Thanks for all you're review for the last chapter. I was iffy about it and glad you enjoyed it. I am kinda iffy about this chapter too and hope you enjoy as always. Warning there is some sex in this chapter. Nothing you guys haven't read from me before, just wanted to warn you in advance ; ) Hope you Enjoy as always and can't wait to hear what you all think. : )

Desired Feelings

Sun beat down on her bare legs as she sat in the opening of her tent. Her mind was swirling of thoughts as usual, but these thoughts hadn't plagued her mind in a while. Regret. Regret of her actions she had taken with Sawyer. The kiss that lasted too long. The kiss that shouldn't have been in the first place.

Sawyer had gotten up after that and walked back to his tent. Looking over his shoulder occasionally to see her still sitting there. Sitting there in shock as everyone on the beach watched in dismay. She sat frozen for a moment as she looked around to their faces. Quickly she snapped out of it and ran to her tent.

No sleep came that night. Only tears. Tears of memory. The memory of how this had ended up last time. Jack finding out and completely erasing her. She couldn't afford to have him push away now. Not with the baby. She wouldn't make it.

Then she began to wonder how Sawyer felt. It was weird that he pushed away. She didn't expect that. She really didn't know what to expect from him anymore. He wasn't predictable.

Lowering her head she looked to her stomach. She rested her hand upon it as she sighed. This had gotten her into so much trouble.

Was it worth it?

Was it worth screwing up the lives of those she loved along with her own?

She suddenly began to question this life growing inside of her. She always thought she'd get married and have a baby with the man she loved. But the man she loved was dead. Now she had these two men who she had obviously had feelings for.

Did she love them?

Sawyer was a difficult person. He had his rough and rugged side, but he also had that sweet side. That personal side that only came out when he read that letter. That side Kate had tapped into the day Jack had caught her in his tent. Sawyer was Sawyer. Simple as that. And she didn't know if she wanted a Sawyer. She had had a Sawyer. Tons of them.

Did she really want her heart broken again?

Jack was completely different from Sawyer. Yet was so much like him. They could have been brothers separated at birth. They just went down separate paths. Jack chose the path of saving lives. He was good natured and kind. He was the type of man who was taught to treat a woman right. Not that Sawyer wasn't it was just that he used them for his own will. Jack set women as equals.

That was how Kate felt. She was Jack's equal. She felt one with him. Whether it was just talking to him or having sex with him.

Kate looked up to the surf and began seeing images of her and Jack lying there. They way they had been that night. In each other's arms. Making love. His hands on her body warming her skin with his touch. His lips cursing their way over her chest.

Soon she became fluster with the thoughts and the feeling that she had with Sawyer crept up on her. As more images came on the feeling came on stronger. It became uncomfortable sitting there. Moving to another position it only got worse. Again she moved and again it came on stronger. Every way she moved she became agitated.

What the hell was wrong with her?

Just just looking at the sand was turning her on. There had to be something wrong with her. This couldn't be just hormones. It had to be something else.

Looking out across the beach she glanced to each person watching what they were doing. Maybe they could get her mind off of these feelings and images taking over her body. But it didn't help. She needed to do something and quick.

She needed to see Jack. Maybe seeing him would get it out of her system. If she could just talk to him maybe he could help her with what to do. He was the doctor he had to have some idea.

Getting up she turned back into her tent. Grabbing her backpack she stuffed some water bottles in it. Throwing it over her shoulder she headed back out onto the beach. Rushing past everyone who still stared at her with question from the night before she made her way to the trail and headed to the caves. Headed to see Jack.

Ducking under the growing vive canopy she immediately spotted him. Over in the corner going through supplies like always. She stood there for a while watching him go about what he was doing. Just admiring the way he walked and moved.

She felt oddly different about Jack then did when she watched Sawyer. With Sawyer it was utter lust and with Jack there were feelings involved. Not that she didn't have feelings for Sawyer. Of course she did, but they were so minimal that they could never end up as anything. She didn't want to be with Sawyer.

