Maybe you'll get what you wanted
Maybe you'll stumble upon it
Everything you ever wanted in a permanent state
Maybe you'll know when you see it
Maybe if you say it you'll meant it
And when you find it you keep it
In a permanent state
White Shadows-Coldplay

After a long day at school all Peyton wanted to do was go home and sketch, but instead she had to straighten some things up at Tric. Tomorrow was all ages night and she had to stack up some records for the DJ play. She let out a sigh as she went through each record; she had never been so bored.

"Need some help?" She jumped when she felt someone tap her on her shoulder. She turned around to see a laughing Lucas.

"Very funny." She lightly hit him on his shoulder.

"You should've seen your face." He smiled as he watched her roll her eyes and turn back to looking through some records.

"I'm sorry. I just haven't seen you all day and I couldn't resist." He shrugged. This was the first time they had been apart for so long. He was so use to going up to her room making sure she was ready to go wherever that it seemed weird not seeing her.

"So how was your day?" She asked ready to change the subject. Asking him how his day went was a little strange. She was so use to being with him the whole day that she didn't have to ask, but now things were different. He was different and most of all she was different. Over the summer they were just friends, but now her feelings were involved and she didn't know what better to do than to just stay away.

"Not bad… what about you? You going to cheerleading practice on Thursday?"

"Well, my day doesn't suck so far and I'll be at cheerleading practice if I'll see you there." She was trying to make a deal with him to see if he was going to basketball practice. She knew about his heart condition, but she still didn't know if he could play or not. She still remembered the day when he told her.

They both sat there in silence for a while, just listening to the waves crashing. This was their second time coming back to that spot on the beach, that very spot where he had found her sitting there a couple of weeks ago. He had called her and told her to meet him there because he needed to talk. He didn't want to screw up their newfound friendship again by lying to her so he figured he'd better tell her the truth now.

She had been nervous when she hung up the phone all the way till this very moment. What did he need to talk to her about and why was it so important? She hated when he did things like this… when everything we be fine between them and then he had to go and throw things off track. She could say a simple thing and he would respond with something that would practically turn her world upside down.

"So Luke, what did you have to tell me?" She asked her voice barely above a whisper. She was almost too afraid to ask.

"Peyton I just wanted to let you know this now because I don't want to screw things up between us and because I trust you enough to tell you this, but you have to promise me you won't tell anyone." He never took his gaze off of the ocean and she noticed this.

She contemplated on what to say and soon realize that she really had no choice, "I promise."

"Good…" Right there he told her everything from Dan's accident to the truth about his heart. That he had the HCM. It was then when he finally took his gaze off of the ocean and set it upon her face.

She turned to face him, his eyes meeting her almost tear filled ones. She really didn't know what to say, but she couldn't judge him for his actions. She couldn't judge him at all. Sometimes you had to lie to the ones you loved to protect them.

"Are you ever going to be okay?" She managed to croak out, desperately trying to fight her tears that were about to fall.

"If I keep taking my medicine, which I told you ran out so I really don't know what I'm going to do." He admitted. There was no use lying to her, he just hated seeing her like this. He hated seeing her when she was sad or upset.

"I know what you're going to say, why didn't I tell you, but—"

"I'm not going to say that," She cut him off, "I wasn't going to say that at all. Lucas, I just—I can't blame you for not telling me—for not telling anyone. We weren't on such good terms anyway and if you told, everyone would probably walk around eggshells when they were around you… or judge you and I won't do that. I can't do that. Sure, I'm angry that you kept this to yourself all this time, but all I really care about right now is that you're going to be okay." She couldn't hold herself together any longer so she did the only thing that she thought was best she hugged him.

Just like the last time she clung on to him as she fought back tears. She just wanted him to be okay and on top of that she had her own confession to make. She just wished she were as brave as he was right now.

He hugged her back tightly as he rested his cheek on hers. This was what he needed. He was just so glad that he finally told someone and most of all that she didn't judge him.

"Thank you." He whispered as they still hugged. That was the only response he could think of and it was the only one that seemed to fit.

She nodded and pulled away, "Lucas." She sniffed as she felt his arms leave her waist. It was now or never.

"What?" He asked softly, not noticing the look of fear in her eyes.

"There's something I need to tell you, too…"

It was at that very moment where she told him about the drugs and just as she did he didn't judge her at all and she was grateful.

"Peyton did you hear what I said?" His voice broke her out of her thoughts.

"Huh?" She asked obviously not hearing a word he said.

"I said, yeah I'll be there. I'm going for a check up tomorrow to see if everything's okay." She nodded. She groaned at the fact that today was only Monday.

"Need some company?" She asked referring to his appointment.

He smiled, "Sure. I'd like that." He was glad that he would have someone to be there with him and he was glad it would be Peyton, given the fact that she was the only one that knew and he planned on keeping it that way. He didn't know why but when he wasn't with her he felt like a part of him was missing. They had grown so close over the summer it just didn't seem right without her.

