Ranma: Protecter of Nerima
"What this is is madness!" The first man in the lab coat exclaimed to his collegue.
The scientist opposing him snorted, "It's progress! my latest creation will bring a new era to humanity that will remain uprecidented for possibly centuries to come! Imagine, wars ceasing to be a thing of the past. Famine and disease becoming non-existant! Poverty no longer being an issue!"
The first man raised an eyebrow, and held up a small cloth of cotton, and spread it out to reveal a pair of panties, "How in the Hell are these supposed to solve all those problems?"
"Those are all quite simply tragedies that have arisen from unfemenine women!" the first man stated, factually, before taking the panties from his collegue.
"You really are a chauvenist, you know that?"
"Heh, say what you like, but my patented femeninity-enhancing panties have already gone into mass production. By tomorrow, every store will be carrying them, from adult novelty stores, to baby boutiques. They WILL be the hot item for the upcoming XMas season, before spreading worldwide, thus bringing about a new world utopia!"
"You've been sniffing the potent chemicals again, haven't you?"
The second scientist ignored the barb, "All these special panties have been created with my patented chemical compound that will make even the most homely and butch girl seem to be the prime of her gender! No man would be able to resist her! No longer will lonely women take their fustrations out on man by subtly manipulating the world for their own benefit and spite!"
"Look, why don't you just call him back, I'm sure it was all a mis-understanding when he called you an overbearing, sexless, unruly bitch. Maybe it was just a term of endearment?"
The woman glared at the man, before shaking her irritation off, "That is of no consequence."
"But do you realize what you invite upon us? The dangers that will be unleashed?"
The woman scoffed, "If you're concerned about the 'supposed' great demon of Nerima, do not be. I have taken the precautions for securing the production facility for this night only!" She postured dramatically, with a smug countenance, "Not only have I quadrupled out number of severely incompotent guardsmen, raising their already exessive number of one to four, but I have taken the liberties of contacting the very protecter of Nerima himself!"
"The Nerima police force?"
"No, dumbass, Martial Master!"
"I wasn't even talking about that, anyways," the first scientist said with a resigned tone, "I mean there's a reason most guys don't want to procreate with ugly women! Do you WANT them to breed? There's a good reason for natural selection, you know..?"
_________________________
"In this line of duty, we must always be aware of our limits, and meet to exel them," Martial Master stated solumnly to Tom boy, as they looked over the edge of the roof of the rather tall sky scraper.
Tom Boy stepped back, nervously from the edge, "Ah, what does this have to do with my training?"
Martial Master didn't seem to hear the question, "If we are to protect those ignorant masses below us, we must put aside our fears. For then, our true power shall be unleashed against those that oppress us."
"Who oppresses us? You're not training me to get rid of my fear of heights, are you?" Tom Boy asked, sceptically, particularly since she didn't have an unhealthy fear of heights.
Martial Master adjusted the dark sunglasses that were currently replacing his mask, "They may not appreciate us at all times, they may even fear us, but throughtout all this, you must remember one important thing..."
"Which is?" Tom Boy asked, engrossed with the solumn and stirring speech the pigtailed superhero gave her.
Martial Master looked towards his sidekick intensely; his eyes burning from behind his shade, as the trenchcoat he wore to replace his cape billowed in the wind, "There is no spoon."
Tom Boy blinked, "What the hell is that supposed to MEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnn*."
Martial Master looked down at the plunging sidekick with a pensive frown, as his arm was still extended from pushing her off the roof. He finally broke out of his slight disapporintment to reassurer his partner in justice, "Don't worry! Nobodie's ever pass the jump progra on their first try!"
At that moment, Ranma looked to the sky, finding his logo reflecting off of some convenient clouds. "There's dastardliness, amiss. Tom Boy, we have an obligation to perform! Let us be off!"
"Why don't you step closer to the ledge, and I'll show you what it's like to be 'off', Tom Boy growled, tenatiously clinging to the side of the building.
