Ranma; Protector of Nerima
Episode 12
'Acts of Perversity!'
"You set me up, Jack," The man in the shadows growled, as unseen eyes glared at the man in the robe.
The man in the robe blinked, and took a swig from his glass of brandy, "We need to stop."
"..." said the man in the shadows, before adding, "..."
"You know all the shit going around nowadays about plagiarism in fanfics. Just think of all the flack we'll catch for this!"
"..." the man in the shadows replied, and then continued, "What the hell are you talking about?"
The other man pointed towards the camera they were being filmed through, "How about we switch to a scene of more relevance to this story?"
________________________
MARTIAL MASTER INSIGNIA COMMITS RITUAL SUICIDE TO SIGNIFY SCENE CHANGE
________________________
"Ranma?" Akane asked, as she approached the redhead who was chuckling wildly, as she pet her box...
::WHAP!!!::
"Ranma, are you listening to me?" Akane enquired, as she retracted her hand from backslapping the narrator for using a tired ass joke for the second time.
"I just have fourteen more yen to go, and then it shall be mine!" Ranma-chan crowed, resting her hand on her.... um... temporary intable. "Soon, oh so soon, I can begin my campaign of citywide domination!"
"Oh, I'm so glad you have your lifetime goals in order," Akane dry-toned, after finally dropping her hand from a ready-bitchslap position, and passing a withering glance at the narrator. "By the way, Ranma, I've been meaning to ask you..."
"IMPUDENT WELP," Ranma bellowed in Akane's face, leaning towards the other girl from her somewhat comfortable stick furniture she purchased from a U.S. military surplus store, "Mut imph m u aunt?"
"What? I couldn't understand what you just said, let me remove my fist from your mouth," Akane jerked her fist away, as Ranma realigned her jaw.
"What is it you want?"
"Why is that black guy following us around all the time, talking in that annoying loud voice while describing everything we do as Martial Master and... Tom Boy from those script papers?"
"He needed a hobby," Ranma replied idly.
"Ranma, sandpaper-dry prude bitch, come quickly!"
At the call of Kasumi's urgent voice, both Ranma and Akane quickly leapt from the roof of the Tendou home, and rushed into the house. Well, Akane rushed, Ranma limped, forgetting the flowerless rose bush that Kasumi had planted a few days ago.
They both came to the tearoom to find Kasumi, Nabiki, Soun, and Genma in front of the TV...
"[...as been robbed completely of their product, which had just finally been given the go ahead for release, after rigorous testing to ensure public safety. The expiramental women's undergarments..."
Ranma-chan dumped a kettle over her head, and then rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Hmm, I don't get it..."
"Don't get what, Ranma?" Akane asked, pretty sure she knew that Happosai had survived his tragic accident. Maybe they shoulda made sure he fell into a deeper vat.
"Why did you call us in here to see this?" Ranma asked, glaring suspiciously at Kasumi.
The eldest Tendou daughter wrung her hair nervously, "Well, Ranma-kun. You, um, you aren't very discreet, I mean, and I.. that is.."
"Um... what my daughter means to say... is that... *ahem*... well the peculiar costumes in your closet, and the sliding poles... those are quite fun, by tye way... Well... they just give us the notion that... you two just... may be..."
"Interested in dealing with these... things..." Kasumi finished, not meeting her man eye to eye. "It's rather obvious of you two and your... alternative lives..."
"Quite right!" Soun added, nodding avidly.
"What's this about alternative lives?" Genma enquired in a demanding tone, "RANMA! Don't tell me you're visiting those gay bars again!"
"HEY!" Ranma screamed, eyeing Kasumi and Akane fearfully, before leaning towards his father and whispering, "We agreed we would never mention that again... Cowboy Bob..."
"Didn't Daddy already give you the 'New Ranma' speech, Akane?" Nabiki enquired in a bored tone, still watching the TV. Kasumi and Soun gave Nabiki and Genma hooded gazes, respectively.
