I know it's been a while, but i finally go it up. This chapter took shorter than i expected. But i used all my mindpower to get throught it and i hope you all enjoy it! As always reviews are a writers friend
Nervousness
Kate scurried about the caves trying her best to busy herself. The darkness of the cave mixed with the sunrays slowly peering through the tree canopy as the sun rose. Every once and a while she would look over her shoulder to see Jack lying fast asleep on her cot. She knew once he woke up she'd have to go back to sitting down and relaxing. She couldn't do that.
It was hard for her to relax anymore.
Now that she had moved to the caves she was antsy and somewhat fearful. The place gave her bad vibes. Since the first night she had slept there before she was even pregnant she felt this way. It just creeped her out. There was something unnerving about the place.
She had now been staying there for two weeks. Two weeks of claustrophobia. Two weeks of barely any sleep.
The first night she was there she heard odd whispers as she tried to drift off to sleep. At first she thought it was just her mind playing tricks with her, but as the nights wore on it got worse. She started seeing things on the walls as she stared at them with wide eyes.
Then there were the nightmares.
They haunted her every night. All of them were horrific instances were she lost the baby. She'd be out in the jungle and that thing in the jungle would spring up from the ground. It would chase her through the masked darkness trying to defeat her. Then in an instant she'd fall into a pit of blood. Grabbing at her stomach she'd find nothing there.
She was scared to death. Scared that this life inside of her was going to be taken from her. For a long time she didn't tell Jack. Too scared that he'd think she was crazy like Claire. But when it became too much and she wasn't getting any sleep he noticed and she had to tell him.
He assured her that it was just her hormones trying to get the best of her. He advised her to take it easy and just lounge around instead of trying to do so much. That didn't help her sleep. It made it worse. She began to worry that she wasn't going to be ready for the baby.
So to help her get over it and at least feel safe while she slept, he moved into the cave with her. Feeling his body close to her at night did put her at ease and help her sleep. That was about the only thing it did. Without the nightmares she began to worry more about not being ready.
That was the situation she was in now. Jack tried to put a label on what she was doing and say she was nestling, but this was nowhere near that. He soon saw how serious she was about it and began to worry. He tried to put her on bed rest, and for two days it actually worked, but he caught her. Up at the crack of dawn like she was now, cleaning at feverish pace. Trying to place everything just right.
She nearly thought to give up. It was hard to see anything without the sun being up all the way. Then there was the possibility of waking someone up. Charlie lay asleep no more than six feet away from where she was standing. All curled up into a ball with his fist clenched tight. He never slept like that till after Claire. It was weird how in daily life he seemed happy, but once asleep his true state peered through.
Looking past him she saw Hurley lying on his side like usual. Michael and Walt were in the far corner up against a piece of wreckage. The others were scattered between each other. All of them sleeping. Most of them dreaming of their past lives. She hoped they at least had a happy life to dream about. She was stuck with a nightmare instead of a dream.
Standing there looking over each of them she began to think what'd she'd be doing in that moment if the plane hadn't crashed. Probably sitting in some dank cell forcing sleep upon herself. Just the thought of that made her think of the cave she was staying in.
Glancing over her shoulder she saw it. It was weird how much the cave and the cell had in common. As her eyes wondered over the rock walls focusing on every grove and indentation she began to realize why she hated the caves so much. They were like prison to her. Cold, wet, damp, and small. Confined spaces. That's why she didn't like them. They reminded her of what was supposed to be.
Thoughts of worry came over her again. Her growing fear that someone was going to take the baby from her got the best of her. She wanted to sit down and rest, but there was nowhere sit without waking someone up. With a sigh of aggravation she slowly made her way back into the cave.
Her eyes quickly latched onto Jack. Still he lay on his back with one hand hung over the edge of the bed and the other sprawled out across his chest. She watched it move every time his chest heaved with his breath. Smiling she felt some sense of security, but not enough.
Leaning down she planted her hand on the ground to leverage herself as she sat. As her butt came in contact with the cold rock ground she let out a silent squeal. Wiggling around in her place she did her best to get comfortable, but sadly it was a losing battle. Being pregnant, it wasn't easy to sit so leisurely on the ground anymore.
Pushing off the stretching pain in her back, she leaned over and pulled the wooden baby crib towards her. Along with it she pulled her backpack over. Opening it she pulled out a small knife and sand paper Locke had given her to smooth out the edges.
Looking over the crib she found the place in which she had left. Taking the knife she cut off the point and with the sand paper she began to smooth over the wood.
She was so concentrated with what she was doing she didn't hear anything around her until someone spoke up.
"What are you doing?"
His voice nearly caused her to jump up. Instead she glanced over her shoulder to see him, and seeing his ill-gotten face she turned back to the crib.
"Sanding the rough edges." She replied.
"And how long have you been up doing this?" He asked in a weathered voice as he stretched.
"I've only been doing this for a couple of minutes."
She waited for him to ask her another question. Instead she was overcome by his shadow as he came up behind her. She turned from the crib and watched him as he sat down next to her. Their eyes didn't meet till he was on the ground next to her. She had a feeling he wasn't sitting to help her.
"Then how long have you been up before this?" He asked turning to her.
Refusing to give up just then she went back to the crib. Rubbing the paper as fast as she could she thought she could get it sanded before he made her get up and lay down. But he stopped her. Placing his hand over hers he stopped her.
Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes. All the worrying thoughts came into her mind as she looked over to him. She could see that distrustful look on his face. The look that he gave her every time he seemed to be let down by something she did.
"Why are you doing this to yourself Kate?"
"I'm not doing anything. It's this place." She said glancing up to the rock walls as the shadows of the trees and things outside splashed across them in a rainbow of gray.
"I can't stop worrying that I'm not ready yet."
"You shouldn't be worrying everything is going to be fine." He tried to assure her with a smile.