"Great. Hey, can you put these in the back?" She gave him a box of the remaining records. Lucas being there kind of made her workload go faster.

"Sure." She watched Lucas disappear into the back before putting the box of records she had under the DJ booth. She was all done for the day.

She felt someone tap her on the shoulder again and was ready to yell at Lucas again.

"It's never funny the second time Luke." She stated as she turned around ready to meet the Lucas' laughing face.

"I'll be sure to tell him that the next time I see him." But instead was met with lying eyes of Elizabeth. The small smile that Peyton had on her face dropped and was replaced with an emotionless stare. She didn't want her there.

"What are you doing here?"

Elizabeth frowned at the cold tone of voice Peyton used, "Please don't be like this… I just wanted to see you."

"Yeah? Well you saw me and now it's time to say goodbye." She spat, not willing or ready to go threw this with the women who claimed to be her mother.

"Peyton I just want you to hear me out." Elizabeth pleaded and watched as she saw Peyton's face soften a little.

"You've got two minutes." She allowed.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing. I've tried getting in contact with you all summer and you've just been ignoring me—"

"Oh so you've noticed?"

Elizabeth ignored her comment and continued with that she had to say, "I just want to—"

"I didn't know exactly where to leave the boxes so…" His words slowed towards the end when he noticed the woman standing in front of Peyton.

"Oh," His face dropped a little, "I'll just come back when you're—"

"No. Stay." Peyton said firmly. She wasn't too sure if she could stand there, listen to Elizabeth, and not break into tears. She wouldn't believe anything she was saying. She couldn't. She wouldn't allow herself to. Why would she lie like that? Everything this woman was saying was a lie. It had to be.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" Elizabeth's lips curved into a smile, which Peyton saw as fake. Everything this woman was had to be fake.

She tried to shake all of the bad thoughts from her mind, but she couldn't. She was didn't like when people judged others and here she was doing the exact same thing herself. She was judging Elizabeth, but how could she not?

Peyton sighed, "His name is Lucas."

"Nice to meet you Lucas… I'm Elizabeth." She introduced herself and Lucas nodded. So this was Elizabeth the woman claiming to be Peyton's mother. She didn't really look like Peyton, well who was he to judge he had never seen Peyton's mother. Something about her didn't seem right or maybe it was his automatic defense for Peyton that made him feel like this.

"You were saying," All Peyton wanted to do was get this all over with and go home.

"I just want to get to know you that's all. I want to be apart of your life if you let me." That was it for Peyton she couldn't take it anymore.

"You just want to get to know me? You want to be apart of my life? If you really are my mother you would've been there, but instead you just ran away! It's a little too late now to be apart of my life, don't you think?"

"Peyton please." She pleaded.

"No. Just save it." Peyton didn't want to hear any of her excuses anymore.

"Peyton." She pleaded again.

"You need to leave."

Elizabeth let out a sigh there was really no use getting to her, "Here's my number—you can call me anytime when you're ready." She dropped a piece of paper on the table, turned around, and went out the door.

She stared at the number for a while and reluctantly put it in her pocket. If she would ever get in contact with her father she would show him this. The only way she would ever know the truth is if she got in contact with him.

"You okay?" She heard Lucas' soft voice.

He stood next to her and watched as she looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. He held out his arms and closed his eyes as she fell into them. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back as he heard her hushed sobs in his shirt. Having her in his arms again felt good… it felt right. He wished that he could do something to help her, to ease her pain, but he knew he really couldn't do anything except be there for her.

"How could she do this to me? What if—what if she's really my mom?" She muttered into his shirt as she continued to cry. She hated crying, but it was really the only thing she could do right now.

"It doesn't change how you feel about the one you grew up with does it?"

"No, but how could he lie to me like that?"

"We don't know if your father lied or not. If he did, I'm sure he had a good reason to." He said anything to stop her from crying and so far it was working. He couldn't blame her for being so lost and confused. If he were going through this he would probably feel the same way she did.

She sniffed and finally pulled out of the hug. She was glad Lucas was there for her, she was so glad. She couldn't do this alone. She needed him; she needed him so much now.

"You're right." She wiped her eyes and tried to regain her composure.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asked wanting to make sure she would be okay. He hated seeing her like this.

"No," She admitted, knowing that there was no use lying to him anymore, "But I'll manage."

He nodded, "If you need to talk you know I'm here."

She nodded and without another word they walked out of Tric. She wouldn't take his words for granted, not this time.

She walked up the steps to her bedroom and when she finally reached it she saw Haley lying on her bed reading a book. She smiled to herself happy that Haley was staying here with her. She liked having a big house all to herself, but at times it could get lonely. She was glad she had someone to share it with.

"Hey." She greeted and watched as Haley looked up from her book and made a move to get off the bed.

"No, it's all right—stay." She offered. Haley let out a small laugh and layed back down. She moved over as Peyton took a spot right next to her.

"No work at Tric?" Haley put her book down to the side and looked over at Peyton.

"Yeah there was, but it was only a little bit. What about you? Slow day at the café?"