With Jack there were definite feelings. They were obviously there. She would have never slept with him without hesitation if there weren't any. Otherwise she wouldn't have been so broken up when she slept with Sawyer and she wouldn't have punished herself the way she did. She wanted to be with Jack.

She quickly broke from her daze as Hurley walked past her.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Yeah." She answered licking her lips with nervousness as she headed over to Jack.

She approached him cautiously. Like an animal approaching it's prey. Not wanting to scare it. Coming up behind him she swallowed hard preparing herself to talk. But she spooked him. He turned around and stood up strait looking to her surprised.

"I need to talk to you."

"Yeah?" He asked encouraging her to continue as he quickly put some things away.

Kate stood frozen not knowing what to say. How was she supposed to tell him she was turned on by everything? It wasn't something easy to just let out. And once she began to explain she'd have to tell him about Sawyer, if he already didn't know. This was harder then she thought.

As thoughts hurled in hurled in her mind she found herself watching him again. Her eyes traveled down over his shoulders and down his arms focusing on his hands. Becoming entranced with the way his fingers moved. That feeling came on again.

"Kate what did you want to talk about?" Jack asked turning around to see her standing with her legs crossed as she bit her lip.

Seeing him she shook her head again pushing away from her daze.

"What?"

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked again.

"Nothing.' Kate replied rolling it off.

Suddenly she didn't feel right talking to Jack about this. She turned away from him and tried to get her mind off of it.

"Kate…" He sighed turning her back to him.

"I know it isn't nothing."

Kate looked away with a sigh. She was really wondering whether or not to tell him what she was going through. The look he gave her pushed to say something.

"Remember when you asked my hormones and I said I wasn't having any?"

"Yeah…" He replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Well I have them now and they're strong." She emphasized with wide eyes.

Jack looked away with a laugh; Kate didn't see it as funny. She wondered why he was laughing.

"Oh so that's why you kissed Sawyer?"

She blinked her eyes only to realize that that was exactly what he asked. She wasn't dreaming.

"What?" She question backing away from him.

She was preparing herself what he might do. She was slightly afraid.

"Word travels fast Kate." He said with a laugh.

Was his laugh from amusement or anger?

"Yeah…." She sighed looking away.

She felt broken by his laughter. She didn't know what to make of it. Did he think she was using the hormones as an excuse for what she did? She really didn't know. She really didn't know if she was really making it up. Did she mean to kiss Sawyer?

He became silent as he pulled away and began doing other things. This time she didn't watch him. She didn't have the guts to.

"So what do you want to do about this hormone problem?"

She looked up catching an honest glare from him.

"What do you mean?"

"Obviously the hormones have it you hard. I mean Sun told me how you were thinking about Sawyer yesterday…"

Her eyes became wide. How could she? She had told her in the strictness of confidence.

"And I could see by the way you were watching me a few minutes ago while you bit your lip that you weren't just watching by habit." He smiled.

She looked away blushing. He had caught her.

"What am I supposed to do?" She questioned.

She wondered what idea he had working up. Every time she wondered that it turned out in her favor. Like that night at the beach.

"Well I coul-"

"Hey Jack." Charlie calked walking up to the two.

"Michael needs your help out on the beach."

"With what?" Jack asked.

"Did say. He just told me to come get you."

"Alright." Jack said as Charlie headed on his way.

Jack sighed as he turned back to Kate. She had her head lowered knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere that day.

"Look we'll finish this later tonight ok?"

"Ok.' Kate smiled.

Jack smiled back as he kissed her on the cheek. Leaving her with that he gathered his things and headed off down the trail to the beach.

Kate stood stunned. She brought her hand to her cheek. Brushing her fingertips over it she felt butterflies work up in her stomach. The feeling she had fluttered away with them as she took a deep breath. She wondered what he meant by "we'll finish this". He had something worked up in his mind and she knew it had to be good.

Spending the day alone wondering around the jungle near the caves and beach was calming for Kate. It freed her mind of all the thoughts that had been worked up over the last few days. She wondered aimlessly taking in the scenery that was now her home.

By nightfall she had made it to the outskirts of the beach.

