Title: Maybe Baby
Author: Koo
Feedback: Yes, but please be kind as this is my first… Not beta'd so I hope it doesn't suck too bad!
Rating: PG 13 (for some slight cursing)
Summary: The team discovers the consequences of a indulging in some local ale with the natives- Rodney is not impressed.
Work In Progress: Yes
Season/Episode: Starts in Season 2 then flashes back to Season 1
Spoilers: None really
Disclaimer: This is purely for my own enjoyment – Don't own the characters, the tech, the galaxy – nada. Unfortunately, coz it'd sure be cool if I did!
Author's notes: I got this idea from "Runner" when McKay was talking about his reproductive abilities with Major Lorne… Mostly just a bit of fun. I don't have kids either, so I have no idea if any of this is particularly accurate either. I didn't expect it to go any further but thanks to some kind reviews, I'd decided to continue it… and as a result, it's blown out big time lol.
PART I
"You have got to be kidding me!"
Dr Beckett sighed dismally. "I wish I was Colonel, but I'm not."
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard was with Dr Beckett in the infirmary of the Atlantis base. The labour had been difficult and they had come close to loosing Sharia, a native of PU-X78 who desperately needed medical assistance during childbirth but now mother and child were resting peacefully. Sheppard stared down at the tiny baby in the makeshift crib. What Carson had just told him was a shock and he shook his head in disbelief.
"Have you done a DNA test?"
Carson nodded an affirmative. "Aye. And it was conclusive."
"So..." John trailed off expectantly and somewhat fearfully.
Carson thrust both hands into the pockets of his white lab coat and rocked back on his heels. He kept his eyes on the baby, avoiding the piercing gaze of the military leader beside him. "There is no doubt that Dr McKay is that child's father."
Sheppard gave a low impressed whistle. "Does he know?"
The medical Doctor cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I, ah," he swallowed. "I don't think he does. Sharia's sister, Kirra, told me the ale you were served on your visit to PU-X78 was a kind of fertility drink. It appears that Rodney has no recollection of the events of that night."
"He's not the only one." Sheppard muttered, turning away.
"You had that drink too?"
Sheppard shrugged. "Well, yeah, we all did. Even Teyla. Best night's sleep I've had off world-" He frowned as he thought back to that relatively stress free mission. It had been one of the rare times no horrible disasters had befallen his team. No wraith, no hostile natives, nada. Actually, the natives turned out to be more than just friendly. "Hmm. I don't really remember, come to think of it."
"I think we need to get Rodney in here."
Sheppard nodded once and quickly tapped his headset. He was both looking forward to seeing what will be the scientist's no doubt explosive reaction and dreading it but more than anything, he realised they would have to break this news to the scientist gently.
"Rodney, we need you in the infirmary ASAP."
Carson watched as Sheppard winced, obviously copping an earful from the scientist. "Just get down here Rodney," John said in a tone that brooked no argument. Carson guessed McKay argued anyway because the Colonel growled, "Now, McKay!"
----------oOo----------
PART II
It wasn't long after when they found the young woman Kirra cooing to the sleeping baby in her arms as the steady stream of visitors came through the infirmary to meet the first child born in the city of Atlantis in over 10,000 years.
The doors to the visitors lounge opened with a quiet hiss and as Dr. Elizabeth Weir and John stepped through, they heard the baby's gurgles and the ooh's and ahh's of the Atlantis's personnel crowding around Kirra holding the child. She spotted the two leaders and smiled as they made their way into the room towards her.
"I wanted to introduce him to your people, since he is the first child to be born in the city of the Ancients in many many years." Kirra smiled broadly.
Elizabeth's heart skipped slightly as she caught sight of the baby for the first time. "I think it's done wonders for moral for them to see the baby." Elizabeth smiled, immediately noting the happy faces of the people crowding the room. Most of them were women admittedly, Teyla included, but some how she wasn't surprised to see Dr. Zelenka with his little finger wrapped tightly in the baby's tiny fist. His eyes lit up as he grinned happily at the new arrival.