___________________________
Silently, Martial Master landed upon the steel roof framing of the industrial building, kneeling and wrapping his cape around himself ominously. Tom Boy landed next to him, and blinked.
"Uh, Ranm... Martial Master, what are you doing?"
Martial Master looked up at his sidekick, and began to feel slightly self-concious, "Uh, you don't like my posturing?"
Tom Boy tilted her head, "Actually, it looks pretty cool! I just wanted to know why you were doing it."
"Heh, to look cool!" the valiant martial artist replied in a dark and gritty tone.
"Jerk..."
"What's that for?" Martial Master turned to look at his cohort with an irritated expression, causing the blank white slits in his mask he had for eyes to narrow in that really cool superhero way.
"Because you're showing off! Can't you just grow up?"
"I don't wanna grow up-"
"You sing that damn jingle one more time, and I WILL not hesitate to kill you," Tom Boy warned.
Instead of testing her resolve, Ranma became easily distracted, as he spotted a very suspicious individual, "YOU THERE!!!"
The man in the red-rocket helmet, who was currently traversing across a narrow, railless walkway that spanned across two vats of hazardous chemicals , baulked when he noticed he had been spotted "NO! I was paid to do this! I'm just an out of work comediaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn*"
::SPLASH::
Martial Master and Tomboy stared at the man flailing within the vat of chemicals, screaming as if they were burning his body inside out, while his skin began to turn a pasty white.
"Gee, what was that all about?" Tom Boy enquired. Martial Master shrugged.
"I just wanted to ask him if he had seen anyone suspicious around..."
"Anyways, Martial Master, why are we here? You get a tip off about industrial espionage?"
Martial Master shook his head.
"Eco-terrorist intending to blow this place sky-high?"
Martial Master shook his head again.
"Uh, then what is this all about?"
Martial Master's eyes narrowed in that really cool way again, "Money."
"Money?" Tom Boy stared, confused, until her expression changed to one of non-plussed, "Someone paid for us to be here?" The sidekick turned to the man in flailing around in the chemical vat, laughing like an insane madman, "WOULD YOU SHUT UP? YOU'RE NOT EVEN PART OF THIS STORY!"
Martial Master nodded enthuesiastically, "Yup! Easiest cash I've ever made!"
"So what's my cut?" Tom Boy demanded, placing her fists on her hips in a rather boyish...
::SMACK!!!::
...ouch... rather femenine manner.
Tom Boy lowered her hand from backhanding the narrator that had been standing over her shoulder, "Well?"
Martial Master returned her glare, "Drycleaning for that outfit doesn't come cheap, you know?"
Tom Boy began to pout, as Martial Master surveyed the numerous vats of chemicals and women's panties, "He's here."
"Who's here?"
Martial Master pointed ahead, to a miniscule being, carrying a large sack over its shoulders.
"Happosai? We're here to take on Happosai?" Tom Boy said, incredulously, before wrapping her arms across her chest, "I just remembered, I have a LOT of homework to do, wish you lu-"
"Nu-uh," Martial master grabbed Tom Boy by the cape, before she could escape.
"Sweeto!" Happosai had indeed caught wind of the expiramental panties, developed particularly to enhance the femeninity of women everywhere. He was awed at the ingenuity of the idea, but felt such a blessed creation could never suffer such a mundane fate as to be simple undergarments for homely and desperate members of the fairer sex.
"HAPPOSAI! YOUR NEFARIOUS DEEDS COME TO AN END NOW!"
"WHAT?" Happosai looked up, to find Nerima's resident crime-fighting duo charging forth. Martial Master pulled out his martial master-ang, and launched it at a security camera, before leaping up, and snap kicking another one to pieces.
"Uh, What the Hell are you doing?" Both Tom Boy and Happosai enquired.