________________________
DISEMBOWLED MARTIAL MASTER INSIGNIA CRAWLS ACROSS THE SCREEN TO SIGNIFY A SCENE CHANGE
________________________
Tom Boy looked through the cockpit of the vehicle she was riding in, while Martial Master drove. She then looked at all the nifty and cool looking buttons on the dashboard, "Wow, the Martial Mastermobile looks awesome!"
Martial Master's white, triangle eyes narrowed, "Thank you, I picked it myself."
"Where did you get it?"
"You know that ominous looking garage just outside of Nerima. The one with the guy that rices up vehicles with insane gagets and such?"
"Oh, yeah, I know the guy!" Tom Boy exclaimed.
"I stole it from him."
Tom Boy's enteusiasm halted abruptely, "Stole it?"
"Yup, then spray-painted it this nifty red and black. It was Lunar silver."
Tom Boy's face began to frown, "You stole it, then vandalized it?"
Martial Master's head nodded in that really cool sinister looking way.
"Come to think of it, exactly *when* did you get your liscense? Kasumi vowed that he would never let you near the driver's side of the car after the first ten minutes she attempted to teach you..."
"I don't need no stinking liscense."
The Martial Mastermobile rushed down Tokyo Highway with it's high-velocity thruster in full blast, plowing other cars out of the way that weren't quick enough to veer to the side in safety, as Tom Boy desperately pounded on the cockpit style window of the cap in a futile plea for rescue.
________________________
Martial Master and Tom Boy arrived amidst downtown Nerima, bearing witness to the awesome chaos ensuing. Everywhere, people were running in panic, running in terror, you know, the type of stuff freaked out crowds tend to do.
"SOMEBODY HELP ME! I CAN'T STOP FLASHING MY PANTIES!!!" one girl screamed desperately, as she ran up to various men, lifting her skirt for good view.
"Oh dear, someone should help that girl!" one young man exclaimed, taking pictures.
"It's such a shame!" another boy cried out in horror, as he tilted his head to the side to get a better look.
"I CAN'T STOP THESE URGES!!" another girl screamed out, grabbing anybody or anything close enough, and licking them in the ear.
"MY BUTTOX KEEPS TENSING UP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!!!"
"SOMEBODY, SPANK ME BEFORE I GO MAD!!!"
"SOMEBODY MAKE THE GYRATING GO AWAY!!!"
"I THINK THERE'S A GOOSE IN MY PANTIES!!!"
"HORNINESS TICKLES!!!"
Martial Master and Tom Boy looked at each other in shock. "This isn't another orgy convention, is it?" Tom Boy enquired, her expression growing distasteful.
Martial Master's eyes narrowed, as he wrapped his cape tightly around himself, "No. That's during the month of May. Something's wrong."
"Right-o, my boy!"
Martial Master and Tom Boy turned to look up at the nearby light pole, finding the light too bright to see who owned the voice."
"Could you come down from there, we can't see you," Tom Boy asked, politely, while shielding her eyes.
"Well, drat, there goes my dramatic entrance!" A figure dropped from the top of the light, landing before the crimefighting duo.
"Who?" Tom Boy pointed at the diminuative man with a wide grin plastered across his pasty white face, with red hair encircling his crown.
Martial Master narrowed his eyes, as he answered his sidekick's question, and announced their latest villian in a cool and dark voice, "Bozo the Clown."
Martial Master's head snapped back, as he was uppercut with a smoking pipe. "Show some respect, you little puke!" The villian of the moment, possibly Martial Master's greatest challenge yet, demanded. With his mad grin, he turned and looked at the anarchy beyond them.
"I have to thank you, Martial Master. If it weren't for you, I would never have been able to make this happen!"
Tom Boy glared at Martial Master. "HEY! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" Martial Master defended himself at his sidekicks silent accusation, "Wait a minute, how is it my fault?"
"You remember last night? The man you let fall into the vats in that textile factory?" The sinister midget grinned, "This is what I became as result of that tragic accident."
Martial Master's triangular eyes widened into full circles in shocked realization, and pointed at the short man, "YOU! You're the man with that phallic looking helmet!"
Tom Boy interjected, "Actually, I think that was supposed to be a red rocket helmet."
