Hope you all enjoy this more then the last chapter. This one i worked real hard on...Enjoy!
Repercussions
"Kate." His voice echoed long into the night.
She had completely forgotten where she was in the heat of everything. Her mind and body was lost.
"Kate." He called again in a surprising lighter tone.
With her name called again she was called to awareness.
She felt a breeze wisp across her naked back. The sudden sound of people and the waves washing up on shore filled her ears. Darkness turned to light in front of her closed lids. Moving around feeling the heat of a body next to her she realized it was morning.
"Kate."
She opened her eyes. Focusing she came to see she was in Sawyer's tent. In Sawyer's bed lying next to…Sawyer. She saw his back pressed up against hers as it heaved with each breath.
Sitting up she soon discovered she was completely naked. Her bare chest heaved with a quivering breath as she became panicky. Had she done it? Had she actually done it? Looking over to Sawyer laying there in the same state as herself, she got her answer. She had slept with Sawyer.
"Kate."
She was called to quick attention again by her name. She thought in sleep it was Sawyer calling her when in fact it was Jack.
He was out on the beach obviously looking for her.
Panicked she jolted off the makeshift bed. Gathering her clothes from the sandy ground she got dressed as quickly as she could. Pulling her shirt over her head and then slipping on her pants she looked over every few seconds hoping Sawyer didn't wake up. If she happened to get caught she could work her way out of it, but if Sawyer came out this morning would start with a fight.
Swiftly tying her hair back she gave one glance back to Sawyer before heading out of his tent. Her attention caught she didn't see Jack as she bumped into him mere feet from the entrance of Sawyer's tent.
"Whoa!' He called out catching her in his arms.
Her heart sank. Was she safe or screwed?
"Kate." He said as she looked up to him with guilt written all over her.
"Oh. Jack." She smiled meekly trying to cook up some lie.
Jack looked past her to Sawyer's tent. The look he gave her seemed to one tell her he was putting together the pieces.
"What are you doing out here so early and in Sawyer's tent no less?" Jack asked with a chuckle.
Kate looked awkwardly back to Sawyers tent. Images of them together only hours before flooded her mind.
"Uh… I came out here to clear things up between us." Kate explained with nervous laugh.
"Well I hoped it worked you've seemed a little down lately…" He slowly stopped seeing her concentrated stare with the waves.
She always had something on her mind when she stared liked that.
"Kate are you ok?" Jack asked raising his hand to cup her cheek.
Kate pulled away in punishment to herself. She didn't deserve his touch anymore. Not after what she did.
Jack pulled back to her reaction.
"I'm fine. I jus..t have to go back to the caves." She stuttered as she turned away.
Jack stood there watching her walk up the beach. He was confused. She was acting so odd lately. It was starting to worry him.
He waited a couple minutes and followed her back to the caves. Not to be nosey, just to make sure she was alright. He was afraid she was repressing some past memory or feeling. It was just really odd to him that she fell into this spell after they slept together.
That night they slept apart, but close enough. Close enough that Jack could've sworn he heard her crying in her sleep. He stayed up half the night just watching her sleep longing for to lie next to her. Whatever she was going through he wanted to wrap her in his arms and tell her it was all right, but he knew he couldn't just get her to ease up so easily. It was never easy and sometimes wasn't pretty trying to get her to open up.
Kate got up with the sun. She had had a restless sleep knowing the man she adored dearly and the man she cheated on the night before slept only a few feet from her no doubt watching her sleep. It ached her to know what she had done. To know that sooner or later with Sawyer's ego and mouth this man would know what she did.
Packing some needed stuff; she headed out for a walk. A walk to clear he conscience and mind of the torment she was brining upon herself. Some of the others were awake in the caves. Charlie sitting in his desolate corner strumming his guitar, Locke quickly came in gathering his knives and headed out with Boone for a new hunt, and Hurley the only other person awake sat trying his hardest to gut a fish.
She looked around at all of them seeing them go about their lives. A slight smile came to her lips knowing, well hoping in her head that none of them had a past that she ran from like hers or present for that matter. Then she looked down to Jack.
Dear sweet Jack. The true man among these savages. The man that was causing her these feelings. Her smile faded looking down upon him. She needed to get out of there. Without a thought she turned away and headed out of the suffocating caves.
About an hour had passed by and she was a mile or so from the caves and even further from the beach. She trotted along the dim path scraping her boots along the dirt and weeds in the ground. She was in absolute thought. Thought about what she had done and how she could get herself out of it. There were no conclusions, but Jack yelling at her and never speaking to her again.