"I should be the one whose worried I have to deliver the baby-"
"Yeah, but I have to go through that pain of pushing it out of my body and then after that I have to take care out it for the rest of my life. I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility. I mean a year ago I was in the custody of the government and now I'm stranded on an island because of a plane crash. And I'm pregnant."
"I mean how am I supposed to raise a child on an island? What is it going to eat? Where is it going to sleep? Then there is the matter of clothes. It can't exactly run around naked all of his life. Then there's the highly unlikely possibility that we get rescued. The government's going to take my child from me and he's going to be left alone in the world with no one to look after him. I can't put a child through that." She cried.
Jack lowered his hand. Slowly running his fingers down her arm he tried to think of something to say, but he couldn't. She was right and he knew it. It was going to be hard to raise a child on and island. And if they did get rescued they probably would take the child away. There was no way of stopping it, but he'd be damned if he was going to let this child alone in the world. There was no way that was going to happen and there was no way he was going to let Kate go through this alone.
"Kate, I can't say that you're wrong." He began as he just went along with it making it up as he spoke.
"It's going to be hard. It's going to be rough, but you're not alone in this. Not by a long shot. I'm here. Sawyer's here, and everyone else is here with you and we're going to help you through it the best we can. You're going to worry, but you know nothing is going to happen to this baby, because I'm not going to let it."
His words were comforting, but still she feared.
"But what if they take it from me Jack?" She whispered as she lowered her head.
"What if they take it from me and I never get to see it again?"
"They won't. I won't let them. I promise."
Lifting her head up she opened her eyes as tears tickled down her cheeks. Staring at the crib in front of her she couldn't help, but let all of it get to her. She was so scared. And he knew it. Slowly over the last few days he saw her become unhinged. This was worse than when she first told him she was pregnant. All the worried questions, he passed off as cold feet, but this was anxiety. She was working herself up and of she didn't stop she was going to go into an early labor.
"Are you ok?" He asked.
Her lips trembled as she fought back a nervous breakdown. Looking over to him through the tears she shook her head.
In that moment he didn't try and comfort her with words. He simply took her him his arms and held her tight. When she felt his hands around her she let it all go. She broke down and cried.
"I'm so scared Jack."
"I know." He whispered.
She began to shake in his arms as she cried. At this point he didn't know what to do. All he could do was hold her and try to convince her it was going to be all right. Doing so he leaned down and kissed the top of her forehead as he held her tighter. He sat there as she lay across his lap sobbing until the tears wouldn't come anymore.
The day went on. Kate eventually calmed down, but that didn't stop her from "nesting". Once Jack headed off for the day and Kate was under the watchful eyes of Charlie and Hurley, she went back to what she was doing.
In two hours time she collected all of the clothes at the caves, washed them, folded, and put away the ones that were dry. When that was done she fell into a boredom spell. Michael came by and offered her some books. She tried to take Jack's advice and settled down. Halfway through one chapter of the first book she became antsy again.
She went for a walk around the borders of the caves. That didn't help. It just gave her quiet time to think and dwell on everything. Sometimes she caught herself peeking over her shoulder to see if "it" was following her. Every sound from then on spooked her. Finally she gave up and went back to the caves.
By then it was sundown. Slowly everyone was making his or her way back to the caves to eat. Walt wondered in with Vincent in tow. After that was Michael who was joined by Locke. Of course Charlie and Hurley came in together. Both stopping to see how she was doing and to feel the baby kick. By the time the caves were dark and lit by only firelight everyone had made it back. Everyone but Jack. She began to worry.
"Have you seen him?' She questioned in the meekest voice as she approached Charlie and Hurley.
"Seen who?" Charlie asked.
"Jack. He's not back yet."
"Probably on his way. Wouldn't worry about it." He assured her with a smile as he went back to his boar.
"Ok." She said turning away.
Before she walked away she quickly spun around and looked to Hurley.
"You haven't seen him have you?"
"Dude not since we were on the beach."
She stared at his over the fire. Worry clouded her eyes and controlled her stance as she stood. It wasn't like her to be so worried over Jack, and she had no idea why she was being this way. She kept glancing over to the entranceway waiting for him to walk in, but he didn't.
Charlie and Hurley exchanged looks and then looked up to Kate who still stood in front of them. Looking off towards the other side of the caves. They could see she was really worried.
"Are you ok?" Hurley asked.
She glanced back to him and then to Charlie. They were both hit by the pathetic look she had displayed over her face. Fear was welled into her eyes as she stared at them. It seemed as if something was wrong.
"Are you having the baby or something?" He asked, as his eyes got wide.
Charlie jumped up and walked over to her before she could answer. He stood close as he tried to think of what to do.
"I don't know what to do, but like I told Cla-"
"I'm not having the baby." She announced.
Charlie backed off and lowered his shaky hands.
"I'm just worried about where he is."
"You're sure you're not having the baby?"
"Yes Charlie, I'm sure." She smiled resting her hand on his arm.
"Ok then. Nothing to worry about." He sighed walking past her.
She watched after him as he walked over to the boar that hung over the firs in which Walt, Lock, Michael, and the others sat at. As he pulled off some meat she looked away and over to Hurley who tried to by pass her stare.
Putting the boar meat into his hand, Charlie glanced up to see the other staring at him with question. They obviously heard what went on and wanted to know what happened. Before he could say anything he saw Jack emerge from the trail. Immediately he hurried over to him.
"Hey Charlie." He breathed wiping sweat from his forehead.
He sensed something wasn't right as Charlie looked away searching for what to say.
"What's wrong?"
"Kate, she uh came up to us all worried about where you were. She kept asking and we kept telling her we didn't know. She's acting like something was wrong and we thought she might be in labor or something."
The second Charlie said that Jack looked past him to Kate. Still she stood in front of Hurley. Her hand spread over her stomach oddly holding it to herself. He went to go for her, but Charlie stopped him.