Martial Master paused, "Dunno, but it's sure a Hell of a lot of fun!" Both Tom Boy and Happosai looked at each other, shrugged, and joined in. Martial Master's sidekick swung her mallet-staff around with uncanny skill, rendering any security camera that was within her range to so much crushed components, as Happosai demolished several with precise lobs of his Happo-fire bursts.
Once the final camera had been destroyed, Martial Master landed to face Happosai, with his cape wrapped around him, and hunched over like some looming dark specter, "Now, it's time to finish this."
Happosai stood up from smoking his pipe, and put it away, "Agreed... what are we fighting for, anyways?"
"Killing time," Martial Master retorted, menacingly.
"Sorry, but I don't have much to kill!" Happosai quickly gathered his sack of femenine garments, and lept to make a break for it, "Thanks for the swell time, sonny! We have to do it again some-urk!"
Happosai hovered for several moments, as his face seemed implanted in the head of Tom Boy's mallet staff. "Exellent work, Tom Boy!" Martial Master congradulated, earning Tom Boy's smile of satisfaction.
The elderly martial artist slid from the weapon, and plunged face-first into a vat of enhanced panties. "Ew... remind me never to buy whatever brand these are," Tom Boy stated with disgust.
Martial Master looked down in remorse at the life he could not save, wishing there was more he could have done to spare the old man such a tragic fate, "Hey, Tom Boy, you hungry?"
At the notion of food, both turned to leave, failing to notice the pasty white hand, no the other pasty white hand. NOT THE LEFT HAND OF THE OTHER GUY, YOU MORON! THE ONE REACHING OUT FROM THE VAT OF PANTIES! Yes, that one! Boy, you guys are so easily confused.
The hand suddenly dunked back into the vat of panties, and resurfaced with a bomb, before lobbing it at the chemical vat, seven vats down that contained the hysterically laughing idiot with green hair, and red lipstick.
"WOULD YOU SHUT UP OVER THERE? YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!" The owner of the hand that just threw the bomb shouted out, just before the explosion sounded...
"What this is is madness!" The first man in the lab coat exclaimed to his collegue.
The scientist opposing him snorted, "It's progress! my latest creation will bring a new era to humanity that will remain uprecidented for possibly centuries to come! Imagine, wars ceasing to be a thing of the past. Famine and disease becoming non-existant! Poverty no longer being an issue!"
The first man raised an eyebrow, and held up a small cloth of cotton, and spread it out to reveal a pair of panties, "How in the Hell are these supposed to solve all those problems?"
"Those are all quite simply tragedies that have arisen from unfemenine women!" the first man stated, factually, before taking the panties from his collegue.
"You really are a chauvenist, you know that?"
"Heh, say what you like, but my patented femeninity-enhancing panties have already gone into mass production. By tomorrow, every store will be carrying them, from adult novelty stores, to baby boutiques. They WILL be the hot item for the upcoming XMas season, before spreading worldwide, thus bringing about a new world utopia!"
"You've been sniffing the potent chemicals again, haven't you?"
The second scientist ignored the barb, "All these special panties have been created with my patented chemical compound that will make even the most homely and butch girl seem to be the prime of her gender! No man would be able to resist her! No longer will lonely women take their fustrations out on man by subtly manipulating the world for their own benefit and spite!"
"Look, why don't you just call him back, I'm sure it was all a mis-understanding when he called you an overbearing, sexless, unruly bitch. Maybe it was just a term of endearment?"
The woman glared at the man, before shaking her irritation off, "That is of no consequence."
"But do you realize what you invite upon us? The dangers that will be unleashed?"
The woman scoffed, "If you're concerned about the 'supposed' great demon of Nerima, do not be. I have taken the precautions for securing the production facility for this night only!" She postured dramatically, with a smug countenance, "Not only have I quadrupled out number of severely incompotent guardsmen, raising their already exessive number of one to four, but I have taken the liberties of contacting the very protecter of Nerima himself!"
