Sorry this on took so long. I juts didn't have anytime. I also cut i down, but put what i didn't add into the next chapter. So don't owrry (Smiles) As always thank you all so much! Without you guys watching Lost would be quiet boring. Hope you enjoy!

Lost in Parenthood

"Shhh."

Kate tried her hardest to clam Nicholas down. With near six weeks since he was born he hadn't change in his fussiness and unwillingness to give he a break. Bouncing him in her arms as she walked around the caves. It almost was becoming numbing to her as she went into her third day without sleep. This sudden fit that he had burst into was keeping her from even sitting down to rest.

"Come on Nicholas." She pleaded with him.

As if on cue he began screaming bloody murder. Squalling and yelling for something Kate didn't understand. It aggravated her knowing she did everything she thought would help and yet he still cried.

"Please." She whined adjusting him in her arms.

He didn't stop. He continued pulling at Kate's fallen hair begging her for something. Taking a hold of his hand she yanked her hair away from him with force. It wasn't the best thing to do. He yelled out as if he was in pain. It quickly turned everyone's stares towards her.

A sudden hand upon her back nearly made her jump. Spinning around full force with Nicholas held tight against her, she came to see Jack. His eyes went wide as he saw her. Her body disheveled and worn. Her hair thrown about. She looked exhausted. Then he looked down to Nicholas who stopped for a second as his eyes caught Jack, but soon he went back to crying.

"What's wrong?" Jack questioned looking down to Nicholas.

"I don't know." Kate cried turning away from Jack.

"That's the problem."

He noticed her trying to hide herself from him. Still he kept close to her. Looking back and forth between her weary face and Nicholas' pleading one.

"Is he hungry?"

"Nursed him five minutes ago."

"Has he had his diaper changed?"

"Yes. Right after I fed him."

"Had he had a nap?"

"Yes Jack!" She snapped looking up to him.

He was quickly put off by her fierceness. She had to be jumpy and put off front the sleep he knew she was lacking. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her sleep or even sit down.

"I've done everything and he won't shut up." She whispered, as her voice suddenly became horse from the tears rolling down her cheek.

"Hey it's ok." He tried to assure her in a low gentle voice as he brought his hand to her back.

"Not it's not!" She snapped again as she pulled form his grasp.

"He's screaming an crying and I don't know what he wants!"

She began to walk around again bouncing Nicholas against her body. Trying all she could to get him just to calm down. And Jack was right behind her. Keeping his eyes on her and Nicholas. He was so close his breath was on her neck and that just added to the aggravation she was feeling.

"Could you just leave me alone?" She questioned glancing up to him.

"No."

She slowly pulled her gaze away from him and turned. Slowly walking away she waited for him to give up and walk away, but that was false hope. He was up on her back again looking over her shoulder. It was more then aggravating feeling his hard breath on her neck. And along with it Nicholas' crying was becoming erratic. She couldn't take it anymore. It all came down on her as Jack reached for her arm.

"Jack, just please go away!" Kate yelled loud enough for her voice to echo over the cave walls.

Nicholas followed suit and began to cry louder.

"Shh. It's ok. It's ok-" She tired again to comfort him.

"Give him to me." Jack demanded in a gentle tone.

Kate closed her eyes that were smudged with dry tears. Feeling Nicholas' weight lifted from her body made her feel powerless. It almost hurt her to look up to Jack cradle Nicholas in his arms against his chest. It was a sort of separation anxiety. In the sixth weeks he had been alive she barely let him out of her sight let alone let anyone else hold him. There were a few instances, but Nicholas barely left her arms. She was scared of him being taken away.

Almost the instant he was in Jack's arms he calmed down and settled.

Kate stared up at him with wide eyes of frustration.

"How'd you?"

Jack looked up of from Nicholas to her. He quickly saw the frustration in her eyes.

"He feels you're restless…" He began turning back to Nicholas who cooed as he began to suck on his thumb. He was now content.

"If you're restless, he's restless." Jack finished in a whisper as Nicholas closed his eyes.

"Well I guess you know everything don't you?" Kate snapped.

Jack looked back up to her. With the way she stood and stared at him, he could tell her body was fighting her. She needed to rest.

"Come on." He said.

"What?"

"Come on." He repeated grabbing her by the arm with his free hand. With that he pulled her away from her lonesome spot and began to lead her towards her and Nicholas' cave.

They came into the cave. Walking her over to her bed, he let go and gently pushed her down to where she sat on its edge. With a deep exhale upon his hand sge up to him. His look was stern as he hand came back to cradle Nicholas as he began to stir.

"You're going to sleep. And I'm going to watch him." Jack announced as his eyes went back to Nicholas.

"But Jack, what if he gets hungry? What if he needs me? What if-"

"No what ifs. You need to rest and you'll do if I have to make you. Remember when two days after he was born and I hadn't slept?" He questioned looking back down to her.