Haley nodded, "Slow indeed… hey you look like you've been crying. You okay?"

Peyton was hoping Haley wouldn't notice, but of course she did. She had a way of seeing through people just like Lucas did.

"Yeah, but it was nothing." She tried to shrug it off, but Haley would have none of it.

"Elizabeth?" She asked, having a notion that that was the reason. She remembered clearly when Peyton had told her what happened a week ago.

She figured there was no use lying to her either, "Yeah. She tried to talk to me again this time—convince me to give her a chance, but I couldn't." This was a subject she really didn't like talking about. Every time the name Elizabeth was mentioned she felt like breaking down.

"Hey, don't worry everything will come around." She stated as Peyton leaned her head on her shoulder.

She looked up at her with big eyes like a frightened child, "You sure?"

"I'm sure." Haley laughed as she rested her head on top of Peyton's.

"Did you talk to Nathan yet?" Haley lifted her head up and watched as Peyton did, too. She sensed Peyton wanted a change of subject, but she hoped that it wouldn't be this.

"No not yet—we haven't spoken since he came back. He keeps on avoiding me and I don't blame him—what I did was horrible." Haley sighed, a part of her wished she could rewind her life back five months ago when things were simple and another part of her didn't want to do that at all. Singing was her dream; she loved it for as long as she could remember. Nothing matched the thrill of being up there on stage, singing your heart out, but something beat it. Her love for Nathan beat out that thrill, it's what made her quit the tour and come back to Tree Hill. In her mind she knew she should've stayed on tour, but her heart assured her that she made the right decision.

"It's not completely your fault. You were just following your dream, Hales. I probably would've done the same thing." Peyton offered some empathy to her friend. She knew Haley loved to sing and she knew Haley loved Nathan. In the back of her mind she knew their marriage wouldn't work in the beginning, but now she thought differently. Yeah, she still thought they got married too young, but they loved each other, they still did and sometimes that was all you needed. She didn't like that Haley left without an explanation, but sometimes that was what you had to do.

She looked at Peyton, "Really?"

"If I could sing like you can, of course!" They both started laughing.

"Thanks for letting me stay here Peyton. You're a good friend." She really meant that. The truth was other than Luke; Peyton had been like her best friend. Sure there was Brooke, but she wasn't really that close to her. Not just anyone would take a friend in like that, but Peyton did and she was grateful for that.

"It's no problem, Hales."

Lucas shrugged through the door of his house and was welcomed with a note on the door. He took it and read it. His mom was out grocery shopping and she would be back in an hour or two. The house was quiet so he suspected Brooke wasn't there. He looked around and dropped his bag on the couch, his new bed for the rest of the year. Having his room back over the summer was great—being back on the couch definitely wasn't. He layed down on the couch and contemplated turning on the TV or just falling asleep and right now although falling asleep seemed like a good idea something was keeping him up. The whole Peyton situation was keeping him up, the whole Brooke situation was keeping him up, even Nathan and Haley's situation kept him thinking.

"You know what your problem is?" Peyton asked him out of the blue as they lie on his bed looking up at the ceiling.

"What?" He asked, curious to figure out what she would say.

"You take up so much time trying to please everyone that you almost end up loosing yourself. Sometimes you have to just take life as it is." She looked over at him and waited for him to respond. She wasn't doing this to make him angry she was just being open with him. He had done the same thing to her a week ago.

"You're right."

He closed his eyes and thought about that conversation they had. She was right. He was always trying to please everyone. He had tried doing that last year and ended up loosing himself and everyone he cared about. He didn't want that to happen again. He just wished that he could help Peyton. He had gotten her to trust him now all he needed was for her to trust herself. With Brooke it was different, he didn't know how she felt about him, but he was pretty sure how he felt about her. He spent a whole summer without her, a summer where he gained new insight to his life and it was great. Now she was back and his feelings they weren't quite the same, not at all. He still appreciated her as a friend, but he was sure that was it. He just didn't want to hurt her again.

If she did have feelings for him and he declined he would be looked at as a liar and he was sure she would think it was because of Peyton. Peyton wasn't the reason at all, sure he was starting to feel a little more than just friendship for her, hell he felt like that the whole summer, but he was a different person now. He thought before he spoke now.

The door slammed and he rose up off the couch, expecting to see his mom.

"Hey, mom… that was fast." He sat up on the couch and watched as she came walking up to him.

"Oh, Brooke. It's you." He didn't really know what to say, this was really the first time they spoke since before the summer started.

Brooke took a deep breath, if she didn't do this now, she would never do it.

"Lucas, we need to talk." She stated firmly as Lucas looked down at the ground. It was the moment he had waited for and yet the moment he had dreaded. He had no choice but to talk.

Okay, this chapter was longer than the other. I hoped you guys liked it. Thanks for reading and reviewing: Laur, Ella, LPS3, and Amber. I'm a huge Coldplay fan myself so I guess you'll be happy to know that each chapter is kind of based on each song from X&Y. Next I'm looking towards Twisted Logic.