6/20/05
For your Family entertainment I would like to share with you this comedy script that was to be preformed in total on Fathers Day however do to time and messy handwriting I was told to type this up. My script which due to copyright laws can not be legally published (unless I take it into stand up comedy) revolves around a famous mythical family and it is to show us that even if we are chosen to save the world our families are by no means perfect yet we can't change the about who they are or what they do. That being said this story takes place A long time ago in a psychiatrist office Far Far Away and involves the Skywalker' not only from the six movies but of the many sci-fi novels.
Now do to the fact that I am typing this out we have to go over the script
All written words are either the person name or what they say
L. Sky means Leia
Lu. Sky mean Luke
An. Sky means Anakin
P. Sky means Padme
Italics is the movements
Bold is the doctors notes
So without any further ado I Present
And you think your Family has Problems
Luke Skywalker and his sister Leia Orgena-Solo are about to land his X-wing in front of Dr. Sigmund Freud office in the year 1925. The Twins now age 40 are to meet with the Jedi Sprit of their Parents Anakin and Padme Skywalker to find out why they became the way they were. It should be noted that Padme age 27 at death and Anakin age 23 when he became Darth Vader and thus spiritually dead look these ages in ghostly form as they had already arrived at the doctors office
Lu Sky: I don't see why we couldn't take the Millennium Falcon.
L. Sky: I told you Han had to take it to Lando's on Cloud City to get it repaired again. You think after over 50 years he would be ready to give up on it but no not The Falcon. Han is sure that spacecraft will last another hundred years. Anyway I still don't see why we need to see this guy I mean I have excepted ours parents death.
Lu Sky: But you still have trouble excepting our parents even after 18 years.
L Sky: I don't have trouble excepting him at all. I named my youngest child after our father or have you suddenly forgotten. She says as they walk through the door of Dr. Freud clinic for mythical creatures
Lu Sky: Mom , Dad how are you. Luke says to the Jedi Sprit of his parents which causes confusion being that they both look fifteen to twenty years younger then he does
An Sky: We are fine Son but if Yoda or Qui-Gon ever find out I used my Jedi ways to bring your mother to another time and Galaxy
Dr. Freud secretary: The Skywalker family. The Dr. will see you now. The Four members of the Skywalker's go into the Doctors office where Sigmund Freud is setting up what in the 1920's was called a Dictaphone
Dr. Freud: I am sorry I have lost all my notepad paper so when I have to make notes I will need to speak into this new invention here. Now can you explain to me one thing before we begin. I understand that the two "younger" Skywalker's are Twins but why do they have different last names. I mean Mr. and Mrs. Skywalker I know your daughter is married and all but I see here that her maiden name was Orgena.
P Sky: Hun I think you should take this
An Sky: Yeah well see they were separated at birth to protect them from my master and myself due to the fact I went totally crazy with power and would have turned them over to him with a slight possibility that they would be slaughtered right then and there
Dr Freud turns on the Dictaphone I see the father plainly had at one point in his life a Jekyll and Hyde experience Maybe you should start at the beginning
An Sky: Okay I have no idea who my own father was. Some say I was what some people on this world Immaculacy Conceived and I was born into slavery. When I was ten years old my wife then 14 and some government officials found me and tried to bring me freedom
Dr. Freud: And what Mrs. Skywalker were you doing at this time when you first met your husband
P Sky: I was the youngest head of state ever elected on my planet and I was stranded on my husbands home world
Dr Freud: I see Mrs. Skywalker obviously a child prodigy in Diplomacy
An Sky: Anyway the other members of the party Jedi's called Qui-Gon-Jin and Obi-wan-Kenobi were able to free me but not able to free my mother as well do to the fact I used my powers to assist myself in a pod race
Dr. Freud: Older male Skywalker early separation from home and family as well as former child prodigy
An Sky: I was the Chosen one
Dr Freud: Possible Messiah Complex as well
Lu Sky: You don't understand my father was suppose to be the chosen one
Dr Freud: We will get to your part of the family story in time I need to hear more about your parents right now. Tell me more about these men who freed you
An Sky: They were part of what is known as the Jedi Order which is sort of what this world's country The United States equal to the FBI. After Qui-Gon death soon after I was Freed Obi-wan trained and raised me for the next 13 years as teacher, father and brother
Dr Freud: Older Skywalker had too intense a relationship with foster father who it seemed drilled the prodigy to the extreme being he was his teacher as well similar to the earlier appointment I had in the day
Lu Sky: Was that they guys with the bats on the wheels of their cars
Dr Freud: Yes. Now Mrs. Skywalker how long after your husband was in training did you hook up with him again
P Sky: Well it was after my term in office had expired. I was asked to go into the senate as some other leaders have done. It was 10 years later and after an assassination attempt on my life that Ani here was assigned to protect me. I was only 24 at the time and my own family was worried for my safety and also that I was to much focused on my political life.
