Death Mountain.

I made that trip to Death Mountain quite quickly. I led Epona out of the market. She was a bit feverish about being on the boat for so much time. As I rode out onto the plains I remembered another thing about the ages of stardom in Hyrule. They were slowed down greatly. Besides I now realize that the only people who were reborn at the mark were those who died. So the Mask Salesmen and the Bazaar worker only aged about 5 years. It really was fucking strange how the time passed. Real fucking strange. I then remembered asking Mario one time why the fuck it did that. Mario told me since the level of star power in the area was low, ages of stardom passed more slowly. Would that mean I would live longer? I don't give a fuck anyways. Now I realized something else. I remember Malon at her height of beauty at age 19 back 8 years after the Majora's Mask quest. It was right before the Ninwarcraft wars. She was 16 then. That means she would be 21 now. Same age as me. I still had no clue why Malon kept racing to my mind. I pondered the thought a little longer. Now I realize. I must have Malon back. I had my mind on Misty for some time, and I knew she could never be mine after she and Ash fell into one. After the death of that fucked-up pokemon trainer she would never open her heart again. I just want to fuck Ash's shit up. Fourth age for sure. Anyways, Misty can't always hold a place in my heart. Malon must take that place or else I'm sure this lifetime for me will be extremely destructive.

At that point, I almost said 'fuck it' with the trip to Death Mountain and just ride like the wind to Lon Lon Ranch where I could surely get Malon back- but I needed to talk things over with my sworn brother most of all. I rode up to the feet of Kakariko village. There I got off Epona and climbed the stairs. Kakariko wasn't considerably different- the houses had gained some wear marks, and the windmill had finally slowed down and the well water returned- but other than that, Kakariko was unchanged. As I walked through the grassy town front, I really wondered what Mario was up to. He had taught me so much and became very close to me, but at times I just wanted to tell him to fuck off. It was his training. No swearing pleases the Star Lords. Fuck that. Minimal violence to annoyances. He smacked Yoshi Frutie every time he was being a punk brat. No porno. Yet I masturbated quite often. Mario yet still could not explain then why I was so fucking strong if I was against a lot of the stuff he taught. It was a bitter-sweet love for the plumber, but I could remember more good times than bad. Another thing that I admired about Mario is that he was very honorable and never let in. He never hung his head. He was powerful yet playful and somewhat silly. He was just the feel-good experience to be around. I was on the border of the village waving off to the guard as I head off onto Death Mountain trail.

While walking up the dusty trail, Red tickettes attacked me with their jump attacks- the only way tickettes can move, I heard, is jumping. I had to quickly brandish my sword and slice through them. I never found out why Tickettes were of such harsh nature. They weren't Ganondorf's minions. I didn't want to hurt them. Who gives a fuck they're no one I know. After sticking my sword into the fleshy back of the creature it died. I mean what the fuck were they anyways? They were some kind of insect I guess, not spiders, they only had 4 legs. As I passed Dodongo's cavern, a Goron spotted me and waved. I smiled weakly and waved back. I straightened my posture as well as I realized I was slouching. After rounding a couple of bends, I reached the entrance to Goron City, which was closed. I banged on the heavy door, but there was no way they could hear me. Being how strong I am I thrusted my entire strength into my fist and knocked again. I unintentionally cracked the door in half. Many astonished Gorons started at me from behind the wreck of the great door. I blushed, apologized and said 'it's my fucking fault, sorry dudes.' Darunia came out at all the noise and was angry at first, but after seeing me, he softened and brought me into a brotherly embrace. After about 14 seconds, we released.

"Link... my sworn brother... I haven't seen you since the defeat of the Pokemon on Damned Island. One of the many Ninwarcraft battles that I wouldn't mind forgetting." I nodded in agree. I asked for lodging in the night. Darunia was honored to hear. After getting settled in a stone silo, Link, Darunia's son came to see me. I was his namesake, so I felt obliged to strike up a conversation with him. I asked him "Been to Lon Lon Ranch lately?" I almost smacked myself with such a bad question. I had to admit to myself I was addicted to Malon. Goron Link nodded his head and replied "The area has gotten friendlier ever since the wedding." My mind felt like it had been rammed by five big penises that were wider than they were long. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..." that was the only thing running through my mind. Goron Link noticed my hesitance and hastily continued, "yeah... Talon is a happier man now with that woman he met in Kakariko." The dicks released their surge as I sighed way too loudly. That gave good ol' Goron Link an idea of what just happened.

"Malon is doing fine... I can tell you would like to hear that." He said with a chuckle. "That is unless you're gay for Ingo." I gave him a playful jab. I didn't remember the lil' squirt being so cool so to speak. We spoke for awhile longer as he then mentioned that the volcano had been acting up and it was greatly bothering his dad. I then told the young Goron that I must be excused to have a long night's talk with his dad. Goron Link gave me my space and I told him we'd catch up more in the morning. He seemed to like that idea for a smile widened across his face. I head down a few levels into the chamber of the Goron leader, Darunia. When I entered, he had his head against the wall with a bottle of mountain Scotch is his hand. "Hello?" I said to make my presence noticeable. The Goron leader turned around. "Greetings Link. Please sit down and I'll pour you a drink and tell you of my tale." I sat down at his table and allowed him to pour me some powerful Goron Scotch. Darunia began his tale.

