Chapter 4
JR was confused. He had hated Babe for so long and with such fury, the possibility of not hating her felt foreign. He needed to get out of the mansion, away from questions and the constant stream of people. 'We live in the largest house in Pine Valley, why can I never find anytime to be alone.' JR thought. JR spent most of the evening driving around aimlessly. Until he found himself in the courtyard outside of Kendall's place. JR had convinced himself that Kendall held the answers to his Babe dilemma.
JR noticed an odd light coming from Kendall's apartment. It wasn't a regular light, or the blue flicker of a TV. JR peeked in through the side window and noticed the fireplace and candles, all ablaze. A movement in the kitchen of Kendall's apartment caught JR's attention. Straining to see through the blinds, he noticed it was Kendall and Zach Slater. JR turned his head in astonishment, but quickly refocused on Zach and Kendall wondering what was going on.
Precisely at that moment, JR saw Zach sweep Kendall up into his arms and carry her towards the bedroom. JR moved towards a bench in the courtyard, despondent. Kendall had betrayed him, the phony marriage wasn't phony after all. But JR didn't have the automatic burning need to seek vengeance, as he usually would. Sitting on the bench with his head in his hands, JR realized he had lost Kendall's friendship. Before heading to his car, JR sneaked around the side of the building to peek inside the bedroom window. Adam always accused JR of being a glutton for pain and suffering. JR didn't know what he expected to see through the window, he just knew he had to make sure what he saw was true.
In the dark bedroom, JR could make out their entangled forms. Kendall's nude form was luminous in the dim light, straddling Zach's legs. Her long hair draped down her bare, slim back. Kendall blocked JR's full view of Zach, but from the movements JR surmised Zach was caressing Kendall's exposed breasts with delicate kisses while his hands kneaded her delicate skin. Kendall tilted her head back, simultaneously moving with an action that indicated pleasure and building intensification. JR couldn't take any more an quickly escaped to his car and drove away.
Hours later Zach was sitting in the chair by the glowing fireplace. He abandoned any attempts at sleep. He sat stoically comparing the dulling embers in the firebox to his own love life. He had thought Maria/Maureen was the love of his life, causing a fire to burn inside of him, eliciting feeling he didn't know he could possess. Over the last several months those feelings, that fire, had burned itself out, leaving only glowing embers. Zach didn't even know how to explain the feelings he had towards Kendall. They have been married several months, have a friendship based on mutual respect. Surprisingly, there had been long, lonely nights while he worked at the casino that he looked forward to seeing her, or wished she was with him. She was entertaining, in an unpredictable, sometimes irritating way. Zach sat up from the chair, kneeling in front of the fireplace. He placed a new log on the fire. 'Symbolic' he thought to himself. After a few moments, the new log began to emit a dull glow, and a faint scent. 'Designer scented firewood, how typically Kendall is that?'
And as if his thoughts alone summoned her, Kendall quietly padded from the bedroom wrapped in a blanket and climbed into Zach's lap. One of his hands caressed her legs draped across his frame, while his other hand twirled through her curls. She nuzzled into his shoulder, her warm breathe on his neck caused shivers to race down his spine.
Their bodies shifted slightly in the chair, Kendall ran her hands through Zach's dark, short, wavy hair. 'Everything about him is so masculine. His scent, his frame, his lips. His hands are soft but strong, caressing her with tender strokes of desire and need.' Kendall couldn't think of anything but Zach. How his iconic dead pan stare, cracked just a little when he looked at her. She had figured out there was the smallest flash that gleamed in his deep hazel eyes. The flash was his attempt at shutting out the world. He kept almost everyone at bay with his gruff, abrupt attitude. But Kendall knew that the nastiness was just a wall. A wall to keep anyone from getting too close. She thought she had broken threw the wall tonight, that he had let her in emotionally, as well as, physically.
She traced his scruffy jaw line with her long fingers, pausing to circle the ultra-sexy cleft in his chin. Kendall gently pulled his chin down towards her, engaging his soft lips in a brief taste of passion.
"Kendall?" Zach said in a deep whisper pulling away from her
"Mm.." Kendall purred in response, lightly kissing his jaw line.