She rolled her as she looked away from his aggravated stare. She wasn't in the mood for him to be lecturing her. He did have a point, but it was bigger point that she didn't have the patience for it.

He could see her stubbornness as she tried to avoid him. He wasn't going to let her.

"I don't want you doing this to yourself or to him." He finished as his eyes shifted back and forth between the two people he loved most.

"What if-"

"If it happens I will bring him to you. Then you'll go back to sleep and sleep till you are rested."

Slowly she turned her head and looked up to him. The look in his eyes send an odd feeling through her body and when he tried to comfort Nicholas with the most gentle soft tone as he started to move around against him, Kate held hard not to lose it. It was if in that moment it clicked in her head. Seeing him take Nicholas' tiny hand around his finger as he whispered hope to him, tore her apart and she gave up.

"Ok." She whispered as her voice became shaky with tears.

Jack's eyes immediately took her hearing her sniff her tears back. He knew she finally saw it and she was going to listen. Even though that made him happy, he still felt bad.

"Good." He whispered back with a small smile.

Helping her the best she could with a baby in his arm, he got her to lie down. Pulling a blanket up to her waist, turned to her side and looked up to him. She stared into his eyes intensely trying to keep them open. Slowly she looked down to Nicholas. Watching him try his hardest to pull Jack's finger into his mouth.

"He'll be ok. I promise." Jack said seeing her attention on Nicholas.

"He's in good hands."

"I know.' Kate smiled.

With a yawn she closed her eyes and fell fast asleep. A smile appeared on Jack's face seeing her body come over with ease. It did him good to see her finally resting. He imagined this had to be what she felt like when he collapsed and finally got to sleep. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by Nicholas' sudden scream.

He looked down to him and saw him fighting again to get Jack's finger in his mouth. Jack had to shake his head holding back a chuckle as he again pulled at Jack's finger. When he couldn't quite make it reach he screamed out again.

"Shhh. Mommy's sleeping." Jack said as he gave in and let the child suck on his index finger. He quickly shut up.

With a sigh of relief with both Nicolas and Kate content, he turned back to Kate. Leaning over he left a kiss atop her forehead. Pulling back he stared at her for a long moment. Watching her breathe. Then holding Nicholas tightly, he came to his feet. Before he walked out he looked back over his shoulder to make sure she was still sleeping.

"Sweet dreams." He whispered before he turned back and walked out with Nicholas in his arms.

Coming out into the caves he carried on with Nicholas in his arms. Then he came to realize he needed to go to the beach and get some things done. He wondered how he was going to manage with Nicholas. He thought about waking up Kate, but quickly changed his mind knowing it wouldn't be right. So he was going to take him with him.

Gathering his things along with Nicholas, he slung his backpack over his shoulder. Walking through the caves quickly making sure everyone was occupied and ok, he checked in on Kate. She still ay there peacefully asleep. Again it put a smile to his face. Feeling ok with everything he looked down to Nicholas.

"Ready?" He asked.

Nicholas just looked up to him with big eyes.

"Ok." Jack smiled.

Pulling the strap of the backpack up on his shoulder he adjusted Nicholas in his. With a deep sigh he headed towards the entrance to the caves and out on the trail to the beach.

Not before long Nicholas was asleep in Jack's arm, which made him feel so much better. But at the same time meant he's probably be awake at the beach, which meant of course Jack would have to devote his whole attention to him. It all just made Jack's job much harder. He wasn't going to complain though; he didn't have it as bad as Kate. Plus he was looking forward to spending time with Nicholas.

Once they were less then 100 yards from the beach, Nicholas woke back up. Immediately he looked to Jack for some explanation as to what was going on. With a smile Jack looked him in the eyes.

"This is what I do for a living here…" He began.

"Besides all the doctor stuff back at the caves."

Nicholas reached up for Jack as if to tell him to continue. Jack again had to shake his head with a laugh. He felt as if he could tell Nicholas everything. All his secrets and faults, because Nicholas couldn't say anything to anyone. He could tell him what he really thought.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't a doctor or the leader like everyone has made me out to be…."

"Then I look to your mommy and it's all worth it every time. And now with you I don't even think twice. For some reason I just want to make everything safe and better for you." He smiled looking down to Nicholas as he hung onto his every word in a daze.

"I love you and your mommy very much and I'll do anything for you two."

Jack hadn't noticed he was on the beach until he looked up. He was so into the one sided conversation he was having with Nicholas. Almost instantly when he stepped out form under the jungle's tree canopy Nicholas let out a loud noise that turned into a cry.

"Shhh it's ok." Jack tried to comfort him as he rocked him back and forth in his arms.

It was no use He continued to cry

Jack didn't know what was the matter. Earlier it was easy to see he was unhappy with Kate, then he wanted something to suck on, now Jack didn't know what he wanted. He didn't know what was the matter.

