Disclaimer: I don't own FFTA. And I hate lawyers. So don't sue me.

( I personally think that this chapter is pretty bad, but I need something to be put up.)

I woke up in a forest with the mother of all hangovers. I dragged myself upward, and looked around, frowning. How did I get into a forest, when I had fallen asleep in Cyril? I continued to survey the site where I had been dumped.

"Shit shit shit shit shit." I said, seething with anger. My elCid sword was gone, as was my pack of supplies. All I had were two daggers.

I heard a crashing in the bushes.

" Hey dipshits!" screamed a strangely familiar voice. Trees came crashing down, and Hazard 13's mom appeared, with her two favorite weapons, the Maternal Taker-Awayer, and the Game System Jacker swaying menacingly.

" Holy..." was all that I had time to say before jumping aside to avoid having something of mine taken away. I ran… hard. Behind me, I could hear trees crashing down, and Hazard's mom bellowing about taking my GameCube…

"Ultima Blade… Ultima Blade I yelled, swinging at the ground to bring the massive energy of the attack to bear. The bellowing was getting closer. I immediately jumped as high as I could, grabbing a tree branch, and swung my legs up out of the way of the behemoth's weapons. She staggered into the hole that I had made with my attacks, and gazed around before starting to hack her way out of the pit

I moved off, and came to a strangely familiar campsite, covered in dried blood… I smiled the same place where I had found that Viera…

"Eeeeeeeeee" came a voice reminiscent of the last viera that I had met in these woods. The sound drove needles into my brain, magnifying the hangover that was causing my head to throb.

I still had the presence of mind to draw my only weapons, the two daggers. The weapons came out of their sheaths with twin rasps, and gleamed in the light.

Meanwhile, the voice was still screeching out it's banshee wail, defying the need of most living things to BREATHE. An arrow flashed out of the darkness, and I knocked it out of the air with ease.

"Show yourself, I'm hungry, and all my shit got stolen." I yelled at the Viera, who promptly fired another arrow, from behind.

I spun, but not fast enough. The arrow slammed into my shoulder, and sent me sprawling. The wound burned, and the skin around the arrow began to blacken. After checking to see that the shaft was not embedded in a bone, I snapped off the end, and bit down on it, and hissing with the pain, shoved the arrow out the other side.

"Tweeeeeeeeee. Today's laws are No Missiles, No Techniques, and No Status Ailments!" roared a judge.

" Are you guys always late?" I managed to gasp out, " Or do you really REALLY hate me?"

"It's the hate one." Said the tin can. Looking at me imperiously.

While all of this was happening, the Viera had crept up out of the woods, and was trying to position itself for an attack that would finish me off. I spun quickly, and leapt forward, doing a handspring that launched me feet first into the Viera. My boots took her in the face and chest, and broke her nose. She fell over, with my boots still on her. I looked down into her eyes, crossed my blades, and slit her throat.

" H-hey y-you can't do that" that said the judge, sending healing magic into the viera, whose throat healed.

" Look I really don't need someone left behind who will start a blood feud, and make my life difficult." I said to the judge, and jammed my dagger into the viera's throat, point first, twisting it to keep then wound open as the judge applied more healing magic. Finally the viera gurgled and died.

" The Council will make sure that you rot in Sprohm prison for the rest of your days for this unholy act said the judge, and warped away.

" Unholy is what I do." I said addressing the empty air.

Hours later, the door to a house with an eye marking the door blasted backward off of it's hinges.

"What can you tell me about the Council of Seven?"

"That was a pretty dramatic entry." said the Nu Mon as he came out of his sleeping quarters, dressed in a bra of all things.

"Yeeeeaaah… whatever, and aren't you a male."

" Don't ask," he said cheerfully " And nbow back to the drama

" T-there are seven major judges, and four minor ones, who move up when a major judge dies. The minor judges are drawn from the academy." No…no… please I'll do anything…" the pleading cut off as the speaker died.