"Yes, but I find it unusual that his father has not yet been to see him until now." Kirra frowned, the broad smile slipping slightly from her face.
"His father?" Dr Weir enquired curiously, remembering that only females had come through the gate a few hours ago when they received the distress call from PU-X78.
"Yes," Kirra nodded sagely. Before Elizabeth was able to ask anything more, more people pressed close and Kirra was once again swallowed up by an adoring crowd, all trying to get close to the baby.
Elizabeth turned to John with her eyes wide in surprise and her jaw uncommonly slack. "Rodney?" Dr Weir said incredulously, "Rodney is the father?"
"According to Kirra." John paused for effect. "And Carson has confirmed it with a DNA test."
Elizabeth snapped her mouth shut and shook her head in confusion as she watched Kirra smile and laugh joyously with the baby. "But how did this happen?"
John raised an eyebrow and gave a lopsided grin. "Do you really need me to answer that?'
Elizabeth caught sight of his grin and sighed. "What I mean to say, is..." She trailed off as a thought struck her. "Does Rodney know yet?"
John smirked. "Nope."
"Oh." She sighed again and sat down heavily in one of the rare plush chairs that dotted the infirmary. She didn't know how Carson managed it, but some how all the most comfortable chairs on the base seemed to end up in the Scot's infirmary. She leaned back and rubbed her temples. She could feel a headache coming on. "This is... Unbelievable."
"Isn't it." John agreed. He chuckled. "Who thought it was a good idea to let Rodney breed?"
"Colonel!"
John threw his hands up in mock surrender at Elizabeth's shocked tone. "All I'm saying is that, well," he shrugged good naturedly, "Rodney isn't exactly father material."
The door to the infirmary swished open once again and Dr McKay strode in swiftly with his head down, concentrating on a yet another unknown piece of ancient technology. He was totally oblivious to the crowd in the small infirmary room. "This had better be good, Carson. I'm in the middle of a major breakthrough!" he announced loudly.
He stopped abruptly and glanced up, suddenly noticing the crush of people. He furrowed his brow in confusion. "What's going on? Has some one got cake?" His eyes brightened, "I hope there is some left over for me."
"Speak of the devil," John grinned at Elizabeth and winked. She couldn't help but notice that the Colonel seemed to be enjoying this a little too much. She cast a worried glance in Kirra's direction. The young woman had spotted the scientist quickly and had taken a few steps forward towards Dr McKay through the crowd, holding the child out towards him. Elizabeth groaned inwardly and rapidly got to her feet, sensing a potentially volatile situation.
"Dr. McKay, this is your son." Kirra's voice rang out clearly over the chatter of the crowd.
Instantly there was hushed silence in the room as everyone waited with bated breath. This was news to all save for John, Elizabeth and Carson. "Oh no," Sheppard muttered under his breath, his grin disappearing. In front of half the (mostly female) personnel in the city wasn't exactly how he had planned to break the news to Rodney.
Rodney looked around at the faces staring at him then stared aghast at gurgling happy child being held out before him, noting Kirra's broad happy smile. "What?"
"Dr McKay, this is your son. The child you fathered with my sister Sharia."
The scientist's mouth popped open.
"Huh?"
For a super genius and the biggest brain on Atlantis, it wasn't the most intelligent of responses. Did Kirra just say what he thought she said? His mind rapidly replayed the words and on the second time around, they sunk in.
Oh. My. God.
This had to be a mistake. His child? What? Didn't you need to... well, you know, to create a kid? Rodney was sure he hadn't done much of that recently, let alone father a child with an alien woman from another planet in another galaxy. With all his exposure to radiation in his life time, he wasn't even sure he could father children!
He took a few steps backwards away from the child Kirra held out to him and knocked over a stool. It landed with a crash on the sterile infirmary floor. Sheppard stepped forward and grasped McKay's elbow while muttering a warning in his ear. "Take it easy, McKay."
McKay continued to stare at the child in horror. The child, sensing the sudden tension in the air and disturbed by the noise of the metallic stool colliding with the floor, started to wail and fail his fists around in upset. Kirra appeared genuinely confused by McKay's reaction and her smile started to slip.