"A year ago, while you were still in Mushroom lands, Volvagia had been reborn. Over the year he's been around, two respected Gorons have been eaten. Please Link. Venture to Death Mountain Crater. He is resting on the spire in the middle of the crater of lava." I vibrated a bit in my seat. Volvagia had fiery breath, and was mighty. Still, I sat there for awhile longer. I finally asked "may I ask how Volvagia was reincarnated?" Darunia looked at me, not changing his stoic figure, and then finally answered "we were visited by a Demon Hunter who had necromancy powers. When we denied him entrance to our honorable stone lair, he became very angry. He then went to the crater and revived the evil dragon with all his might. He morphed into a demon and flew away before we could unleash Goron rage upon him." I stopped and thought about what he just said. A Demon Hunter. Surely it could not have been the honorable Illidan Stormrage from the alternate dimension. Or could it have been? He had been known to switch sides, but the thought of him doing this was unthinkable. Besides, Illidan had no necromancy powers. Demon Hunters were still extremely rare, and Illidan was the only one I knew truthfully.

I knew they were somewhat renegade and any race could become one. Just to check I asked Darunia of what race he was. Darunia answered "It was deffinatly a human with purple skin and many tattoos littering his skin." My mind raced to another point. He had just described Illidan. I asked him if he wore a blindfold and had wings. Darunia nodded his head yes to each. What the fuck? Why would Illidan do that? Still, I had wondered where he had been in the past year. He wasn't at the M.T.Y.L. headquarters and the demon hunter had lost all contact with them. And since Volvagia was brought back with necromancy, what powers could he have? Still I could not say no to my sworn brother. I answered "Consider it done by tomorrow morning." Darunia looked down at the table and asked me to stay for a while longer for he wanted to tell me something else.

"There has been a girl in these lands that dearly wants to see you." My mind rushed to the possibility of it being Malon. There I go thinking about her again. Darunia continued. "Hyrule is blessed with many beautiful women- only one eighth of them Goron. There is a girl in the Kokiri forest who has finished safeguarding the land as a sage and wishes to see you. By now I'm sure you know who I'm speaking of." "Saria?" I asked back. "Why yes. Please go visit her after doing away with Volvagia." I agreed. Before I got up to leave Darunia's room I decided to ask him the same question I asked his son. I then stopped in the middle of doing so. I just stood there, for what seemed awhile but then just left his chamber and head up the series of caves and stairways to my stone silo.

I stopped by my stone silo to change into my Goron tunic. I then left my sword there and grabbed my megaton hammer. This was necessary for fighting the dragon. A flashback hit me again. Right before entering Volvagia's resting place inside the Fire Temple, I rummaged through my inventory for an empty bottle. All I found was some opium inside a leather Goron pipe. "Better not fuck myself up too bad when I'm about to fight off for the Goron's way of life." I thought to myself. I kept looking through my tunic until I found a bottle. It wasn't empty though. It was filled. Filled with Lon Lon Milk. I undid the cork on the bottle and took a small sip of the milk. I let it sit there on my palettes as I lightly swished it around in my mouth. For a very odd reason it felt somewhat erotic. Almost as if I tasted more than just milk. Something like a powerful sexual drive- and it reminded me of Malon. After recovering from my bit of shock from remembering that sweet memory I geared up for the battle. I then left the Goron village.

I rounded the bend on Death Mountain trail and headed up the incline onto the parallel trail that led to the crater. It wasn't especially hard to travel, besides killing off a couple of Skultuals. After reaching the entrance, I sucked in my breath, and continued on. Inside the crater it was quite warm. Then I saw him. Volvagia, who was sleeping on the center spire. "In order for me to kill him..." I thought, "he needs to be awakened." I grabbed a heavy stone and lifted it up with no effort. I then threw it at Volvagia who was a good 500 feet away. Perfect hit. The dragon went reeling as it awoke with a jolt. It saw me quickly and went right for me. I started to run around the crater and even made quite a daring jump to the broken bridge, right as I felt the heat of his fire breath right behind me. It was so hot I was almost in pain but I quickly climbed up the rest of the broken bridge.

I pulled out my hammer and stood my ground. It came flying towards me, and I readied a blow to his skull. I swung a little too early, and his horns impaled me in my flank. I then went flying, way off the current platform I was on and into one of the crater walls. I nearly fell into the lava, but I grabbed a crease in the crater wall. Volvagia geared up for his final fiery blow. I fumbled for my hookshot, grabbed it, and aimed for his woody horns. I fired, latched on and jumped onto his skull. I then realized I was bleeding horribly from the horn thrust. But no time to worry about that. Having a heavy thick skull and no scalp, he couldn't feel me on his head. He looked around a little confused. I quickly grabbed my hammer and smashed his skull. Volvagia then threw his head up, sending me flying. I quickly found ground and held my place on the highest point in the crater. Meaning also it was the coolest, letting me focus on combat. Volvagia came at me again, but this time my attack was too late. Before I even swung I felt his heaving head bashing me, causing me to hack up blood and vomit all over his eyes. He blinked profusely while gaining his balance in the air. I felt like the worst shit ever at that point. I ached in every fucking part of my body- especially my stomach. I coughed and tried to catch my breath, still realizing all the blood coming through my mouth as I wet myself in sheer discombobulating.

My eyes became blurry as I heard Volvagia's dragon scream fill the air. I vaguely saw him wind up for another fierce blow. I readied my hammer and swung out of sheer luck. Whether it was the Star Lord or the Sage Rauru that helped me, his skull cracked, and Volvagia was bleeding. Volvagia's quick jaw bit me in the same place his horn rammed into, leaving me bleeding greatly. I began to scream in pain, not quite even being able to function at this point. I quickly finished him off by destroying his brains with a hammer blow. His body slipped under the lava, while I clutched my side and lay there until I passed out. I was in more pain then I had ever felt before. Even as Ganondorf injected me with black magic in the Second Age of Stardom... that mindfuck was nothing like the bleeding I was going through.

Before passing out, I remember one thing. I was there lying on the dirt ground of Death Mountain crater. It was no longer uncomfortably hot. It came down to a safe warmness. I let go a small sigh. I then saw parting clouds in the sky. Then I slipped into a pleasurable dream...