh, whatever's in that ray we passed over is causing my fifth stomach to do unprecidented feats of agility that it was not designated for..." A seven armed alien leaking a minty smelling gray substance from it's pours grumbled in agony, "I seem to be producing an overabundance of a masculine hormone that is upsetting my asexual balance..."
"I told you, you should not have eaten the Corballian special on Xyuijmkps 9," His associate, that looked refreshingly human exept for the weird cone that was sticking through his head.
But it looked so tender and make such succulent screams!"
The humanoid sighed, "You can use one of my hyper-laxatives, and for ZNARKOF CHRIST'S SAKES... flush this time. Last time it took us a whole terrain military and that Riply woman to get rid of it. We still haven't patched up all the acid burns, yet..."
::FLUSH::
"There, is your production of alpha waves within your cranial limb elevated, now?"
___________________
Ryoga sighed. The girlfriend was pregnant, and the child wasn't his. He lost his home. His dog died. His truck's broke...
The young man with fangs stopped his portable CD player, took out the CD, and chucked it away; American country music wasn't helping his mood. Ryoga was lost though, which wasn't anything new. His distorted sense of spacial relation brought about his current mood of suicidal level depression, which caused the eyes of the reader to roll around in obvious irritation for such an unoriginal introduction for Ryoga. Just to add insult to injury, Ryoga chose to follow an exeedingly overused concept of fannon and...
"RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"
...blame it on Ranma. He also decided to blame the sudden minty-smelling rainfall that turned him into a pig on Ranma. The black symbiotic thing that fell and encased his porcine body, on the other hand...
The depressed and enraged, and at rare moments, euphoric pig (who this author has been told profusely by an associate that the pig does NOT suffer from bi-polar disorder) found a kindred spirit. Something that was precariously tossed through a vacuum, unwanted and disgarded, which really upset it. With their united depression and anger, a focus came.
The demonic looking baby pig's tendrils warped and thrashed violently, before settling down. With a hidious smile lined with nail-like shards for teeth, it proclaimed...
"WE ARE CHITLINS! RANMA, YOU SHALL PAY!!!"
Edited 7/1/2002 10:15:10 PM ET by WFROSE
And how exactly are you going to get us to stand here so that you'll zap us with that beam?" Martial Master challenged.
"It's quite simple..." Agent S stated with a sinister grin, before putting on a more cheerful one, "My maniacal plan will have you frozen to the spot!"
"Wait a minute..." Tom Boy interjected, "You didn't say that last time!"
Agent S blinked in confusion, "Yes I did."
"No you didn't!" the sidekick argued.
"Alright, young man, exactly what did I say, then?" Agent S curtly replied with irritation in her voice.
Tom Boy's eye twitched at the 'young man', answered anyhow, "You said something about Agent G or B or someone coming up with it, and that she or he was very smart!"
"No I didn't," Agent S argued.
"Guys..." Martial Master interrupted the argument with a droll voice.
"Oh, I apologise," Agent S apologised, and then mumbled under her voice, "Damn dual scripting..." She resumed her previous riteous villiness pose, and...
When Last we left our crimefighting Duet...
"I SHALL EXCLAIM AS IF IT WERE AN ULTIMATE MARTIAL ARTS ATTACK!!!"
"HEY! THAT'S NOT... oh, forget it."
Agent S aimed the weapon at our heros in dire straits.
"Quick..." Martial Master whispered to his partner, "when she fires, jump in front of the beam!"
"WHAT?!?" Tom Boy exclaimed, not in a whisper "ARE YOU INSANE?!?"
"Oh, do please hold on a sec, I just need to caliberize this, just be patient," Agent S apologized.
"Comon, Tom Boy," Martial Master urged, still ready to guard against the oncoming ray, "You're confused, anyway! This'll just help give you a firm direction on your sexuality."
"I'M PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE WITH MY SEXUAL IDENTITY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!" Martial Master couldn't help himself, as he collapsed to the ground in laughter.