"Whatever," Martial Master replied, "To me, it lookes like a large head of a pe-"
"BACK ON TRACK, YOU TWO!" The midget demanded, "No, the OTHER guy you dropped in the vats! You two had a busy night last night, didn'tja?"
Tom Boy and Martial Master looked around with chagrinned expressions.
"When you dropped me in that vat of femenine enhancing panties, the chemicals they were laced with interacted with my battle aura. It altered me into what I am now... but something else happened..."
"What? What?" Both Martial Master and Tom Boy demanded earnestly, as they sat in theator seats, munching on popcorn.
"The panties and bras in that vat became altered as well," the villian continued in a malicious tone, "Now, anyone who dawns the the chemically enhanced garments that have come in contact with my battle aura will not be able to stop their perverted actions! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!"
"You SICK fiend!" Martial Master exclaimed, picking for the left over popcorn through the abundance of unpopped kernels, "Tom Boy, really, you were supposed to leave these in the microwave for FIVE minutes!"
"I WAS PRESSED FOR TIME!"
"ENOUGH!" The red-headed midget stood to his full two feet, "IT IS TIME THAT YOU RUE THE DAY YOU CROSSED PATHS WITH... THE HENTAI!!! HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!"
WILL MARTIAL MASTER AND TOM BOY BE ABLE TO OVERCOME THE NEFARIOUS HENTAI? WILL THEY TRIUMPH, OR BE FORCED TO UNSPEAKABLE ACTS OF PERVERSITY?
::WHAP!!::
"For ONCE, could you NOT shout like that?" Tom Boy demanded.
"Do you have a bra and pantie set in baige?"
The narrator and Tom Boy turned wary glances towards Martial Master.
"They're for Kasumi!" After his defense, he turned to look away innocently...
TUNE IN-
::WHAP!!!::
"Don't make me use my mallet-staff next time!"
Tune in some Martial Master time, some Martial Master Channel! There, happy? It just lost all it's dynamic energy when I say it quietly.
Tom Boy shrugged, "I guess."
Episode 12
'Acts of Perversity!'
"You set me up, Jack," The man in the shadows growled, as unseen eyes glared at the man in the robe.
The man in the robe blinked, and took a swig from his glass of brandy, "We need to stop."
"..." said the man in the shadows, before adding, "..."
"You know all the shit going around nowadays about plagiarism in fanfics. Just think of all the flack we'll catch for this!"
"..." the man in the shadows replied, and then continued, "What the hell are you talking about?"
The other man pointed towards the camera they were being filmed through, "How about we switch to a scene of more relevance to this story?"
________________________
MARTIAL MASTER INSIGNIA COMMITS RITUAL SUICIDE TO SIGNIFY SCENE CHANGE
________________________
"Ranma?" Akane asked, as she approached the redhead who was chuckling wildly, as she pet her box...
::WHAP!!!::
"Ranma, are you listening to me?" Akane enquired, as she retracted her hand from backslapping the narrator for using a tired ass joke for the second time.
"I just have fourteen more yen to go, and then it shall be mine!" Ranma-chan crowed, resting her hand on her.... um... temporary intable. "Soon, oh so soon, I can begin my campaign of citywide domination!"
"Oh, I'm so glad you have your lifetime goals in order," Akane dry-toned, after finally dropping her hand from a ready-bitchslap position, and passing a withering glance at the narrator. "By the way, Ranma, I've been meaning to ask you..."
"IMPUDENT WELP," Ranma bellowed in Akane's face, leaning towards the other girl from her somewhat comfortable stick furniture she purchased from a U.S. military surplus store, "Mut imph m u aunt?"
"What? I couldn't understand what you just said, let me remove my fist from your mouth," Akane jerked her fist away, as Ranma realigned her jaw.
"What is it you want?"
"Why is that black guy following us around all the time, talking in that annoying loud voice while describing everything we do as Martial Master and... Tom Boy from those script papers?"
"He needed a hobby," Ranma replied idly.
"Ranma, sandpaper-dry prude bitch, come quickly!"
