Rain Inside and Out
A/N : READ THE POEM PEOPLE ! From James' POV ! Sorry for taking so long to update, been very busy...
Chapter 2 : Catching Atmosphere
There is such sad love deep in your eyes
The pain you must feel makes me want to cry
I see but nothing a darkened gaze
The tears deep down over your eyes they glaze
I see no smile I wish to help
But after a while your pain is not felt
You don't run to me you run to your shadows
You keep to yourself like it's all that matters
You can run and run but your pain can't hide
All I can see is what you feel on the inside
You do not show it, you act as if all's ok
But I know someday that you'll see it won't go away
- Such Sad Love, Elisabeth Vornbrock
We arrived early at King's Cross as usual, 10h30 that is. Dad circled the neighborhood for what seemed like hours, looking for a parking space then decided to drop mom and me off in front of the station, so I wouldn't miss my train. He said he'd meet up with us later on the platform. The sky was heavy with clouds, the air suffocating with the late summer heat but the world kept turning round, although you could have had reasons to doubt.
" Lily... I want you to have this, " my mother said taking a bracelet off her wrist, once we were on the sidewalk.
" Mom, you know I can't accept it ! " I exclaimed, taking a step backwards. This piece of jewelry was the most precious my mother owned : a bracelet of tiny red roses connected by a silver chain. It was simply beautiful and had been in her family for generations. The tradition was to pass it on from mother to daughter.
" Please, take it with you, " my mother begged.
" I don't want it, you make it sound like...like..."
" It could happen Lily and I don't want Petunia to inherit of it if it does, " she whispered pulling me into a hug, " I don't have anything against your sister, but... it's you it has to belong to now. "
" Mom... " I gasped. My heart sank terribly low. I knew what this meant, not that I was accepting it. My mother pulled away from the hug, took my arm and enclosed the bracelet on my wrist. It fit perfectly.
" You're going to do fabulous, honey, " she said smiling her most charming smile. I laughed slightly. This was my mom : always optimistic, always truthful, always caring. No wonder my dad fell in love with her. " You're the best daughter I could have ever asked for. " I sighed.
" Why are you doing this ? " I couldn't help but ask worriedly.
" Because it has to be done, I want you to hear it from me. Now let's get on that platform otherwise you'll miss your train ! " she answered swiftly. I followed her inside the station, where the crowd was thicker than Petunia's waffle mix and that was saying something. We made our way through the building and managed to reach platform 9 and 10 ten minutes later. We were soon joined by my dad who was pushing a trolley with my trunk on top of it.
" Shall we go, then ? " he asked, thrilled. My dad had always loved to do this, being a Muggle. Magic had always fascinated him. I took the trolley and headed for the barrier between platform 9 and 10. I began running and was soon by the gleaming red steam engine that was the Hogwarts Express.
" Missed me, darling ? " a voice called from behind me. I spun around to see one of my best friends Miss Roxy Strider, walking ever-so-stylishly towards me. This was quite a show for she wasn't at all the sort of girl to bring attention to her, unless it included hexing some foul-language-mumbling Slytherin. Some would have thought her shy, and those would have thought wrong. Roxy just minded her own business. She had shoulder length, wavy brown hair, sky blue eyes and looked stunning as always in a pair of loose jeans and a black jacket. I hugged her tight when she came, I had missed her so much during the summer. We hadn't been randomly talking vacation-guys-on-deserted-beaches for five minutes when my dad came over to tell us we were almost the only ones on the platform left.
" See you at Christmas, Lily, " he said.
" Have a good term, " my mom added. I hugged them both and heard her whisper " I love you, Lily, " in my ear as we did.
" I love you too, " I said before we broke apart. I smiled at both of them and got onto the train with Roxy. We left moments later and tried to find a compartment. Of course, that was mission impossible since we were almost the last ones to have gotten on the train and finding an empty compartment was like finding a needle in the middle of a hay stack.
" Roxy, Lily, over here ! " someone called. Adriane Cloepfil, my other best friend in the world, was waving ridiculously at us from a compartment up ahead, making huge movements with her arms. Smiling like a lunatic, she hadn't changed one bit over the summer. She was wearing black pants and a burgundy hoodie, which matched her curly black hair and dark brown eyes. I entered the compartment, eager to hear everyone's summer adventures when I realized we weren't alone :
" Hell no Adriane, I am not - ? " I started telling her.
" Nice to see you too, " Potter interrupted smiling the one-famous-grin he knew I despised with one hell of a passion.
" Let's go, " I said heading back.
" You know there's no space anywhere else, we must have searched the whole train twice, " Roxy said seating herself next to Black. I should have known.
" Fine, " I said, giving up. I then realized the last two seats were the ones next to Potter. This definitely wasn't my day...
" So how was your summer, Lils ? " he asked me cheerfully. I groaned.
" Don't call me Lils, Potter and yeah, my summer was awful, " I replied.
" Do tell, " Peter said.