"What are you doing so far by yourself?" He asked.
She had been so deep in her own thoughts that she didn't hear him following her for the last half an hour. She barely heard his words.
"Oh so now you're too good to even talk to me." He chuckled in sarcasm.
She stopped and turned around.
"Sorry I was thinking too loud." She joked turning around to face him with a smile concealing her guilt.
"Thinking too loud about what?" He had to ask as he soon joined her in walking.
He didn't wanna push her into opening up. She had to do it on her own. But this was a way to push her along.
"About the island. All the stuff we've been through." She said in unconscious walk along side him.
"Oh…"He replied thinking this might be the reason why she was so out of it. But still it seemed too easy.
Kate wasn't really bothered by him being there with her. It was a relief. It was weird too. An hour or so earlier she could stand to look at him without feeling overtaken by her own regret.
They walked in silence for a long while. Both thinking to themselves about their own matters. Both questioning why they other had traveled so far out here.
"So why's you follow me out here?" Kate finally spoke up.
Jack looked at her with an odd look.
"Well cause I miss spending alone time with you and I thought what better way then to follow you out here on one of your thought filled walks." He explained.
Kate realized at that moment that he either was covering up that he knew something was going on. Or he truly wanted to spend time with her. Neither would have surprised her.
"So you came out her to spend time with me?" She questioned trying to overt any possible badgering if in fact he did know what was going on.
"Yes I did. I mean I haven't really even had a conversation with or spoke more then two sentences to you since that night. " He said in a slight wining tone.
She knew he was going somewhere.
"Well Jack I've been busy." She said confronting him face to face as she stopped.
This was harder then he thought it would be. She really didn't wanna tell him what was wrong. But he had an idea.
Quickly he caught up to her and grasped her arm turning her to him. She looked up to him with question meeting his eager face.
"Hey. Why don't we do it again?" He suggested.
"Do what again?" She questioned.
"The beach. Me. You. Alone under the stars." He said with an excited smile.
"Jack I don't kn-"
"Come on Kate." He begged now holding onto her hand.
She thought about it. Would this get her into more trouble? Or could it ease over the wounds? There was only one way to know.
"Ok." Kate sighed.
Jack's smile grew bigger as he came in close dropping her hand between them. His sent was too much for her.
"You see alone time is always good." He smiled kissing her gently on the forehead.
She was sick to her stomach at the thought of alone time with Jack, but through the sickness she smile eagerly telling him she was all right.
The two finished the walk back to the caves. They stayed apart for the rest of the night doing chores and helping out. Kate felt sick the whole time knowing what that night would bring. Constant looks over to Jack didn't help.
As the sun dropped and the moon came up they put some stuff together and readied for their "alone time" on the beach. This time they got two blanket incase some unwelcome visitors made appearances. Ready Jack told Locke to hold down fort. Wrapping his arm discretely around Kate who felt like falling to the ground they headed out to that lovely spot on the beach.
They set up a small fire and laid out their blankets. Now they sat watching the waves under the stars like Jack had said. Kate sat tensely in his lap so close to him she was barely able to stand it. She still didn't know why she had agreed to this.
"You're quiet." He whispered pushing her hair from shoulder.
"Well it's just so peaceful I hate to ruin the moment with talk." Kate lied knowing exactly why she was so quiet.
She quickly tensed up as his hand crept up her back. His fingers slowly walked up her spine. She didn't know if he was trying to arouse her or comfort her. Soon it was up on shoulder. Digging his thumb into the base of her neck. It felt so good, but so wrong. Rolling her neck to her side images of Sawyer flashed in front of her eyes. She shouldn't be enjoying this.
Jack slowly shifted under her moving his thumb down her spine. Suddenly his lips brushed against her neck.
"Oh god.' She thought to herself.
"You so tense Kate." He whispered in that doctor tone of his.
Of course she was tense. She was bottling up everything.
"Well this place ain't the most stress free place in the world." Kate sighed trying to ease up.
"Sure ain't.' Jack laughed kissing her neck again.
He had to feel her muscles tighten up. His lips were playing over her skin so close he could probably feel her blood boiling. Slowly his hand snuck up her leg and to her stomach resting there before burrowing it ways under her shirt that was drenched in sweat. His fingers again played over her skin irritating her sense. She wanted nothing more to give in and have sex with him, but she couldn't.
"Jack I can't do this." Kate cried as she stood up.
"Why not?" Jack questioned looking up at her.
"I just can't all right?" She explained.
Jack sighed in aggravation. He lowered his head. He had had enough of the games and the sweet-talking. They were getting him nowhere. He had to cut to the chase.
