'Ranma: Protecter of Nerima'
WHEN LAST WE LEFT OUR HEROS...
"Oh shut the hell up, we don't need a recap!" The Hentai demanded, stuffing a pair of panties into the narrator's mouth. The man gagged, before his eyes lit up, and he removed the undergament from his throat. After a moment's contemplation, the narrator but them back into his mouth, and walked away, sucking happily on the chemical tainted fabric.
The pasty faced villian cackled. The two do-gooders had been trapped in his nefarious... uh... trap, for ten minutes! Pinching his nose in preparation for the obnoxious smell that could only been originated by both a sweaty man and woman in the midst of something that usually involved at least an enchinida, an oil based salad dressing, and a pair and a half of stiletto heeled shoes, the evil baddy person opened the plastic lid that was covering the massive tupperware bowl they were encased in. In triumph, the Hentai reeled back to roar in triumph at the sound of-
"Go Fish."
"I thought we were playing gin," Martial Master replied, confused.
The Hentai baulked, shocked at the sight of decency before him, "Bu... bu... how...?"
"How, indeed," Martial Master retorted with a haughty countenance, "How did we do what?"
"I think he's referring to why we aren't all over each other like fresh live eels in warm garlic butter." Tom Boy explained, helpfully, "You going to play your hand, or what?"
"Isn't that poker?"
"Yes, that's EXACTLY what you're supposed to be doing!" the Hentai demanded, "So WHY aren't you doing it? My sinister trap was fool-proof!"
"That would mean it just wouldn't let fools in," Tom Boy supplied."
"Just explain how come the two of you aren't naked and sweaty by now so we can ge on with our damn lives?" the miniscule wretch of society pleaded; he had to go get his hair redyed in an hour.
"Your nefarious trap, while clever and... well... nefarious, had one fatal flaw..."
"Yes, I suspect that, since THE TWO OF YOU AREN'T SCREWING EACH OTHER'S BRAINS OUT!"
martial Master dug the earwax from his ear, before pointing at Tom Boy, "Your devious plot would never work, FOR I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO SEXUAL ATTRACTION FOR TOM BOY WHATSOEVER!"
"And this jerk is about as attractive as an ingrown toenail," Tom Boy added, nodding firmly.
"CURSES! I thought I had you two!" the Hentai growled, "No matter, for I... I... just what the hell is your problem?"
Martial Master lifted his head to look at the Hentai's face, "Oh, sorry... are you wearing a cod piece or something under there?"
The Hentai baulked, and jumped away, "That's none of your damn business, you little freak!"
"Aw, come on, I'll buy you dinner and a movie first!"
"Hmm," Tom Boy mused, now leaning over the top of th bowl, "Now that you mention it, he is kind of cute... in a well endowed midget cicus clown type way..."
"If the two of you are done?" The Hentai grumbled, blushing from the compliment. He regained his composure, and flared his battle aura to life, "You may have foiled my trap, but you will not thwart my plans!"
"Oh shoot, Tom Boy!" martial mastar baulked, "HE HAD A PLAN!"
"How dastardly of him!"
The villian of the story quietly and quickly retallied the two do gooders' accumilated IQ, before continuing, "As the two of you were contained, my precious tainted panties should be all over Japan by now!"
Martial Master and Tom Boy's eyes widened in realization. "Wow, all in ten minutes?" Tom Boy replied, shocked.
"Wow,I wish Venus Videos had that type of distribution!" Martial Master mumbled.
Martial Master Mumbled. Martial Master Mumbled. Marshalmastermumum... damn, Martialmastermumbledmartialmasterbat... almost...
"CUT IT OUT!!!" The Hentai, Tom Boy, and Martial Master shouted. The narrator pouted, and walked off sucking on his pair of panties.
"Ah-HA!" Martial Master spoke up, "Though your network of evil lingerie may be in place, there's just one... fatal... flaw in your plans!"
"Which would be? And can you quickly explain this, I want to get to the fight scene."
Martial Mastar cracked his nuckles, while Tom Boy brandished her mallet staff, "If we beat you within an inch of your life, you can't produce a battle aura!"
The Hentai mused on that, and then fell down laughing.
The heroic duo blinked in unison, before they both frowned. Tom Boy folded her arms together, and tapped her toe against the ground impatiently, while the pigtailed crimefighter ground his teeth.
"Can I kick him while he's like this?" Martial Master asked.
"No, it wouldn't be heroic or something," Tom Boy responded, rather disappointed herself.
"You sure?" Martial Master enquired after fifteen minutes. Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Tom Boy nodded.
"How about now?""
"Look, Ranma," Tom Boy snapped, "At this moment, I don't care anymore. Kick him all you want, kick the hell out of him for all I care. Me? I'm going home, and hope this idiot dies by laughing himself to axphixiation. I'll see you later!"
