Summary: Well, if you don't like DMHG fics, then don't read it. It's a freaking hilarious tale of how Draco and Hermione went from being Ferret Boy and Mudblood, to Drakie and Snukkums. It's a tale about how a lot of embarrassing moments ultimately end up in them.
"I have a few start of term notices that I would like to announce," Dumbledore stated with that familiar twinkle in his eye, "The Forbidden Forest is restricted, do not wonder." he said, looking at the Golden Trio. They all smiled at each other. "And also, Filch has added about 100 things to his list of forbidden things. If you wish to view, it will be in his office, now that I have said that, let's eat."
" I think that was the shortest speech that Dumbledore has ever given." Ron said.
"Thank goodness because I am really hungry." Harry replied. At that moment, Ron starting eating like he hasn't eaten in days. People were starting to notice, and point at him.
"Ron, I know that you are really hungry, but don't eat so fast, you could choke." Hermione stated, matter-of-factly.
"Well, I think he's eating so fast because his family can't afford to feed him." said the familiar drawl of Draco Malfoy. "I mean, it wouldn't be so bad if he choked, I have been waiting for him to die, seeing as how Voldermort didn't do it."
"Go away Malfoy, matter fact, why are you at the Gryffindor table anyway?" said Hermione coldly.
"Funny you should ask," he replied, "McGonagall told me to come here and get you." Ron looked at him with daggers. "Official Head's business, mudblood."
"You're going to stop calling me that Malfoy, okay, anyways bye guys."
"Bye, Hermione, you know what to do if he touches you." Ron said with a wink. Hermione laughed and walked off with Malfoy. They walked in silence.
'I wonder what she is supposed to do if I do something to her.' he thought. 'Oh well, probably nothing, Weasley just said that to tick me off.'
As they arrived in McGonagoll's office, she was already there waiting for them. She handed them a folder each. "This is what you two will be doing all year, like deadlines, and when your things are do, I trust you can read through them yourself, Mr. Malfoy," she paused then continued, "If you can't, Mr. Malfoy, I'm positive that Ms. Granger may be able to help you, understood?" she asked.
"Yes Professor McGonagall." they replied together.
'I don't need that mudblood's help.' he thought. They walked to their common room. "What's the password?" she asked the portrait. "Why my dear, you get to make it up." said the knight. "I think that it should be 'ompouspa oolfa'"(A/N If you don't know what that means, its pompous fool in pig Latin) she said. "And what pray tell does that mean?" Malfoy asked. "It's nothing, anyways, the head girl gets to pick the password." Well, young lady, nice password, you may go in." said the portrait.
As they walked in, her mouth dropped, while Malfoy just stood there and looked at it like he was used to it. "Wow," she started," This is amazing." she said. "Well, I guess it is for a little mudblood like you, but for me, I am used to luxury." he said.
She didn't care, she was wrapped up in the room, it had beautiful red and gold couches. It also had a book shelves all of which had her favorite books, and best of all it had 'Hogwarts, A History" just sitting there. It had various lamps, tables, and chairs around the room, all of which were the Gryffindor colors. She noticed a door, and she went in it. It was a bathroom. It's colors were green and silver. It had two toilets, and two sinks. To bad it only had one bath tub though. She noticed two doors inside the bathroom, one red and one green, she supposed these led to their rooms. She walked in, she almost had a heart attack. It was so beautiful. She had a king sized bed, a huge bookshelf, a bedside table, and a walk-in closet. She also had a dresser. Her whole room was like as big as the Gryffindor girl's dormitory.
She walked back in the common room, and saw a thing see did not want to see.
Malfoy sitting there in only some green and silver boxers.
But it surprised her because, she looked at it and was like 'Dang man, he gotta nice lookin' body, I likes dat.'
"Malfoy, please put on some clothes, while many girls in this school like you, I am not one of them, so therefore I don't want to see you in that." she said (she couldn't let him know what she was REALLY thinking now could she?)
"Well, mudblood, many girls would die to get this chance. I just wanted to see how you would react." he retorted, with a hint of amusement in his voice.
She just stood there, she didn't even hear what he had said. All she was thinking was 'I see why girls like him, look at those washboard abs. I could do some laundry on them abs. Oh no, I shouldn't be thinking this. Yes you should look at him, he's fye!' She shook her head at the argument that had just went on in her mind. Unfortunately, Malfoy saw this.
"Is there something that I should know about, mudblood? It looked like you were having a bloody battle in your head!" he sniggered at the thought that she was going mad.
"Why don't you just shut up." She said. And with that last remark, she ran up the stairs. 'Man I am so embarrassed, now he thinks I'm a freaking mad woman.' After that last thought, she tripped up the stairs, and was humiliated, only to hear was Malfoy on the couch laughing his tail off.
A/N Well, I thought that that was a good place to end. So, did y'all like it? Review please and thankyou.