"Hell, I do love you," Joe sighed in exasperation. "I just don't know if that's enough anymore. You're making me crazy."
I had to smile at that one. He looked like I was making him crazy. We had had this conversation before. It always started out the same. I wanted to do something that he deemed crazy and his macho Italian side took over. Right now he wasn't the cool cop that everyone else saw when he or she looked at him; no, he was the confused lover whose emotions were running high. It took a lot for him to reach this state. Usually, I had to be shot.
"Hey, I am trying to understand your point-of-view, but this is my job. You don't see me dictating to you what you can and cannot do as a cop." That's right I told myself, try to reason with him.
Joe just walked up the stairs shaking his head. Unsure of what else to say, I decided to tempt fate and follow him anyway.
"Joe, this is just a job," a job with Ranger, but still just a job. Actually, since I was with Ranger, I probably wouldn't be shot at this time.
Joe turned at the top of the steps to face me. His dark eyes narrowed on my face. "Yes, a job, but one with Ranger. Let's face it, Steph, he comes between us."
Okay, I wasn't really ready for this discussion. We had been avoiding this subject for a long time. There were times when Morelli and Ranger worked well together. Both men cared about me in their own ways. Morelli sometimes wanted to marry me; Ranger usually just wanted me in bed or tease me into thinking he wanted me. It was getting harder for me to take either one of them seriously at times. Maybe Morelli was right, maybe it was the job, but dammit, I loved the job… at times.
I searched Joe's face. "First you say the job comes between us, and now Ranger comes between us. Face it Joe, there's a lot between us. You want me to be something that I'm not. I don't know what it is that I want from you. When we're together, I can't seem to get enough of you; but there's another side to you that I will never be able to touch. You put your cop face on and you're a different person."
I started back down the stairs and heard his footsteps following me.
"Cupcake, one thing has nothing to do with the other," Joe offered.
I turned on him quickly, "I might say the same thing about Ranger and my job." I was pretty sure I had him there but I knew from experience how he could turn things around on me.
"Ranger has everything to do with us. He wants you. I see it in his eyes whenever I see you two together and it totally pisses me off. He knows we're a couple, but he constantly offers you jobs that risk your neck. You… you're just crazy enough to go along with it out of some misguided sense of loyalty to the man. He's not much better than the FTAs you pick up." Joe took a deep breath.
I stood there watching him and for the first time perhaps, really seeing what it was that he felt. He was jealous as hell. I wanted more than anything to tell him that there was nothing between Ranger and me, but I wouldn't lie to Joe if I could avoid it, at least not about something this serious. Truth is, there seemed like some unfinished business between Ranger and I. I knew I needed to get to the bottom of it, but somehow every time I got near the guy, I couldn't think straight.
Ranger was well muscled, well versed in the streets, apparently well connected and definitely well put together. His Cuban ancestry had given him the mocha skin that favored the sun; his previous military training had apparently given him the skills needed to make it on the streets. He was sleek, powerful and sexy as hell. One touch from him and I forgot my name. Ok, so Joe had a right to be concerned, but that didn't mean that I was ready to throw away a semi-sure relationship for something a whole lot less concrete.
"Hell, Joe, you know he's not that bad." Not my best comeback, but I would work on it. "Ranger has helped me a lot and protected me when no one else could."
I saw his eyes narrow even further. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say.
"Stephanie, half the time he was the reason you needed protection. Staying home with me would be too safe. No, you need the excitement of nearly getting killed. You have a problem," he stated flatly, throwing himself onto the couch for emphasis.
"I have a problem," I shouted, nearly hyperventilating in the process. "What about you, Joe? Huh, what about your problem. You complain about Ranger, but you sure don't want to talk about Terry, do you?"
Joe jumped up off the couch, "Don't even try to go there, Stephanie; that's work related."
"And you think Ranger's not? I see the way she looks at you and I know what she's thinking. You aren't blind, Joe. You see it too."