"M.O.M. ULTIMATE ATTACK; THE STRIKE OF MANLINESS!!!"
Tom Boy stood over Martial Master with a furious expression and a blushing face, not even paying attention to the ray that passed just a couple of inches from her torso, where Martial Master would have been standing, if he were not rolling around on the ground in hysterics, that is.
"Oooh, fudge! You were supposed to stand still!" Agent S pouted, holding the impotent yet large ray that at the moment stood for a twisted metaphor for penis envy.
"A-HAH!" Martial Master shouted, as he jumped to his feet, "My ploy worked!"
"But.. how could you have escaped such a fool-proof plan?" Agent S whined.
"It was quite simple," Martial Master began to explain, "You see, I coated my stomach wi-"
::SMACK::
Martial Master glared at Tom Boy, as she retracted her hand, and began whistling innocently. "You see," Martial Master started again, "All I had to do was coax Tom Boy into denying her confusion that is so obvious to everyone.
"He's got you there, Sugar," an okonamiyaki chef added, as she passed by, trying to swat a running wooden Native American Cigar statue with her large spatula.
"Tom Boy too, too confused," a ramen delivery girl commented, as she flew overhead on her bike.
"AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN A CAGE SOMEWHERE?" Tom Boy shouted. Martial Master's sidekick got her panting down to minimal before continuing, "And for the last time, I know what my orientation is!"
"Tom Boy, we're trying to be serious now!" Martial Master admonished, after calming his snickers down, "Anyhow, the gut-wrenching laughter negated my obligation to defend against your attack,allowing me to escape unsatched."
"You may have escaped my trap, but we still have you!" Agent S stated arrogantly, "AGENTS OF M.O.M. ATTACK!!!"
Several women wearing porcelin masks jumped out of hiding, galvanizing Martial Master into action, as he leapt at Agent S, and totally kicked her in the HEAD!!! Tom Boy and the other agents looked on in shock, as Martial Master began to totally flip out and wail on an ax guitar.
"That's it, no more realultimatepower.com for him," Tom Boy mumbled under her breath, as she looked around herself, and found several motherly type women wearing masks surrounding her, "Um, Martial Master..."
"Yeah, Tom Boy?" Martial Master replied, while punching Agent K in the gut so hard the next generation would feel it...
___________________
In the Kuno mansion, Kodachi groaned, holding her stomach, as the girl she was busy seducing (and being seduced by back), sat up in concern (mainly for the fear of not getting any nookie so she could brag about it to her best buds how she scored with a rich chick. Feh, pigs...)
"Damnation!" Kodachi cursed, "Someone's hit mother in the gut again!"
___________________
"I don't quite feel comfortable with hitting these, um, villains," Tom Boy gulped, as the group of women drew closer to pounce.
"Just think of them as someone else's mother!" Martial Master encouraged, while pile driving another agent of M.O.M. onto the concrete.
"I-it's not helping..." Tom Boy whined in nervousness, as the Agents were slowly drawing closer, yet remarkably seemed to not have gotten any closer than the last time due to cheezy attempts at prolonging suspence.
"Then thing of them as the mother of someone you reallllly hate!" Martial Master swung a blowtorch around, setting aflame several agents of M.O.M.
Tom Boy lightly shoved an agent back, "It's still not helping!"
"Tom Boy, remember the time when you were eight, and your mother beat you for the broken vase in the hall?"
"THAT WAS NABIKI'S FAULT, DAMMIT!!!" Tom Boy brought out her mallet-staff, and connected with the head of Agent M, "MOM! IT WASN'T FAIR! I WASN'T EVEN IN THE HOUSE!!!"
"Good work, Tom boy!" Martial Master proclaimed, while giving the last of his opposing agents a wedgie.
"AND THIS IS FOR MAKING ME WEAR THAT UGLY DRESS FOR THE FAMILY REUNION! AND THIS IS FOR MAKING ME EAT THAT NASTY ASPARAGUS! YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH I HATE ASPARAGUS?!?!?"