At the call of Kasumi's urgent voice, both Ranma and Akane quickly leapt from the roof of the Tendou home, and rushed into the house. Well, Akane rushed, Ranma limped, forgetting the flowerless rose bush that Kasumi had planted a few days ago.
They both came to the tearoom to find Kasumi, Nabiki, Soun, and Genma in front of the TV...
"[...as been robbed completely of their product, which had just finally been given the go ahead for release, after rigorous testing to ensure public safety. The expiramental women's undergarments..."
Ranma-chan dumped a kettle over her head, and then rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Hmm, I don't get it..."
"Don't get what, Ranma?" Akane asked, pretty sure she knew that Happosai had survived his tragic accident. Maybe they shoulda made sure he fell into a deeper vat.
"Why did you call us in here to see this?" Ranma asked, glaring suspiciously at Kasumi.
The eldest Tendou daughter wrung her hair nervously, "Well, Ranma-kun. You, um, you aren't very discreet, I mean, and I.. that is.."
"Um... what my daughter means to say... is that... *ahem*... well the peculiar costumes in your closet, and the sliding poles... those are quite fun, by tye way... Well... they just give us the notion that... you two just... may be..."
"Interested in dealing with these... things..." Kasumi finished, not meeting her man eye to eye. "It's rather obvious of you two and your... alternative lives..."
"Quite right!" Soun added, nodding avidly.
"What's this about alternative lives?" Genma enquired in a demanding tone, "RANMA! Don't tell me you're visiting those gay bars again!"
"HEY!" Ranma screamed, eyeing Kasumi and Akane fearfully, before leaning towards his father and whispering, "We agreed we would never mention that again... Cowboy Bob..."
"Didn't Daddy already give you the 'New Ranma' speech, Akane?" Nabiki enquired in a bored tone, still watching the TV. Kasumi and Soun gave Nabiki and Genma hooded gazes, respectively.
________________________
DISEMBOWLED MARTIAL MASTER INSIGNIA CRAWLS ACROSS THE SCREEN TO SIGNIFY A SCENE CHANGE
________________________
Tom Boy looked through the cockpit of the vehicle she was riding in, while Martial Master drove. She then looked at all the nifty and cool looking buttons on the dashboard, "Wow, the Martial Mastermobile looks awesome!"
Martial Master's white, triangle eyes narrowed, "Thank you, I picked it myself."
"Where did you get it?"
"You know that ominous looking garage just outside of Nerima. The one with the guy that rices up vehicles with insane gagets and such?"
"Oh, yeah, I know the guy!" Tom Boy exclaimed.
"I stole it from him."
Tom Boy's enteusiasm halted abruptely, "Stole it?"
"Yup, then spray-painted it this nifty red and black. It was Lunar silver."
Tom Boy's face began to frown, "You stole it, then vandalized it?"
Martial Master's head nodded in that really cool sinister looking way.
"Come to think of it, exactly *when* did you get your liscense? Kasumi vowed that he would never let you near the driver's side of the car after the first ten minutes she attempted to teach you..."
"I don't need no stinking liscense."
The Martial Mastermobile rushed down Tokyo Highway with it's high-velocity thruster in full blast, plowing other cars out of the way that weren't quick enough to veer to the side in safety, as Tom Boy desperately pounded on the cockpit style window of the cap in a futile plea for rescue.
________________________
Martial Master and Tom Boy arrived amidst downtown Nerima, bearing witness to the awesome chaos ensuing. Everywhere, people were running in panic, running in terror, you know, the type of stuff freaked out crowds tend to do.
"SOMEBODY HELP ME! I CAN'T STOP FLASHING MY PANTIES!!!" one girl screamed desperately, as she ran up to various men, lifting her skirt for good view.
"Oh dear, someone should help that girl!" one young man exclaimed, taking pictures.
"It's such a shame!" another boy cried out in horror, as he tilted his head to the side to get a better look.
"I CAN'T STOP THESE URGES!!" another girl screamed out, grabbing anybody or anything close enough, and licking them in the ear.