"What's wrong with you Kate?" Jack asked.
"Nothing." Kate said shaking her head.
Jack shook his head in thought. He couldn't believe she was acting like this. She wouldn't even talk to him. He started to think back to all that happened since they slept together that night and he ended up with Sawyer. She had started acting like this since Sawyer had come up to her that day. Sawyer seemed to be the cause. Then he remembered what Sawyer had said to him.
"I'm not the one lying."
Slowly he realized that he had to be talking about Kate. Was Kate lying to him about something? It seemed to be true, but what was she lying about? There only seemed to be one logical reason.
He looked up from his thought to see her standing in the surf looking out to the stars. He almost felt bad opening his mouth, but he had to know.
"Is there something going on between you and Sawyer?" He asked with a sour feeling in the oit of his stomach.
Kate swallowed hard. He knew. He actually knew. All this time probably. She had two options in the moment. Either tell him the truth and beg for forgiveness or take the low road and deny it. She took the low road.
"What? How could you even think that?" She questioned as she turned around.
"Well seeing how you've been depressed since Sawyer said something to you the day after we slept together, you were gone all night two nights ago, and when I did find you you were rushing out of Sawyer's tent. Plus not to mention that time you avoided me by slipping into his tent." Jack explained his reasoning.
Kate was almost certain she couldn't escape this, but now she had plunged in headfirst she had to swim for it.
"Oh so that means there something between us?" Kate questioned hoping he bought her rage.
"No, but you're sure acting like guilty Kate." Jack said.
She was guilty. She had to get out of this before she fell apart.
"I can't believe you Jack. I can't believe you think I would go behind your back." Kate cried as she picked up her stuff and started for the trail back to the caves.
"Kate look-"
"No Jack I'm tired of looking." Kate said repeating herself from earlier.
She said nothing else and didn't look back at him as she headed up to the trail. As she was certain he couldn't see he she began to run. She ran away. Away from Jack. Away from her problems. Away from the world.
Jack stayed on the beach. No strength from his unneeded guilt from what he just did. He lay there in the warmth of sand staring into the fire. He didn't sleep only sulked.
Sawyer made his way early in the morning out into jungle to relieve himself. He hadn't remembered much from the day before. He had been in a daze most of the day from the night before that. But he did realize that Kate had left him early in the morning and it left a snickering thought in his mind. She most likely felt guilty or wrong about what she did.
Standing behind a tree it felt good to let it out. He had had to go all night, but frankly he was lazy. Zipping up his pants he came to notice a small whimpering cry behind him. Looking over his shoulder he saw Kate huddled up against a tree crying.
He swore he was seeing things. Walking up he rubbed his eyes making sure he wasn't in fact hallucinating. Focusing his eyes he still saw her. He got closer and obviously made himself known.
Her head jolted up. He was taken back by her tear stung eyes and red face. He hated seeing her like this and didn't know what to say. Feeling awkward he did the first thing that came to his mind.
"Freckles. I was wondering where you wondered off to yesterday." He smiled hoping to change her from sad to pissed off.
Anything was better then her being sad even if it meant pissing her off.
"Leave me alone." She warned getting up
Grabbing her stuff she headed off to the caves or any other place then that. She wasn't in the mood for anyone let alone him. Still with the warning he followed her.
"Guess I was your first one night stand." He stated with an amuse filled chuckle.
Kate quickly turned around and without warning slapped him hard across the face. As quickly as she slapped him he grabbed her hand and brought his own to his stinging face.
"What in the hell is your problem?" He yelled trying to hold his anger in.
"It's none of you business." She growled as she pulled her hand back with all her might. It felt good to hit him and let something out.
She turned with a hate filled stare and continued on knowing he was following her.
"Is it Jack?" He asked trying to hurry behind her.
"No.' She answered walking faster.
With her answer he realized what it was.
"You're feeling guilty about what we did the other night aren't you?" He asked stopping.
Kate stopped with his words. He was right. He was always right and that scared to the point of tears.
"Oh so it is my business isn't it?" He asked slowly walking up to her.
She lowered her head in tears. She couldn't take it anymore. She had to face it. She had done something wrong. This felt worse to her then killing or running or even robbing that bank. This tore her up inside.
"You're fighting yourself inside cause of how you feel towards me and the doc aren't you?" He asked turning her around to him
When he turned around he grew ill. She looked up to him in desperation choking back tears of guilt. She wanted so bad to tell Jack, but she didn't want to hurt him. She also wanted badly to curl up in Sawyer's arms. She knew he wouldn't comfort her, but his arms gave her that feeling. That almost real feeling she had when she lay in Jack's arms. And so she did.
