Disclaimer: NGE is the cash cow of Gainax. This work of fiction declare itself political agenda free.

"The walls are closing in... too much pressure to take, arrghhh," Shinji moaned in agony.

The mecha pilot slumped on his desk with his tongue out like a dog. Shinji was slowly panting as his vision blurred. The classroom swirled around like a creepy looking milkshake devouring the world. Cold sweats poured down his face.

Mr Kutaragi began to sound like a voice recording played in slow motion.

"In 1937, Japanese sent peace keeping forces in China to restore democracy. Civil unrest in China caused more than 370,000 deaths in the span of two years."

Shinji grasped his head with both his hand as if he was afraid he might lose his head. His sight continued to swim in murky water and his hearing tuned out. His heart was probably beating a hundred fifty times per minute.

Then, suddenly it was all clear to him. Like a TV set with white static tuned back into a working channel, everything became crystal clear to him. In fact, clarity was so sharp it was like having the images of a naked 80-year-old grandmother burned into your retina.

"Evil western media blamed the failure to save the 370.000 lives lost on the Japanese government. They began a smear campaign and held us responsible for the casualties."

Dark patches marred Shinji's vision. His clarity now replaced with slug like patterns clouding his eyes. He tried to claw the invading creature out of his eyeball but to no avail.

"The propaganda which created the term 'Rape of Nanking' later became a world accepted lie. Our soldiers were there to protect peace and freedom in China. We were invited."

The darkness faded away as fast as it took away the light. For the first time, Shinji could see the lies beneath everything. The lies hidden behind an authoritative voice. The lies written between lines in a prominent newspaper with an obvious political slant. The lies propagated in schools; lies masquerading as education.

Shinji read the brainwashing motto plastered above the blackboard.

"Silence is golden."

"Thou shall not run with your pants down."

"Having intercourse at the back of the class is strictly forbidden."

Shinji blinked, hard. Then he read the motto again, until it was hammered into his mind.

'This is not a damn school. This is a motherfucking Nazi youth camp!' Shinji bit his finger as his brains went into hyper-mode.

'All these times, the teachers are trying to take our thoughts away. The school strips us of our ability to think, to act for ourselves, to differentiate truth from lies. Fuck education. They are just indoctrinating us with poisons.'

'What's wrong with being naked? What is so evil about having sex on a desk at the back of the class?'

'They are taking our voices away. Shut us up. Rob our rights as we stare on like a bunch of retarded onlookers. Skullfuck us in our sleep. Dammit, they could even be killing puppies all these times.'

Shinji looked at Mr. Kutaragi as the bearded man preached his version of truth to the class. The mecha pilot has reached a breaking point. It was a time to act for the good of humanity. His hand reached into his pencil box and retrieved the most powerful weapon contained in the metallic box. A fountain pen of mass destruction. If one is not careful, he could be stabbed in the balls with this instrument of writing. That would result in severe bleeding and most probably death if not treated immediately.

Shinji ran his hand over the smooth cylinder of the blue colored pen. His chair fell down in respect as he got up with style. In his right hand was a tool of destruction armed for some stabbity action. The students again gave their attention to the mecha pilot with the bloodshot look in his eyes. The whole class could smell murderous intent coming from the shy and generally peaceful boy.

"Ikari, do you have any...?" Kutaragi asked as he was oblivious to his violent fate.

Shinji answered the propaganda officer by charging at him with the fury of a hundred tornados tearing a box of newborn puppies apart.

"Freedom!"

Today, Shinji was a man.

Sometimes, you wake up and you feel like you didn't sleep even an hour. Once in a while, you wake up with a jolt, after dreaming about falling from a high place. Shinji Ikari, greatest mecha pilot in Tokyo 3 and possibly, the world - woke up with the feeling that he had fell into a pit full of angry fire ants before being doused with industrial strength acid. He wasn't surprised if someone told him he was also raped thoroughly by a pack of rottweilers. His body felt like utter shit.

Shinji tried to open his mouth to speak but was restricted by PVC tasting object lodged in his oral cavity. He just had to resort to moaning then.

"Mmmhhh, grrrmmm, mmooohhh!"

A beautiful nurse greeted the currently incapable pilot. It was the first time Shinji went to the infirmary and with good reason. Even as his eyes refused to open fully, Shinji took a good look at the nurse with long, straight brown hairs and dark green eyes. He wouldn't be surprised if students faked accidents just to be here. It was worth it.

"Hello Shinji, I'm Yayoi Sanzein. You're in good hands, though I think you're doing pretty good compared to your friends," the nurse said with a chuckle.