"She said she was alright, but I really don't know so…"
"I'll take care of it, thanks Charlie." Jack said as he pushed past him and rushed over to Kate.
"Any…time." Charlie whispered as he watched him walk up to Kate.
Kate quickly turned around as if she felt his presence.
"Jack." She exclaimed.
He said nothing as his looked her over. Looking for signs if she was in labor or not.
"You ok?" He asked resting his hand on her shoulder.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"
"Charlie said you were wondering where I was and acting really worried. He thought maybe you went into labor."
"I'm fine. I was just worried where you were." She sighed shrugging her shoulders.
"You sure. No pains? No w-"
"I'm fine Jack. Really." She tried to assure him.
"You really think I'd lie about going into labor?"
"Maybe." He smiled.
She took offense to it, but let it go. It didn't matter she was just happy he was back.
"You hungry?" He asked.
"Starving.' She said grabbing her stomach.
"Good. I went and picked some fruit for you." She said sliding his backpack off his shoulders.
Pulling out some mangos, he led her over to the fire next to Hurley. Sitting down, he even turned and questioned her health. She assured him along with the others that she was ok and wasn't in labor. Once that was settled her and Jack sparked up and easygoing conversation about cartoons and children's TV shows. Both seemed at ease, but Kate wasn't fooling Jack like she was the others. She was still worried about something.
Once the conversation turned Kate became quiet. After a while of just sitting there she gave in. Standing up she stretched and began away from the group. Heading towards the nursery cave, she thought no one noticed her leaving when in fact everyone seemed to watch her.
"Dude is she ok?" Hurley asked.
Jack pulled away from watching her disappear into the shadows and looked back to him.
"Yeah." He sighed.
"She just doesn't like it here. It puts too much anxiety on her."
"It's gotta be rough." Hurley said with raised brow as he looked back to the fire.
"With the baby being so close to being born and all she's gotta be going out of her mind." Charlie exclaimed.
"I'm surprised she hasn't tried to kill any of us in our sleep." Jack joked.
The two became silent. Their eyes curious as they stared at him. He could tell they thought he might be serious. Then again he kinda was. She was off end and he really didn't know what she was capable in the state she was in. Thinking about it he had the want to go and check on her. Make sure she was all right.
"I'll be back." He announced standing up.
Walking into the cave he saw her sitting on the bed with her back turned to him. Her legs were crossed Indian style in front of her. Her head hung as she looked over something in her lap. Slowly walking in he tried to make it out.
The instant she heard his footsteps on the ground behind she tried to hide what she had and turned around.
"Hey." She greeted him.
"Hey." He said back as he came closer to her.
She turned back and uncovered the object in her hand. It was the toy airplane that had been in the case with the guns. Sitting there twirling it around between her fingers she looked sad. Like a child who had lost their best friend.
"Going to bed?" He asked trying to change the mood around.
"Maybe." She sighed.
With another sigh, she bent over and gently placed the plane a top a suitcase against the wall. Sitting back her eyes turned to her stomach as the baby kicked. Resting her hand over her stomach she felt the oncoming of tears. She didn't know why, but she felt like just letting it all go like she had that morning.
Standing there he didn't know what to say to her. Usually when he didn't have the answer he came up with something that sounded right, but in this was different. He hadn't seen her like this before. She seemed so broken and lost. The only other time she was close to this was when he yelled out her about the safe. But he ended up redeeming himself with guava seeds. This time it wasn't his fault and he had no idea what to do to make her happy.
"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked sitting down next to her.
She slowly turned her head to look at him. The look in her eyes spoke exactly what she was feeling. Fear. The awaiting tears in her eyes sparkled in the firelight coming from outside the caves. He wanted to wipe them away and tell her again that everything was all right, but it didn't seem to help.
"Yeah." She whispered swallowing her tears.
"Just worried as usual." She laughed.
He could hear the tears on her voice as she tried to push them away.
"Worried about what?" He asked hoping talking about it would relieve of this stress.
"I was so scared when you didn't come back with the others. I kept thinking of the worse possible thing happening to you. Maybe you were lying in a ditch fighting to breath. Or maybe you were lost and couldn't find your way back. Then the real fear came when I thought about you not coming back. I started to panic about how I was going to have this baby without you."
"But it wasn't the fact that you're the doctor. It was that I have come to realized that without you I can't raise this baby." She said slowly droning into a whisper as she stared at him unblinking.
"Kate you're going to be fine. The baby is going to fine. I'm going to be fine. Nothing is going to happen. Just cause I came back a little late doesn't mean you have to go through this alone. And I understand what you're going through-"
"You have no idea what I'm going through Jack."
"Well I have some idea. The point is that it's ok to feel like this. But if you let it over take you, your going to have that baby sooner than any of us expect it." He warned motioning to the baby with his eyes.
"I can't help it Jack. I'm scared I'm going to lose you and this baby. I'm just scared ok?"
"I know that. I know you're scared, but nothing is going to happen. And even in the near impossible chance that something happens to me you have Sawyer."
"Sawyer? Are you serious?"
"You're trying to comfort me with Sawyer?" She questioned.
"I know he's not what you want as a father. But whether you see it or not. He's capable Kate. I mean out of all the things that separate us we do have one thing in common. We both will do anything in our power to keep you and that baby safe."
She almost felt selfish when he finished. She had to admit that she was worrying too much, but she couldn't help it. With all the hormones added with the happening of birth so close all she could do was worry.
"I'm sorry Jack." She said.
"I'm sorry I'm acting this way, but I can't help-"
"Don't be sorry. I mean it."
"Like I said when you kissed Sawyer, you can't control what's happening to you right now. I wish you could, but you can't. You're dealing with this the best you can. And you're doing a pretty good job at it all too." He smiled tucking a fallen lock of hair behind her ear.
"Really?"
"Really."
