I know it's been a while, but here you go. Hope you enjoy. I finally finsihed the lay out on how i'm going to write this. It's about to get interesting. Enjoy!

After and Yet Again

Storms subsided, but the fighting didn't. Kate followed him and tried her best to get him to listen, but he wouldn't have it. He sent her away. Away to the beach and that was where she went.

That night she sat on the beach. She made a small camp for herself with a cozy fire and her blanket laid out. Her body was so drug down she sunk it into the sand. She just sat there staring into the fire aimlessly. All she saw was Jack. His smile, his laugh, just him. Soon she couldn't take it. Lowering her head tears fell off her face to the sand. With the people on the beach in hiding she still knew someone watched her. She could feel their eyes on her back.

He watched her. Standing outside his tent he watched her and felt sorry for what he had done. He honestly felt bad about seeing her like this. It felt worse then when Jack had done something cause he had cause this. God how he hated this feeling. Taking along drag of his cigarette he threw it to the ground. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind like he always did. Still he felt remorse as he took one more look of her before going inside.

The next day came with aggravation. The heat of the sun beat down on her face. She didn't wanna move. She just wanted to lie there and let the sun slowly dry her up. Then she'd turn into sand and float away into the ocean. That was her only way off that island sadly. To become sand what people walked on there.

With hesitation she got up. She didn't do much because frantically no one wanted to be around her. So she sat there for the first time and did nothing. She just stared into the ocean wanting nothing more then to turn back time, but that was impossible even for where they were.

She got up once to walk around and stretch, but she came right back. Sitting down in front of the water watching the waves come up and go back out. Was this what had become of her? Looking around everyone gave her looks. Looks of anger. Turning away she felt low. Lower then she had ever been.

Three days went by and she hadn't said a word to Jack. She hadn't even seen him. It had bothered her. It bothered her that three days before he was her world and her of him. Now they or her tried his best to avoid her.

Life slowly became common on the beach. It was so much more relaxed and quieter on the beach. It wasn't the center for victims of horrible accidents or sickness. It was just relaxing. Still it wasn't for her. Not without Jack. She couldn't relax without being with him or at least near him. She had to see him.

Walking down the trail to the caves she felt nervous. Her heart raced along with her mind.

What was going to happen?

Would he say anything to her?

She really didn't care she just wanted to see him. Yet she didn't expect what she got.

Walking in the stares were worse then what they were on the beach. Their eyes tortured her as she walked over to the waterfall.

Turning away from them she casually looked around for Jack. He wasn't there. So she went along with her plan and walked over to the water.

Pulling out her water bottles she dunked them into the water. As they filled up she heard his voice.

"There's some about not even half a mile south." He said.

She turned around seeing him talking to one of the survivors. He didn't look miserable like she probably did. He looked good. So good she couldn't keep her eyes off of him. She just wanted him to walk over and everything would be ok, but it wouldn't work that way.

Everyone seemed to take notice that they were within ten feet of each other and nothing was being said or yelled for that matter. Kate didn't pay attention to them and neither did Jack. God how she wanted to say something to him, but she didn't have the guts. Still she had an idea to at least get him to notice her.

Filling up the last of the water bottle she got up and headed towards him. The closer she got the more nervous she became. Slowly she walked past him and then looked back. He didn't see her. He looked away to Charlie who obviously was paying attention to her rather then Jack.

This tore her up. He didn't see her. Not even a glance. He was so angry with her that he couldn't look at her. Tears came to her eyes, but she held them back not wanting to create a scene, but Charlie could tell she was ready to cry. And it made him sad. Turning around she couldn't face him anymore. As fast as she could without running she went back to the beach.

She lay there under the star she once treasured crying to herself. Wrapped up in a blanket she held her arms tight to her chest holding her heart from falling out. She was in pain. Her heart ached. Looking up to the stars she sobbed. She remembered what Jack had said to her.

"Not as beautiful as you."

Slowly she cried herself to sleep replaying all that had happened over and over in her mind. She had screwed up and there was no way out of it.

Sayid and Shannon heard her cry that night. They heard her calling out for Jack and begging for a second chance. It broke their hearts to see her like this. They wanted to do something to cheer her up. Maybe talk to her and let her know that not everyone was against her.

Waking up wasn't something Kate wanted to do. She wanted more then ever to become sand. But after and hour or so she forced herself to get up and at least look somewhat alive.

She looked over seeing Sayid and Shannon heading her way. She closed her eyes really not in the mood to deal with anyone any more. But still her unenthused state didn't stop them.

Shannon slowly sat kneeled down next to Kate as Sayid stood behind her. Kate didn't up.

"Are you ok?" Shannon asked.