The longhaired nurse placed a hand on Shinji's forehead and nodded to herself. Then she removed the intruding object in his mouth, which looked suspiciously like a SM ball gag he saw in hardcore pron. The red colored ball was discarded before he could get a good look at it.

Shinji tried to follow the nurse as she sat on a swivelling chair and crossed her arm over her ample bosom. He swore he could hear a few joints in his vertebra cracked as he twisted his neck to the side. His complain was halted by cold metal knocking on his head.

"Now, you might think you're one bad boy. But keep it up and even mutant healing powers may not save you," Yayoi chided.

Shinji stared in wild amazement as the good looking nurse returned what he thought - a katana - to her side as fast as she knocked his head with the weapon. The restrained hero turned his head back to its original position and stared straight at the white ceiling. Cold sweat formed in large beads as paranoid thoughts invaded his mind again.

'Oh man, she got a big ass sword right here. She's gonna kill me. I think I'm dead. Real freaking dead.'

"It is amazing that you survived the massive head injury the red haired girl inflicted on you - if her depiction of the event was not exaggerated," Miss Yayoi said as she turned her back on Shinji and gracefully opened a wall cabinet.

'Crap, I'm strapped here in this bed with no escape.'

"Three broken desk over your head and you were still going strong. You really did a number on Mr. Kutaragi."

Yayoi took a large plastic bottle from the wooden cabinet, shook it a little and uncapped the container.

"I couldn't believe a sweet looking boy like you would stab a teacher in the eye and incapacitate seven other boys who attempted to stop you. Your foreign friend told me that you were an animal back there."

Yayoi popped two tablets into her palm.

"Though I think smashing you in the cranium with furniture was a little excessive, you got to excuse her for she was not feeling too pretty after what you did to her."

Shinji gulped as he conjured a few scenarios as to what happened to Asuka, the volcanic girl.

The nurse motioned a finger around her left eye and clenched her fist.

"You must have hit her in the rampage. She wasn't really hurt though, in fact she requested that you're properly cared for before I gave her first aid. You must be really good friend with her as she insisted that you must be kept alive at any cost possible," Yayoi said with a brilliant smile.

Shinji returned the smile as much as his muscle could decide between going rigid and losing bladder control. The good news was, he got a choice between being killed by a beautiful nurse he had just met for no reason or he could go home and be sadistically tortured by his roommate before promptly executed. The bad news was, he was going to hell for killing angels and not being a vegetarian.

"Mr. Kutaragi is still alive if that is why you're shivering. It is a shame his eye was stabbed like a fork into meatball or it could has been saved."

The good looking nurse grabbed Shinji by his chin, forced his mouth open and dropped two tablets into it.

"It's aspirin. The cute girl with the wild blue hairs told me Nerv will come and get you later, so I didn't call the ambulance. You look okay to me, but you might have suffered head trauma and I don't have the equipment to diagnose you here."

Water slipped down his cheek as Yayoi poured water down his throat. The nurse sat down on the chair next to Shinji. Yayoi then leaned on the bed and positioned herself face to face with Shinji even as the boy tried his best to look away.

'Damn it, I'm not prepared for this. Mainstream religion never said anything about death being a beautiful nurse in tight sweater and miniskirt.'

"I'm going to be a real busy woman these coming days. Students will be coming in droves for post-trauma treatment. Even the classes which are on the next block will be dropping by; probably claiming they experienced sleepless night because they heard animalistic cries and blood freezing howls."

If Shinji gulped any harder, he could have swallowed his own tongue. Fear for his life and a strangely erotic emotion pumped his blood even harder as the seductive nurse drew circles on his chest.

"And do you have any ideas, who's the bad, bad, naughty boy who caused all these problems?"

Shinji closed his eyes and prayed to any dark gods who did not send the Angels.

'That's it. Good bye world. Good bye Rei. Eternity is a long time. Maybe someday I'll be as good as you at being dark and gloomy. But you won't be going to the bad, bad place I will be heading too. I will be alone for real this time. All the moaning and whining I have been doing will be for nothing.'

'In the end, it doesn't even matter.'

Soft and warm feelings enclosed Shinji like the wings of angels he never knew about. For the moment, he believed that God couldn't be possibly so vengeful if he was responsible for such a beautiful person.

"Thank you, Shinji. Thank you for saving all of us. I know you must be tired of all these nonsense placed on you. It is alright to cut loose sometime," Yayoi ended with a conspiratorial wink.

"No one will hold it against you for hurting Kutaragi. Besides, he was a rather unpopular teacher to begin with. He will be forgotten as time passes."

