AUTHOR: Dancing Pixie

RATING: T

SUMMARY: Sandy and Marissa have a midnight conversation about Ryan, post "The Loss of Innocence".

Nightmares

Sandy was surprised to see the kitchen light was on.

It was early in the morning, his digital clock had flashed 4 maybe 4:30. It was strange, for weeks he couldn't sleep because he missed Kristen's presence in the bed so much, now he couldn't sleep because he was used to having the whole bed to himself. And so was Kristen apparently, he had awakened to her clutching all of the sheets. Not wanting to disturb her but unable to liberate even a single pillow, he had decided to maybe grab a glass of water and an extra blanket from the closet. As he walked to towards the kitchen he could see the fridge light on and sounds of soft movements in the kitchen.

"Hey, Sandy, you're up early," whispered Marissa as she poured a glass of orange juice.

"The misuses stole my pillow." Sandy grabbed as glass out of the cupboard, "And you?"

Marrissa blushed, "I…I stayed the night with Ryan." Sandy was semi-surprised by her shyness. She had slept over before and Cohen's open – door policy was notoriously liberal. Over the summer he had let the boys spend as much time with the girls as they wanted and thought it better if they were spending the night where he knew where they were rather then sneaking off. But Marissa probably knew about how he felt about her relationship with Ryan right now. Ryan clearly loved the girl, but that didn't change that he needed to get his life in order first.

"And you're trying to sneak back before your mother knows you're gone."

"No." Sandy was slightly shocked by her abruptness, "My mom knows I'm here." She paused while pouring herself a glass of milk, "Ryan's nightmares woke me."

That was something he hadn't expected to hear, "His what?"

"His nightmares," Marissa stated matter-of-factly, "They don't happen all the time but whenever the do, they freak him right out. I mean he talks in his sleep and thrashes around."

"Still bothered by Trey?" Sandy continued sympathetically.

"No, much older traumas then that, I think," Marissa pushed her self up so that she was sitting on the counter, "I used to try wake him but that seemed to make it even worse. Eventually he wakes up on his own."

"So you are waiting for him to wake up?"

"Yeah, he is sick to his stomach when he finally does wake up so I give him some space. He doesn't like the idea of anyone seeing him like that."

Normally Sandy liked that fact that Ryan had his own privacy in the pool house but sometimes he wondered if the boy was too cut off from the rest of the family. He couldn't believe that he didn't know that one of his boys had nightmares so violent that he was literally sick. "Ryan's like that, stubborn as a rock."

"And with more pride then the population's of small cities." Marissa answered.

Sandy chuckled softly as he filled his glass with water from the sink. Glancing at Marissa, he asked causally, "Has he ever told you what scares him so badly?"

"I've never asked." Slowly she took a sip of the milk while he processed that, "Because I know." For once Sandy didn't say anything but merely looked on, "The dreams always are the same, he begs people not to hit him, not to hit his mother. Sometimes it is his father, sometimes it is AJ or another one of his mom's boyfriends, once it was Dawn herself. Always he is trying to protect himself from someone who is trying to hurt him." Marissa shuddered, "It isn't pleasant."

A light flicked on in the pool house, from the kitchen window they could see Ryan changing the sheets of the bed, "He wakes up in such a sweat, that the sheets need to be changed," explained Marissa.

"He is a strong kid, so you forget how much he has seen, what he had lived through," Sandy watched his foster son quickly stripping the bed. "It begins to feel like he has always been part of the family." He paused, "Thanks for telling me."

Marissa stared at her juice, "Ryan spends so much time looking after everyone else that his own issues get sidelined. I thought you should know."

Sandy looked over to Marissa with some pride. Here was a girl that loved Ryan as much as he did and wanted the best for him. She didn't seem frightened or scared by what she had described but was merely accepting it as just another personality quirk of Ryan.

With a click the side door opened and a sleepy looking Ryan opened the door. "Morning," he murmured looking from Marissa to Sandy.

Softly smiling Marissa passed him the juice. "Thanks," he whispered taking a big drink and wrapping his right arm around her waist. Looking over at Sandy he put the glass down and asked, "Are we in trouble?" Sandy could see that he was expected to be told off for having Marissa spend the night.

"Not at the moment," Sandy finished his own glass of water, "I was just about to head back to see if I get a pillow out of Kristen's grasp, the woman has arms of steel."

"Goodnight, Sandy," Ryan spoke looking a little confused.

"Goodnight kids," Sandy answered, "Sleep well."

Marissa met Sandy's eyes as she held Ryan's hand, "We will."