"You're doing great and you're going to do great with this child. You're going to be a great mother."
"We need to just take this step by step. None of this is going to hit you head on without you being ready and me being behind you to help you." He assured her.
"Thank you." She whispered trying to smile herself.
"Your welcome." He said a he leaned in and kissed her.
As he pulled back he saw a small tear trickle down her cheek. Cupping her face he wiped it away with his thumb before it made it all the way down her face.
"I think sleep is in order." She sighed with a laugh.
Turning around she literally pushed Jack off the bed. Sleep suddenly snuck up on her and was trying to win her over. Pushing herself down on the bed she turned on her side and readied herself to sleep. He bent over and helped her get settled. Once she began to drift off he wished her goodnight and headed out of the cave.
"Jack." She called stopping him.
He turned and looked down to her fighting sleep.
"Stay with me."
With a rewarding smile he walked over. Slowly he lowered himself to the ground next to the cot. Getting himself as comfortable as he could get on the ground he looked back to her.
"Goo-"
He stopped short seeing her fast asleep. Seeing her lay there in peace he felt himself become sleepy as well. Turning around he rested his head back on the edge of the bed. Closing his eyes he was asleep in an instant.
"Jack!"
Kate struggled to keep herself asleep as she heard someone call his name. She knew once she opened her eyes she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.
"Jack!"
It came close this time. She could feel Jack moving around next to the bed. Was he awake? Did he hear it? He had to. If she could hear it in her sleep he had to be able too.
"Jack!"
As it came the third time it sounded as if the person was in the cave with her and Jack. She could dismiss it. Opening her eyes she was overcastted by the shadows of two figures. One being Jack and the other she couldn't make out.
By the sound of the frantic voice she realized it was Sun. She couldn't understand what she was ranting about, but it seemed serious. And it was. Jack quickly turned around and grabbed his leather backpack. The one with all his medical supplies.
When he rushed out of the cave with Sun, Kate sat up. She waited for a moment for him to come back in and tell her what was going on, but he didn't. Hearing the commotion out in the main caves curiosity got the best of her. She got up and followed them.
She wondered out to see Jack hurrying around telling people what to do. His pace was quick and it began to scare her. She was a sudden lost for words when she looked over to see Jin. He was sitting between Michael and Sun. His skin was lightly burnt and he coughed fighting for breath.
What was going on?
Something had happened out on the beach and it looked like that something was a fire. Turning her attention away from Jin as they tried to get him to drink, Kate looked over to see Jack. Now he had rounded up most of the men at the caves. They were all going back and forth filling up water bottles at the waterfall. Watching she counted at least 15 of them. This was serious.
Once they all seemed ready to go, Jack walked up to Charlie was looked to be going out of his mind. He kept question what he should do.
"Just stay here and please keep an eye on Kate." Jack breathed keeping half his attention on the people around him.
"What do you want me to tell her if she wakes up?"
"Tell her tha-"
"Jack what's going on?" Kate asked stepping up behind him.
His face and words froze as he heard her. Slowly he turned around to see her standing there looking around to the rushing people around her. Now that she was awake and saw what was going on he couldn't have someone lie to her about it.
"There is a fire at the beach." He announced.
"Oh my god?" She gasped.
"Is everyone ok? How bad is it?"
"I don't know."
She didn't trust his words. She could see in his eyes that he was holding something back. Something he didn't want her to know.
"Is the fire still going?"
"Yeah. We gotta leave now and go try and put it out." He said as he turned to leave.
"Jac-"
"It's going to be ok."
She didn't believe him. There was something more wrong than just a fire.
"I'm coming with you." She insisted.
"No. Stay here. I don't want to have to worry about you being around this fire."
"I don't want to sit here and worry about you being around it or in either."
"Please stay here." He begged her.
Rolling her eyes as she took a deep breath she realized she had to let him go. Nodding her head she stepped back.
"I'll be ok I promise."
With that he hurried off into the night with the others. All of them racing to the beach hoping to get there in time.
Kate began to worry. It hadn't even been five minute since he walked away from her and she began to worry. A sick feeling grew in the pit of her stomach as she sat down next to a shaken Charlie. Taking a deep breath she rolled her neck and tried not to think about it, but she knew that would be impossible.
Obviously seeing her worried, Sun got up and walked over. Sitting down next to her she began to think of something say. Something that could ease the uneasy feeling that everyone saw she had.
"He's going to be ok." She smiled.
Kate looked over and tried to push away the fear with her words.
"I know." Kate sighed.
"He's make it out and everything will be ok."
Sun's words struck her. She didn't understand what she meant by it.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean Jack will get him out and-"
"Jack will get who out?" Kate questioned as she suddenly began to feel vomit creeping up her throat.
Sun's eyes became wide when she realized Kate didn't know what was actually going on. Jack hadn't told her.
"Who are you talking about?" Kate questioned again with more dread in her voice.
"Sawyer." Sun replied in a low tone as she looked back to Kate.
Kate swallowed hard forcing herself not to get sick. Quickly she began to shake as she turned away. With slow and deep breath she forced herself to stand.
"What's going on at the beach?" She asked looking down to Sun.
Slowly she came and stood in front of Kate. Extending her hand she braced Kate by grasping her shoulders. She looked into her eyes and saw the question and tears as she prepared herself to shatter Kate's world.
"Sawyer's tent caught on fire." She began as her words quivered off her lips.
Kate felt her body go numb. If Sun hadn't been holding her up she would have fallen.
"He's trapped. Jin tried to go in an rescue him, but the flames were too much."
It took all of her strength to raise her hand to her mouth.
This can't be happening, she thought. Not to her. Not to Sawyer.
Although at times she hated Sawyer, she couldn't lose him. Not now. Not ever. And now Jack was racing off to save his life and probably risking his own. She was going to lose the two men most important to her in the same night. It was her worse nightmare come true.