The nurse wiped a lone tear from Shinji's face.

"You're important, Shinji."

It would have been a heaven for Shinji to have the longhaired nurse drape herself over him like some sort of ultimate sleeping blanket with boobs and great smell. However, the straight jacket and thick leather straps placed evenly along the bed was starting to restrict blood flow above his neck. Every breath he took was a chore as the straps restricted his chest from expanding. It did not help with the fact that Miss Yayoi was currently resting her head on his chest.

A few stray hairs came into contact with Shinji's nostril as he sucked in air. The light taste of honeydew was surprisingly calming and dangerous at the same time. The mecha pilot had a feeling he would go insane if this situation continued; if he was not a certified psycho already.

"Miss Yayoi, can you release me from all these restrains, please?"

The grown woman lifted herself from the young boy. It would be a complicated situation if someone were to stumble in at the moment. However, there were many problems Yayoi was prepared to rectify with her sword if diplomacy were to fail her.

"Promise me you wouldn't hurt yourself, Shinji?"

Shinji smiled as he imagined the other doctor he worked with to say similar words. Compassion was definitely not part of the mad scientist's vocabulary. Ritsuko would be more in character to say something along the line of "Don't worry Shinji, a human body can take up to 20,000 volt and lives. This is only half of it."

"I promise."

As Yayoi worked with the straps, divine beings conspired against Shinji Ikari. The mecha pilot thought he had it bad with God, the Man, the Lord, Creator etc. but in reality Luck was the one who hated his butt with a vengeance. There was only so much a mortal can do if some omnipotent being put in overtime just to make your life hell.

The school intercom system buzzed alive with a loud crack.

"Attention, Miss Yayoi, you're required in the gym. There is an accident. I repeat, Miss Yayoi, you're required in the gym."

The good nurse looked at the IPX phone at her desk and the young boy wrapped on the bed like a piece of delicious ham. After a slight evaluation, she decided that Shinji should stay in the clinic while she went to work.

"I will be back soon, Shinji."

"But..."

"You will be safe here," the beautiful nurse cooed, oblivious to the hideous plan the world had for Shinji.

It was the same shitty situation all over again. Only this time, Shinji didn't fight an Angel. And he was strapped to the bed like a violent criminal. Nonetheless, it was the same thing; trapped in an infirmary and left with a sketchy memory of what he had done.

Shinji stretched his neck as the door to the clinic opened. It must be either Miss Yayoi or Nerv medics.

"Hello, Ikari," a voice that Shinji last expected to hear sounded from the doorway.

The limping form of Mr. Kutaragi sloshed into the room. He had a recently wrapped eye patch made of bandages and fresh blood was seeping through it. His facial muscle was contorted in a weird expression of extreme constipation. It was decided this man needed more greens in his diet.

"Teacher, I know this organic store which sells really cheap vegetable."

"Don't mock me, boy. How do you know I worked for PETA?" The grumpy history teacher made his way to Shinji's bedside.

"I don't do animals. I don't know what you're talking about!" Shinji protested from his bed.

"It's People Enabling Terrorist Activities, you fool. And don't ever associate me with those dogfuckers again!" Kutaragi rapped the defenseless boy on the head to make his point.

"You Nerv idiots are smarter than you let on. How long have you known I worked for PETA?"

The one-eyed history teacher had a tremendous urge to scratch his eye patch but stopped himself. Then he sat down on the swiveling chair and lit himself a cigarette. He waited impatiently for Shinji to answer to his crime.

"Answer me!"

"What are you talking about?"

Mr Kutaragi looked at his student at a moment, perhaps to see if the young boy was telling the truth. It was decided a little torture would be good education. The burning end of the cigarette lit brightly as took deep breath.

"Yarrghhhhhhhh!" The mecha pilot cried as the hand, which he did not use to masturbate, was singed with burning tobacco.

Kutaragi rewarded himself with a smug smile as stream of tears flowed from the cowardly boy. He flicked the ruined cig away and lit another one.

Gritting his teeth and summoning his courage to push the pain away, Shinji fought back.

"Miss Yayoi will be coming back soon."

He was replied with a gush of second hand smoke in his face.

"Hah, that's what you think, boy. I already took care of the dumb slut before coming here. You thought the call over the intercom was real?"

"You didn't hurt Miss Yayoi!"

The old and evil history teacher stood up and backhanded Shinji in the face.

"When I'm done with you, bitch, I'm getting a piece of that sweet Yayoi ass. Always jiggling her ass around like a slut. Every single male in the faculty has always fantasized about her. Fucking losers. I will be dangling her panties filled with my juice in front of those bastards and laugh in their face."