"Jeez, what's gotten up you ass?"
"I'm tired, I'm sexually fustrated from being exposed to hormonally stimulating chemicals and being trapped in a TUPPERWARE CONTAINER with YOU of all people! Hells, I would have taken my own SISTER over you! And I'm SICK of hearing you ask if you can kick the laughing idiot every thirty seconds!"
"How about if I just nudge him with my foot?"
"Bye, Ranma."
Martial Master looked between his current nemesis and Tom Boy. With a sigh, he chose to follow his sidekick home, "Are you sure it'll be okay if we leave him like that?"
"You know? We never did do something about the panty distribution," Ranma stated factually, as his head continued to bob up and down.
"That's right, Nabiki, keep jumping on the damn trampoline for Auntie Akane... what was that again, Ranma?"
"He.."
::boing::
"Said something about..."
::boing::
"Panty distribution."
::boing::
"Oh," Akane replied, before turning to watch her sister on the small trampoline, "Didn't I tell you to put on the WHITE socks before jumping on the trampoline?"
"Oh well, I guess we'll just take care of it another episode," the pigtailed martial artist stated, "Just as well, although it ended rather anti-climatic."
"Well, that's because the author had been sitting on this chapter for months, before coming back to it, and forgetting where he was going to go with it in the first place, therefore FUBARing the introduction of what was supposadly to be one of your greatest of nemesi... that's it, jump HIGHER for Auntie Akane, Nabiki!" Nabiki whimpered, but did as she was told.
"That would be like him, damn 'Older'..."
"Look on the bright side, I'm sure we haven't seen the last of the Hentai."
"Yeah," Ranma admitted, "But, what are we going to do for filler, now? This episode's been pretty thin."
"Well, Nabiki's being pretty entertaini-"
"HOLD IT, YOU LITTLE PUKES!!!"
Ranma and Akane looked up, surprised to find the Hentai standing upon the fence walls. "Hmm, what an unexpected and totally out of the blue surprise..."
"You didn't DO anything to me!" The angry, shortchanged villian shouted. "Was that a short joke?"
No
"You're making fun of my height, aren't you?"
Quit talking to me, please.
"How about you keep your trap shut, before I stuff another pair of panties down your throat?"
No thanks, I'm still working on this pair.
"... Anyways..." the Hentai turned back to Ranma and Akane.
"Wait a second..." Ranma interjected, before he and Akane went to the dojo.
So, how's the weather down south?
"You're a real riot, little puke..."
"Okay, back," Martial Master announced, walking out of the dojo with Tom Boy.
"MARTIAL MASTER AND TOM BOY!" Nabiki exclaimed, "Where did you two come from?"
"Who said you can stop jumping on the damn trampoline?" Tom Boy enquired.
"Sorry."
::boing::
"Now, before you so RUDELY took off..."
"Sorry," both Tom Boy and Martial Master apologised in unison.
"I was going to unleash the full fury of my battle aura, therefore activating every single one of my precious darlings all over the city! and each one they come in contact with will set the next dormant pair off, thus the beginnings of a chain reaction that will bring all of Japan to the ULTIMATE level of perversion! And there's NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!"
"Egads, you FIEND!" Martial Master baulked before musing, "You know? That's probably the most ambitious any of our villians have been, yet. You win the 'most dangerous villian' award."
"Thank you, it's an honor." The Hentai grinned ferally, "Now, witness YOUR FAILURE!!!" And with that, the diminuative evildoer unleashed the catalyst to his dastardly plan.
WILL MARTIAL MASTER AND TOM BOY FIND A WAY TO THWART THE SINISTER HENTAI, OR WILL THEY BE LEFT AFLOAT IN A SEA OF PERVERSION NOT SEEN SINCE THE TWENTIETH ANNIVERSARY OF THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW? TUNE IN SOME-"
"HAPPO-GO-EN-SHIATSU!!!"
"Hi, Ms. Ninomiya." Tom Boy greeted. Martial Master waved.
"Hello, the two of you aren't being delinquents, are you?" The volumptuous substitute teacher enquired, brushing out her hair and kicking the dry, withered shell of a supervillian that had just floated down to her feet to the side.
"Nope, everything's just peachy keen," Martial Master responded, "But aren't you a little cold?"
Hinako looked down at her nude form, "Looks that way, these dears are hard as erasors." With that, she walked back into the Tendou home, fully recharged, and ready for round two with the Tendou Patriarch.
"Hmm, there's been enough innuendo in this segment to rival the average chapter of Ranma the Amorous Oversexed Nympho," Martial Master mused.
Tom Boy scrunched her face up, "That's two cross-fic references, I think it's time we wrapped this up."
"AAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDD HOW!" Martial Master replied with a jovial smile, putting an arm around Tom Boy's back
WHEN LAST WE LEFT OUR HEROS...
