Rest In Pieces
Rating- R: language, subject matter
(Author's note: This may very well be the only Mukuro fanfic on this website. She's a cool character and needed to do her some justice since no one seems to like her. If you haven't figured it out already this story is M+H. Please no flames or lynch-mobs, I have nothing against K+H. I just wanted to use this rabid plot bunny before it gnawed off my hand. I thought of it after listening to a 'Saliva' song titled 'Rest'. The plot is mostly angst. Enjoy. ^^)
*apply all disclaimers here*
Ch.1
*would you find it in your heart
to make this go away
and let me rest in pieces
let me rest in pieces*
The sting, the sting of freedom. The delicious pain of knowing you were rid of what bound you in that existence. She knew what that felt like. Was the suffering worth what she gained...or was it lost? If she allowed you the chance to inquire her about it she would say yes. Being alive and able to do nearly whatever she pleased was worth destroying half her physical self. Except as she poured the melting liquid over the body, that beautiful body her father admired so very much, it scalded deeper and ate a part of her soul away. The same part that acknowledged the ability to truly care for others. Love was a distant stranger and one she would never meet. The particular love her father presented to her when she began to blossom gave her shivers when remembered. His death brought joy into what was left of her heart, triumph that the object of her enslavement had perished. However the damage was already done. Her scarred shell was what remained of her terrible beginning. One side of perfection, the other of melted candle wax covered in metal.
Since she escaped her goal had been to reach a position where physical appearance had no grounds. Power, that was this particular group's equivalent of beauty, and thus she wasn't lacking. No one noticed enough, or at least no one was brazen enough, to criticize her to her face for it. There were always the shallow cowards who would talk when she couldn't't hear them, whispering to each other how hideous it was. She could rip the truth out of every mind who'd caught a glimpse of her and find out, but there was no satisfaction in forced interrogation in those cases. It was not worth the effort. None of them knew about her past, it was none of their business. The few who did have the privilege of knowing didn't care. She had chosen one individual for that very reason. The young three-eyed fire demon. His past was a tangle of regrets and tragic laments. His own race labeled him 'The Forbidden Child' and cast him out. Still he possessed a determination to survive, though that need had left him when Mukuro decided to pit him against her former second-in-command. At that point he would have been content to die, but she had chosen for him. She wanted him to live, and live with her. It felt better having a kindred spirit nearby. Many times she'd given him the chance to leave, and he would, but then he always came back after awhile. If she still had the ability to feel happiness when he returned she would call it that, but the closest she got to it was feeling peaceful. It was not a happy peace, but it wasn't rage or hatred. She had felt too much of that in the past and grew tired of it quickly. There were moments when that same rage would return, but it never lasted and she went back to being subdued. Hiei had once referred to it as the 'calm before the storm', she had laughed at his serious use of a human phrase.
Despite all of her achievements in life Mukuro sensed something missing. It wasn't a material thing, she had plenty of those and they held no place in her half of a heart. Nothing could make the feeling depart. Then she realized, that after a thousand years her maternal instincts were unbarring themselves from the depths of her being. The lord felt the need to pass her knowledge into something she could create, but create with out the use of man-made materials. A child. For a while she considered it a temporary issue, one that would disappear, but the need grew worse. Her particular breed of demon did not go into heat, so that was ruled out as the cause of the problem. Was it simply for being female? She couldn't answer it.
She would sit alone, pondering how to fix her dilemma. Every time one solution would be left, and it wasn't the one she wanted.
Months went by and still the need remained. The lord was consumed by this one thing until those who were always around her began to suspect something was not right. When ever the fire demon completed a task and came to report in his mannerisms and the tone of his voice were laden with nervousness. It was true Mukuro had not been in the best of moods lately, it had even gone far enough that she lost her temper and yelled at one of her generals. She did not blame Hiei for being cautious. She had hurt him the last time she lost her temper. The lord actually missed how relaxed he usually was near her. Hiei was the only one who didn't tip-toe around Mukuro in fear of her hot blooded-ness.
He stood in front of her now, rigid and indifferent. Trying his best to show her complete neutrality on his face. She nodded at everything he told her, not saying a word in response. When he was finished he turned to leave.
"Hiei," Mukuro said his name, though unsure as to why she didn't want him to leave. Hiei looked at her waiting for the lord to speak.
"Nothing...never mind," she said quietly.
The fire demon nodded a little too fast then left closing the door behind him.
'Dammit, what was that?' Mukuro scolded herself,' I would never...'
She sighed and leaned back in her chair. Idly she put a hand underneath her stomach, clenching the fabric of her pants in a fist. A few minutes after she drifted off into a dreamless sleep, dreams at that point would be too dangerous.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
The red-headed lord was behaving oddly. Hiei noted this a few days before when he entered Mukuro's study. The older demon was completely oblivious to his presence and only glanced at him when he said her name. What was more disturbing to him during that incident was what she was doing. There should have been no reason for her to hold her stomach like she was in pain. As far as he knew Mukuro could not become ill, so then why?
Hiei shrugged to himself. No matter. If she chose to tell him that was her decision, not his. Except he couldn't help feeling concerned for her health. He felt obligated after she had saved his life, then given him a permanent place to stay.
'If she was at risk Mukuro would not hide it. But if not that...then what is it?'
Hiei frowned and glanced over his shoulder at her closed door,' She's a mysterious one..."