"Easy?" McKay's voice rose an octave. "You're telling me that kid is mine?" He jabbed a finger in the direction of the baby, his eyes wide in panic. Spotting Carson, he spun on his heel to face the Doctor who had stood silently to the side, as thought afraid he would be blamed for the situation. Carson saw the expression in Rodney's eyes, almost begging him to say it wasn't true and the Scotsman sighed inwardly.
"Aye, its true Rodney. The babe is your son. I confirmed it with a DNA test."
McKay's mouth dropped open for the second time in less than five minutes. He turned to stare at the now crying baby in Kirra's arms. Kirra held the child closer to her and cooed to settle his crying, bewildered at the Doctor's reaction.
Sheppard leaned close to Teyla, who had broken away from the crowd to stand with the Colonel and Elizabeth at Rodney's entrance. "I can see the resemblance." he muttered with a half grin, likening the baby's gusty crying to McKay's own explosive tantrums.
Teyla whispered back, "Colonel, this can not be an easy situation for Dr McKay."
McKay continued to back away slowly from Kirra and the baby, moving steadily backwards until he was backed up against the wall. For each step he backed away, Kirra took a step forward.
"That kid can't be mine. I can't have children. I don't know anything about children." McKay swallowed, his voice trailing off and looking miserable. "I would make a terrible father."
He looked around at the people staring at him in shocked silence, as though suddenly remembering he was on show. His face flamed at their accusatory stares.
"What?" he demanded angrily. People continued to stare slack jawed.
Another wail from the child drew his attention back. Kirra had advanced even closer and McKay had no where left to go. He splayed himself against the wall in an effort to keep as much distance as he could between himself and his own offspring.
Carson stepped forward, reaching a hand out pat him consolingly on his arm. "Now, it's alright Rodney. It's a lot to take in."
"Oh my god." he started to pant heavily. "Oh my god!"
"Breathe, now Rodney. Breathe!" Carson urged the scientist in concern, seeing the worked up state he was getting himself into. Teyla moved to Kirra's side and gently manoeuvred her and the child away from the hyperventilating scientist.
"Get me a paper bag!" Carson yelled out over his shoulder to a dark skinned Doctor who hovered nearby. What was his name again? John could never remember. The Doctor quickly pulled open a metal draw and handed out a plain brown paper bag which Rodney promptly snatched.
Rodney gasped and snapped open the bag, breathing deeply into it and taking deep breaths. His eyes continued to be wide saucers above the rapidly inflating and deflating bag. "Easy, Rodney." Carson chided sympathetically.
Seeing the scientist sag against the wall, Sheppard swung into action and pushed a padded chair towards Rodney, who gratefully sunk into it as though his legs could no longer hold him. Rodney continued to stare at the baby as he breathed into the paper bag.
Slowly, people began to chatter excitedly amongst themselves until the volume in the room rivalled the strong loud wails of the little boy. A baby born on Atlantis was excitement enough, but anti-social, obnoxious and incredibly arrogant Dr McKay being the father? The mind boggled!
Shaking herself out of a shocked daze, Elizabeth came to the fore and clapped her hands loudly, gathering everyone's attention.
"Everyone! I know this is an exciting - if not a little surprising - event here in Atlantis, but for the time being, I would appreciate it if everyone could please return to their stations."
A few groans and sighs of disappointment greeted her declaration, but the Atlantis personnel began to file out of the infirmary. Curious glances were thrown over their shoulders towards the still shell shocked physicist as a furious whispering took hold. Dr Zelenka hovered behind the group until all but a few remained. As he went to leave, he rubbed one of the baby's tiny fists gently in farewell. Instantly, the baby's cries stilled and the Czech looked up at Kirran in astonishment. She smiled indulgently at him as he murmured good bye to the child.
As the door to the infirmary swished closed behind him, Zelenka headed back to his lab with a bounce in his step. My, he grinned to himself, but that Rodney could be a dark horse some times.
TBC