Dr Freud: Mrs. Skywalker's family never liked her career choice
P Sky: Any how that's when Ani and Obi-wan reentered my life and I found myself falling in love with him. However looking back that's when things started also to go bad
Dr. Freud: What do you mean
An Sky: I think I'd better handle this one see one night on protection patrol I had a dream about my mother dying. So I raced back to try to save her
Dr Freud: Did you
An Sky: Well the two of us went to my home planet and found out that my former owner had sold her to a man named Lars who freed and married her
Dr Freud: Subject appears to have angry feelings about his step family
An Sky: Anyway I got to the farm only to find out she was kidnapped and no one would do anything either because they were to weak or to afraid to save her. I rush to her aid only to have my mother die in my arms and I'd killed all who were responsible
Dr Freud: Older Skywalker had traumatic experience with parents death. Can you tell me more about what caused you to have this Jekyll and Hyde experience sir
An Sky: Well after returning I was put into a war and within the first battles I lost my right arm
Lu Sky: Something that would repeat itself 24 years later
An Sky: Thank you son
Dr Freud: Father and Son have similar War experience
An Sky: Anyway I secretly get married because my organization the Jedi are not suppose to be married or have any attachments of any kind
Dr. Freud: Older Skywalker forbidden to have love in his life only to focus on his gifts
An Sky: Anyway three years into my marriage and the war I am informed that I am going to be a father. That's when I start getting similar dreams about Padme here dying like my mother did
Dr Freud: Older Skywalker fears dominate his life. Irrational though they may be
An Sky: Yes they were irrational now looking back on them. However the Politician whom I had since Obi-wan and Qui-Gon found me said he was planning a Cue-de-ta. I at first resisted but you see he said he was the only one who could save her life and that's when I made a decision which would haunt me the next 22 years
Dr. Freud Constant fears make A. Skywalker betray his friends
An Sky: Also this Politician put it in my head that Padme hear was having an affair with Obi-wan a total lie as it were
Dr Freud: A Skywalker fears betrayal by both sides of his family leads him to what did you do
An Sky: I destroyed all but two members of the Jedi Order in my rage including a massive purge of children similar to what I believe in your Bible the Zealots did at Massada
Dr Freud: Deranged madness in the Skywalker family
P Sky: It was then I tired to reason with my husband and he in a fit of angry threw me against the side of a mountain when he saw Obi-Wan with me as well
Dr Freud Sudden abusive tendencies arise when faced what is looked like betrayal
P Sky: Yes I would eventually die after giving birth and my children were separated for 20 years to protect them from their father and that Politician who was now empire of the entire Galaxy. Oh and Ani was not to happy that I had died
Dr. Freud It seemed that this couple was so in love with each other that when one died the other died as well after giving birth. Also the Twins separated and not told about each other
Lu Sky: Yeah it was a shocker when I found out being I wanted to oh what is the appropriate term court her at the time
Dr. Freud Possible Incest relationship that was averted. Now how did your father come back into your life
P Sky: Wait a minute are you telling me that you two were almost in a relationship (she looks at Anakin) Anakin I was on a table reavthing in pain after the icendent thinking of you! This is how out of it I was having two children being forced out of me and wondering what happened to you. DO you know what real pain is like! And I do not want to hear about how being burned to a crisp on the Mustarfar system counts! You let my babies be raised seperatly and caused them no matter of Pycoslogical effects. How could you let that happen Ani!
A Sky: Well I.
L. Sky: MAybe I'll should it from here while my mother rips into my father. My father was now a power hungry lunatic and slave to an even more power hungry lunatic
Dr Freud: Could you explain that to me more
P Sky: Do it Ani at least one person here deserves an explanation and you will be answering to me when we get home.
An Sky: Alright I will explain. See after going mad and injuring my wife Obi-wan and I fought on a Volcano. I was brunt to a crisp and had to be robotically rebuilt. It was 100 at that point I became a slave to the new Emperor who rebuilt me
Dr. Freud: Go on
An Sky: Well for the next 20 years I did whatever the Emperor commanded I was a robot practically going wherever he sent me including my daughters spaceship thought I did not know it was her
Dr. Freud: How do you mean
P Sky: Doctor even I did not know I was carrying Twins when I died.