He quickly looked around searching the beach for something, anything to calm him down. His eyes quickly locked with the ocean and it's roaring waves. Maybe it could work, he thought. The waves always calmed him down.

Walking across the sand he looked to each person he passed. They all either gave him looks of confusion or happiness. The happiness was obvious, but the confusion was from the fact that no one had really seen Jack let anyone, but Kate hold him. It was weird to him as it was them.

Coming to the surf he took Kate's approach and kicked off his boots. Waiting fro the surf to retreat he dug he feet into the damp sand.

"There we go." He smiled as Nicholas became quiet.

It was a few moments of peace as the two of them stared out over the water. But it didn't last. He started out fussing and then began to cry.

"What is it?" Jack questioned looking down to the squalling infant.

"What's the matter?" He asked holding Nicholas before him.

He stared him over before placing him back in his arms. He began to rock him back in forth as his eyes turned him back to the ocean. His mind wondered over everything him and Kate had done to calm him down. Singing immediately popped into Jack's mind. Although it wasn't something he did, he was willing to do anything at that point to get Nicholas to stop crying. He remembered how Charlie had sang some Driveshaft songs to him the night before to get him to go to sleep, but Jack didn't know any of them. His mind wondered over what was sung to him as a little kid.

He looked back down to Nicholas as he continued to cry and struggle against him. Seeing Jack, his eyes quickly became wide and attentive as he cried waiting for something. Jack took a deep breath slowly closing his eyes.

"Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, silly willy old bear. Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, cuddly little- stuffed with- fluff."

Nicholas started up again hearing Jack's obvious mistakes in the song. He also knew Jack was nervous. And he was. From trying to calm down a child that wouldn't calm down to having to sing songs from his childhood, it wasn't going to well.

His mind again wondered for a song a Nicholas continued to cry. So many lyrics ran through his mind all jumbled together. One stuck out. Another deep breath.

"You are my sunshine my only sunshine. You make me happy when skied are gray."

Slowly with each note of Jack's voice butchering the song, Nicholas settled down. He was almost completely silent and still, but Jack was going to make sure.

"You'll never know dear how much I love you. So please don't take my sunshine away."

Jack drew the last note out as Nicholas closed his mouth and his lids wavered shut. Jack was completely still as he let his voice hum out. His eyes never moved from Nicholas. Waiting a few minutes he hoped he was asleep. Seeing no movement and hearing no sound, Jack eased him back into his arms.

His hope quickly shattered as Nicholas' head touched the inside of Jack's elbow. He began to whine. Jack lowered his head in defeat.

"Come on Nicholas." He winded himself as he tried to move Nicholas back into the position he had been.

Still he cried and struggled in Jack's embrace. There was only one thing Jack could do.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me-"

He stopped seeing Sun walk up out of the corner of his eye. He almost didn't look over knowing the look she probably had on her face. When he did she was looking up to him with a smile.

"You have a lovely singing voice." She said as her grin became bigger.

"Yeah…" Jack blushed looking back to the fussy child in his arms.

"He doesn't seem to like too much."

"He's gotten so big." She smiled gazing over Nicholas as his eyes instantly became attached to her.

After sniffing back his current tears, he took a deep breath and began to cry again. Jack couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"And fussy."

"Yeah." Jack chuckled shaking his head.

Sun couldn't help but became enamored with Nicholas. Fussy or not. He was so cute and so innocent. It warmed her heart.

"I found something that might calm him down." She announced looking back up to Jack.

"Oh yeah?" Jack questioned instantly perking up with the possibility of him claming down.

His intrigue pulled him away from the surf. It quickly got the beat of him as he followed her up the beach.

They came to her tent where Jin was not far away working on building something with Michael. Jack stopped and watched her with curious eyes as she walked over to a makeshift pot hanging over the fire. Picking up tong shaped utensils she had obviously made, she stuck them into the water.

Jack waited patiently with a still fussy Nicholas as Sun took something into her hand. Grabbing a towel that was hanging near by she wiped whatever it was off. With a smile she walked up to Jack and put out her hand. Opening it Jack came to see a pacifier in the palm of her hand.

A smile came over his face as he took it from her. He looked it over before looking up to her.

"You found this?" He questioned with a furrowed brow

"Yeah. Thought you could use it."

"Well let's see." Jack grinned as he lowered it to Nicholas.

Running over his small quivering lips he let him feel it. He waited for a minute to see if he would take it. As if on cue, Nicholas opened up his mouth and wrapped his lips around the rubber. Pulling into his mouth with his tongue he began to suck on it. He was instantly quiet.

"Thank god." Jack sighed.

"You're a saint." He said looking to Sun.

"Oh it was nothing." She blushed.

"No you don't know what this means."

