Disclaimer: We don't own Star Wars.

Full summary: When Qui-Gon Jinn is spared from his death the future begins to unravel down a different path. A strong relationship of love grows between Qui-Gon Jinn and Anakin Skywalker, while a different seed of darkness begins to grow. Slash.

Warnings: Slash, future shota, JA reference.

Pairing(s): Eventual Qui-GonxAnakin (subdued GarenxObi)

Fic type: AU, romance

Bizarre speaks: (September 27th, 2005) During the editing stages this chapter and the one before it had nicknames. Chapter Six was Chapter Suck and Chapter Seven was Chapter Shit. Thanks to some massive plastic surgery they're much better now. Once again all must bow down before my mother. Mostly for being so patient with Aubrey and I's crazy rambling first drafts. Aubrey is still grounded, so it's still just me. She won't be back until...October 13th. Or somewhere thereabouts.

Chosen
Volume One
Sooner or Later
Chapter VII: Change On the Winds

Anakin was out of bed in a couple of days and the schedule was back to normal. Obi-Wan's lessons in the morning and Qui-Gon's field work in the afternoon. The way Ani was headed, he would only need Obi-Wan's help for a year!

His education wasn't the only thing that was speeding right along, either. His relationship with Qui-Gon was developing at an equally remarkable rate. Evenings often found the two of them together on the couch, in their quarters, sometimes watching the HoloNet, sometimes not.

This time, they had opted for conversation over the news or, had talking been the original plan. It momentarily fell by the wayside, when Anakin climbed up into Qui-Gon's lap, and started placing small, near innocent kisses on his Master's face. Qui-Gon caught his chin a second later and held him still. He waited patiently for Anakin to say something. Yet the boy stayed silent, merely watching Qui-Gon calmly. It was a wordless stalemate, both waiting for the other to speak first.

Finally, Anakin gave in. "I love you," he informed Qui-Gon quite plainly.

"Are you sure about that?" his Master wondered, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes." At ten years old, Anakin was still too young to realize that this admission might get him in trouble but his mother had taught him not to lie. He wanted Qui-Gon to know. "I'm sure."

"Love is forbidden by the Code," Qui-Gon said quietly, "perhaps you should think further on this feeling."

"I have thought about it," Anakin frowned a little, "and, lying is forbidden too, isn't it?" Wasn't it just the difference of breaking one rule over another?

"I did not say you were lying, Anakin," the older man replied, running his calloused thumb along the curve of Ani's round cheek.

"But, if I'd said no, I would be!" the boy pointed out, placing his arms on Qui-Gon's shoulders. Qui-Gon shook his head. Ani just had a crush. It was normal in Padawans. His first two Padawans had gone through it it. Obi-Wan hadn't... or at least, hadn't act on it. Obi-Wan had been too busy trying to be the absolute perfect Padawan and would never have admitted something like that.

After a few more moments of silence, Anakin wondered. "Are you mad at me?" "Are you going to tell the Council?" They hadn't wanted to let him train to begin with. He had no doubt that they would jump at the chance to throw him out of the Order.

"No," his Master smiled, "do not worry yourself."

Returning the smile, Anakin threw his arms around Qui-Gon's neck, hugging him tight. "Thank you," he mumbled into Jinn's neck. "I love you so much! You make me happy!"

Qui-Gon just patted his back, he knew as Anakin grew up he would revise that statement.

Yet, Anakin would not. Over the next year as he grew, he only felt increasing feelings. He never announced these openly, of course. Especially not the feeling he acquired in his lower stomach when looking at Qui-Gon and some of the female Jedi around the Temple. Though he kept his peace about this, he never once retracted his love confession to Qui-Gon either. Far from it. He was sure to remind his Master by holding his hand, hugging him, and pecking him on the cheek whenever he thought he could get away with it. He had to make sure Qui-Gon did not dismiss what he called a crush!

For an entire year the matter was not brought up again. Qui-Gon buried the entire incident in the back of his mind as if it had never occurred. He thought his gentle rejection had wiped the foolish notion straight from Ani's mind. He was quite wrong. His Padawan was simply waiting for the right time to bring it up again. This time he would be taken seriously! This time he tried to convey all his love through a single kiss.

"Anakin," Qui-Gon said, "no matter what it is you think you feel, a relationship beyond Master and Padawan is entirely inappropriate for us." He was too old for Ani for one thing.

"I don't care!" Anakin shook his head desperately. "I'm a child, not a moron. I know how I feel about you, and it hurts! Inappropriate be damned."

The Master's eyebrows rose. "Not only am I old enough to be your grandfather, we are Jedi and I am your Master, Anakin."

"I don't care..." the boy repeated, more softly this time. He wanted to bury his face in Qui-Gon's chest, and cry. That would do nothing to convince his Master of his maturity in this, though. "I don't care about any of that. None of it matters. Only you matter, Master."

Qui-Gon shook his head. Ani was too young. "You will have to learn to control your emotions if you wish to be a Jedi."

"And, I will," the lad nodded, his eyebrows furrowing together in a frown, "but, I can't …. What happened to focusing on the moment, Master?"

"What?"

"This is the moment!" In Anakin's opinion Qui-Gon was being horribly insensitive. How bluntly could he spell it out? "This is all I feel, constantly!" Longing, need, love, near desperation! "Why haven't you noticed yet?"

"Because you are eleven, Anakin," the older man replied patiently.