Martial Master nodded in approval.
___________________
"I see you're still a bit confused as to what belongs here..." the zookeeper sighed in resignation, and walked off to leave the two crimefighters, the 'Mayor' of Nerima, and a few zoo visitors passing by to see what all the commotion was about to their own devices.
"Nerima, Japan, and all the world thank you for bringing in the notorious M.O.M. organization, before they could fully recognize their devious plot!" the mayor congradulated, "But I must ask, how is it you were able to stave off it's ill effects?"
"It's all very complicated to explain, but I shall attempt to reveal the fatal flaw in M.O.M.'s plans," Martial Master said in a somber, yet enlightened tone, "You see... their manliness ray works by sending the glands that produce the male hormone 'testosterone' into maximum production. But... my sidekick, Tom Boy, is already at maximum machoicity, which made her able to escape it's dire effects."
"I didn't see much change in you, moron," Tom Boy growled in reply.
"Well done, well done indeed!" the mayor of Nerima applauded, "Now, how about I show you my little corner of Nerima Park, Tom boy? I have a cozy bench you might find comfortable against bare skin..."
"We forgot to turn off the ray?" Martial Master enquired to his side kick.
"We forgot to turn off the ray," Tom Boy answered, keeping her right foot adjusted on the concrete-eating mayor of Nerima's head.
The effects were noted once again, by the crowd of boys and girls, making catcalls and whistles at the captives of the cage, until one of them got splatted in the face with a handful of fecies.
"Oh my, it was so nice of the zookeeper to supply us with sugeons gloves an a bucket of chimp fecies," Agent S stated.
"Nice throw," Agent M complimented
"You put a nice spin on it," added Agent D.
___________________
Many, many miles above the earth...
"Ooooh, whatever's in that ray we passed over is causing my fifth stomach to do unprecidented feats of agility that it was not designated for..." A seven armed alien leaking a minty smelling gray substance from it's pours grumbled in agony, "I seem to be producing an overabundance of a masculine hormone that is upsetting my asexual balance..."
"I told you, you should not have eaten the Corballian special on Xyuijmkps 9," His associate, that looked refreshingly human exept for the weird cone that was sticking through his head.
But it looked so tender and make such succulent screams!"
The humanoid sighed, "You can use one of my hyper-laxatives, and for ZNARKOF CHRIST'S SAKES... flush this time. Last time it took us a whole terrain military and that Riply woman to get rid of it. We still haven't patched up all the acid burns, yet..."
::FLUSH::
"There, is your production of alpha waves within your cranial limb elevated, now?"
___________________
Ryoga sighed. The girlfriend was pregnant, and the child wasn't his. He lost his home. His dog died. His truck's broke...
The young man with fangs stopped his portable CD player, took out the CD, and chucked it away; American country music wasn't helping his mood. Ryoga was lost though, which wasn't anything new. His distorted sense of spacial relation brought about his current mood of suicidal level depression, which caused the eyes of the reader to roll around in obvious irritation for such an unoriginal introduction for Ryoga. Just to add insult to injury, Ryoga chose to follow an exeedingly overused concept of fannon and...
"RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"
...blame it on Ranma. He also decided to blame the sudden minty-smelling rainfall that turned him into a pig on Ranma. The black symbiotic thing that fell and encased his porcine body, on the other hand...
The depressed and enraged, and at rare moments, euphoric pig (who this author has been told profusely by an associate that the pig does NOT suffer from bi-polar disorder) found a kindred spirit. Something that was precariously tossed through a vacuum, unwanted and disgarded, which really upset it. With their united depression and anger, a focus came.
The demonic looking baby pig's tendrils warped and thrashed violently, before settling down. With a hidious smile lined with nail-like shards for teeth, it proclaimed...
"WE ARE CHITLINS! RANMA, YOU SHALL PAY!!!"
Edited 7/1/2002 10:15:10 PM ET by WFROSE