"MY BUTTOX KEEPS TENSING UP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!!!"
"SOMEBODY, SPANK ME BEFORE I GO MAD!!!"
"SOMEBODY MAKE THE GYRATING GO AWAY!!!"
"I THINK THERE'S A GOOSE IN MY PANTIES!!!"
"HORNINESS TICKLES!!!"
Martial Master and Tom Boy looked at each other in shock. "This isn't another orgy convention, is it?" Tom Boy enquired, her expression growing distasteful.
Martial Master's eyes narrowed, as he wrapped his cape tightly around himself, "No. That's during the month of May. Something's wrong."
"Right-o, my boy!"
Martial Master and Tom Boy turned to look up at the nearby light pole, finding the light too bright to see who owned the voice."
"Could you come down from there, we can't see you," Tom Boy asked, politely, while shielding her eyes.
"Well, drat, there goes my dramatic entrance!" A figure dropped from the top of the light, landing before the crimefighting duo.
"Who?" Tom Boy pointed at the diminuative man with a wide grin plastered across his pasty white face, with red hair encircling his crown.
Martial Master narrowed his eyes, as he answered his sidekick's question, and announced their latest villian in a cool and dark voice, "Bozo the Clown."
Martial Master's head snapped back, as he was uppercut with a smoking pipe. "Show some respect, you little puke!" The villian of the moment, possibly Martial Master's greatest challenge yet, demanded. With his mad grin, he turned and looked at the anarchy beyond them.
"I have to thank you, Martial Master. If it weren't for you, I would never have been able to make this happen!"
Tom Boy glared at Martial Master. "HEY! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" Martial Master defended himself at his sidekicks silent accusation, "Wait a minute, how is it my fault?"
"You remember last night? The man you let fall into the vats in that textile factory?" The sinister midget grinned, "This is what I became as result of that tragic accident."
Martial Master's triangular eyes widened into full circles in shocked realization, and pointed at the short man, "YOU! You're the man with that phallic looking helmet!"
Tom Boy interjected, "Actually, I think that was supposed to be a red rocket helmet."
"Whatever," Martial Master replied, "To me, it lookes like a large head of a pe-"
"BACK ON TRACK, YOU TWO!" The midget demanded, "No, the OTHER guy you dropped in the vats! You two had a busy night last night, didn'tja?"
Tom Boy and Martial Master looked around with chagrinned expressions.
"When you dropped me in that vat of femenine enhancing panties, the chemicals they were laced with interacted with my battle aura. It altered me into what I am now... but something else happened..."
"What? What?" Both Martial Master and Tom Boy demanded earnestly, as they sat in theator seats, munching on popcorn.
"The panties and bras in that vat became altered as well," the villian continued in a malicious tone, "Now, anyone who dawns the the chemically enhanced garments that have come in contact with my battle aura will not be able to stop their perverted actions! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!"
"You SICK fiend!" Martial Master exclaimed, picking for the left over popcorn through the abundance of unpopped kernels, "Tom Boy, really, you were supposed to leave these in the microwave for FIVE minutes!"
"I WAS PRESSED FOR TIME!"
"ENOUGH!" The red-headed midget stood to his full two feet, "IT IS TIME THAT YOU RUE THE DAY YOU CROSSED PATHS WITH... THE HENTAI!!! HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!"
WILL MARTIAL MASTER AND TOM BOY BE ABLE TO OVERCOME THE NEFARIOUS HENTAI? WILL THEY TRIUMPH, OR BE FORCED TO UNSPEAKABLE ACTS OF PERVERSITY?
::WHAP!!::
"For ONCE, could you NOT shout like that?" Tom Boy demanded.
"Do you have a bra and pantie set in baige?"
The narrator and Tom Boy turned wary glances towards Martial Master.
"They're for Kasumi!" After his defense, he turned to look away innocently...
TUNE IN-
::WHAP!!!::
"Don't make me use my mallet-staff next time!"
Tune in some Martial Master time, some Martial Master Channel! There, happy? It just lost all it's dynamic energy when I say it quietly.
Tom Boy shrugged, "I guess."