Obi-Wan & Amidala: If William Shakespeare Wrote Their Tragedy in the Style of
ROMEO AND JULIET
From Clone's Folio #1
Prologue
Two worlds, both alike in dignity, in
The Galactic Republic, lay our scene,
From Sith's ancient grudge awakes mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth their mothers' fateful loins, new hope,
A pair of star-crossed lovers begins life
Whose adventure piteously forebodes,
Their love brings 'bout the Republic's demise.
The fearful passage of their doom-marked love,
And continuance of the civil war,
Which, but another's end, naught could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
The History of Clone's Folio #1
I've diligently searched for this evidence through newspaper publications, scientific and literary journals, and the Internet. All inquiries should be addressed to Ana-Misa at Sheroes Central Forum.
AP (UK)---Today, some of William Shakespeare's ashes will be exhumed from its resting place in Holy Trinity Church in Stratford-upon-Avon for an exciting scientific experiment. By the miracle of modern technology, genetic engineers from Cambridge have modified the Honolulu cloning technique and plan to create a clone from the Bard's ashes.
(04.23.99)
Eighteen months later...
"What's wrong?" The researcher said as he saw his assistant shuffle his feet.
"He's gone," said his assistant as he tried to avoid looking into his boss's eyes.
"What do you mean gone?" The researcher demanded.
"Will's vanished," stated the assistant.
"But, how?" The researcher asked.
"That's not the only thing missing," said the graduate student as she approached the two.
"Now, what?" said the researcher with a sense of foreboding.
The graduate student held up the empty box that once contained a deluxe widescreen edition of Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace.
"Nooooo." His cry of despair echoed mockingly throughout the research center, a place that once upon a time was the residence of William Shakespeare's clone.
Deep within the bowels of the Barbican Center, below the manmade waterscape at street level, and hidden among the labyrinth of tunnels a lone figure watched the flickering images on the screen. The clone of William Shakespeare sat in front of a VCR and television set he borrowed from the janitor's lounge.
Once again his favorite scene played and he heard that all familiar, "Nooooo." The clone envisioned the agony the Apprentice felt as he witnessed his Master's mortal wound. Next, he sensed the Apprentice's temptation to draw on his hatred to avenge his Master's death. The final strike and cauterized droplets of blood signaled victory, but at the cost of a Jedi's life.
And each time he watched the words appear against the bright stars of deep space, the clone wondered what would happen next to his hero Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"Ian," Robert called out from behind a makeshift desk made of wooden crates.
"Aye," Ian responded to his fellow janitor as he leaned on his mop.
"What do you make of this?" Robert pointed to a stack of parchment on the top crate. Near the stack stood a rotting apple with two blackened feathers stuck in it, while a shallow ink well was adjacent to the apple.
"A bit of scribbling, I'd say." Ian muttered as he glanced at the pile.
"Aye," Robert responded absently as he began to read the top sheet.
"May be we should give it to..." Ian said as he pointed his index finger towards the ceiling, referring to the RSC's Artistic Director.
"I got a better idea," Robert said with a twinkle in his eye. He gathered the stack of parchment and led his friend out of the seldom-used tunnel.
A few months later at a sci-fi convention in London, England one of the most popular events was a one-act play about the tragic love affair of Obi-Wan Kenobi and Queen Amidala.
What surprised the convention goers was that the style was so authentically Shakespeare; literature majors were making pilgrimages to the convention to see the Bard do Star Wars.
Thus, the saga began...
This humorous bit is dedicated to all of the students who have studied William Shakespeare, currently study William Shakespeare, or thought William Shakespeare was a dirty word teacher's used to scare students into submission.
Disclaimers: May the Bard forgive me. Lucasfilm, Ltd. owns SW characters & situations. No money is being made & no infringement is intended. And thanks to Tom Stoppard for doing Shakespeare in Love. "It's a mystery to me, too."