Kate couldn't believe she even cared.

"I'm fine why?' Kate turned lying to herself and them.

She looked up to Sayid and then back down to Shannon who continued her stare.

'Well because of what you – I mean what happened between you and Jack." Shannon replied.

"And why do you care?" Kate snapped causing a snobby look from Shannon. She went to say something back, but was stopped by Sayid pulling her up and coming down in her place.

"Look Kate, we're worried about you. We think you should go talk to hi-"

"Don't you think I've tired?" Kate wined feeling that all too familiar feeling in her stomach.

'Yes, but if you show him that you're willing to not give up maybe he'll listen and you can work it out." Sayid suggested.

The thought of working it out sounded so good to Kate, but it came with an all too unwanted fight. A fight that would most likely lead her to the same place she was in now. Solitude.

Her eyes began to water at the thought a place worse then this. Could there be one?

"Take my advice Kate." Sayid seemed to order more then suggest.

Kate sat there not really taking what he said to heart. She just looked forward and went off into her own little world. As the situation became awkward Sayid stood and turned to Shannon. He whispered something to her and got a small attitude. Soon he came behind her and she kneeled down next to Kate with a sigh.

"You guys will work it out.' Shannon smiled sarcastically before standing up and walked away with Sayid.

They left her sitting there with a decision in her head. She knew she could probably sit there all day and think about it. It's be a long time before she'd see him again and she'd just worry about it then.

Within minutes her whole plan changed. She looked back to see Jack coming out on the beach. The emotions quickly became caught up in her body. A decision had to be made. Go and talk or stay and sulk.

He walked down the beach glancing her way She thought he saw her, but her looked right past her smiling at someone else. That smile. That smile was all she needed to make her decision.

Slowly she got up. As she began to walk her legs became shaky, as she got closer. She kept her eyes on him watching. Watching the way his lips moved, the way his eyes danced when he talked. God she was going to explode over all the feelings she had for him. Slowly he looked up to her.

She froze. Suddenly she couldn't walk. His eyes upon her felt cold. There was no happiness in them anymore. Only anger.

Standing there keeping his daze her heart raced and her body shook. Then slowly he looked away. Back to who he was talking to. As the conversation ended he glanced back up to her and then turned away. Telling her that apologizing wasn't going to happen that day. Instead she would stand in place watching him walk away again.

Weeks went by and Kate distanced herself further. She didn't wanna talk to anyone, she didn't wanna wake each morning, wait knowing he'd come out there and not even look at her. She was tired of looking out and seeing the same ocean. She hated that island and everything about it. She wanted now more then ever to get off that island.

She lay there at night and sat there in the day wishing she had never got on that plane. Wanting to be in that cold cell awaiting execution. It was a far better feeling then feeling the guilt of betraying someone you love.

It had been a month since Jack had caught her in Sawyer's tent. No one else paid attention to the time that went by, but she did. She counted the days since her had touched her, kissed her, even looked at her. It helped her pass the days, but it also condemned her.

Midday of someday on that island, Kate had wondered off into the jungle to cut wood. She didn't wanna rely on the others any more. She felt too much like a burden.

She had lost time being away for so long. She had chopped enough wood for both camps. It was to the point where she could barely lift the axe off the ground. Between the lack of energy from not sleeping and not eating to all her emotions taking over her body she had grown to state of shaking. Most of the time it was a light shaking, but when she would sit and think it became on the verge of convulsing.

It didn't matter anymore to her. Her health was just something else that would soon leave her along with everything else in her life.

Stopping, she stood there for a second and took a break. She was pushing herself. Taking a deep breath she struggled to raise the axe. Brining it behind her head her weakness gave in and the axe brought her weight down. The axe came to the ground inches from her foot. She had missed the wood completely.

"Dammit!" She muttered with a deep exhale.

"You need to watch it there Freckles. Almost lost a foot." Sawyer chuckled.

He never came around at the right time. Always when she was vunerable.

"Not now Sawyer!" She growled as she brought her hand, which shook, violently to her hand to wipe away the sweat and her hair.

Sawyer saw this and then came to see that her body shook.

"You ok?" He asked seriously worried about her.

Kate closed her eyes as she became dizzy. She couldn't do this right now.

"I'm fine Sawyer! Just leave me alone!" She yelled turning her back to him trying to hide her obvious state.

Quickly it became hard to stand and she had to brace herself up against a tree. Her stomach began to turn, as it seemed to do everyday for the last week. This was really pushing her limits.

"Kate you're worrying m-"

She stopped him as his hand came to her shoulder. She spun around getting in his face.

"I don't need you, Sayid, Shannon, or anyone else worrying about me! I don't need anybody!" She yelled before she suddenly became noshes.

