A/N: Hello people, ve're back vid anoder chapter for you all to read. Ve are so happy! Ve've finally reached Hogvarts! About blooty time too, don't you teenk? Read on, and find out vhat happens vhen ve enter dat big, scary castle… and meet… *dun dun DUN* *scary music* Harry Potter!

Disclaimer: Ve have no permission from J.K. Rowling to write dis story, and if anyvun lets on dat ve're doink dis to her characters and alternate vorld, ve vill set Karkaroff on you! Get it? Got it? Goot!

* * * Chapter 4: Hogwarts At Last

            The doors opened to reveal a large, bright hallway with a grand marble staircase in the centre, which lead to a landing. There were hundreds of students filing through another set of doors on the right hand wall of the hall.

As the great oak doors creaked open, each turned their attention to the two figures standing in the doorway. They were wearing the most unusual outfits. They posed, back-to-back, and smiled, standing like statues, their arms held in the air.

"Ve're here!" the two girls cried. "Ve are de ring-ins from Beauxbatons."

Silence.

"Or not," said Milena.

"Milena, did ve get it wrong again?"

"No, dis is de right place. It had sign vid arrow pointing dis vay and 'Hogvarts' written on it."

"Den, vhy are dey staring at us?" asked Andréa, looking around at the sea of faces with a furrowed brow.

"I teenk it's your hat again," replied Milena, pointing to the furry Cossack hat sitting atop Andréa's head. 

"Vhat is de problem vid my goddamn hat?" exclaimed Andréa. "It's a nice hat!" 

The students were still staring at the two in silence. Andréa and Milena looked around the hall.

"I teenk dat ve're a leeeetle late," said Andréa.

Milena glared at her, utterly unimpressed, and raised one eyebrow.

"And who's fault vould dat be I vunder?" asked Milena sarcastically.

"So sue me. I got us lost," said Andréa. "It vasn't all my fault. Dat nice Fidel Castro man gave us directions, I just follow dem."

"He vasn't nice," retorted Milena. "He try to shoot us." 

"Ve got a lot of dat, didn't ve," said Andréa. "But even though he vas a complete prick, Cuba is such a beautiful place. De lights, de music, and de cute little old people."

"You kept lookink at de singer, Ibrahim Ferrer, and saying, 'Milena, I vant vun.'"

"How did you end up in Cuba?" asked a student standing near them, somewhat tentatively.

"Ve took a wrong turn," said Andréa. "Left, near Portugal, I teenk. How'd ve get dere? You remember?" She appealed to Milena.

"Nope," she said. "I remember somehow going to Finland. Not fun. Ve don't speak Finnish. Such a stupid langvage."

"For some reason," began Andréa, vaguely. "Finnish remind me of varnish."

"Vhy exactly?" asked Milena, an exasperated expression on her face.

"No idea," said Andréa, airily. "But because of dat, I never learnt langvage. I don't like to clean." 

At that moment, a tall old man with a long, white beard and half-moon glasses entered the hall. He saw the two girls and smiled, walking through the crowd towards them.

"Ah," he said. "Andréa Dragomir and Milena Kovalev, I presume?"

The girls nodded.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," he said. "I am Professor Dumbledore."

"Goot evenink, Professor Dumbledore" they said. "Ve are very happy to be here."

"I am afraid that you are a little late," he said. "So, if you will join us for dinner now, and afterwards, you will be sorted."

"Thank you, Professor," said Milena.

"Boys," said Andréa, her eyes glittering. "Food. Hungry."

"Hungry for vhich?" asked Milena.

"Did you really have to ask? Both," said Andréa.

Milena sighed and muttered something under her breath.

They moved into the Great Hall. Four large banners hung around the hall, gold and crimson, bronze and blue, silver and green, and yellow and black, for the various Houses. Four long tables ran vertically down the hall and another horizontally at the head, on a raised platform, for the staff.

"Take a seat at any one of the four house tables, and after you have eaten, you can be sorted and shown your rooms," said Dumbledore to the two girls.

"Tank you, Professor," said Andréa.

They each took a seat on the Gryffindor table, being the nearest to where they were standing. Both girls glanced around at the students sitting around them. Andréa caught Milena's arm frantically and pointed to a boy a few places along from them.

"Dat is Harry Potter," she whispered.

"Ja," said Milena. "I know."

"Should ve introduce ourselves, you teenk?"

"I vould have to agree vid you on dat."

The girls stood up and moved along to sit opposite the boy.

"Hello," said Andréa, smiling. "Ve are de new girls."

"Yeah," said the boy. "I know."

"My name is Andréa," she went on. "Dis is my friend, Milena."