"The Nerima police force?"
"No, dumbass, Martial Master!"
"I wasn't even talking about that, anyways," the first scientist said with a resigned tone, "I mean there's a reason most guys don't want to procreate with ugly women! Do you WANT them to breed? There's a good reason for natural selection, you know..?"
_________________________
"In this line of duty, we must always be aware of our limits, and meet to exel them," Martial Master stated solumnly to Tom boy, as they looked over the edge of the roof of the rather tall sky scraper.
Tom Boy stepped back, nervously from the edge, "Ah, what does this have to do with my training?"
Martial Master didn't seem to hear the question, "If we are to protect those ignorant masses below us, we must put aside our fears. For then, our true power shall be unleashed against those that oppress us."
"Who oppresses us? You're not training me to get rid of my fear of heights, are you?" Tom Boy asked, sceptically, particularly since she didn't have an unhealthy fear of heights.
Martial Master adjusted the dark sunglasses that were currently replacing his mask, "They may not appreciate us at all times, they may even fear us, but throughtout all this, you must remember one important thing..."
"Which is?" Tom Boy asked, engrossed with the solumn and stirring speech the pigtailed superhero gave her.
Martial Master looked towards his sidekick intensely; his eyes burning from behind his shade, as the trenchcoat he wore to replace his cape billowed in the wind, "There is no spoon."
Tom Boy blinked, "What the hell is that supposed to MEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnn*."
Martial Master looked down at the plunging sidekick with a pensive frown, as his arm was still extended from pushing her off the roof. He finally broke out of his slight disapporintment to reassurer his partner in justice, "Don't worry! Nobodie's ever pass the jump progra on their first try!"
At that moment, Ranma looked to the sky, finding his logo reflecting off of some convenient clouds. "There's dastardliness, amiss. Tom Boy, we have an obligation to perform! Let us be off!"
"Why don't you step closer to the ledge, and I'll show you what it's like to be 'off', Tom Boy growled, tenatiously clinging to the side of the building.
___________________________
Silently, Martial Master landed upon the steel roof framing of the industrial building, kneeling and wrapping his cape around himself ominously. Tom Boy landed next to him, and blinked.
"Uh, Ranm... Martial Master, what are you doing?"
Martial Master looked up at his sidekick, and began to feel slightly self-concious, "Uh, you don't like my posturing?"
Tom Boy tilted her head, "Actually, it looks pretty cool! I just wanted to know why you were doing it."
"Heh, to look cool!" the valiant martial artist replied in a dark and gritty tone.
"Jerk..."
"What's that for?" Martial Master turned to look at his cohort with an irritated expression, causing the blank white slits in his mask he had for eyes to narrow in that really cool superhero way.
"Because you're showing off! Can't you just grow up?"
"I don't wanna grow up-"
"You sing that damn jingle one more time, and I WILL not hesitate to kill you," Tom Boy warned.
Instead of testing her resolve, Ranma became easily distracted, as he spotted a very suspicious individual, "YOU THERE!!!"
The man in the red-rocket helmet, who was currently traversing across a narrow, railless walkway that spanned across two vats of hazardous chemicals , baulked when he noticed he had been spotted "NO! I was paid to do this! I'm just an out of work comediaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn*"
::SPLASH::
Martial Master and Tomboy stared at the man flailing within the vat of chemicals, screaming as if they were burning his body inside out, while his skin began to turn a pasty white.
"Gee, what was that all about?" Tom Boy enquired. Martial Master shrugged.
"I just wanted to ask him if he had seen anyone suspicious around..."
"Anyways, Martial Master, why are we here? You get a tip off about industrial espionage?"
Martial Master shook his head.
"Eco-terrorist intending to blow this place sky-high?"
Martial Master shook his head again.
"Uh, then what is this all about?"
Martial Master's eyes narrowed in that really cool way again, "Money."