She kicked up the sand as she walked along the surf looking out onto the black night. Seeing the stars sparkle reminded her of how Jack had said she was beautiful. That seemed so long ago yet still it was a lasting memory. A memory of her new life. A life that had started with a plane crash.

Coming along the camp she slowly made her way towards her tent. She was unnoticed in her own little world, but in the real one everyone watched her. All staring up from their dinner watching her walk across the beach in a daze. Not knowing what awaited her.

Walking up to her tent she did hear the breath was that was heavy inside. Pulling back the tarp it took her a minute to see his shadow. It wasn't until she stepped in and the tarp fell behind hind that she saw him. Seeing him sitting there on her bed sent her back in fright. But as she realized it was him she stood still.

"Jack?"

He just stared up at her without words.

"What are you doing in here?" She questioned still jolted.

"I told you we'd finish what we started at the caves."

She watched him over her shoulder as she walked over and sat her backpack down on the ground next to her bed. Silently under his stare she came over and sat down next to him. Finally she had the courage to look him in the eye.

"I wanna know what you mean by that." She said.

"Well I last thing we talked about was what we should do about your hormones." He began.

"What do you want to do?"

She looked away with his words. She had no idea what to do. If she could have it her way she'd push him back on the bed and have her way with him. But she knew there was no way he'd go for that.

"I don't know Jack. What do you suppose "we" do?"

He again stared at her. With a blinking gaze he leaned in and touch her lips with his.

That was it for Kate. She was lost the minute he gave her that batted eyelashes look. But as his lips covered hers she began to think she might get her way.

She sat perfectly still as his lips spread over hers sending chills through her body. They pressed hard against hers and held there for the longest time. When he pulled back Kate slowly opened her eyes to see that lustful gaze in Jack's eyes.

Bringing her shaky hand up to her face she ran her fingers over her lips as her eyes came up to Jack's. She was gone in that moment seeing his face outlined by the moonlight shining into the tent. All the feelings she had built up came to a boiling point. All she could do was take it head on.

Moving in she kissed him back. Taking him by a bit of surprise. Sure enough he came back cupping her face. But with his touch she felt doubtful. As if she was taking advantage of him. She wasn't certain she was doing the right thing.

Pulling back she looked into his eyes as they tried to catch their breath. The look as smile was all she needed to let her know this was ok.

"Is this what you want?" He asked in a deep throaty voice.

All she could do was nodded her head against his. She was too afraid to say anything. Jack took her nod in approval and began kissing her neck. All Kate could do was hold on for dear life because he wasn't going to stop until he knew she was satisfied and had had enough. This was her night and she was all that mattered.

Griping the collar of his shirt, Kate struggled to pull it off as he kissed along her jaw line. She struggled against him and herself as his lips sent her down against his shoulder. She couldn't believe this was happening. Again.

Sitting back Jack quickly discarded his shirt Kate had been toying with. As he turned back to her he came to see her sitting with a wide-eyed grin as her eyes wonder over his body. Eyeing every muscle and freckle on his body. He had to chuckle at her amusement as he scooted closer to her.

Her eyes danced as they started into each other's eyes. Her breath was then caught as she felt his hand at her waist. He dared her to look away as he pulled her shirt over her head. Curls mangled and fell over her shoulders as he dropped the shirt to the floor.

Looking down her reached out his hand and laid it upon her stomach. His face dropped as he ran his fingers over it. Kate watched this and suddenly became sick thinking he had stopped cause he realized she was pregnant. Was that going to stop him?

He surprised her by leaning down and placing his lips on her stomach. She rose her hand to the back of his head. She gently ran her fingers over it as he left butterfly kisses across her stomach. As he brushed his cheek across his skin she let out a giggle causing him to look up. She just gave him a huge grin as she slinked her hand down his neck and rested it on his shoulder.

Leaving one last kiss right above her belly button he sat up. Coming face to face with her he gave her his own smile as he kissed her. His hand waltz up her arm and over her shoulder. As he gripped the back over neck he deepened the kiss. Opening her mouth they breathed in each other for the firs time in five months. It sent chills through both their bodies.