"Nice to meet you," he said. "My name's Harry Potter."

"Ve know," said Milena. "You are legend even vhere ve come from. It's a hole."

"And these are my friends," he went on. "Ron Weasley," pointing to the red-haired boy on his right, "and Hermione Granger," he finished, motioning to the brown-haired girl beside Ron.

"A pleasure," said Milena.

"Will you be going into Sixth Year?" asked Hermione.

"Yes, ve vill," said Milena. "But ve obviously have vork ve need to catch up on before ve start."

"Yes," said Hermione gravely. "You've missed the first week."

"Big deal," said Andréa calmly. "Dat is easy. Vhat you fussink for? Is pointless."

Hermione was silent, giving Ron a chance to speak.

"So, where are you from?" he asked, mouth full of food. "Because you don't sound French."

"Ve're not," replied Andréa. "Ve most recently vere at Beauxbatons, before dat ve vent to Sveedish finishing school. Ve didn't finish though. Not to be confused vid Finnish, or varnish, as I call it."

"Ve vent to Sviss finishing school," Milena corrected, looking at Andréa. "Ve don't speak Sveedish."

"But I tought ve vent to Sveedish Alps for skiing holiday?" asked Andréa, looking confused.

"No, dat vas Sviss Alps," said Milena, petulantly. 

"So dat's vhy dey vere looking at me funny," said Andréa, realisation dawning on her face.

"Ja," said Milena. "Dat vould be vun reason. De other vould have been your outfit."

"Vell, anyvay," Andréa went on, "before that it vas a Spanish school if I remember correctly, and before that…. I forget, vell eventually ve're from Romania, I'm a gypsy and she's a Jew."

She paused.

"Vell, she's not, but you should have seen the looks on your faces," she finished. She cackled, and then changed to a serious one.

"Vun vord about filthy gypsies and I slit your throat," she said, glaring stern-faced. The surrounding students backed away from her quickly.

"I vas jokink," she said, laughing. "You guys! You're a cack!"

"Andréa, don't frighten de tourists," said Milena. "Vhat do I keep tellink you."

"Ve're de tourists," said Andréa.

"Exactly," said Milena. "You're scarink me."

Andréa laughed nervously.

"Sorry."

Harry piped up now, having said little for some time.

"So, why did you come to Hogwarts, I mean, if you were at Beauxbatons?"

"Ve got kicked out for doing a real magic show for muggles," began Milena. "At vun point, turning vun boy into a rabbit, and accidentally setting a cat on him. His mudder vasn't too happy."

"Dat vas your idea," said Andréa.

"De cat vasn't."

"De cat vas entirely it's own idea," said Andréa. "I don't know how dey knew about vhere ve vere doink de show. It vasn't common place dat ve performed. I svear I didn't tell dem. It might have said someteenk to dat cute guy vearing a suit…oh."

"And she didn't succeed in talking her vay out of dis vun," said Milena, "since it turned out he vas gay."

"Vhy are all de cute vuns gay?!?" cried Andréa, despairingly.

They all laughed, even Hermione, who hadn't been impressed about the misuse of magic incident.

"Well, you could both be considered troublemakers," said Harry.

"More than troublemakers," retorted Hermione. "Law-breakers."

"Disaster-makers!" said Andréa, excitedly.

Milena glared at her.

"Sorry," said Andréa, sheepishly. "I'll shut up now."

Hermione rolled her eyes and looked a bit put out.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" asked Ron. "I thought you'd gotten over the rule-breaking thing?"

"I have," said Hermione, huffily. "But not breaking the laws of the wizarding world."

"Oh, come on, Hermione," said Harry. "They were just having a bit of fun."

"Yeah, but someone could have been badly hurt," she scolded.

"De only vun who ever get hurt as a result of our pranks is dis vun here," said Andréa, pointing to Milena, who glared fiercely.

They all laugh again.

"Do you know about the Houses yet?" asked Harry.

"No," replied both.

"There are four," he went on. "Gryffindor, our house, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin."

At that, the three cringed.

"Draco Malfoy is in Slytherin," explained Ron. "He's a prat, and his father is in Azkaban."

"He's not so bad now," said Hermione. "Better at least than he was before. Less prancing around as though he owns the place."

"He's still a prat," said Ron. 

They pointed over to the far table where a blond-haired boy sat, smirking. Andréa and Milena glanced over at the boy they had pointed out.

"He look like dat guy ve met at de Annual Gypsy Dancing by Firelight," Andréa commented. "He vash so hot. Except dat he vas a vampire."

"You didn't seem to mind vhen he vas sucking your face," said Milena.