"Kendall," his thought pattern was getting lost because of her warm moist kisses against his skin. Did he dare verbalize his thoughts. He wanted to talk about the surrogacy and beg her not to go through with it. Instead, he lifted her off of his lap and laid her gently in front of the fireplace. He covered her face with soft loving kisses. Moving to place kisses on her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, her chin, neck, collarbone. He laid fully alongside her, stroking the stray hairs off of her beautiful face. "You are a gorgeous woman, Kendall." Zach admitted easily.
Her enormous blue eyes danced with the reflection of the fire. His fingers traced along her collarbone, down between her breasts, stopping to lay flat on her stomach, reaching around to her hip, he pulled her close to him with a sudden urgency. He kissed her deeply, as she eagerly responded to his touch. Her hands reached for his waistband, pushing away the boxers.
Breathlessly Zach pulled out of their kiss. Again meeting Kendall's glance, locking their eyes. "Are you sure?" Zach seemed to hesitate before consummating their union.
Kendall's voice betrayed her, the timbre of her voice was too high and almost cracked, "Zach, I want you to make love to me. I want to be….Zach" Kendall couldn't bring herself to speak any more, she pulled him closer.
"Kendall. Wait, earlier when we made love, we didn't use protection. I don't have anything to protect you." Zach's guilt about his intentions ate away at his soul.
Kendall didn't blink, she wasn't thinking about Greenlee or fertility treatments, all she could think of was her desire for Zach and how offended she felt. "I don't have any diseases, Do you?"
"Of course not." Zach answered immediately "Kendall, I meant protection against pregnancy." A voice in Zach's head screamed 'COWARD.'
Kendall finally stopped caressing his chest, pulling slightly away from his embrace, "And the idea of me having your child so horrible?" Tears started to well in Kendall's ocean blue eyes.
Zach couldn't believe where this evening had taken them, talk about a train falling off the tracks. 'See what happens when you try to do the good thing.' the voice in his head taunted him. Apprehensively, Zach said to Kendall, "I do not want to put you in a…. Damn it Kendall, I care about you deeply. I want to make sure this isn't a mistake, or a regret, something bigger than we can handle."
Her eyes would not meet his. Looking over his shoulder into the fire, "What if I am already pregnant?"
Zach feared the worst, that she had already gone through with the insemination of the Lavery embryo. He tried to swallow the large lump in his throat, and only muttered "What do you want me to do?"
Turning towards him abruptly, her eyes now blazing like lasers into his soul. "Would you deny our child?" Kendall's words stung like a cold wind. But he realized she said 'our child.'
"Kendall, I would give our child all the love in the world. I would cherish the opportunity to give a child my heart and soul. If you are willing to share my heart and soul with our child." Zach spoke quickly not analyzing each word.
Her gaze softened, "You are willing to let me in?" Kendall spoke in a whisper.
"You already are." Zach spoke with more genuine emotion than he had felt in a long time. He pulled her back into an embrace, holding her for an eternity. Their love making started slowly, tentatively. But crested with a flurry of promises and declarations of loyalty and love. Just before they both fell asleep, Zach whispered, "I promise to keep you and our child safe and loved."
Zach was fully aware he was dreaming. It was a warm summer night and he was walking through Pine Valley Memorial Park with purposeful long strides. Turning a corner, in a small enclave there was a picnic table covered in food and a traditional red checkered blanket on the ground. Zach turned toward a small excited voice, "Daddy, Daddy, can you push me on the swings?"
A small flurry of curls rushed into Zach's arms. He picked up the little girl with a quick spin and low chuckle. "Anything you want, pumpkin." Zach glanced towards the picnic blanket to glance at his beautiful wife, the mother of his child, smiling at Zach and the little girl. "Let's go. To the swings."
Zach bolted upright, causing the sleeping Kendall to stir. Was this dream a harbinger of things to come. Could it be possible that Zach got Kendall pregnant, and he could have the life he dreamed of? The realization that the little girl in his dream may never be, caused Zach to shudder with despair. Tears had begun to pool in his eyes, something that hadn't happen in years. He laid back down next to Kendall and pulled her into an embrace. Her sleeping body was warm, but he shivered with a loss he couldn't fathom.