This chapter's going to be a tad looong, but I hope it's it's ok- (indeed, it is again the early hours of the morning, but with such threats of being poked and commiting unintended manslaughter I thought I'd best finish it tonight...)
Harry had fallen asleep before Ron had appeared that evening, and when he awoke the 'Chudley Cannons' blanket covering Ron's bed was untouched.
Krum shifted silently in slumber as Harry gently clambered onto Ron's bed to peer out of the window, hoping his prediction wouldn't be right. Unfortunately, it was. Lying on the grass, fully dressed with loud snores echoing around the garden, was Ron. With a groan, Harry sprinted from the room and lightly down the stairs. Daybreak was only just creeping up around the Burrow, and Harry was hoping nobody would be awake but himself.
A few minutes later, with several encouraging foot-proddings, Ron awoke and sat up quickly, wildly exclaiming- "How many eggs in the Butterbeer?"His unfocused eyes darted to Harry, then finally scanned his own, dirt-covered body.
"Ah." he said finally.
"Care to explain this?" Harry folded his arms sternly.
"You know, you sound so much like Hermio-" It appeared Ron's memory had suddenly caught up with him, "Ah." He repeated darkly.
"You do realise I hope, that in less than-" Harry checked his watch- "four hours, every relative you have will be ascending on this plot of land, and you currently resemble an enlarged garden gnome?"
Ron scowled, but merely indicated to Harry to help him up. It soon became apparent that the Cherub Ron kicked the previous evening had sought revenge in the night, and several small angelic arrows fastened Ron's trousers to the ground, excessively resistant to being removed.
"It's no use," moaned Ginny, who, having laughed for a solid twenty minutes together on discovering Ron, was now panting in exhaustion as she pulled at Ron's legs.
"There's no other option, we'll have to tear them off-" Harry said wearily, "I'll go get you another pair ready-"
"What! You can't do that in the middle of the garden- anyone could see!" Ron cried anxiously, clutching his trousers protectively.
"We can hardly leave you stapled to the ground, can we?" Ginny snapped, "Great wedding photo that would be, you trying to reach for a bit of cake whilst Aunt Muriel accidentally stood on you. It's your own daft fault for making an enemy of-" She fought hard to contain a smile," a chubby baby with feathered wings..."
"Oh shut up!" Ron snarled. "Alright- someone just block me from the house so no one will see, ok?" he said reluctantly as Harry returned with a fresh pair of grey trousers.
"I'll do it-" Ginny said, moving forward.
"No way! You're my sister- I don't want you seeing me in underwear!"
"Fine, I'll do it." Harry replaced Ginny, his patience waning.
"But you're my best mate, that'd be wierd!"
"Oh for goodness sakes" a third voice said exasperatedly, and Hermione appeared behind them all. "Don''t be so, so-squeamish Ron"
Before Ron could gasp a syllable of alarmed protest she raised her wand and yelled, "Silicio Separitum"
With a colossal ripping noise, strands of Ron's trousers peeled away from him, leaving startlingly bright orange boxer shorts. As soon as his legs were free Ron snatched his trousers from Harry and dived behind the bubbling fountain.
Ginny chuckled, Harry grinned, but Hermione turned a bright shade of red and said stiffly- "Well, we've wasted enough time out here- better help getting things organised..." and she turned quickly on her heels and stumbled back into the kitchen, looking oddly distracted.
"Is she gone yet?" squeaked Ron, his red ears appearing amidst the pink fountain,everything about himprojectinghumiliation.
The next few hours passed in a haze of rush, panic and Mr.Weasley hiding from his wife, who was so close to the point of madness trying to organise everyone that Harry quickly looked up a few sedative charms...just incase.
Ron was, though Harry hadn't thought it possible, in a more hostile mood than before. It seemed every female relative that arrived was drawn like a magnet to him, fussing over every element of his figure. By the time he managed to escape, Ron had,despite protests, received seven kisses on the cheek from various wrinkle-lipped Aunts and eight ruffles of his hair by proud second-uncles-twice-removed.
"I've never seen half these people before, but they just automatically fawn over me!" He said in disgust, trying to flatten his now statically flambuoyant hair. Ginny too, seemed to be attracting much unwanted attention by being a rare girl amongst a long line of brothers, and Harry could swear he saw her ignite Crookshanks tail deliberately so she had an excuse to escape the raptures of her Aunt Ethel.
Eventually by dusk, everyone was settled comfortably into the glistening crystal chairs which had suddenly filled the garden since Harry had last visited it. He was also astonished to find that over three hundred chairs had been slotted into a garden that only hours ago would barely have held fifty.
Wizards of every sort, varying in age and nationality filled each slot, and Harry gazed in wonder at such a strange asortment. With a slight scowl he saw Percy sneak into one of the back seats, but before he could mention it to Ginny (who was positioned innocently next to him by Mrs.Weasley's direction) there was a loud burst of a sweet, lulling tune which seemed to be coming from the swans. Before their eyes several examples of Fred and George's most ingenious firework concoctions exploded infront of them, and the doors to the archway right at the back of the garden swung open, revealing Bill and Fleur.