She quickly swallowed the feeling and looked to Sawyer who stood it shock.

"Leave me alone." She whispered as the feeling came about again.

Quickly she gathered her things. Without a word she turned and walked away.

She left Sawyer to stand there in question. She wasn't doing good and to him she was obviously denying it. She needed help, but wouldn't take it. He knew should talk to her, but she wouldn't listen to him or the others. Then he thought about it. There was someone she would listen to, it was a matter of getting him to talk.

The next day came with dread for Sawyer. He knew who was coming out to the beach and he knew what he had to do.

Middle of the day sure enough Jack came out onto the beach from the caves. As soon as the crowd subsided Sawyer made his way. Cursing every step he took.

"Jack." He called in a stance of regret.

Everyone turned and began to whisper in gossip when they saw who it was. Jack reluctantly turned around knowing who it was.

"What do you want?" Jack questioned.

Sawyer stepped up.

"I'm not here to play games. I just need to point something out to you." Sawyer announced.

"I don't care to hear about it." Jack said turning away without another word out of his mouth.

"Look I'm not here to talk about the ordeal. It has nothing to do with that." Sawyer called turning him back.

Against his own will Jack listened.

"You have to talk to her." Sawyer said.

Jack looked away in disbelief.

"I thought it had nothing to do with that?" Jack questioned losing his patience.

"It doesn't! If you would just listen!" Sawyer yelled.

Jack sighed and told Sawyer to continue.

"She's not doing good man…" Sawyer began.

"Do you think I care?" Jack asked trying his hardest to look like he didn't because he did, but he had to show he didn't care about her anymore.

"Why don't you console her? You're good at it." Jack snickered throwing up how they got into this mess in the first place.

"Look Jack I'm not asking you to play nice. I know you can't do that. I'm serious she's not good." Sawyer tried to stress without screaming at Jack.

Jack looked away sighing again. He wasn't in the mood for this. He wasn't going to let Sawyer make him feel guilty. But there was something deep down that wanted to know what was wrong. Cause something had to be seriously wrong for Sawyer to come talk to him.

"What's makes you think something's wrong?" Jack asked.

"I saw her yesterday and she was shaking. She couldn't stand. The other's say she won't eat and barely sleeps." Sawyer began to explain.

"That's it right there. She's shaking cause her body has no energy." Jack explained turned back gathering his things.

Sawyer seemed to be waiting for him to go do something about it. Jack turned back to see him giving a questionable look.

"It's not my problem. She can take care of herself. It's her choice to screw her body over." Jack said in a stone tone trying to act like he didn't care.

Sawyer shook his head at Jack ignorance.

"You're going to let her suffer because she slept with me? And you call her selfish-"

"What do you want me to do Sawyer? Go and force her to eat? You really think she's going to listen to me?" Jack questioned in fury.

"You're probably the only on she will listen to." Sawyer said in a low tone of regret as he spotted Kate.

Jack saw his attention caught by something. Slowly turning he saw her. She not walking, but stumbling up the beach. Her face was pale and her body weak. She had lost weight and he could tell she hadn't slept from the bags under her eyes. She looked all together miserable. This broke his heart. Not because of the façade he was putting forth, it was the thought that she had put herself in this situation obviously because of him.

"Are you honestly let her keep doing this to herself?" Sawyer asked before he walked away leaving Jack with the thought.

Jack turned, but Sawyer had already walked off. Slowly he glanced back to Kate seeing that she had either fallen or sat in the sand. Most likely fallen. It tore him apart to see her like this. He guessed he could go talk to her, but what help it would do he really didn't know. It'd probably make things worse then they already were.

Taking a deep breath he slowly headed over. He scuffed his feet through the sand as he reluctantly walked over to her.

She sat there pressing her hand to her forehead. Her head was pounding. Her whole body was. It was like her body had just shut down and wasn't willing to go on anymore. She had foreseen all of this. Slowly her body would just give up and she'd lie there until her heart stopped.

Opening her eyes she saw him. She had to be seeing things. Great now her sight was going. She looked around to make sure that she wasn't seeing him. But he was obviously there.

"Jack?" She whispered reaching her hand out to touch his face.

Her hand almost shook too much for her to keep it up in the air. He quickly took it in his hand and held it tight. A smile came to his face to see her face instantly light up.

"How you doing Kate?" He asked feeling her hand shake in his.

"Good." She answered lowering her head as she pulled her hand away.

That hurt him even worse then it hurt her.

"Heard you weren't eating or sleeping." Jack said.

"Who said that? Sawyer?" Kate asked in a snotty tone.

"Don't be like this. He was worried Kate." Jack tired to explain to her.