"Well I do have something else that you can have for him. If you want it?" Sun smile with a raised eyebrow as she turned.

Jack didn't think twice. Anything that helped as much the pacifier was he would take. He and Kate needed all the help they could get. He thought maybe she had made a mobile of some sort to keep him entertained. What she came out of her tent with put him at a loss for words.

"A car seat?"

"Uh huh. Michael found it in with the luggage." Sun said nodding her head as she put it down in the sand in front of Jack.

Jack bent over best he could with Nicholas now content in his arms. He looked it over and checked it out. Besides the seat belt being burnt off and a few cracks here and there it was perfect.

"Thank you." Jack expressed looking up to her.

"I mean it thank you." He said again as he came to his feet an embraced her in a hug.

"Anything for you and Kate, and of course him." Sun smiled running her finger over Nicholas' pudgy cheek.

Taking a hold of the handle on the car seat, Jack wandered over to where he was supposed to be all day sorting things. Setting the seat down in the sand, Jack squatted down to put Nicholas down in it. Brining his hand to the back of he head he began to lower him till he saw Sawyer walk by.

His stare quickly came to Nicholas. His eyes were wide and suddenly heavy as he stared down at him. And it was constant as he walked on to his tent. Jack wandered for a minute about whether or not he could leave Nicholas with Sawyer for a while. He didn't like the idea of dumping Nicholas off on anyone, but Sawyer was his father as was he and he hadn't seen him in such a long while. It'd probably be good for the both of them.

Settling on it, he put Nicholas back in has arms as he stood. Bending down he picked up the car seat and headed towards Sawyer's tent. Coming to the entrance he peered in feeling somewhat that he would find Kate in there kissing like last time he had just walked in. Instead he found Sawyer walking around searching through the many suitcase and bags he had lying around. Jack doubted if any were actually his.

"Hey doc." Sawyer smirked seeing Jack stand there.

"Sawyer.' Jack said waking into the tent.

Sawyer's eyes went to Nicholas immediately. Seeing the small boy with the fuzz of hair on his head and the freckles on his nose peaking out over the top of the pacifier made him feel weak.

"To what do I owe this honor?" He asked turning away as looking at him became too hard.

"I was wondering if you could watch him. So I could get some things done out on the beach."

Sawyer's heart snuck to his stomach. That was the last thing he wanted at that moment. To be alone with the child that was supposablly his son. The child that lowered his emotions to that of a pregnant woman. He didn't think he could do it.

"Where's Kate?"

"She's sleeping. Back at the caves. She's been up with him for three strait days. I took him off her hands." Jack explained.

"And now you want to put him on me?" Sawyer questioned flashing Jack a grin.

He hoped his cheep shot would throw Jack off to his deep insecurities.

"I really need someone to watch him and you're the only on I trust."

"You trust me?" Sawyer questioned as he brow furrowed.

"Yeah. I mean you are his father or possib-"

"Yeah. Yeah. I know."

There was a sudden odd tension between the two. The question of the father had always loomed over them, but this was the first time they had said anything to one another.

"So will you?" Jack asked.

Sawyer looked from Jack down to Nicholas. Who stared up at him with his odd bluish green eyes as if he was pleading with him. He couldn't say no.

"Yeah." Sawyer sighed lowering his head.

"Thanks.' Jack smiled.

He took charge. Walking past Sawyer he set down the car seat on Sawyer's bed. Pushing the handle back he slowly lowered Nicholas into the seat. Standing up he looked down to him in a daze. It was one he couldn't even pull away from as Sawyer walked up behind him.

"Kate's already nursed him. He's napped off and on."

He slowly looked back to Sawyer who too was in a daze with Nicholas.

"And he seems to be fine if you keep the pacifier in his mouth. If it happens to fall on the ground or anything don't put it back in his mouth. Go give it to Sun she'll know what to do. And it-"

"I got it!" Sawyer exclaimed.

He was tried of the rules and he restrictions already.

"I think I can handle the little guy."

Jack stared into Sawyer's eyes for a moment. As if to size him up. To make sure he was going to take care on Nicholas. Not that he didn't trust him, it was just that it was Sawyer."

"All right." Jack sighed turning back to Nicholas.

With a smile he picked him back up into his arms. He almost didn't want to let him go or sit him down.

"I'll see latter buddy." He smiled kissing Nicholas on the forehead.

"Have fun." He said handing him off to Sawyer.

As like the first time he held him, Sawyer was extremely careful. Cradling his head as he pulled him to his chest. He wanted to sort of prove himself. But still he didn't know what to do with this small life in his arms. He had never been around babies before.

Jack waved bye to Nicholas before turning and walking back out to beach. He left Sawyer standing there. Holding Nicholas tightly in his arms as to make sure not to drop him. He almost wanted to call after Jack and tell him to forget it, but then again it might not be that bad. Looking down to him he was completely lost.