I look at the metal, Then at the flesh
One simple strike, And it all washes away
In a world damned to hell there is no escape
Except this…
But do I dare? Do I dare take this drastic step?
To end it all! To take the ending blow?
The coward in me emerges as I cast the knife upon the floor. No! I dare not! I can't do it. No matter how much I would want to! The loneliness inside me must still see some hope.
I take the steel in my shaking hand once again.
I must! All the people I ever hurt.
All the things I've done. I can never give that back.
I place the weapon at the base of my arm near my elbow. I can't… No matter how many lives I've taken. I know this wouldn't do much.
Even taking one more life…
Though it's my own…
Killing myself would atone for all those I've taken
I could never repay my debt…
So it must be done…
I slid the knife across my arm. The skin barely breaking. I stuck again in the same place before. This time blood spilled down. I went up closer to my wrist. Cutting once again. If another man could see my eyes, he would know I was un-human. I couldn't be of this would.
A third cut graced my arm as a sadistic smile dance upon my face.
Yes! Just as before! When I saw their blood…
I lost control…
Didn't even know what I was doing…
I cut them countless times. Feeding off their screams…
Off their pain… And their blood…
The slayer Sango… And the Monk Miroku..
Yes I did it!
It fueled me to go on until their bodies lay motionless…
The ground & river stained with the fluid gold…
A laugh erupted from my dry throat as I sank down. I cut up my forearm and now I made it to the veins. I gazed at them long and hard. I swiftly drew the knife across. I smiled as the vital life flowed from me freely.
If you could have seen the demon I had become…
Yes I ogt as I wished, but at a price…
The families I destroyed, the children I took no mercy upon…
And the one I love…
How you would have hated me…
And yet the very thing I lived for…
Drove me to insanity…