" Let's just say I have one hell of a bitchy Muggle sister, but how did your summers go ? " I questioned everyone.
" James and I spent most of it surfing at the beach, I can't remember the name of what it is Remus did and Peter went to Germany, " Black explained.
" I went skydiving Sirius, how many times do I have to tell you ? " Remus exclaimed.
" No way, you went skydiving ?! " I nearly shouted.
" Will somebody explain to dear-old-Padfoot what you're talking about ? " Black asked exasperatingly.
" Basically you get on a plane and jump off of it a couple hundred feet off the ground, " Potter explained.
" Why didn't you tell us ?! " Black asked Remus.
" I did ! " Remus cried. We all laughed.
" How do you know that ? " I asked Potter, surprised.
" Know what ? " he replied.
" Skydiving ! It's a Muggle thing ! " I remarked.
" There's lots of things about me you don't know, " he grinned. What a jerk.
" Shut up, Potter, " I snapped.
" So Lils - "
" Call me that again and I swear I'll make sure to hex you so badly you won't dare walk out of the hospital wing for months considering the deliberate damage I'll have a pleasure to inflict to your egocentric being, " I declared dangerously. For the shortest second in history he seemed to have taken it personally, but that thought left my mind the moment it had crossed it.
" Lily then, I heard you made Head Girl, congratulations ! " he said and actually seemed to mean it.
" You made Head Girl ? And you didn't tell us ?! " Adriane exclaimed half pleased, half disapproving.
" I just found out this morning ! " I retorted.
" You could have told us earlier anyway, " Roxy noticed.
" I guess I... forgot, " I answered truthfully. What my mom had said had totally gotten the subject off my mind.
" Well, you go girl ! " Adriane cried out. That's when I remembered my letter and the disturbing news it contained. I looked at Potter, who was casually leaning against his seat, grinning mischievously.
" So how did you do it ? " I asked him.
" I didn't, in fact I had no idea it'd happen, " he answered simply.
" My ass, you're gonna tell me you actually got picked ? " I shot.
" Seems like it, " he replied.
" Not that we don't know what you're talking about, but what are you talking about ? " Roxy questioned.
" James Potter the infamous Hogwarts git... is Head Boy, " I sighed.
" Seriously ? " Adriane demanded him, stunned.
" Is it that hard to believe ? " he asked.
" Well you're not exactly the one we thought Dumbledore would have chosen is all. I mean, I could have bet your life it'd have been Remus instead of you, " Black explained.
" That's nice, " Potter retorted sardonically.
" Truth hurts, doesn't it ? " Black laughed.
As I started telling Roxy about my trip to Scotland while Adriane pursued the skydiving conversation with Remus, the surroundings outside were changing dramatically : hills and endless prairies I'd never seen in a single muggle geography book quickly replaced the London suburban streets of lined, square houses. Finally, Potter looked at his watch, got up and motioned for me to follow him. When I didn't and looked at him weirdly ( he would probably take me outside to ask me out, I had wondered why he hadn't done it earlier ), he laughed :
" Come on Lils, we got a Head meeting with the Prefects. " Great. He of all people had remembered while I had completely forgotten. Just great. I left the compartment and followed Potter to the Prefect ones. Once we had arrived there, we basically told the fifth years to watch over the situation in the train, some brief introduction to the responsibilities they were to have during the school year and left. Surprising thing was, I barely said anything. Potter wasn't irresponsible in anything he said, which was definitely strange. He was clear and had authority. Had he finally changed ? No... I was imagining things. How could Potter, the prankster at Hogwarts start following school rules ? We went back to the compartment and found another girl there, which I recognized as Roxy's sister, having met her a few times. She was pretty tall for her age, had her beautiful blond hair up in a ponytail and metallic-silver glasses in front of her dark blue eyes that didn't make her look like a nerd at all. On the contrary, they gave her a smart, slightly seductive look.
" Hey Gin, " I said.
" Hi Lily, " she replied.
" I'm James, " Potter introduced himself politely. What the hell ? Since when did Potter politeness logic ?
" Nice to meet you, I'm Gin, Roxy's sister, " she answered joyfully. Potter nodded. She was starting her first year at Hogwarts and Roxy was almost more excited than her sister about it.
" So once you're sorted into Gryffindor, " she told her for what looked like the thousandth time judging from the exasperated look Gin was giving me, " I'll be able to help you with homework and we'll be spending so much time together and we better make the most of it since I'm not going to be here next year and I've barely seen you for the past 6 years anyway... "
To Roxy, the assumption that Gin would be sorted into our house was simply the most obvious thing in the world and she would not let anyone else tell her otherwise. She had always said Gin would be a Gryffindor, just like her, and that was it.
The train ride continued amusingly, Peter beating a depressed-looking Sirius at Exploding Snap and Adriane giving Remus a hard time during a wizard chess game. Roxy and Gin told me about the things they had seen in Japan, while Potter stayed quiet, a word I highly suspected to be nonexistent in his vocabulary. It wasn't until Roxy, who was seated opposite me grinned for no substantial reason that I realized he had been staring at me for I-wasn't-sure-how-long.