"I don't need him to be worried." Kate muttered under her breath as she looked away.

"Well he was obviously had good reason." Jack said look her over.

She looked back trying her best to not to be mad, but she couldn't believe Jack only came over cause Sawyer was worried. Taking a deep breath her stomach began to hurt again. Her face became sour as she put her hand over it. Jack noticed.

"Here.' He said as he pulled a small fruit out of his backpack.

She looked at it like it was poison.

"I'm not hun-"

"Eat." He ordered pushing it towards her.

With a huff she grabbed it from him. She looked at it oddly before taking bite of it. It melted in her mouth. It wasn't the best food in the world, but it was something.

"Are you happy?" She asked with a mouthful.

Jack nodded his head with a slight smile. Turning to gather his things. He needed to get back to the caves.

"Please sleep and eat." He pleaded as he began to get up.

Kate tried to tell herself not to do it, but she did.

"Jack please." She called grabbing his hand.

He stopped closing his eyes. He knew what she wanted, but he turned back to her anyway.

"What?" He asked looking down to see tears forming in her eyes.

"Please." She begged with teary sorrow.

Jack didn't say anything. He just bit his lip and pulled her hand form his. As her hand came to her lap she didn't look down to it she just stared off into the distance.

"I can't.' He whispered before walking away.

Kate sat there for only seconds before she got up and started for the jungle. That feeling worked up in her stomach. Coming to the nearest tree she let it all out. All the feeling that worked up in the last five minutes came to the ground.

Standing up she rested up against the tree holding her stomach. She knew then what was going on inside of her. Something clicked telling her why she had been feeling sick the last couple days and why everything made her sick.

"No." She whispered wrapping her arms around her stomach.

She hit her head lightly against the tree as she began to cry.

"This can't happen. Not here not now." She cried holding her stomach tighter.

She stood there a good while till she let the thought sink in. By then the sun had set. Pushing herself off the tree she slowly made her way back to the beach. Sinking down into her usual spot she welcomed the exhaustion that was brought on by that day. She needed the sleep. Most of all she needed to get herself better.

Waking the next day before any thought or action was brought on the feeling of nausea came quick. Again she found a secluded tree. This time she didn't sit and think about it as long. Only enough to realize she wasn't going to like doing this for three months.

Emerging from the jungle she looked over to see Jack. Her stomach turned to knots thinking about what he had said to her. She had to tell him what was going on, but how would she. He barely talked to her. Telling him this wasn't going to go over easy.

Walking past her stuff she bent down and picked up a water bottle. Quickly she splashed some in her face before capping it and throwing it to the ground. Looking back to Jack she took a breath.

She was going to do this here and now. Walking towards him the thought of uncertainty grew in her mind. What if she wasn't? What if her mind was playing tricks on her? No matter if or not she had to tell him of the possibility.

"Jack." She called walking up behind him.

He looked back as Michael walked away.

"Kate…' He said surprised to even see her.

"I need to talk to you." She announced in a low whisper.

"Ok." Jack said encouraging her to go on.

Kate looked around to see the others listening in.

"Alone." She emphasized.

Jack excused himself and followed Kate over towards the trail to the caves. She headed a ways past it towards Sawyer's tent. She hadn't noticed she was heading that way till she saw him emerge and stop in his tracks. She didn't look over and acknowledge him knowing if she was right she would have to have the same conversation with him. She just didn't want to have it then. She wanted to be sure first. That's why she went to Jack.

Walking a bit of a ways into the dense jungle Kate looked around before she stopped. When she did she looked up to Jack.

"Look I brought you out here because I am tired of everyone being in my, our business." Kate began.

"Kate I don't wanna-"

"I'm not going to bring up any of that. I swear. I just really need to tell you something." She stated.

Looking away she searched for a way to break this to him. Jack was the only person she could talk to, but this was too hard to even utter to him. Still she had to tell him.

"This is very serious and I don't know how to tell you, I'm just-"

"Kate what is it?" Her asked touching her arm.

She stopped and looked down to his hand. It was like the day before when he had grabbed her hand. She just broke. Closing her eyes she fought back tears. Opening them she took a deep breath.

"Jack I think I'm pregnant." She announced looking him strait in the eyes.

He slowly lowered his hand and his stare turned to gawking. She knew this was how he'd take it.

"What the hell did you just say?" A voice questioned.

It wasn't Jack. Kate's stomach tightened up more as she realized who it was. Both looked back to see Sawyer staring at then in disbelief. Kate closed her eyes again as tears began to push at her eyes. She didn't even wanna explain this to Jack, now she had to explain it to both of them.

I will have another chapter up tomorrow. Hate to leave you guys hanging. I'll also have another chapter up on Surviving in the week!