"Oh shut the hell up, we don't need a recap!" The Hentai demanded, stuffing a pair of panties into the narrator's mouth. The man gagged, before his eyes lit up, and he removed the undergament from his throat. After a moment's contemplation, the narrator but them back into his mouth, and walked away, sucking happily on the chemical tainted fabric.
The pasty faced villian cackled. The two do-gooders had been trapped in his nefarious... uh... trap, for ten minutes! Pinching his nose in preparation for the obnoxious smell that could only been originated by both a sweaty man and woman in the midst of something that usually involved at least an enchinida, an oil based salad dressing, and a pair and a half of stiletto heeled shoes, the evil baddy person opened the plastic lid that was covering the massive tupperware bowl they were encased in. In triumph, the Hentai reeled back to roar in triumph at the sound of-
"Go Fish."
"I thought we were playing gin," Martial Master replied, confused.
The Hentai baulked, shocked at the sight of decency before him, "Bu... bu... how...?"
"How, indeed," Martial Master retorted with a haughty countenance, "How did we do what?"
"I think he's referring to why we aren't all over each other like fresh live eels in warm garlic butter." Tom Boy explained, helpfully, "You going to play your hand, or what?"
"Isn't that poker?"
"Yes, that's EXACTLY what you're supposed to be doing!" the Hentai demanded, "So WHY aren't you doing it? My sinister trap was fool-proof!"
"That would mean it just wouldn't let fools in," Tom Boy supplied."
"Just explain how come the two of you aren't naked and sweaty by now so we can ge on with our damn lives?" the miniscule wretch of society pleaded; he had to go get his hair redyed in an hour.
"Your nefarious trap, while clever and... well... nefarious, had one fatal flaw..."
"Yes, I suspect that, since THE TWO OF YOU AREN'T SCREWING EACH OTHER'S BRAINS OUT!"
martial Master dug the earwax from his ear, before pointing at Tom Boy, "Your devious plot would never work, FOR I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO SEXUAL ATTRACTION FOR TOM BOY WHATSOEVER!"
"And this jerk is about as attractive as an ingrown toenail," Tom Boy added, nodding firmly.
"CURSES! I thought I had you two!" the Hentai growled, "No matter, for I... I... just what the hell is your problem?"
Martial Master lifted his head to look at the Hentai's face, "Oh, sorry... are you wearing a cod piece or something under there?"
The Hentai baulked, and jumped away, "That's none of your damn business, you little freak!"
"Aw, come on, I'll buy you dinner and a movie first!"
"Hmm," Tom Boy mused, now leaning over the top of th bowl, "Now that you mention it, he is kind of cute... in a well endowed midget cicus clown type way..."
"If the two of you are done?" The Hentai grumbled, blushing from the compliment. He regained his composure, and flared his battle aura to life, "You may have foiled my trap, but you will not thwart my plans!"
"Oh shoot, Tom Boy!" martial mastar baulked, "HE HAD A PLAN!"
"How dastardly of him!"
The villian of the story quietly and quickly retallied the two do gooders' accumilated IQ, before continuing, "As the two of you were contained, my precious tainted panties should be all over Japan by now!"
Martial Master and Tom Boy's eyes widened in realization. "Wow, all in ten minutes?" Tom Boy replied, shocked.
"Wow,I wish Venus Videos had that type of distribution!" Martial Master mumbled.
Martial Master Mumbled. Martial Master Mumbled. Marshalmastermumum... damn, Martialmastermumbledmartialmasterbat... almost...
"CUT IT OUT!!!" The Hentai, Tom Boy, and Martial Master shouted. The narrator pouted, and walked off sucking on his pair of panties.
"Ah-HA!" Martial Master spoke up, "Though your network of evil lingerie may be in place, there's just one... fatal... flaw in your plans!"
"Which would be? And can you quickly explain this, I want to get to the fight scene."
Martial Mastar cracked his nuckles, while Tom Boy brandished her mallet staff, "If we beat you within an inch of your life, you can't produce a battle aura!"
The Hentai mused on that, and then fell down laughing.
The heroic duo blinked in unison, before they both frowned. Tom Boy folded her arms together, and tapped her toe against the ground impatiently, while the pigtailed crimefighter ground his teeth.
"Can I kick him while he's like this?" Martial Master asked.
"No, it wouldn't be heroic or something," Tom Boy responded, rather disappointed herself.
"You sure?" Martial Master enquired after fifteen minutes. Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Tom Boy nodded.
"How about now?""
"Look, Ranma," Tom Boy snapped, "At this moment, I don't care anymore. Kick him all you want, kick the hell out of him for all I care. Me? I'm going home, and hope this idiot dies by laughing himself to axphixiation. I'll see you later!"