" What are you staring at ? " I shot sourly.
" Isn't it obvious ? " he grinned. I rolled my eyes. Thankfully, the train started slowing down : we were almost there.
" Did anybody else forget to put on their school robes ? " I asked. Indeed, everyone in the compartment was still in their normal cloths.
" You can change here ladies, " Black smiled mischievously.
" I think we'll pass on the offer, Sirius, " Roxy retorted before following the rest of the girls outside. We took turns using the bathroom to change into our robes, not exactly planning on doing so in the middle of the corridors. The train stopped shortly after we had finished and we descended from it to meet the cool early-autumn breeze that hung in the air. Gin joined the other first years who would cross the lake by boat while Roxy, Adriane and I headed down the muddy path that lead to the carriages with the rest of the students. We found an empty one and seated ourselves inside. It was a few moments later that the door to the carriage swung open and as if they couldn't possibly leave us girls for more than a few minutes and live to tell the tale, Potter and Black asked to join us, for Remus and Peter had already filled another carriage with some Ravenclaws, or so they said.
" Sure ! " Roxy responded enthusiastically. Why me ?... The carriage rose into the air seconds later and no one said anything. It began to rain slowly and still, we were silent. After a minute or so, the rain was pouring like mad and I realized we'd all be soaked by the time we reached the Great Hall. I felt the carriage beginning to fly lower and lower and soon enough, it had landed in front of the castle. Black went out first, then Roxy, followed by Adriane who was just in front of Potter. I went out last and must have slipped on or missed a step because next thing I knew, I was tripping over my own feet and about to fall ludicrously to the hard ground. Fortunately, a pair of strong arms held me back and kept me on my feet. Unfortunately, those arms belonged to Potter.
" Let go of me, " I hissed. But he refused to. He was just holding me tight, his arms around mine. The icy rain was drenching us to our skins, yet he didn't seem to care. I looked up and instantly realized that was the last thing I should have done. His brilliant hazel eyes had been overwhelming me since the end of sixth year. Though I wasn't sure why, I felt completely trapped in them. Thunder struck. Neither one of us took notice. Strangely, I was convinced I was protected, like nothing could harm me. He was just admiring me, yet there was no grin nor smile playing on his lips. He seemed distant, beyond words. Why did his wet hair have to look so good when it fell so charmingly into his eyes ? Why did our faces, suddenly, have to be so close ? I forgot the wind, the rain, the thunder. I forgot everything.
" Lily, " he said in a low whisper, not breaking eye contact.
" James, " I replied softly, lost in thought, lost for words. Yet the sound of his voice, as enchanting as it was, had awoken something in me that made me break out of my trance. It hit me : I had called him James... The rain suddenly went back to feeling like a fluid blizzard : we were going to freeze to death. Since he wasn't letting me go, I did the first and only thing I could think of.
" Lily ! " Potter exclaimed unbelieving, as he brought a hand to his cheek that I guessed was turning red rather quickly. I broke free from his grip and started walking away.
" What the hell did you do that for ? " he shouted sounding disappointed more than anything else. I spun around.
" You wouldn't let go of me... " I called, " but thanks anyway. "
" For what ? " he asked perplexed.
" Catching me, " I replied casually before stranding him in front of the castle. Merlin, could this day have gotten any weirder ?
James' POV :
She hurried through the enormous doors of the school. The girl of my dreams. I stayed under the freezing rain and I couldn't have cared less about its' existence. My inside emotions were so much stronger than the ones I felt on the outside. She was the only one who could leave me this lost, this confused. I looked back at what had just happened. How could she have discontinued it ? The feeling we shared... a feeling I knew I would never experience with anyone else. Why did it have to be this way ? Why did she have to be so goddamn beautiful, so lovely under the rain ? It was nothing short of magical. Her soft, wild red hair, her astonishing emerald eyes, her exquisite curves, her brilliant mind, her free spirit, her laugh, her smile... Why did she have to hate me ? Why did she play with my heart ? She was driving me utterly crazy...
A/N : please review, tell me what you think ! Anything at all ! By the way, Adriane Cloepfil is a real person, but she has nothing whatsoever to do with the fictional character with her name in this story.
Thanks to :
Gwen : will you stop harassing me now ? lol. Thanks for reviewing darling.
Gin : I love you so much, thank you for reading this, I appreciate having comments from people I have the greatest opinion of !
Lea (The Evil Meow) : thanks love, don't know what I'd do without you...
Amalynne O'Hara : I reviewed your other story actually, I can't remember the name, something about draco. I started your story about Sirius but didn't get too far, I'm pretty busy these days, sorry ! thanks for reviewing !
Citrus Rain : your review got me laughing so hard ! your translation from English to French that is, I believe you wanted to say "it's a well written story" but you ended up saying "well" as in where you get water, not as in good. Thanks for reviewing anyway !