Author Note: I changed the year students start to 13! Other than that mostly based on Harry Potter - own nothing!

Barry Saucepan and the Ugly Rock

Chapter one: Meeting Strange People

Concentrating deeply on the brick barrier between 9 and 10, Barry Sausepan wished for platform 9 3/4 to appear. It was now five to eleven and he was in a panic...He was supposed to be catching his train to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry from platform 9 3/4, which unfortunately didn't seem to exist.

"Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to get onto the platform?"

Barry turned and came face to face with a girl about the same height as him, with long black hair and a pale face.

"I don't know how to get onto the platform..."

The girl rolled her eyes, adjusted her shoulder bag, put a blasting headphone in her ear and blew a stray lock of hair from her face, amazingly all at the same time.

"Muggle born?"

"Not really..." Barry replied nervously patting his messy hair. The girl gasped, noticing his odd wishbone scar on his forehead,

"You're Barry Sausepan!"

"Yea..."

"I know all about you! You're in heaps of books! Not really my kind of books...Needs vampires...But still! Your famous!" The girl gasped again, "I'm so sorry! Of course you wouldn't know how to get onto the platform! Now what you do is, run straight at that brick barrier, saying as many swear words as you can think of..." she said pointing at the barrier between 9 and 10.

"Swear words?"

"Yea you know...Like fuc-"

"Yea, I know what they are, but why?"

The girl shrugged,

"Dunno, but that's what Bob said...but then again Mumbob was laughing, so he may have been joking..."

"Bob?"

"Never mind, my name's Lemo," Lemo said offering Barry her hand, Barry shook it rather warily.

"Nice to meet you...Lemo..."

"Same here! Now off u go Saucey!" She said giving him a gentle push in the barrier's dirrection.

"Can you go first?"

"Ha! No way, I'm just as worried as you are about the whole running-into-a-brick-wall thing."

"Great," Barry muttered to himself. Barry turned his heavy trolley to face the brick barrier, then with a deep breath he put all his weight behind pushing his trolley. Soon he was gathering speed and the barrier was getting closer and closer. Squeezing his eyes shut in terror, Barry braced himself for the collision - only it didn't come.

"What the - ?"

"Welcome to Platform 9 and 3/4! Hogwarts? Eleven o'clock? First year? This way!" An odd looking witch with wild purple hair took Barry's trolley and pushed it beside a long train with Hogwart Express written on the front. The witch lifted Barry's heavy trunk with ease and threw it in the nearest carriage.

"Now dear, go find yourself a seat," she said giving him a hug, before rushing off to help another girl who came through the barrier.

'Everyone here is totally nuts...' Barry thought to himself.

He was just about to get onto the train when a girl and her mother argueing caught his eye. Most people were watching them, but they didn't seem to notice.

"Andy, how many times have I told you?! Don't put your wand in your pocket!"

"You told me not to put it in my jeans pocket!"

"That's not the point!" The mother screeched, "The chest pocket of a t-shirt isn't a good idea either! Would you want something else blasted off!"

"Mum..."

"Well, if you come back home with one breast, then don't come crying to me! Have a good time at school sweetheart," The mother said capturing her daughter who was several inches taller than her, into a hug.

"Bye, Mum!"

Barry quickly looked away when the girl turned and skipped along the train before stopping beside Barry, who was standing in front of a door to a carriage.

"Y-ello!" The girl said saluting and grinning. The girl was tall with brown hair and unusual purple eyes. Her wand, Barry noticed was still in the front pocket of her jacket.

"Hi...?"

"First year?"

"Yea, you're...Third year?"

"Nope! First year too!" The girl laughed, "I'm Andy Rose by the way!"

"You all have werid names..." Barry said aloud, immediately he looked shocked, "Sorry! I didn't mean to say that aloud!"

Andy laughed again (she seemed to do that alot),

"Nah, it's okay! My real name's Amber, but everyone calls me Andy. Who - out of interest - have you spoken to?"

"A girl named Lemo?"

At this Andy squealed,

"Lemons here!"

"Lemons?"

"Her real name is Leah Roberts...Opps! Sorry, what was your name?"

"Barry Sausepan," Barry replied, Andy squealed again,

"I know all about you! Wow! You kicked You-Know-Who's butt!"

The train whistled.

"Guess we better get on the train!" Andy said jumping on, Barry following closely behind her. As soon as the got into the carriage, Andy started muttering to herself and pointing to each compartment on the left side as she said each letter.

"P...i...c...k...l...e...P...i...e - aha! this one!" She said as she slid a compartment open, "You can join us if you like...but I think you may be the only guy and/or sane one..."

"I think I'll - "

Suddenly a hand reached out and grabbed them both in.

"Argh!"

Barry found himself inside the compartment, with Lemo he had met earlier and a girl with brown hair, who seemed relatively sane compared to her friends.

"Lemo! Emo!"

"Andy!"

The girls saluted each other.

"Hello again Barry!"

"Lemo, did you have to drag the poor guy in too?"

Lemo cackled evilly,

"Oh but of course!"

"You can leave if you want..." Andy said to Barry.

"Thanks, I think I might..." he said eyeing Lemo, who was currently examining her elbow.

"Meet Smokey Joe..." she said, shoving her elbow in Andy's face.

"Met him before, Lemo," Andy sighed as she went to sit down.

"DON'T SIT THERE!"

"Why...? What's there?" Andy said bending to get a closer look at the seat.

Lemo slapped her ass,

"PDA!"

"I'm leaving..." Barry said backing out of the compartment.