"Money?" Tom Boy stared, confused, until her expression changed to one of non-plussed, "Someone paid for us to be here?" The sidekick turned to the man in flailing around in the chemical vat, laughing like an insane madman, "WOULD YOU SHUT UP? YOU'RE NOT EVEN PART OF THIS STORY!"
Martial Master nodded enthuesiastically, "Yup! Easiest cash I've ever made!"
"So what's my cut?" Tom Boy demanded, placing her fists on her hips in a rather boyish...
::SMACK!!!::
...ouch... rather femenine manner.
Tom Boy lowered her hand from backhanding the narrator that had been standing over her shoulder, "Well?"
Martial Master returned her glare, "Drycleaning for that outfit doesn't come cheap, you know?"
Tom Boy began to pout, as Martial Master surveyed the numerous vats of chemicals and women's panties, "He's here."
"Who's here?"
Martial Master pointed ahead, to a miniscule being, carrying a large sack over its shoulders.
"Happosai? We're here to take on Happosai?" Tom Boy said, incredulously, before wrapping her arms across her chest, "I just remembered, I have a LOT of homework to do, wish you lu-"
"Nu-uh," Martial master grabbed Tom Boy by the cape, before she could escape.
"Sweeto!" Happosai had indeed caught wind of the expiramental panties, developed particularly to enhance the femeninity of women everywhere. He was awed at the ingenuity of the idea, but felt such a blessed creation could never suffer such a mundane fate as to be simple undergarments for homely and desperate members of the fairer sex.
"HAPPOSAI! YOUR NEFARIOUS DEEDS COME TO AN END NOW!"
"WHAT?" Happosai looked up, to find Nerima's resident crime-fighting duo charging forth. Martial Master pulled out his martial master-ang, and launched it at a security camera, before leaping up, and snap kicking another one to pieces.
"Uh, What the Hell are you doing?" Both Tom Boy and Happosai enquired.
Martial Master paused, "Dunno, but it's sure a Hell of a lot of fun!" Both Tom Boy and Happosai looked at each other, shrugged, and joined in. Martial Master's sidekick swung her mallet-staff around with uncanny skill, rendering any security camera that was within her range to so much crushed components, as Happosai demolished several with precise lobs of his Happo-fire bursts.
Once the final camera had been destroyed, Martial Master landed to face Happosai, with his cape wrapped around him, and hunched over like some looming dark specter, "Now, it's time to finish this."
Happosai stood up from smoking his pipe, and put it away, "Agreed... what are we fighting for, anyways?"
"Killing time," Martial Master retorted, menacingly.
"Sorry, but I don't have much to kill!" Happosai quickly gathered his sack of femenine garments, and lept to make a break for it, "Thanks for the swell time, sonny! We have to do it again some-urk!"
Happosai hovered for several moments, as his face seemed implanted in the head of Tom Boy's mallet staff. "Exellent work, Tom Boy!" Martial Master congradulated, earning Tom Boy's smile of satisfaction.
The elderly martial artist slid from the weapon, and plunged face-first into a vat of enhanced panties. "Ew... remind me never to buy whatever brand these are," Tom Boy stated with disgust.
Martial Master looked down in remorse at the life he could not save, wishing there was more he could have done to spare the old man such a tragic fate, "Hey, Tom Boy, you hungry?"
At the notion of food, both turned to leave, failing to notice the pasty white hand, no the other pasty white hand. NOT THE LEFT HAND OF THE OTHER GUY, YOU MORON! THE ONE REACHING OUT FROM THE VAT OF PANTIES! Yes, that one! Boy, you guys are so easily confused.
The hand suddenly dunked back into the vat of panties, and resurfaced with a bomb, before lobbing it at the chemical vat, seven vats down that contained the hysterically laughing idiot with green hair, and red lipstick.
"WOULD YOU SHUT UP OVER THERE? YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!" The owner of the hand that just threw the bomb shouted out, just before the explosion sounded...