Rating- R: language, subject matter
(Author's note: This may very well be the only Mukuro fanfic on this website. She's a cool character and needed to do her some justice since no one seems to like her. If you haven't figured it out already this story is M+H. Please no flames or lynch-mobs, I have nothing against K+H. I just wanted to use this rabid plot bunny before it gnawed off my hand. I thought of it after listening to a 'Saliva' song titled 'Rest'. The plot is mostly angst. Enjoy. ^^)
*apply all disclaimers here*
Ch.1
*would you find it in your heart
to make this go away
and let me rest in pieces
let me rest in pieces*
The sting, the sting of freedom. The delicious pain of knowing you were rid of what bound you in that existence. She knew what that felt like. Was the suffering worth what she gained...or was it lost? If she allowed you the chance to inquire her about it she would say yes. Being alive and able to do nearly whatever she pleased was worth destroying half her physical self. Except as she poured the melting liquid over the body, that beautiful body her father admired so very much, it scalded deeper and ate a part of her soul away. The same part that acknowledged the ability to truly care for others. Love was a distant stranger and one she would never meet. The particular love her father presented to her when she began to blossom gave her shivers when remembered. His death brought joy into what was left of her heart, triumph that the object of her enslavement had perished. However the damage was already done. Her scarred shell was what remained of her terrible beginning. One side of perfection, the other of melted candle wax covered in metal.
Since she escaped her goal had been to reach a position where physical appearance had no grounds. Power, that was this particular group's equivalent of beauty, and thus she wasn't lacking. No one noticed enough, or at least no one was brazen enough, to criticize her to her face for it. There were always the shallow cowards who would talk when she couldn't't hear them, whispering to each other how hideous it was. She could rip the truth out of every mind who'd caught a glimpse of her and find out, but there was no satisfaction in forced interrogation in those cases. It was not worth the effort. None of them knew about her past, it was none of their business. The few who did have the privilege of knowing didn't care. She had chosen one individual for that very reason. The young three-eyed fire demon. His past was a tangle of regrets and tragic laments. His own race labeled him 'The Forbidden Child' and cast him out. Still he possessed a determination to survive, though that need had left him when Mukuro decided to pit him against her former second-in-command. At that point he would have been content to die, but she had chosen for him. She wanted him to live, and live with her. It felt better having a kindred spirit nearby. Many times she'd given him the chance to leave, and he would, but then he always came back after awhile. If she still had the ability to feel happiness when he returned she would call it that, but the closest she got to it was feeling peaceful. It was not a happy peace, but it wasn't rage or hatred. She had felt too much of that in the past and grew tired of it quickly. There were moments when that same rage would return, but it never lasted and she went back to being subdued. Hiei had once referred to it as the 'calm before the storm', she had laughed at his serious use of a human phrase.
Despite all of her achievements in life Mukuro sensed something missing. It wasn't a material thing, she had plenty of those and they held no place in her half of a heart. Nothing could make the feeling depart. Then she realized, that after a thousand years her maternal instincts were unbarring themselves from the depths of her being. The lord felt the need to pass her knowledge into something she could create, but create with out the use of man-made materials. A child. For a while she considered it a temporary issue, one that would disappear, but the need grew worse. Her particular breed of demon did not go into heat, so that was ruled out as the cause of the problem. Was it simply for being female? She couldn't answer it.
She would sit alone, pondering how to fix her dilemma. Every time one solution would be left, and it wasn't the one she wanted.
Months went by and still the need remained. The lord was consumed by this one thing until those who were always around her began to suspect something was not right. When ever the fire demon completed a task and came to report in his mannerisms and the tone of his voice were laden with nervousness. It was true Mukuro had not been in the best of moods lately, it had even gone far enough that she lost her temper and yelled at one of her generals. She did not blame Hiei for being cautious. She had hurt him the last time she lost her temper. The lord actually missed how relaxed he usually was near her. Hiei was the only one who didn't tip-toe around Mukuro in fear of her hot blooded-ness.
He stood in front of her now, rigid and indifferent. Trying his best to show her complete neutrality on his face. She nodded at everything he told her, not saying a word in response. When he was finished he turned to leave.
"Hiei," Mukuro said his name, though unsure as to why she didn't want him to leave. Hiei looked at her waiting for the lord to speak.
"Nothing...never mind," she said quietly.
The fire demon nodded a little too fast then left closing the door behind him.
'Dammit, what was that?' Mukuro scolded herself,' I would never...'
She sighed and leaned back in her chair. Idly she put a hand underneath her stomach, clenching the fabric of her pants in a fist. A few minutes after she drifted off into a dreamless sleep, dreams at that point would be too dangerous.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
The red-headed lord was behaving oddly. Hiei noted this a few days before when he entered Mukuro's study. The older demon was completely oblivious to his presence and only glanced at him when he said her name. What was more disturbing to him during that incident was what she was doing. There should have been no reason for her to hold her stomach like she was in pain. As far as he knew Mukuro could not become ill, so then why?
Hiei shrugged to himself. No matter. If she chose to tell him that was her decision, not his. Except he couldn't help feeling concerned for her health. He felt obligated after she had saved his life, then given him a permanent place to stay.
'If she was at risk Mukuro would not hide it. But if not that...then what is it?'
Hiei frowned and glanced over his shoulder at her closed door,' She's a mysterious one..."