Fear took over her body as she stood there and trembled in Sun's arms. Jack had lied to her. He promised nothing would happen to him. And if it did by some small chance she would have Sawyer. It was a lie. She was now going to lose both of them. She was going to be left alone with this baby.
Trying to calm herself and think about the baby she fought for strength.
"I'm going to the beach."
"Kate no you need to stay here." Sun tried to tell her.
"No I can't stay here knowing I could loose them." She cried as she headed of towards the trail.
Everyone heard her. As they watched her stumble and stagger quickly through the caves they all realized they needed to stop her. Charlie saw the state she was in and rushed up behind her.
"Kate you can't do this.' He exclaimed grabbing her by the arm.
She struggled against him and almost fell. Quickly he and Sun caught her and brought her to her feet. She was in no condition to be running to the beach.
"You need to think about the baby.' Sun warned as they tried to pull her back into the caves.
"Don't talk to me about the baby!" She shouted pulling from their grip.
They all stopped and let her go. Turning from them she hurried off into the darkness. Sun looked to Charlie and Locke wondering what to do.
"You two follow her. She won't make it to the beach." He said.
"What about Jin?" Sun asked looking back to her husband.
"We'll take care of him. You need to take care of her."
At the last of his words Charlie headed off. Rushing out into the jungle after Kate. He wasn't going to let her wonder off scared by herself. He wasn't going to let another person die because he didn't do anything.
Thinking about it Sun gave in. Quickly assuring Jin that she would be back, she ran off in the direction Charlie and Kate did before her. She like Charlie hoped they would reach Kate in time.
They found her halfway down the trail. Leaned up against a tree taking deep almost panicked breaths. She wasn't doing so well.
"Kate you need to come back to the caves." Sun said steeping up behind Charlie.
Kate shook her head before she spoke.
"No. I can't."
Both knew there was no way she was going to give in and head back. She was scared. Scared Jack and Sawyer were going to die. There was no way they could convince her they were ok without seeing them with her own eyes.
"All right then." Charlie said.
"We're goi-"
"Jack said to keep her at the caves." Sun pointed out.
"I know what he said, but she's not going to do it. So all we can do is go with her."
Both of them turned to see Kate bowled over taking deep breaths. She looked to be in pain. It worried them.
"Are you ok?" Sun questioned coming up and resting her hand on her back.
"Yeah, I just have some pains in my back from running." She breathed as she tried to stand.
Charlie came to her other side and helped her up. He could see along with Sun that it was hurting her to stand up strait.
"How about we take it a bit slower?' Charlie suggested.
"I'm fine. I don't need to go slower."
"Kate, please just take it at a normal pace. If you try and run all the way to the beach you're going to pass out.' Sun warned her.
"I'm fine, but ok." She said as they began to walk.
She wasn't fine. She was lying to herself and them. A sudden pain had crept up her back and was now making it hard for her too walk. It wasn't a constant pain. It only came on every few minutes. That told her what was happening and it scared her to death. But she could let it over take her. She needed to get to the beach and a little pain wasn't going to stop her.
The pains kept coming as they walked. She knew what going on, but she pressed on. Putting herself into denial she kept going.
Coming out onto the beach the three stopped in their place in shock. It was a scene of chaos. People running around carrying water in buckets from the water. Other moving charred objects across the beach.
Kate immediately looked over to Sawyer's tent. She nearly collapsed when she saw it. Flames raging over it. The bright oranges and yellows flying around in a massive clash trying to win over the fight to put it out. Shadowy figures races around its base throwing water onto it trying their best to win it over. It was a loosing battle the fire was winning.
She walked across the sand in a daze with her eyes glued to it. Sun and Charlie followed closely behind staring up to it in bemuse. Smoke clouded the air around them as they got closer and closer to it. Both behind her keeping an eye on her movement. They had not idea what she was going to do.
She didn't even feel the tears that rolled down her cheeks as she watched the flames devour Sawyer's tent and it's surroundings. She didn't even acknowledge the sudden pain the wrecked her body again. Again she passed it off as she stopped ten feet from the fire and just stared at it.
Pulling herself away from the carnage she was drawn to a movement in the fire near where the entrance to the tent was supposed to be. She studied it with unmoving eyes. Quickly a figure stumbled out of the inferno. The instant they were out they fell to the sand. Kate's stomach immediately dropped.
It was Jack.
Without out thought or judgment she picked up her feet and raced over. The two behind her became alarmed when they saw her.
"Kate!" They both yelled as they hurried after her.
Lying in the sand Jack heard her name being called and looked up. There he saw her running towards him like a madman as she looked between him and the fire.
"Jack!" She cried as she watched him come to his feet.
She almost didn't recognize him as she came close. He was almost completely black. Cover in ash and soot.
"Kat-" He coughed as the smoke started to bother his lungs.
"What are you doing here?" He questioned.
"Is he all right?"
She knew.
"What do you me-"
"Sawyer? Is he all right?" She cried grabbing onto his shirt.
Jack looked past her to see Sun and Charlie standing there shaking their heads. He wanted to blame them, but he couldn't. He knew Kate would get it out of them. Slowly looking back to her he fought for what to tell her. Seeing the terror in her eyes he knew he couldn't lie.
"I don't know Kate." He whispered.
Her lips quivered as she began to cry.
How couldn't he know? He had to.
"Now I need you to go back to the ca-"
"No I'm not going back there!"
He knew that she wouldn't go. There was no way of making her. He also knew Sawyer was fighting for life inside and he had to go back in and get him.
"I need to go back in there and get him." He exclaimed pulling away from her.
"Jack!" She screamed after him as he covered himself and ran back into fire.
He didn't hear her and she knew that. She stood there not knowing what to do. So many thoughts her head. Taking them all in she jumped at the least rational. She headed after him.
Charlie and Sun freaked out and ran up to the fire. Both screaming her name hoping she would turn back. But she didn't.