Dr. Freud: Older Skywalker does not know he had a daughter
An Sky: Or a son their birth was kept from me
Dr. Freud: Older Skywalker never had a chance to raise own children lead to massive depression and guilt over doing so. Now what happened when you found your daughter
An Sky: Well I said she was a spy and blew up the planet that she was living on plus locked her in a prison ward of my ship
Dr. Freud: Older Skywalker takes grounding to the extreme
Lu Sky: I along with my future brother in law and Obi-wan actually come along to rescue her
Dr Freud: Nobel Sibling relationship but possible of one involving incest
An Sky: Oh by the way I should have known she was my daughter because her hair in that style that it was she looked almost exactly like my wife
Dr Freud: Older Skywalker fears of seeing the obvious so what happened next
Lu Sky: Well he killed Obi-Wan in front of both my sister and me. I still had no idea that he was my father in fact I was told my father was killed by him or rather by the name he was going to at that time
Dr. Freud: And what was that name
An Sky: Darth Vader
Dr Freud: Ah most appropriate Darth obviously meaning Dark and Vader the Dutch word coming from the German Vater meaning father Also son and daughter lied to by family members of the history about his parents. Plus son sees mentor killed by father. So what did you do
Lu Sky: Well after that I blew up the space craft he worked from
Dr Freud: Son trashes Dad's office for not spending any time with him over the past 20 years
Lu Sky: Then the next year he captures my friends and my sister again just to get my attention and slices off my right arm
Dr Freud: Emotionally cut off from tries to destroy him
An Sky: Actually I begged him to not let me destroy him. Plus I want to say that my son here mentioned that I cut off his right arm. I did not cut off his arm, it was only the right hand that I cut off. I did not go higher then the wrist. You want real physical pain you should have your arm up till your elbow cut off then talk to me about physical pain.
Dr Freud: Father tries to reconnect with son
An Sky: It was then I said Luke I am your father
Dr Freud: Son confused emotionally because he thought his father long dead
L Sky: Yeah but before that happened he put my future husband in frozen carbonate to sell back to his old boss
Dr. Freud: Father thinks that no one is good enough for his little girl
L Sky: And it is because of that Luke and I had to rescue him and in doing so I can never go to the beach every
Dr Freud: Why Not
L Sky: Because my husbands old boss a giant slug of a creature when he caught me trying to break him out forced me in an act of degradation to wear this hideous gold bathing suit as his slave
Dr Freud: Daughter has irrational feelings towards certain things because of the boys she dated
Lu Sky: Anyway I had to rescue them both which I did and go back to find the truth as to if he was my father
Dr. Freud: Son must confront truth about his monstrous father
Lu Sky: It was then I discovered I had a sister
Dr Freud: Son confused about feelings he has toward sister
Lu Sky: Anyway I tell her that we are related and then I go try to save my father from his own kind of slavery
Dr Freud: Son tries to save father
An Sky: Yes and in doing so he revealed his sister to me
Dr Freud: Father upset and overjoyed at same time news brought him about his daughter
An Sky: Anyway see I had brought him to my master and we had tried to get him to see things from our political point of view on things
Dr Freud: Conservative parent upset with Liberal offspring probably forget he was the very same way when was his son's age
An Sky: My master was so upset he tried to kill him and I watched him do it until I could not take it anymore. I had lost my wife to this man I was not going to lose my son
Dr. Freud: Father finally accepts son for who he is
An Sky: Then I die right in front of my son not afraid of death was I anymore. My son had saved me
Dr. Freud: In saving his son he was saving himself Now I understand that both Luke and Leia finally married and had children of their own
L Sky: Yes I have 3 the first two feternal Twins. One girl and one boy and my brother has a son
Dr. Freud: And Luke how is your relationship with your wife
Lu Sky: Well the first time she saw me she wanted to kill me
Dr Freud: Ah one of those I hate you I love you kind of relationships those are often how the best kind start
Lu Sky: No Doc you don't understand Mara was a hired assassin trained and raised by my father's former master to hunt me down and kill me.
An Sky: Mara? Mara? Are you telling me that red headed green eyed Jade girl I had to help train in assassination technique under pain of death and who drove absolutely crazy grew up to become my daughter in law. Of all the girls in the galaxy why did you pick her?
Dr. Freud: I believe that is a discussion we can go into another time being it seems our hour is up but I tell you what I would like to do and that is meet with both Luke and Leia and their spouses to find out how everything gets along in this family and Mr. Anakin Skywalker you and I need about six sessions a week to work on your problem. I am even going to cancel a prospective other client just to work on you but let me tell you this. You are a father who after ripping his family apart brought them back together not many men can do that
Moments after all the Skywalker's leave Dr Freud is talking to his secretary
Dr Freud: Mary please with that Time Turner you borrowed from Miss Granger go to Hogwarts and inform young Mr. Potter that due to other priorities I will not be able to see him at the Present time
The End