Pairings: Yami x Bakura x Marik (Yamishipping), and Malik x Yuugi x Ryou (Hikarishipping)

Disclaimer: Well since it's says "Disclaimer" I obviously don't claim to own it. I also don't own some of the quotes used!

Warnings: We're talking violence, strong language, adult content...and Random Insanity

Conspiracy Theory

Chapter 4

Yami followed Bakura and Marik through the vent, trying to ignore the fact that he just knew there were spiders crawling everywhere, and it was pitch black so he couldn't see shit. Not only that, he could feel the nastiness that inhabited said vent, now in his hair, on his skin, and on his clothes. All of the sudden, they stopped and Yami's face landed right in Marik's ass.

"Get your face out of my ass Pharaoh, Ra, even I have more control then that." Marik muttered.

"Why'd we stop?" Yami asked.

"The tunnels go two ways, Bakura's trying to figure out which way to go." Marik explained.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Yami asked doubtfully.

"For 3000 years I've worked alongside Bakura. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex. . . uh. . . setbacks... but he's always gotten us out alive in the end." Marik said, like that was suppose to be reassuring.

"Oh, well that just makes me feel so much better about this entire situation!" Yami replied sarcastically before letting out a high pitch squeak when he felt something crawl over his hand, and he ended up falling forward, only to land flat on his face.

He started to panic when he realized Marik was no longer there, and he quickly crawled through the vent for all he was worth. He came to the spot Bakura had stopped at, and he could see that the vent did, in fact, go two ways. He could see this because there was a small amount of light shining through a crack in the vent.

"M-Marik? Bakura?" He called out in a whisper. Receiving no answer, he tried again. Now he was on the edge of hysteria, "MARIK? BAKURA?" He called out as loud as he could.

"Pharaoh," Came Marik's voice from the left side, "Shut up you moron, are you trying to get us caught?" Yami quickly went left, once again surrounded by darkness, he kept moving until he bumped into something, "Oh that's it Pharaoh, if your face touches my ass one more time..." He left the rest to Yami's imagination.

"It's not my fault I can't see a damn thing!" Yami hissed, backing up so he was a good ways away from Marik's ass.

"Some creature of Darkness you are..." He heard Bakura mumble from farther up. Suddenly, they heard a really loud creak, but none of them where moving.

"What was that?" Yami asked, and they heard it again.

"...I don't know...Maybe it was-" Marik never got to finish his sentence, because whatever was supporting them gave out, and they found themselves falling. Right on top of 4 military guys.

They all jumped up and scanned the hallways, luckily those four were the only ones there, and were knocked unconscious when the three yami's fell on them. Hearing a chuckle, Yami and Marik turned to Bakura, raising questioning eyebrows.

"I've got it!" He yelled triumphantly, "Come on, let's strip them." he said, and pulled one of the guys into an empty classroom.

Yami's eyes widened, "Bakura! This isn't the time to worry about your sexual needs, and I don't approve of rape! Even I thought you wouldn't do something so low!" He gasped.

Bakura rolled his eyes, "Please, like I'd fuck any of these people. Look at them, there stomachs practically touch the ground! And there fucking UGLY as shit! Bet they aren't even that big,..." Bakura said, ripping the guys uniform off him, "What we're doing is using their uniforms as a disguise so we can get out of here!"

Yami wrinkled his nose in disgust at Bakura's comment, but had to admit he had a good idea. So, he grabbed one of the unconscious guys and dragged him into the classroom as well. Marik went to grab the other two guys, but one was starting to wake up, so he quickly dragged them into the room and did what any yami would do, he picked up a chair and bashed the guy in the head with it, causing Yami to gasp in horror.

Since that uniform now had blood on it, he went for the next guys outfit, and soon the yami's were dressed in military uniforms, though they had some trouble putting the hats on...what with their hair sticking up like it did.

"Ra dammit! Why do we yami's have to have such pointy hair?" Marik growled, trying to stuff his hair up into the very small military hat.

"Because it makes us look evil!" Bakura replied, not having as much trouble as the other two, since his hair didn't stick up like he got struck by lightening and/or stuck his finger in an electric socket as a child, even though electricity didn't exist in their time, so we'll just say it was lightening.

Yami managed to hide all of his hair excepts for his yellow bangs. Which wasn't too bad, considering lots of people have blond hair... maybe not as bright or as pointy as his, but it would have to do.

It took all three of them to get Marik's hair to cooperate, seeing as how his stuck up the most, "I hate your hair, Marik." Yami mumbled, "Can't we just chop it off?" He asked, grabbing a pair of scissors off the teachers desk.

Marik backed away from him, using Bakura as a shield, "No! Not my precious hair!" He squeaked, yes, squeaked.

Yami rolled his eyes, taking a step closer, "Come on Marik, your a yami, it'll grow back faster then a humans." Yami told him, even though he didn't know for sure that was the case, since none of them have ever tried cutting their hair before, for all they knew, it wouldn't' grow back at all! But he wasn't about to tell him that.