Heat enveloped Kate as she walked through the fire. Flames came up and nipped her skin burning it instantaneously. Smoke quickly took the place of oxygen and so began her fight to breath. Covering her eyes trying to shield them from the bright flames as she pushed her way through.
Looking around she began to panic. She couldn't find Jack and she couldn't breath. Opening her mouth to scream for him she sucked in a gulp of smoke.
"Ja-"
She couldn't even scream his name. The smoke she took in put her into a coughing fit as she struggled to breathe and find Jack.
Walking farther into the fire she quickly became lightheaded. The heat and lack of air weren't good for her. It wasn't good for everyone, but she was pregnant and she was risking her life along with that of her baby.
"Jack!"
She finally got his name out before something came tumbling down in front of her. Barely missing her. It scared her so bad she tripped and fell backwards into the sand. That sudden pain came again and now she became to fear for her life.
Looking up she realized she was surrounded by flames and there was no way of standing up without being burned. She started to cry and cough as she continued to struggle for breath. Quickly everything became dizzy.
It seemed like forever that she sat there. The heat put her into an intoxicated like daze. Everything was blurred into a mix of colors. Her eyes began to water as the smoke came on stronger. If she sat there much longer she wasn't going to make it.
She couldn't didn't even see Jack as he pushed his way through the flames over to her. All she heard was mumbling as he crouched down next to her. Her heart fluttered and her stomach turned into knots when she saw him. She fought to say something him, but as her mouth opened nothing came out. When he touched her with his fingertips felt like the fire around her. It burned. Her mind was swirling as she tried to keep herself conscious. All she could do was wrap her arms around her stomach and stare at Jack.
Suddenly her attention was caught as another figure came up. She thought and hoped it was Sawyer, but it turned out to be Charlie. He had pushed his way through the fire like she had. When he looked over and saw the two on the ground and her grasping her stomach he quickly raced over not thinking about himself.
She watched through her heavy lids as the two shouted out each other. She couldn't make out any of the words. It was just sound to her. The crackling of the fire as it ate away at her surrounds was all she could really hear. Looking back to her they quickly stopped and came to either side of her. She almost screamed as their hands came around her. Their touch hurt so badly, but she knew they were only trying to help.
Both of them pulled her to her feet. Jack let go and came in front of her guarding her from the flames as they walked through them. He rather risk his life than to do so with her's.
They almost had to drag her out. The less and less she saw the fire she more and more it became easier for her to breath, but still her lungs were filled with the smoke she took in and it was certainly pulling her body apart.
Once they got close to the outside Jack stopped and pulled away from her. He said something to Charlie and then looked to her. He said something she couldn't make out and then turned away. She fought hard against Charlie to go back in after him, but her strength was gone. Taking control he had to practically carry her out to the beach.
The moment she felt a breeze across her face she seemed to wake up and out of her daze. She could suddenly hear, but still it was hard to breath. She looked up and saw Sun running up with a water bottle in her hand. When the water hit her lips she welcomed it freely.
The cool liquid eased the burning itch in her throat. Taking another sip she pushed it away. Balancing herself in the sand she slowly awakened as people began rushing up to her.
"Is she all right?"
"What happened?"
Adjusting her eyes and body she quickly realized Jack had ran back into the fire. Turning she tried her best to pull away from them.
"Jack.."
"Jack is fine." They tried to assured her as they turned her away from the fire,
She called his name again as they led her across the beach. They tried their best to keep her from looking back to fire. They felt at ease with the fact that she didn't have the strength go running off again, but still she didn't need to see what was happening. Not in her state.
Before Jack went back into the fire, he told Charlie to take her back to her old tent and watch her. That was what he planned on doing. But plans didn't always go through.
Midway down the beach Kate stopped. Her eyes went wide and her hand came quickly over her stomach. She became scared as she felt something trickle down her leg. Her heart began to race instantly.
"Oh god." She gasped.
"What?" Sun asked.
Kate's eyes wondered down to the sand to a small puddle was underneath her.
"My water just broke."
The two froze. Slowly their eyes traveled down to the sand to see the same thing she did.
"Are you bloody kidding me?" Charlie exclaimed.
Kate dug her nails into her stomach as she began to take panicked breaths.
"I have to go get Jack!" She shouted trying again to pull away from them.
"No. You need to got sit down." Charlie said as the two began to rush her toward her tent.
"But I can't have this baby without Jack."
They two said nothing as they led her into the tent. Sun sat her down on her abandoned bed as Charlie searched for wood to start a fire. Once he got on going they could all see the worry on each other's faces. Theirs seemed worse than hers was, but they knew she was worse inside.
"I need Jack." She said again as she tried to stand.
Before they could stop her she was clutching her back and trying her hardest to sit back down. She clenched her fist as she fought off the pain, but it was too much for her. She couldn't move. All she could do was stand there and try and bear through it.
Sun came to her side and took her arm. Again she felt as if he skin was burning. Looking down to her arm she saw that it in fact was burnt badly. But she pushed through it as Sun helped her sit on the bed. She knew she needed to rest, but she also needed Jack.
"I need Jac-." She coughed.
Sun picked up the discarded water bottle and handed it to her. Taking a sip she nearly choked as she tried to swallow it. Her lungs began to burn as she started to cough again. With her fear and crying the she couldn't stop coughing long enough to take a breath. Still she pushed herself to take another sip. Swallowing it slowly she took deep breath, which in turned calmed her body down.
Both looked to her. The soot and ash covering her face couldn't cover up the pain spread across it. Her brow was furrowed and her jaw tightened as she battled the constant pain she was in. If it wasn't the pain in her back it was her chest or her skin burning.
Charlie and Sun tried to think of what to do. They couldn't just go and get Jack. He was in that inferno trying to save Sawyer as Kate was beginning her battle with labor. They had to do something.