Coming back Jack brought his hand to her face. Brushing the curls off her cheek. She turned and pressed her face to his hand as she closed her eyes. Slowly she kissed down his thumb to his wrist. Opening her eyes she felt tears welling up. This was too perfect for her. Looking into his eyes she saw tears as well. This was perfect for him too.

Jack dropped his hand to his lap. The two sat for a moment in silence as if they were re-thinking this idea of theirs. All thinking was done as Jack began to unbutton his pants. Kate watched with anticipation. Waiting for him to look at her again.

Kicking them to the floor with his shoes, Jack looked up to see Kate doing the same as he had. She stood up and slid them down the ground. Stepping out of her shoes she sat back down closer to Jack, who sat completely naked in front of her.

She was caught up for a minutes staring at him. Last time it was her that had lain under him naked, but now the tables were turned.

Leaning towards his she looked up from his lap to his eyes as another smile grew across her lips. He knew what that smile was for. He chuckled at her adolescent behavior before he kissed her again. This time his hand came to her back. Slowly he lowered her to the bed.

As her back came to the airplane material he broke the kiss. Hovering over her he gazed down into her eyes. Trying his hardest to talk to her without words.

"You ready?"

She nodded her head without a blink.

"I want you Jack." She whispered.

A small smile appeared on his face as he slid her underwear down her legs. Leaving them where they lay he balanced himself over her without putting weight on her stomach.

Staring her strait in the eyes like he had before he swiftly slid into her. Her eyes flutter shut and her mouth gaped open as she gasped for air. Closing her mouth she pursed her lips as she swallowed the air. Parting her lips she let out a deep exhale.

He slowly began to move inside her. Quickly he sped up causing Kate to open her eyes and look up to him. He smiled down to her as he thrust faster. Kissing him, she wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her bare chest to his.

Kissing down across her face he moved down her neck. Coming to her chest he began to suck on her skin. Leaving small red marks as he went along. Stopping in the crevice of her breast she rested her chin a top his head as he thrusted harder into her.

He was trying to bring her to that moment as fast as he could. Not that he wanted it to be over. If he had it his way he'd make love to her all night, but they were on the beach surrounded by people who would have a field day if they ever found out. Then there was Sawyer. He wanted to try anything possible to keep Sawyer from finding out.

Lifting his head back up he kissed her again. This was more then a kiss. He bit and sucked on her lips turning them bright red. Small moans escaped her as he did this. She began to grab at his back telling him to speed up.

As he did he reached down and wrapped his hand under her knee. Bringing her leg up as best he could he hooked his around his back. This was better for both of them. More leverage for Jack and more pleasure for Kate.

Placing his weight on his hand he put it to the bed next to Kate's head. Shifting hid balnce her thrusted into her at a different angle nearly sending her over the edge. Leaning down his lips came to her neck again. Nibbling under her ear and breathing down her neck. Kate couldn't' take it anymore.

"Jack." She breathed scraping her nails down his shoulder.

He pulled back and looked down to see her eye fluttered closed again. She was almost there and so was he. In a few moments they both would be gone. Jack wanted to end it on a high note.

Bringing his hand to his lips Kate watched as he licked his fingers. She stared as him oddly as he lowered it down her body. As she felt it across her stomach her eyes went wide. Brining it between them Kate gasped knowing what he was doing. Feeling his fingertips she arched her back. She stopped just short of their stomachs touching. With all this she did still remember the baby.

Staring him in the eyes she wrapped her fingers around his neck. They kept an intense stare as he came in quicker until with one last thrust there was no more. Both their eyes fluttered shut as the feeling ripped through her body then his. She sucked in the air around her being careful not to scream. She knew the others were only a matter of feet away.

Letting his balance go, he rolled him self over to lie down next to her. He lay there for a moment letting the feeling sink in. Turning his head he looked over to see her lay with her eyes still closed and her mouth hung open.

Slowly it all disappeared and Kate glanced over to Jack. She had to laugh and look away. Looking back to him it became a sudden stare. For both of them. Just lying there watching each other. It felt right. Kate felt relieved that the feelings for gone. For then at least. She knew they'd probably be back. The question was would he help her.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"You're welcome." He smiled as he kissed her.