"Hey. It's ok." Sawyer assured her in a soft voice unrecognizable to her.
It didn't matter to her how her talked. She just wanted him to take her away.
"You wanna talk about it?" He asked tilting her head up.
She nodded her head.
"Ok. Come on." He said leading her in his arms like Jack did.
Coming into the caves Jack looked around for Kate. He looked in each cave and over where she slept. She was nowhere. He was worried now. After how he treated her he deserved the feeling. Turning around after putting his stuff away he saw Charlie walk in.
"Have you seen Kate?" He asked.
"No thought she was with you." Charlie answered.
"She was…" Jack slowly went off as he thought to himself.
Why had all this started?
SawyerWithout saying anything he jolted off out of the caves and headed to the beach. Heading to Sawyer's tent seeking out Kate.
Kate sat in front of Sawyer trying her best to look away. She wiped away her tears, but they soon came back remembering the last time she was there.
"Kate look at me." He called turning her face to him.
"You shouldn't feel this shity cause of him." He said hoping to make her feel better.
"But I do Sawyer." She cried.
"Don't." He seemed to warn in one simple word.
She closed her eyes taking a deep breath. She felt somewhat calm until she felt his lips next to her ear like that night.
"Don't let him get you down Freckles." He whispered in the dark tone.
Shivers went down her spine as she dared herself not to look at him, but she couldn't help it. Opening them she saw him again. Like she did that night before. A feeling of want came over her. A want to be taken. Taken away from everything.
Slowly she did what her body wanted and her heart protested against. Leaning in she kissed him. Soft and slowly taking in the feeling of letting go. As she kissed him tears trickled down her cheeks.
Jack walked out on the beach catching the attention of some others along with Sayid and Shannon who knew what was going on. They had from the night they heard Kate moaning Sawyer's name in the night. They also saw them just walk into his tent together. They knew it wasn't good. All was about to burst.
"What do you think is going to happen?" Shannon asked never turning her eyes from Jack walking furiously towards Sawyer's tent.
"I don't know." Sayid answered simply.
Jack walked quickly with a heavy foot. Storm clouds gathering overhead seemed to be an omen of what was about to happen. Standing at the entrance Jack took a deep breath as he grabbed the tarp and pulled it back. What he saw ripped him apart.
"Kate?" He questioned in quivering voice.
Kate's heart stopped as she pulled away from Sawyer. Was she imaging it? By the look on Sawyer's face as he turned away she wasn't.
"Hello Jack." Sawyer greeted him in a low sulk.
She closed her eyes as she became alarmingly nervous. Slowly she turned around to face what she prayed would happen.
"How could you?' Jack asked with a face that broke her heart.
"Jack this isn't what you think." She tried to explained buttoning her shirt back up.
His face turned from shock to anger.
"Oh I'm not seeing you with your clothes off making out with Sawyer?" He asked.
"Jack…" She winded getting up.
Without a word he turned around and stormed out. This about to go public.
"Jack!' She called rushing after him.
Walking out onto the beach rain suddenly began to pour down. Kate looked up at the coincidence in weather. Jack continued walking, but slowly stopped telling himself to face this.
She quickly became aware of the people around them whispering about the ordeal, but she soon looked back to Jack who stood unmoving in the pouring rain.
"How could you d this to me Kate?" He questioned trying to keep his distance.
She said nothing and that just made him madder.
"Did you sleep with him?" He asked causing a slow commotion among those on the beach as Sawyer came up behind her.
Kate looked up through her tears that had mixed with the rain.
"Yes." She answered in utter shame as the crowd around them erupted.
Jack turned in anger.
"And you make me out as the bad guy?" He questioned more to himself.
"But Jack I nev-"
"No Kate."
"Jack please." She pleaded.
"No more lies. No more forgiveness."
"I'm so sorry." She begged falling to her knees.
"No more." He ended as he turned and walked through the people towards the trail to caves.
"Jack I'm sorry." She cried as she officially broke down.
He didn't hear her. He was long gone and frankly didn't care. He left her in the scrutiny of the crowd as she nearly lay in the sand sobbing as ran beat down on her back. Feeling uncomfortable Sawyer turned without a look, but full of remorse and walked into his tent to shroud himself yet again.
Kate sat there in the sand crying and pleading with God to let it be over. The crowd turned away as Sawyer and Jack had done going back to their lives. Leaving her in a wallow of pity of the repercussions from what she started.