Before anyone decided on what to do the pain hit again. This time it was stronger and lasted longer. She wanted to rip apart something, anything to help her through the pain. All she could do was grip onto Sun's arm a groan through the pain.
Sun tried to comfort, but knew it was no use. The only person that could help her was Jack.
"You have to get Jack." Sun told Charlie.
"But he's in th-"
"I know. But she needs him.'
Charlie took a deep breath as he stared at Kate. She wasn't looking to either of them. She sat silent holding onto her stomach. He felt so bad for her having to go through this like she was. He almost began to cry seeing a tear fall from her face to sand. He knew what he had to do.
"I'll be right back." He said as he began out of the tent.
Before he did, he stopped and squatted down in front of Kate.
"It's going be ok." He assured her with a smile.
Then he got up and hurried out of the tent. Racing down the beach as fast as he could.
It wasn't very long until he came back. His head hung as he walked in. The instant Sun and Kate saw him they knew something was wrong.
"Where is he?" Kate asked her voice horse from coughing.
As he looked up they saw the tears in his eyes.
"He…he didn't make it." He whimpered.
In an instant Kate broke down. She crumbled. Sun quickly took her in her arms and held her close as she cried.
"What about Sawyer?" Sun asked.
"He's fine."
Kate froze and looked up to Charlie for an explanation on how that was even possible.
"He made it out on his own before Jack did. When they told him Jack was in there he went after him, but it was …it was too late."
Kate closed her eyes as she continued to cry. She was completely and utterly lost. She couldn't even comprehend what Charlie was saying. She couldn't believe that Jack was dead. She couldn't until she saw it for herself.
Without words she came to her feet.
"I want to see him."
"Kate I don't thi-"
"I don't care what you think. I want to see him." She growled.
They didn't stop her as she pushed past Charlie and walked out onto the beach. Walking out after her they stood close knowing once she saw what happened she would loose it.
She traveled slowly across the beach. The whole time she cried silently to herself. She wasn't going to let herself believe he was dead. She couldn't. But once she came walking up the truth hit her hard.
All eyes were on her as she approached the scene. It was silent as she walked through the crowd to his body. The moment she saw him she fell to her knees. Everyone jumped up and went for her, but realized it was best to leave her alone.
Her eyes wondered over the sight before her. Him lying there nearly burnt completely black. She couldn't tell the difference between his skin or his clothes it was so bad. Then she looked to his face. His lips were hung open and his eyes were shut. All she wanted to do was reach out and touch him. Maybe he'd wake up if she touched him, she thought.
As her fingertips ran over his rough skin she stared at his eyes begging him to open them. He didn't. The moment she realized that she grabbed the side of his face and wouldn't let go. The realization of it all took over. Tears came as she broke down. Leaning over him she rested herself up against his body as she cried.
Tears fell from everyone's faces as they watched her. Lying there gripping him and holding him close to her. Her shrieks filled the air causing some too look away. It was too much. Too much for them. Too much for her.
Sun turned away too see Sawyer sitting in the sand closest to the dimming fire. His body covered in blackness like Kate and Jack's. She felt good for once to see him. Knowing Kate still had somebody it put her at ease, but still she worried knowing Kate was in labor as she clung to Jack.
Slowly she walked over to him. His eyes wondered up to her as she approached him. She took a deep breath as she crouched down in front of him.
"She needs you right now."
"She's not going to want me right now." He whispered looking over to her still lying there with Jack.
"She went into labor Sawyer."
Sawyer's eyes snapped back to Sun.
"After Charlie and Jack pulled her from the fire-"
"Why was she in the fire?" He questioned.
"She went it after you two."
"Shit." He gasped running his fingers through his hair.
"Her contractions are really close together, which means she's going to have this baby tonight." Sun explained.
"And without Jack. She's gonna need you to be there."
"Then what are we waiting for?" He asked as he came to his feet.
He pushed through the crowd and slowly walked up to Kate. He tried his hardest not to look at Jack, but he couldn't help it.
Thoughts ran through his mind as he sat next to her. He didn't know what to say or what to do. He was actually more scared of what she was going to do. But she was in labor and she didn't need to be there.
"Kate." He whispered.
She didn't move.
"Kate you need come with me back to your tent."
"I can't have this baby without him." She cried.
"Yes you can. I'm going to be right there with you." He said trying to convince her.
"No."
He sighed with aggravation. She wasn't going to listen.
"You don't want to have this baby out here in the sand do you?"
Her eyes opened and she looked up to him. She was taken back by his blackened face, but was some how comforted by look in his eyes. Seeing him sitting there trying to get her to come with him told her he was serious. She knew she had to go with him.
Nodding her head she slowly pulled away from Jack. Looking back down to him she sniffed back her tears. It felt wrong to leave him, but she had to. Sawyer was right she couldn't have this baby in the sand. Quickly leaning down she left a kiss on his lifeless lips. Brushing her hand down his chest she pushed herself away.
Sawyer came behind her and helped her up. As they got to their feet they saw Charlie and Sun standing by ready to take her back to the tent. Slowly her and Sawyer began to walk across the sand. Closing her eyes she let her feet drift along with Sawyer's guidance. She didn't have the willpower to care where she was going.
Feeling Sun and Charlie next to her, she opened her eyes to see she was close to the tent. Taking a deep jagged breath she looked over her shoulder back to where Jack's body lay. She became choked up again as she watched Michael and Locke walk up to him with a tarp in their hands. She stared back at his motionless body until the draped the tarp over it. Still that didn't turn her eyes. She only turned away as she was lead wearily into her tent.
The next two hours were a blur to Kate. A mix between pain and overwhelming sorrow. She was on the verge of giving up. Her body ached, but her heart ached more. She couldn't get her mind around the fact that he was gone. It was hell for her to look up and not see him. She was terrified of what was going to happen.
