Chapter twenty: Everything's Normal-ish

"So...let me get this straight...Asshole, drugged us up on this crap," Andy said hitting the Abnormality potion method in her hand, "And I was planning on marrying him?" she jerked her head in Pierce's direction. They were on their way to the common room to get all the Gryffindors to the hospital wing.

"If by asshole you mean Malfoy, then yep. You pretty much summed it up," Barry nodded.

"That little shit! Just wait till I get my hands on that, that, that..." she rolled up her sleeves and clenched her fists, to pissed off for words.

"Andy, do you really think you could take on Malfoy and his thugs?" Barry asked, eyebrows waved.

"Well, if I can't kick his ass, then I'm sure Lemo and Emo would help me. And of course Drew could help me with his beater bat..."

"I'll help pound the hell out of him!" Mione said flushed with fury.

"I wouldn't want to be Malfoy..." Pierce muttered to himself.

Madam Pomfrey sat in her office, waiting for the rest of the Gryffindors to show up. Suddenly she heard a peculiar noise coming from the corridor, it sounded as though something was being dragged along the ground. Pomfrey rose, in time to see Nick bum-shuffle in, she knew immediately he was one...

"Madam Pomfrey, Andy told me that there was a bum-shuffling competition being held here...She said I had potential!" Nick said, his chest puffing out in pride.

"Abnormality-kicks-ass." Pomfrey said raising her wand. Nick looked around, looking slightly startled,

"Madam Pomfrey...? Am I sick? Where am I here?"

"Don't worry dear; you're fine, head back up to your common room."

"Okay..." Nick said, still looking puzzled as he rose to his feet, as Andrew strolled in,

"Madam, I was told Professor McGonagall was terminally ill?" he looked absolutely terrified at the thought, clutching his photo of McGonagall.

"Abnormal le poulet?"

The sign floated above Andrew's head and Pomfrey cast the second spell. A few moments he just stood there like a stunned mullet,

"When did I get here?" he asked.

"Is he normal yet?" Andy's worried voice came from the corridor, before she poked her head into the room.

"Test him yourself," Madam Pomfrey suggested.

"Drew...what do you think of McGonagall?"

"McGonagall...?" he looked warily at Pomfrey, who suddenly became interested with a mud path on the floor, "Well...she's okay...but sometimes she came be a real bitch..."

"THAT'S THE BOYFRIEND I KNOW!" Andy exclaimed tearfully, as she leapt round the corner and flung her arms around him.

"Huh?" Andrew stood there, confused.

"What's that got to do with the price of fish?" Thomas asked as he entered the room, closely followed by Don,

"Floof pah koobahloo nicka noka flu," Don agreed nodding his head.

"What. The. Fuck." Andrew said looking at the pair, "What's up with them?"

"Don't worry; dear...I'm sorting it..." Pomfrey said waving her wand at Don and Thomas in turn.

"Was this some weird spell going around or something?" Andrew said with a look of extreme pain on his face, wait no...Perhaps he was just thinking hard...

"Yep," Andy said ruffling his hair fondly, "and you liked McGonagall, actually make that obsessed over McGonagall..."

"I was?"

"Yep, would've cheated on me with an old lady if you got the chance," Andy said giggling, "Look at the picture in your hand."

Andrew looked,

"ARGHHHHHHH! Where did I get that!"

"Good point, where did you get that?"

"My arse still hurts...I think it's bruised!" Complained Nick at dinner of a very long day. Madam Pomfrey had been working pretty hard on getting all the Gryffindors back to normal, so far nearly everyone had been 'normalised'.

"Well my arse would hurt too, if I had been bloody bum shuffling everywhere!" Lemo said as she reached for a chicken drumstick.

"You, were fucking scary too Lemo!" Barry said, so glad she was back to her old self, "We had to get Andy to change into similar clothes to you and tell you there was an 'educational debate on politics' in the hospital wing, before we could get you to go!"

"You did?" Lemo said in shock and shivered, "Just thought of it makes me itch..." As if to emphasize the point she began to itch her nose.

"Well, I don't know how Andy can still look me in the eye after what happened...I mean I was ready to give her up for our transfiguration teacher!"

"Forgive me for planning to marry Pierce and we're even," Andy said offering Andrew her hand.

"Deal," he said giving her a kiss on the cheek instead to seal the deal.

"Wow, you guys will never need couples counselling when you solve issues that easy..." Emo said with a laugh as she walked down the table, holding hands with Joel.

"Joey baby!" Lemo cried out.

"Uhh...hi Leah."

Lemo scowled,

"Hate that bloody name..."

"Yea, Joel came and waited outside the hospital wing for me," Emo said pretending to glare at Andy and Lemo.

"There was a predicted tidal wave in that corridor!" Lemo said in her defence.

"My boyfriend fell in love with an old lady, so of course I was hungry!" Andy said in her defence.

"Hey...! I thought we were going to drop that!" Andrew protested, "I don' think that's fair! You were going to mar-" he broke off as Andy shoved a carrot up his nose.

"I using it as an excuse doesn't actually mean I'm pissed or anything..." Andy muttered in his ear.

"And I needed a carrot up my nose because..."

"'Because you were hungry..."

Emo wrinkled her nose,

"You guys are still nuts..."

"Hey! You're not speaking French anymore!" Don exclaimed, then he spotted Jub at the Ravenclaw table, "JUBBY!" he cried.

"DONNY! YOU'VE STOP SPEAKING GIBBERISH CRAP!"

"YEP!" Then they both jumped from their places and ran to hug each other.

"Hey! That's not fair!" Lemo said slapping Barry on the back of the head, "When I became normal again, you didn't do anythi-WINSTON! There you are my baby!"

Barry rolled his eyes,

"Isn't it great when your girlfriend likes her vermin more than you...?"