"You vouldn't have either," said Andréa. "As long as he stay avay from my neck."

"He didn't stay avay from your neck though."

"I meant in theory, and I didn't mind, he didn't bite… hard, and even if he did, he didn't take too much, and…"

"Please stop dere, vhat vas his name again?"

"Spike, but later he tell me to call him Villiam."

"I don't vant to know vat happen later."

"Vell actually notink happen," said Andréa. "Grandmama alvays used to say never lift your skirt for anyvun until you have de veddink ring. Though, she said notink about dem climbing under."

Milena shook her head, while Harry and Ron shuddered at the thought of a Draco Malfoy look-alike under Andréa's skirt. Hermione didn't seem too disturbed. Even Milena agreed with Andréa, Draco was pretty goddamn sexy.

"Gryffindor is for those who are brave, courageous, and daring," began Harry. "Ravenclaws are smart and hard-working; Hufflepuffs are loyal –"

"So are dogs," said Andréa.

"The Sorting Hat said that they were fair, true, and unafraid of toil," said Hermione.

"As I said, get a dog," said Andréa. "Dey're better company, I bet."

Harry and Ron suppressed smirks.

"And finally," Harry went on. "Slytherins are cunning and will go to any length to get what they want."

"Three guesses vhere Andréa vill be goink," said Milena, sardonically.

"Better dan a goddamn Powderpuff," said Andréa. 

"That's Hufflepuff," said Hermione.

"Vhat makes you teenk I care?" said Andréa. "Dis is me," she pointed to her face. "Not carink."

"She's a Slytherin," muttered Ron to Harry, who nodded.

"Vhat about you, Milena," said Andréa. "Not Ravenclaw, cos you got no intelligence, nor Gryffindor, cos you got brains, and not Slytherin, cos you got no evil streak. Maybe you can be a dog."

Milena glared at her, while Andréa was cackling.

"I have an evil streak," rebuked Milena.

"Ja, a seriously evil blonde streak," Andréa scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I mean it should be illegal to be dat dumb."

Milena stared at Andréa icily.

"Speak for yourself," she muttered.

"If looks could kill…" said Harry.

"Den she'd be dead a thousand times over," finished Milena.

"Oh ya, I'm qvakink in my cute, little, red leather boots," said Andréa, sarcastically.

"You know," said Milena, calmly. "Dey say dat red heads have been proven de dumbest of de hair colours."

"I though dey say ve vere de smartest," said Andréa.

"I rest my case," said Milena.

"Vell you can't talk, you're a farkink Violet Crumble," said Andréa.

"I am not," said Milena. "My hair isn't milk chocolate colour, it's dark."

"What do you mean she's a Violet Crumble?" asked Harry.

"It mean dat she brunette on de outside and blonde on de inside," explained Andréa.

"Vell… den… you're an… unripe passionfruit!" said Milena, in frustration.

Andréa exploded with laughter, nearly falling off her seat.

"Dat's de best you can come up vid?!" chortled Andréa.

Milena turned on her best glare, screwing up her face in anger.

"And darlink, dey're still purple vhen de're unripe," said Andréa, smirking and patting her patronisingly on the shoulder.

Milena huffed and crossed her arms angrily.

"See vhat I mean," said Andréa to the others. "Total flake."

"Don't start vid de flakiness, cos you can't talk," scoffed Milena. She turned to face Harry and the others. "She got us lost seexteen times dis veek."

"Seventeen," said Andréa.

"See vhat I mean," said Milena.

Dumbledore rose from the Head table, approaching the Gryffindor table. He stopped in front of Andréa and Milena.

"If you will please come to my office when you are finished eating, we can begin the Sorting," he said.

The two nodded, and Dumbledore left them.

"Vell, ve should be gettink on," said Andréa.

"It vas nice meetink you," said Milena.

"Toodles."

The three waved as the girls walked towards the doorway of the Great Hall. They posed in the doorway, and called out to the Hall.

"It's been great!" said Andréa.

"Ve see you all later!" said Milena.

In a puff of smoke and a flurry of colour, the girls vanished. Gasps and whispers, the odd scream rose up from the hall, as everyone frantically tried to figure out where the two had disappeared.

* * *

A/N: *Gasp* Crisis! We've lost the girls? Where could they have possibly gone?! Does anyone know? Anyone with suggestions for where to start the search, please review. If we find the girls, we might be able to continue the story. Please review, and we'll try as hard as we can to find them.

Special thanks to:

Earwen Colomanel – Thanks, Nell. I hope you liked this chapter. We haven't found the girls yet. If you see them, let us know. They're bound to screw up something and we are desperate to find them before they do some serious damage.