Marik narrowed his eyes at Yami over Bakura's shoulder, "Touch my hair with those things, and you'll find them shoved SO far up your ass you can forget getting fucked for the rest of eternity."

Yami sighed and tossed the scissors away, going back over to the desk and going through the drawers. After a few minutes, Bakura got impatient and walked over to the desk, pulling the drawer out of the desk completely and dumping their contents on the floor.

Marik, being the lazy ass he was, sat on top of one of the desks and watched as Bakura and Yami tried to find a solution to his problem. As they say, all's fair in love and war and even though that has nothing to do with anything at the moment, it probably would in the near future, but he might not feel like referring to that quote later.

"Ah Ha!" Bakura suddenly yelled out, pulling an object out of the pile and holding it up, running over to Marik, "Here Marik, your to damn tall, bend over so I can staple your hair to your head!" He said, holding up a stapler.

Marik's eyes widened, "What? Your fucking joking right?" He asked, eyeing the stapler warily.

"Well, no-" Bakura started, only to be cut off by Marik.

"No, No, your joking. Right?" He asked again, more sternly this time.

"...No." Bakura said, "Now hurry up, we don't have all day, now bend down dammit! It won't hurt that bad!" Hair said, grabbing Marik by the hair and pulling him down. He was just about to staple down a part of his hair when Marik screamed and pulled away, running over and hiding behind the Pharaoh, who was watching contently, wondering if Bakura would really staple his hair down and if Marik would actually let him.

Bakura walked towards them, "Oh come on Marik, stop being such a wimp." With each step he took, Marik took a step back, pulling the pharaoh with him.

"Pharaoh, do something!" He hissed in his ear, feeling his back press against a wall.

Yami sighed, "Put the stapler down Bakura, we'll find something else." Since Bakura didn't look like he was letting the stapler down any time soon, Yami snatched it out of his hand and tossed it out the window.

"Hey guys! This stapler just fell from the sky! It's a sign from God!" They heard one of the police and/or military guys yell out.

"Hey neat! You know, that new guy, the one with the afro, he's been having trouble fitting his hat on because his hairs so big, you think we could staple it down?" Another one asked.

"I dunno... Lets go try it!"

"Yeah!"

Yami, Bakura and Marik all raised an eyebrow, before shrugging and going back to their earlier task of looking for something to tame Marik's hair, and sitting their and watching the other two try and solve his problem.

"Hey, this might work!" Yami said, pulling out a bag of rubber bands. Marik narrowed his eyes at the bands of rubber. They were evil. He remember the horrors Malik went through when Ryou made him put his hair in a pony tail so he wouldn't get hair in the food... the rubber bad got caught in his hair, and they had to cut some of his hair to get it out. Malik cried for a week.

BUT, seeing as how it was that or the stapler, Marik let Yami tie his hair in the evil band of rubbery evilness. The first 5 broke, but after Yami decided to use 4 of them at once, it worked. Yami stood back and all was silent for a minute.

Then Yami and Bakura burst out laughing. Even though his hair was in a pony tail, it still stuck straight up! Marik growled at them, but they just laughed harder. 10 minutes later the laughter finally started to die down.

"Ow...Ow...Oh Ra, it hurts!" Yami moaned, now on the ground on top of Bakura, who was also struggling to breath.

"Can't...BREATHE!" Bakura gasped. Marik coughed loudly to get their attention, "Okay...Okay, Okay...I'm done...I'm done..." Bakura took a deep breathe. They both looked up at Marik, and stared at him. He raised a questioning eyebrow and they both burst out laughing again.

Marik was about to attack them, but found a better way to shut them up. He smirked, "Wow, Bakura! Who would have thought you'd be submitting to the pharaoh?"

They both stopped laughing and glared at him, "What do you mean?" Bakura asked.

Marik pointed at them, "Look at your position! Your both on the floor, panting like animals in heat, and the Pharaoh's on top of you!" They both blinked, then glanced down at their position, before bolting off the floor and trying to regain some of their dignity.

"That's more like it." Marik mumbled.

"Here Marik, lets use these." Yami said, holding up some paper clips, "We can pin your hair down, since it's sticks up like...like..."

"Like your dicks in the wrong place and you were turned on by the sight of me and Yami on the floor panting and all over each other like that!" Bakura finished for him, causing Yami to stare at him in horror, and Marik burst out laughing.

It took about 50 paperclips, but they finally managed to pin his hair down, and get the hat on his head. Yami sighed and sat down, "It would have been easier to just chop your damn hair off." He mumbled, but Bakura and Marik ignored him, already heading for the door. With one last sigh, and what could possibly be his last moment of freedom, he followed them out into the hall.

Misao: Well, there's chapter four! This is definitely my most updated story. -blinks- But... that could also be because the chapters aren't as long as the chapters for my other's stories. Oh well, what the hell. Hope you liked this chapter!