As they pulled away Kate suddenly felt guilty. Like she had when she had kissed Sawyer the first time then slept with Jack. But now she felt back for Sawyer. And also Jack. She felt as if she was using Jack.

She had to look away from his intense stare as these thoughts came up.

"I'm sorry Jack…" She wined.

"For what?"

"I feel like I took advantage of you."

"Advantage of me? Wasn't I the one that was in you tent?" He questioned.

"Yeah, but when I came to the caves I was looking for you to help me. And trust me you did, but I just feel bad about coming to you after what I did with Sawyer." She explained.

"So you would have rather slept with Sawyer?"

"No. I didn't even want to kiss him. It was just that I was so caught up and so turned on that I just acted."

"Kate look at me." Jack said cupping her face.

"You couldn't help kissing Sawyer. I understand that and really don't care. But I want you to understand that this was something I wanted to do. I wanted to help you. I mean this has got to be hell for you. All these feelings…." He continued.

She nodded her head with a smile at his comments.

"I don't want you to feel bad about what I do. Or anything that happens while your pregnant and when you have the baby. You can't help these things. Ok?"

"Ok.' She smiled.

'Ok." He smiled back as he kissed her.

The two lay there in each other's arms for a while. Talking about the baby as they ran their hands over her stomach. They came to the topic of names and what sex they thought it was. Kate was sure it was a boy, but Jack argued it was a girl.

Around midnight Jack got up and got dressed. He needed to head back to the caves before a search party was sent out for him. Getting up with him, Kate wrapped he blanket around her body. She sat and watched him get dressed giggling to herself. He loved that founds it amusing, but began to get aggravated when it became too much.

When he was dressed Kate stood up and followed him outside. She stood behind him as he looked out to the water. The gray waves were calm as they came up the shore. Turning around he gave her a slight smile as he pulled her in his arms. She tilted her face up to meet him in a kiss.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Anytime."

With that he kissed her again and pulled away. With a wink he turned and headed around her tent disappearing from her. Walking over the edge of her tent she watched him walk unnoticed up the beach through the sleepless survivors. A smile came to her face as he faded into the jungle. Clutching the blanket around her she sighed in contentment as she looked down to the sand.

"What the hell was that?" A loud voice questioned.

Kate spun around the see Sawyer. She began to shake feeling his eyes wonder her naked body.

"What was what?" She asked trying to play it off.

"That little kiss and "anytime" bullshit." Sawyer snarled pointing off in the direction Jack had left.

He had seen them kiss. The one time she didn't want Sawyer to see her with Jack. Before the baby she wouldn't have cared, but now. Now she felt bad. She didn't want to hurt Sawyer anymore by showing off her and Jack. She began to wonder if he heard them having sex.

"It was nothing Sawyer. It was just a goodnight kiss."

Sawyer looked down her body again making her feel uncomfortable. Then his eyes wondered to her tent when he could clearly see her clothes lying in the sand.

"You guys had sex." He announced.

Kate's heart began to race. He knew. Somehow he knew.

"It's none of your business Sawyer." She said turning away from him.

"Yes it is if he's sticking himself up where my baby is!' He yelled following her.

"Who said it was yours?" Kate questioned spinning around.

Sawyer stopped. His eyes became sad then turned cold.

"It ain't mine is it?"

"I didn't mean it that way. I just don't like how you're trying to put ownership on a life. A life that's inside of me not you." She pointed out.

"Why didn't you come to me?"

"I did Sawyer! And you pushed me away!"

"What the hell am I supposed to do when you maul me?" He questioned.

She couldn't believe her was acting this way. She expected him to be upset, but this was ridiculous.

"Well Jack didn't push me away. He came to me."

Sawyer fell silent and began to walk away.

"I see. That's how it's going to be…"

"Sawyer…' Kate called as he turned away.

"Have fun using him there Freckles. Cause you ain't using me."

"Sawyer."

He didn't say another word and she was too afraid to head after him. She didn't need to give the others something else to talk about. So she just let him walk away.