Moments before stepping through the wormhole on Earth, Samantha Carter had also been having an internal debate. These last few weeks had been as hard on her, if not harder, as it had been on the Colonel. In so short a period she had lost the man she loved on an alien planet, possibly dead, and then after very nearly working herself to death on the off chance she might save him, she had had her heart broken. Not only had he dismissed her like some lowly drone after she had saved him but he had then changed into a man she couldn't recognize –blinded by greed, cruel and cold, a man who in a few short sentences had shattered her spirit and broken her heart.
It didn't matter that it had all been a ruse. It didn't matter that he had been following orders – he had broken orders for less. In her mind she knew he was the same man, who would stand by her, who would protect her but in her heart every thought of him was agony. He had destroyed not only her love but her opinion of her self. Convinced he saw her only as a duty and burden she had sworn a vow just moments before the cold of the wormhole had embraced her that she would never burden him again. He may not love her but he would respect her and whilst he may no longer want their friendship they still had chain of command. He was her commanding officer and though every fibre of her being was torn between slapping him and dissolving in his arms she would respect that chain of command for that was all they had left between them.