"Jeez, what's gotten up you ass?"
"I'm tired, I'm sexually fustrated from being exposed to hormonally stimulating chemicals and being trapped in a TUPPERWARE CONTAINER with YOU of all people! Hells, I would have taken my own SISTER over you! And I'm SICK of hearing you ask if you can kick the laughing idiot every thirty seconds!"
"How about if I just nudge him with my foot?"
"Bye, Ranma."
Martial Master looked between his current nemesis and Tom Boy. With a sigh, he chose to follow his sidekick home, "Are you sure it'll be okay if we leave him like that?"
"You know? We never did do something about the panty distribution," Ranma stated factually, as his head continued to bob up and down.
"That's right, Nabiki, keep jumping on the damn trampoline for Auntie Akane... what was that again, Ranma?"
"He.."
::boing::
"Said something about..."
::boing::
"Panty distribution."
::boing::
"Oh," Akane replied, before turning to watch her sister on the small trampoline, "Didn't I tell you to put on the WHITE socks before jumping on the trampoline?"
"Oh well, I guess we'll just take care of it another episode," the pigtailed martial artist stated, "Just as well, although it ended rather anti-climatic."
"Well, that's because the author had been sitting on this chapter for months, before coming back to it, and forgetting where he was going to go with it in the first place, therefore FUBARing the introduction of what was supposadly to be one of your greatest of nemesi... that's it, jump HIGHER for Auntie Akane, Nabiki!" Nabiki whimpered, but did as she was told.
"That would be like him, damn 'Older'..."
"Look on the bright side, I'm sure we haven't seen the last of the Hentai."
"Yeah," Ranma admitted, "But, what are we going to do for filler, now? This episode's been pretty thin."
"Well, Nabiki's being pretty entertaini-"
"HOLD IT, YOU LITTLE PUKES!!!"
Ranma and Akane looked up, surprised to find the Hentai standing upon the fence walls. "Hmm, what an unexpected and totally out of the blue surprise..."
"You didn't DO anything to me!" The angry, shortchanged villian shouted. "Was that a short joke?"
No
"You're making fun of my height, aren't you?"
Quit talking to me, please.
"How about you keep your trap shut, before I stuff another pair of panties down your throat?"
No thanks, I'm still working on this pair.
"... Anyways..." the Hentai turned back to Ranma and Akane.
"Wait a second..." Ranma interjected, before he and Akane went to the dojo.
So, how's the weather down south?
"You're a real riot, little puke..."
"Okay, back," Martial Master announced, walking out of the dojo with Tom Boy.
"MARTIAL MASTER AND TOM BOY!" Nabiki exclaimed, "Where did you two come from?"
"Who said you can stop jumping on the damn trampoline?" Tom Boy enquired.
"Sorry."
::boing::
"Now, before you so RUDELY took off..."
"Sorry," both Tom Boy and Martial Master apologised in unison.
"I was going to unleash the full fury of my battle aura, therefore activating every single one of my precious darlings all over the city! and each one they come in contact with will set the next dormant pair off, thus the beginnings of a chain reaction that will bring all of Japan to the ULTIMATE level of perversion! And there's NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!"
"Egads, you FIEND!" Martial Master baulked before musing, "You know? That's probably the most ambitious any of our villians have been, yet. You win the 'most dangerous villian' award."
"Thank you, it's an honor." The Hentai grinned ferally, "Now, witness YOUR FAILURE!!!" And with that, the diminuative evildoer unleashed the catalyst to his dastardly plan.
WILL MARTIAL MASTER AND TOM BOY FIND A WAY TO THWART THE SINISTER HENTAI, OR WILL THEY BE LEFT AFLOAT IN A SEA OF PERVERSION NOT SEEN SINCE THE TWENTIETH ANNIVERSARY OF THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW? TUNE IN SOME-"
"HAPPO-GO-EN-SHIATSU!!!"
"Hi, Ms. Ninomiya." Tom Boy greeted. Martial Master waved.
"Hello, the two of you aren't being delinquents, are you?" The volumptuous substitute teacher enquired, brushing out her hair and kicking the dry, withered shell of a supervillian that had just floated down to her feet to the side.
"Nope, everything's just peachy keen," Martial Master responded, "But aren't you a little cold?"
Hinako looked down at her nude form, "Looks that way, these dears are hard as erasors." With that, she walked back into the Tendou home, fully recharged, and ready for round two with the Tendou Patriarch.
"Hmm, there's been enough innuendo in this segment to rival the average chapter of Ranma the Amorous Oversexed Nympho," Martial Master mused.
Tom Boy scrunched her face up, "That's two cross-fic references, I think it's time we wrapped this up."
"AAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDD HOW!" Martial Master replied with a jovial smile, putting an arm around Tom Boy's back