Shinji turned away as a mouthful of spit assaulted him. However, that was not the only thing that hurt him. This was not the first time he was made helpless, as the people who he cared about got hurt. Maybe Touji's sister didn't really count, but it still sucked. All those angsty music helped him to deal with his own pain, but it did nothing to relieve the one suffered by the people he cared about.

Sniffling a little, Shinji asked his prosecutor. "What did I do to you? Why are you doing this to me?"

Kutaragi turned the chair around and straddled it as he leaned on the backrest. He had a confident look in his face common to all James Bond villains that went on long exposition about how they were going to rule the world and make it a better place.

"Fourteen years ago, I had a daughter, just a few years older than you are now. She would have been hotter than Yayoi if she were still alive. One pretty little girl, she was Minami Kutaragi," the old history teacher cum environmental terrorist spoke in a story telling voice.

"I was working with Halliburton at the time and we lived in the States for a few years. Best years of my life if you ask me. I shouldn't have let her be too close to those white chicks, but damn, those were some hot asses she brought back to our home," Kutaragi continued with a sad smile on his face. Shinji figured it was more perverted than sad.

"Those Yankees, they were bad influences to little Minami. I have no idea what went wrong at that time, suddenly she just cut herself from me. Stopped talking to me. Perhaps I was to blame as well. Busy with work and all, not enough parenting, you know?"

Shinji nodded a little, not out of sympathy for his captor but somehow he knew what his criminal teacher was talking about.

"Then a colleague pointed to me a website maintained by my daughter. It was actually a blog. It got big enough that my boss questioned me about it. Do you know what she had in there?"

Shinji shook his head.

"Anti mega-corporation articles using my damn works as real life evidence. It was nothing damning, in reality. But someone got to be made a scapegoat and who was better than the father of the little anarchist?" Kutaragi blew the smoke upwards. Shinji could feel bitterness in his voice.

"I came back from office and found a letter on the dining table. I swore I pissed and shat blood for a week after the shook I took from being fired and reading the fucking letter in the same day. My little girl got herself in the Arctic with her gang of crazy Greenpeace terrorist to protest against the oil drilling sponsored by a defunct predecessor of Nerv; Gehirn."

Kutaragi shot Shinji with an accusing look. "You're a pilot. You know what really happened next, don't you?"

"It was not Nerv fault a comet decided to visit at that time."

A rough hand choked Shinji.

"It was not a god damned comet. I did my research before I joined PETA. Your people were testing a new type of weapon there. Some kind of prototype explosive device that would change the global balance of power. I forgot what was the rest when the PETA geek briefed me."

"It doesn't change the fact that your greedy fuck corporation killed my daughter!" Kutaragi rose in righteous anger.

Mr Kutaragi then punched Shinji twice before the Nerv employee had a chance to defend himself vocally. The history teacher who was revealed to be an environmental terrorist looked around the infirmary for a very important item.

Wrapping a white towel around his head, he proclaimed, "Today, Tsurugi Kutaragi dies…"

… a ridiculously large safety pin clipped the towel snuggly into place, completing the ritual.

"… and reborn as Abdul Ahmed!"

A/N: Yayoi Sanzein is the school nurse in Happy Lesson(Advance). You can check out how she looks like here, (photobucketcom/albums/b120/puppyslayer/paperangel). Anyway, I hope I didn't go overboard with the use of ACC and some minor character from other anime series. It helps me visualize the scene. Then again, I do know that people read Eva fics for canon character. Thanks for staying with me, the next chapter will feature more characters from the show.

George Lucas makes political commentary in his creation. PuppySlayer don't. Hopefully, no one took the last scene as a jab at minorities. Please give a comment if you assume it was done in bad taste.

Props:

Hououza: This is a real swell guy. Go read his fic.

RyoTD, RustyKnights, Kadmon, Ignorantly Grinning: You got your wishes.

SephirothV16: Keitaro will be… different.

Rgreat: There will be enough evilness to go around, but Shinji's going to take some time.

Elijah Snow: Yes, Shinobu is a biological weapon of mass kawaiiness. And your old history teacher must be really cool. Heh.

And thanks to all the other reviewers, peeps from Evafics and Evamade and forums that I don't know about.

Next chapter: Shinobu got to wait. Shinji had a lesson in unusual method of interrogation from a friendly Section Two agent and learned the importance of respecting foreign cultures. Taking advantages of all the fear and confusion in the school, Hikari knew it was her opportunity to put a boot in the face of democracy.