"I know that..." his Padawan groaned. Hadn't they just covered that? Child did not equal stupid, "but I also know what's in my heart, my soul. It's you! All you!"

"No, Anakin," Qui-Gon said finally. He was refusing. Anakin would just have to deal with it. Anakin did start crying. No matter how much he insisted otherwise, he still was a child and, Qui-Gon was currently shredding his little heart.

"Did I do something?" the child wondered, trying to keep his voice steady. "A...am I not good enough for you?"

Qui-Gon hugged him, pulling the little fellow close. "No, Anakin," his Master told him, "there is nothing wrong with you."

"There must be!" Here Ani was, pouring his soul out, and all Qui-Gon had to say was, Sorry, no? Ani didn't even get a sorry. He just got no.

"Nothing," Master Jinn repeated.

Shoving away from Qui-Gon, Anakin scrubbed his tears away on his sleeve. He'd been hoping for a good, peaceful day by trying this before his classes. Apparently, he'd been mistaken.

"I'm going to be late," he mumbled, grabbing his datapad. He hoped his tears weren't too obvious. That wouldn't be easy to explain. If Obi-Wan even cared.

"You alright, Anakin?" his teacher wondered when the boy appeared. Anakin glanced at Obi-Wan, blinking a few times. Was he alright? No.

Would he ever be alright again? He wasn't sure.

In the end, he didn't answer, just took his seat without a word. Obi-Wan cast him a concerned look, but decided against asking his pupil anything.

Anakin had a harder time than usual focusing in class that day but it was nothing compared to the trouble he had during practice with Qui-Gon later. He felt on the verge of some sort of breakdown and Lightsaber Form I seemed mildly irrelevant.

Anakin's pouting and sulking was quick to get to Qui-Gon, though. He really didn't know what else to say! He was some fifty years older than Anakin! The child was just refusing to see that point! Meals and practice were spent in silence on the Padawan's part, and he usually retreated into his room for the evening.

Eventually Qui-Gon entered the boy's room. "Anakin," he said softly, "you are letting your emotions control you. It is not that I don't care for you."

Anakin glanced up at him, and then back down again, holding his tongue. Picking up a small screwdriver, pretending to tinker while he waited for Qui-Gon to continue.

"Anakin," Qui-Gon said a little bit sharply, "things will not work this way. We are supposed to build a trusting Master and Padawan relationship."

The child's eyes were sad when they lifted. "I trust you," he murmured.

"Anakin..." Qui-Gon was not comfortable talking about feelings, he just wasn't. It was something that Obi-Wan had agonized over during his apprenticeship. Never being able to tell what his Master was feeling. Qui-Gon really needed to express his feelings just now, though. "Anakin, little one..." he started kneeling down next to Ani, "I love you dearly. But I am your Master and you are still just a child. I cannot, for the sake of my own ethics, be anything more."

Anakin leaned back, straightening up, he watched Qui-Gon for a moment, before speaking again. "You love me?"

Qui-Gon frowned a moment before answering. "Yes."

At long last, Anakin's expression brightened, and he quickly hugged Qui-Gon. "That's all I wanted!"

"That is all I can give you, little one," his Master sighed, stroking his hair.

"You should have told me that before," Anakin informed him, "then there would have been no trouble!"

Qui-Gon gave him a dry look. "I see." Ani really was just a child…

"What did you think I wanted?" Anakin wondered, blinking at him in confusion.

"Nothing, little one, do not think on it."

"Yes, Master," the boy agreed, nuzzling against the larger man.

The relationship that followed was comprised of nothing more than kisses. Neither of them was ready or willing to move to anything farther. Anakin was just barely aware that there was something more and Qui-Gon had his own morals to think of. He would not seduce his young Padawan.

A year went by like days for the pair. Stolen kisses in empty hallways were common. Yet, still they broke the Code with flagrant disregard, no matter how innocent their intent was. This did not stop them.

"I love you, Qui," the boy breathed, so confidant that they were alone he dared to use such an improper title with his Master. "So, so much..." Then, he quickly stood up on his tiptoes, in an attempt to steal another short kiss, before anyone should approach the corridor. He wasn't even paying attention to the Force, as he should have been for such a risky indoor activity.

Qui-Gon smiled at his Padawan, oblivious to the eyes watching him from around the corner.

Obi-Wan stood, hurt but not entirely surprised. It felt as if his heart was slowly ripping in two…

The delighted look on twelve-year-old Anakin's face did nothing to ease his pain either. It was so much that he turned away and fled. Plans to leave the Temple as soon as possible and with minimal fuss formulating in his head.

The unknowing participants never even realized he had been there. They were too wrapped up in each other. And with Anakin's lessons with Obi-Wan long since complete, it would be quite some time before either would notice the Knight gone.

By the time they noted his absence, any form of explanation or reconciliation would be just a lost hope, floating on the wind.

Personal journal of Obi-Wan Kenobi-Knight of the Jedi Order:

0/03/01-29 BBY-17:00

The Jedi Temple

Seeing them kissing was the end. This is the end. I thought, I don't know what I thought. That certainly wasn't it! I can't stay here any longer. I just can't.

Garen has been urging me to accept more missions, but I've ignored him thus far. Now I will, though. Maybe I'll go home for a while. I must get out of here. Garen is sure to say 'I told you so'.

-End-

To Be Continued in Volume Two