This was a slightly different procedure to Muggle weddings, as far as Harry could tell. For a start, Bill produced his Patronus, a giant bear, and sat on it's broad shoulders as he travelled down the aisle, with several cheers from their audience. Fleur then soared above their heads looking truly stunning in a long silvery gown that although she was ten feet up in the air trailed along the floor below. It was a true mark of Ron's bad mood that his eyes did not even widen slightly at the sight of her. The young Gabrielle followed, throwing flower petals everywhere, most of which were enchanted to remain floating- consequently resulting in Harry swallowing a large quantity of white Roses.
Harry was just mastering a coughing fit, when he heard Ron take a sharp intake of breath, and he twisted his neck around to see what was the problem.
Hermione was walking along beaming in a floaty blue gown, her hair curling elegantly down her back. Harry glanced briefly at Fleur who to his amusement was scowling at the arrival of her Maid of Honour, who was obviously more beautiful than at first anticipated. Ron's scowl reappeared at the sight of Krum, who positioned himself behind Bill- and to Ron's disgust, right next to Hermione.
The ceremony was suprisingly short, and the slightly odd "Joiner" of the two, who Harry supposed was rather like a Priest, felt the need to shoot wisps of gold glitter into the air whenever he finished a sentence. Finally, they were pronounced Husband and Wife, and everyone around Harry became animate in clapping and hugging each other. Ginny's hug lasted slightly longer than one would have considered necessary, but Harry was by no means complaining.
Harry turned to congratulate Mrs.Weasley, but Molly was sobbing so uncontrollably she was making the whole row of chairs shake. Mr.Weasley stroked her hair in alarm- "There, there, Molly- it's all gone splendid"
"My little Billy!" She wailed through a mass of tears, "All grown up and s-s-so HAPPY!" and she burst into a new flood of tears.
"Now all that's left is the Binding blessing-" Ginny whispered so that Ron couldn't hear. She needn't have bothered, because Ron's eyes were fixed on something else, something that was making his face turn an extremely unnatural colour. Before could ask him what was wrong he shouted-
"OI!" Viktor and Hermione froze mid-hug, and she looked curiously up, when on seeing Ron's faced she scowled. "What?" She hissed, accutely aware almost half the attendants of the wedding had gone silent at Ron's outburst.
"Stop- CAVORTING infront of everyone- you're- you're detracting from my brother's wedding, and I... won't have it." Ron finished lamely.
Hermione snapped away from Viktor, and scoffed loudly, forgetting that over three hundred people's eyes were on her.
"Cavorting? What on Earth are you talking about? He's the best man- we were just celebrating..."
"Yeah right, the only two people who were 'celebrating' like you were are Bill and Fleur, and incase you haven't noticed- they're married!"
Harry couldn't bear to watch. With a groan Ginny clamped her hands over her eyes, and the sobs from Mrs.Weasley's direction subsided to be replaced by a disbelieving stare towards her youngest son.
Bill seemed excessively diverted, he leaned back casually to observe the spectacle- Fleur on the other hand looked murderous. She was hissing in the Joiner's ear to continue with the ceremony, but by this point he had spouted so much gold glitter mist he was struggling to see her.
Hermione had by now marched over to Ron, her face twisted in anger.
"I don't know what your problem is, Ronald. You always choose the most brilliant times to make a fool of yourself, don't you?"
Ron's face showed a shimmer of hurt, but it snapped back to rage in an instant, "At least I'm not walking around like a doting puppy after some twisted-nosed, scowling idiot-" Krum moved forward angrily, but with a particularly violent hand gesture Hermione stopped him, her voice raising to a deafening level.
"You're right," she screeched, her nose almost touched Ron's now, "You're too busy being cowardly-couldn't even leave your dear Lav-Lav- you had to wait until she did it. Have you ever actually done anything impulsive or decisive in your life?"
"YOU WANT IMPULSIVE?"Ron hollered, and grabbed Hermione so suddenly she couldn't even gasp in suprise before he attached his lips firmly to hers.
There was utter silence, even the swans had stopped paddling round the pond. As Ron and Hermione finally broke apart Harry couldn't help but say to Ginny-
"-and to think, he wanted to tell her casually."
Within moments Fred and George were whooping and clapping with glee, whereas Fleur's voice was now echoing madly "It eez my wedding day! Zis is a disgrace! We have not even been binded yet!"
Krum, who looked as if every thought he had was bent towards punching Ron, distractedly pointed his wand and cast the spell. Unfortunately the effect was similar to Ron's previous attempt, and Fleur's hair caught on fire. She screamed, and although Bill put it out before it could do much damage, Fleur was beside herself with distress.
Charlie Weasley came running suddenly up the aisle, performed the spell effectively and light blue bands stretched momentarily accross both Fleur and Bill, before they were transported to the top of Charlie's tamed dragon. As it flew them away to their Honeymoon destination, Harry couldn't help note the "Just Married" sign attached loosely to the dragon's tail as itdissapeared into the sunset.
Daring not to look at either Hermione or Ron, who both looked like they wanted nothing more thana giant flobberworm to come along and digest them, Mr.Weasley croaked, "Well... Shall we have cake and champagne?"
A few more chapters left yet, but I'm almost done, I promise.