She was so out of it. Her mind wasn't working right anymore. All she saw was images of Jack. His lifeless body. She soon lost the fact that was having a baby.
"Push!"
She didn't acknowledge it. She didn't hear their commands. She could barely feel the pain of the baby pushing it's way out. She didn't acknowledge anything until she felt a body in her arms.
Slowly her mind pushed back into reality and her eyes wondered down to arms. There lay her child, but something wasn't right. It didn't move. It didn't cry. Its eyes were closed. She looked up from the child to the three before her for some kind of answer.
Charlie sat with his head lowered. Sun couldn't even look at her. Turning to Sawyer she saw the dread on his face as he fought away tears. He shook his head as he moved over to her.
"I'm sorry Kate." He whimpered looking away from her to the baby.
"I'm so sorry." He said looking up to her again as his own tears fell from his eyes.
Kate looked back to the baby in her arms. It just lay there so still, so perfect. Her body began to shake without her noticing. Her eyes welled up as she took the baby's small hands in hers. She was so in enamored of this child. She couldn't turn away. Not even when she felt Sawyer take her into his arms.
Staring down at body in her arms she began to sob uncontrollably. She didn't understand why this was happening to her. First Jack, now her child. At that moment she felt so angry with Jack. He lied to her. Everything he said was a lie. She was alone now even as she lay in Sawyer's arms.
She saw Sun get up out of the corner of her eye. She slowly came over and sat down next to her. Kate couldn't look up to her. She couldn't look away from the baby. But once the emotions and her tears became too much she closed her eyes hoping it would all go away.
The moment she closed her eyes she felt the weight of the baby being lifted from her arms. They were taking in away from her the way they took her away from Jack. She didn't want them taking it. She wanted to hold it forever in her arms.
Wrapping her arms around it she suddenly felt nothing but air. It was too late. They had already taken it from her. As her arms crashed down upon her chest she began to open her eyes thinking she'd see them before they took it completely away from her. But once she opened them all she saw was darkness.
Her heart began to race as she question what was going on. She saw no one. Not Sawyer, Charlie, or Sun. Just total darkness.
Where was she?
She lay where she was for a moment as everything that happened rushed through her mind. Slowly sitting up her eyes focused on what was around her. She saw her clothes, some baby toys, and then the crib.
She was in the caves.
In and instant her hand and eyes came to her stomach. She was overjoyed yet confused when she saw that she was still pregnant. At first she thought there was no way this was happening. She remembered it all to vividly. The fire, the heat, the fear, then Jack dying, her given birth, and her holding that lifeless child in arms. It was all too real.
It was a dream. All of it was a dream. No it wasn't a dream, she thought. It was a nightmare. A horrifying nightmare she was having trouble getting over.
Dwelling on it she looked around and felt for once comforted by the rocky walls that surrounded her. But soon she became fearful again. Jack wasn't there. She wanted to let herself panic. She wanted to let herself become fearful and unhinged. But she didn't. She knew she couldn't do that. She couldn't let herself worry knowing he was probably right outside the cave perfectly alive and ok.
Getting up she almost raced out. She was comforted to see that everyone was lying asleep in his or her usual places. Her eyes wondered over each one of them. Silently thanking God they were there. But once she looked up and saw him sitting next to the waterfall she couldn't help but become over whelmed.
"Jack." She called out in a quivering voice.
Hearing her voice he stood.
"Kate?"
She said nothing as she jumped over the bodies that lay between them. Walking up, she threw herself upon him and wrapped her arms around him. For a moment he didn't know what to do, but then instinct kicked in and he wrapped his arms around her. The minute she felt his hand on her back she began tremble.
Pulling him closer she held onto him tight. She didn't want to let go. His smell and his breath overwhelmed her. Feeling his arms around her she began to cry.
"Kate?" He questioned pull back from her.
"What's wrong?"
She was crying so hard she couldn't talk. Without her words he could make a pretty good guess as to what was wrong.
"Another nightmare?"
Nodding her head she wiped away her tears. Again she said nothing as she pulled him back into her arms.
"It's ok." He tried to assure her as he held her close to him.
The two stood for a while in each other's arms. None of the others flinched as she sobbed uncontrollably on his shoulder. He was silent as he let her cry thinking it was best for her to let it out. Once she calmed down he led her back to the cave were she proceeded to tell him what happened.
"It was so real Jack." She continued.
"I mean I saw you're body laying there. You were dead."
"Well I not.' He spoke up rubbing her back.
She looked up to him from the daze she had with the ground. The small smile on his face reassured her more than his words ever could. Gazing at him she couldn't help, but let a smiled creep over her face.
"I'm here." He reminded her.
Taking a deep breath her smiled faded.
"I know that, but I can't shake the feeling."
"It was so real." She whispered lowering her head.
She had had nightmares before, but nothing like this. He could tell it affected her more than the others had. She had almost believed he was dead along with the baby. It was a scary thought even to him, and he couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like for her.
"You know what?' He asked coming to his feet before her.
Her eyes slowly wondered up to his. She couldn't make them out in the darkness, but she knew they held an honest look.
"I think you need to get away from the caves. Me and you should go to the beach." He suggested.
"Now?" She questioned.
"Yeah."
"Jack it's not the sun isn't even up."
"I know. I thought maybe we could watch the sunrise." He said as a smile took over his lips.
"I don't think I've seen the sunrise here."
"It's really is really beautiful."
She sat for a moment thinking about it. It didn't sound like a bad idea. And maybe it would help her to get away for a while. Ease all the thoughts.
"Ok." She agreed.
"Come on then." Jack exclaimed taking her by the hand.
Standing next to him, he pulled away. Gathering their things in his bag he pulled it over his shoulder. Heading out behind her, they quietly made their way around the bodies lying scattered amongst the cave floor. Coming to the beginning of the trail and the end of the caves they stepped into the jungle. To the beach was where they were going hopefully to escape.